Now that I've fixed up my recent post, I'll post a wee bit more

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Last edited by punxnotdead (2008-05-26 13:01:43)

I love the tone you give all your stories,it reminds me of Stephen King a bit,in a good way!Your detailing and descriptions fit perfectly,so please continue and tell us what happens to our lycanthrope!

I remember seeing a biography about him on the documentary channel. I remember seeing that silver bullet movie...good one.
I should check the novel out.

He's a good author,you tones are just similar in the way that the carry a serious and somberness with the story.The dark quality is not overwhelming nor unnoticed,tis just perfect to go with the story.I have trouble making my stories serious,I always think they carry an R.L. Stine(Goosebumps) quality,like they are written for 5th graders...

Here's some more for ya'
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Last edited by punxnotdead (2008-05-26 13:03:34)

Awesome,I want to say a million other compliments but Every aspect of this is just....Awesome!!!

Wonderful way to introduce Alex to the idea that he's not alone! Through a newspaper Article!
  In most cases when this is done, it's to give the character some idea that 'they' know about him, and he's in danger. It's also used to make the character think he is the 'unknown creature' described in the article.
  In this case, however, you use it to point him to the fact that there are more of his own kind. That's a unique take on the idea, punx! Well done!

nice. I can sence a confrontation coming on sweet! Hey is Mellissa going to turn Alex in? considering that she knows that he's a were and that a werewolf was to blame for the killings.

NEED MORE STORY!!!!!!!!! GAAAH (falls over on ground. Doctor comes CLEAR!!!! 'BUZZET') jk

Last edited by Grey_Tsume (2007-11-08 21:28:16)

I finally got to catch up with your story, punx, and I must compliment you. Every time I think you are headed for a stereotype or cliche, you twist it into something refreshing. I really enjoy that, punx. Well Done!
  I don't know if this was intentional or not, but I loved what you did in one particular area.
  One paragraph described the abandoned drainage system as 'the only refuge from the Crowell and those who hunted them'. Personally, I love that. Using a definite article with Crowell's name turns him into more of a thing than a person in the Werewolves' viewpoint. You've already introduced the reader to the Crowell character, so we know who he is, but it gives us an idea as to what these refugees really think of him. It makes it sound like they view him as less than human. Even if it was an accident, I might encourage you to develop it in your story by adding "the" to most of the references to Crowell that the refugees make. I just thought it was a really nice touch.

Last edited by Grayle (2007-11-13 13:03:31)

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what?
What?!
Wait - What?
WHAT?!

What the Heck?!

Punx, you just Can't be serious!
You had such an intriguing, engulfing, enthralling, enveloping tale with Alex! He was really coming along! I simply refuse to believe he's gone. I think you're leading us on. That's what it is. You're just pulling our tails.

  Okay; ranting aside, once again your descriptions and use of similes really shine, punx. I also loved how he couldn't get traction on the wood floor - that was marvelous!
  Literally, you went from boredom to discouragement to anxiety to panic to humor to desperation to happiness to curiosity, and then back to anxiety to panic to pain to desperation to peace to death. And all in less than 12 paragraphs! Holy Guacamole with cheese! Like, give me a chance to breathe, here!
  That was indeed magnificent - no doubt about it - but it may possibly be a bit too much too quickly for your readers to be able to keep up with the pace. The outcome might also feel a bit rushed to some: gradually building a great story and character development, and then it all gets obliterated in a page and a half. Even if you are continuing the story with more chapters, such a drastic ending could be in danger of turning a few readers off. Again, it's just a possibility, but perhaps it would be beneficial to expand this finale a little in your later drafts.

Of course. A dream sequence. Why do i always fall for those?

Very extreme descriptions of Alex's reactions to seeing Crowell again. Well done!
  I love the fact that he has a cat that seems to accept him regardless of his furry secret. However, I can see many people trying to argue that the cat would be able to sense his Lycanthropy and realize he wasn't who he really is and it would send the cat into a frenzy, if that makes sense. Possibly adding a thought like Scuffles was 'the only one who shared his secret' or something might deter those kind of arguments.
  I relished how Alex was picking up on mannerisms of Crowell that most people might not recognize.
Oh, I can't wait to find out what Alex does next...

Last edited by Grayle (2007-11-22 17:44:10)

No worries Punx.  Take care of your schooling, it's more important.

Just remember, when you're back to your straight A's, you have a waiting audience here.

I'm sorry I never posted here, your story must have just slipped through the cracks.  I completely enjoy it!

AND.

I like how our main characters have the same name.