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#1 2007-12-01 17:27:48

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

An angel for a Wulf

hey ya'll this is my first post, i hope i please but to tell ya the truth i want to do this to show my writing for yall. so anyway be as critical as ya want or as praising. remember ya'll the wolf inside is a blessing not a curse.

The air was musky and damp, the sky was dark and cloudy, the rain hit the black pavement with their each own trancendant sound. Grey wetted his lips and stared in wonder at what a spectacle the night could be. Why couldn't he be more a part of it?Grey often wondered why he was so....human. It sounded corny but Grey often thought that to be more part of the night he would have to be something ...else.  It was damn cruel for god to allow him to feel the complete and total cravings of the night and not be one with it. Grey looked out across the small town for what he could see, maybe there was something of interest for once. But there was nothing again, nothing, no mysterious figure promising splendor and wonder, no creature to take him to the far corners of his dreams. Grey looked to the almost full moon that lighted the town with such beauty with his fading blue eyes. Grey chuckled a little.

"Soon" he thought, "Soon i will not have any color in my eyes."

And it was true. for the past years his once bright blue eyes had started dulling in color drastically, his hair wasn't the bright color it was but a dark brown/black that almost wasn't curled anymore. Grey hated his old look, almost glad at the change happening to him. The look he had before looked too much like he only saw the good side to life and couldn't see the dark.

"Like I couldn't see what is really out there" scoffed Grey with a snarl "Ignorance..."he muttered, hating it.

Grey sighed and continued to walk along the cold streets not even having goose bumps along his paling skin.
A dull feeling filled Grey's body. His legs got anxious, his arms swinging slightly, his hair standing up on the back of his neck...time for a run.

Grey's legs pushed forward, almost creaking as they stressed. He felt his whole torso move to match his lower body. He opened his mouth slightly to taste the night, loving the dampness that came into his mouth from the moistened air. He smiled slightly, loving the feeling of running, and sped up more. He rounded a corner, a sign standing straight out of the ground to show that the street ahead was a dead end. The grass was all wet and glistening, the crickets all chirped to sing.

As he turned the corner the sounds grew silent very slowly. No life seemed to stir upon the long stretch. As Grey ran he occasionally gave the area a once over with his eyes and nose. Grey heard a dog bark suddenly to the right of him. The sudden intrusion made Grey swirl to meet this intrusion. The dog was chained and snarling...but it didn't seem to be angry, but ...scared? He had also missed the dog with his scan of the area. This disturbed Grey, his eyesight wasn't the best and was sort of blurry but could pick up movement better than a lot of others. His ears and nose were the best thing he had though, he hated that others had forgotten how useful the nose and ears could be.

Grey would often be looked at oddly when he would comment on something that he smelt or heard that apparently no one else heard. Grey couldn't figure this out. Shaking his head but not taking his eyes of the dog he started of again at a slow jog. Instantly each house seemed to explode with barking and snarls. Grey was so surprised he took of like lightning down the street. His muscles pounded and stretched, the noise surrounded him and tried to converge on him but he ran through it. Seeing he was almost out of the avenue, he looked back to see this occurrence that would stick with Grey forever. Grey saw a white wolf-like animal running after him with the deepest and soul casting eyes he had ever seen. The dog did not seem to run but shift as fog does across the pavement. Now completely taken by surprise and at the end of his wits he lost control, for some reason, he knew he had to run..for whatever reason..whether it be from this mystical beast or to show the creature his speed, he ran.

Last edited by WritingWulf (2008-03-13 23:04:58)

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#2 2007-12-01 18:24:18

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Very nice beginning, WritingWolf!

  I really enjoyed many of the similes and descriptions you used. The descriptions of the weather, the change in physical characteristics of Grey, and even his internal longings make the reader want to learn more. Well done!
  I must admit, though, I was a little confused as to whether Grey was in a human or wolf form, mostly due to where some of your descriptions were placed. It raises questions in the mind of the reader, such as: When he went for his jog, was it still raining? Is he actually losing his vision? Why is his sense of hearing and smell so acute?
  I might also recommend 3 things of a technical nature:
     You may wish to break up the story into more paragraphs. Long paragraphs can be daunting to your audience.   
     Also, little things like indenting the first line of paragraphs need to be done manually on this forum, but they greatly help the reader keep track if you apply them.
     Finally, you may wish to use a spell checker from a word processor like Microsoft Word or Open Office, as there were a few spelling and grammar anomalies that proved a bit distracting.
  That being said, your story is very intriguing and has a unique introduction. It captures the attention of the reader very well. Great work!

  One last thing: as I try to do with everyone, new or not, I would highly recommend reading some of the other stories and WIP's (Works in Progress) here that are updated regularly. One of the things we try to do in the Stories area of the Werewolf Cafe is encourage and critique each other, and more opinions are always welcome.
  Currently, the most updated are:

A New Story Without A Name(actually called Ever-Present Past)   by Niktoma,
Werewolf in the shadows   by Punxnotdead,
Alaskan wolf   by TIM.ber.wolf, 
Oh Brother Wolf Where Art Thou?   by LoupGarouAngel (we're all hoping her Wolf Nights story will be updated soon too), and
Cry of the Wolf   by Grey_Tsume.

  You can also add to the Nightmare exercise and the Writer's Den any time you'd like.
  Finally, Welcome to the Werewolf Cafe Stories section, and we hope to see your additions here often!


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

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#3 2007-12-01 18:30:20

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

hmmm i see. very awsome feedback. the reason i dont like paragraphs is because well i dont rightly know but ill look at it soon. its was off of my head at the time and i wish it had been previously viewed. and spelling is a big thing that escapes my writing. thank you very much for the critisicm grayl! im very pleased with it and i will work at perfecting this new born work.

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#4 2007-12-01 20:23:32

LoupGarouAngel
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From: USA
Registered: 2006-09-20
Posts: 5420
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Re: An angel for a Wulf

Amazing start writingwolf,I just totally love the descriptions and details,makes the reader feel as if they are right there!Totally excited to read the next section!big_smile


"You're like one of those lab rats that hits the pleasure button instead of the food until it dies!" Sam-Houses of the Holy.
"Dude, you Fugly." Dean-Scarecrow.
A therian who's a wanna be screenwriter, but doesn't have a life story that fits the bill...
http://loupgarouangel.deviantart.com/

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#5 2007-12-01 20:32:45

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Alright im back i figured that last post wasn't that much so i should give at least a couple more paragraphs. well i was thinking how to do this for at least 2 hours so....here ya go!

Grey's lungs felt like they were bleeding and about to implode from the lack of oxygen, but the pain felt good. Grey took a minute to recap on what had just happened and looked around the intersection to the street he had just made his way from. Nothing showed itself to Grey but he knew he had seen something and shouldn't dismiss it. Grey looked to the sky in hope that his Mother Moon would answer his confusion, alas, the only comfort she gave was the absolute beauty that she usually gave off. Lost in the sight of the moon too long to be safe, Grey snapped back into attention and looked around again. Nothing. Grey suddenly found himself chuckling. The laughter grew into almost hysterical. Grey had to hold his already hurting lungs from the exertion they were putting forth. The randomness from the laughter scared Grey a little but he couldn't think of it long before the picture of that wolf would appear again in ...his mind..no..his soul.

Grey woke in the morning unusually sore and tired. The usual pain in his back that had bothered him since childhood seemed to be especially bad this time. Pain shot from the now numb spot on his back just under his left shoulder blade, and spun around to his arm which launched itself into his heart. Grey gasped at the sudden pain. It was almost ..unbearable...no..nothing was unbearable. Grey grimaced and tried to calm himself. The pain was hard to ignore but Grey did it, when his whole body was calm he concentrated on the pain and found it was not only those three parts of him that hurt but his whole left side. Taking in a breath slowly and shoving the pain aside he let the breath out and sat up to walk to the refrigerator to get something to drink before he forced himself to the same boring school he went to every boring day.

Grey was a fairly built teen. His muscles were traced through his whole body, the only problem was that he was slightly overweight. The punch nicked Grey on the chin just barely. The kid was too scared to hit Grey to get close enough for a hit that would do any considerable damage....and Grey loved to see what the other f*cker had.

"Your going down fat ass" the kid vowed through gritted teeth and with a whiny voice that made Grey twitch with agitation.

The tall teen in front of Grey was skinny, white, and dressed in blue jeans, sneakers, and a jersey of some sort of sort. Grey had had some built up stress and felt...he needed to let it out, and, Grey had needed something to do. Grey growled from low inside his stomach that shook his throat. Right before he launched himself at the stupid individual, he found if he did swing, he wouldn't be able to stop. Grey, in that one second, found in his heart and soul that he wanted to kill this kid for almost no reason. Grey suddenly became angry, more angry than he had been in a long time. Tension instantly flowed through his whole body, muscles bulged to their full potential and bones cracked in what seemed an effort to make room for the muscle. Grey could feel his eyes bulge and his hair stand up. The poor kid that had been ready to face off to Grey now backed away confused, and scared. The look on his face wasn't the only thing that made Grey want to jump on the kid...no..pounce? It was the way he started moving his arms in front of himself like a small worthless shield that would bring only glee to Grey to break through. Grey stepped back in an effort to control himself. His first instinct was to tense up but if he did that, he would probably lose control.

Looking deep inside himself, he slowly tried to collect. Grey's breath was a shudder as he inhaled and exhaled. Gradually Grey's eyes were in focus again and was able to see accordingly. Panting and exhausted, Grey looked around and saw that the small crowd that had gathered and the kid himself had left and what looked like in a hurry. Grey sighed and got up. He walked away with a snarl on his face and decided school could wait another day.

Last edited by WritingWulf (2008-03-13 23:14:39)

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#6 2007-12-01 20:37:10

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Thx loup! it means alote comin from you.

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#7 2007-12-01 21:24:23

LoupGarouAngel
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From: USA
Registered: 2006-09-20
Posts: 5420
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Re: An angel for a Wulf

Another great section,especially the scene with the other kid and the rage Grey felt,very nice!

Last edited by LoupGarouAngel (2007-12-01 21:33:01)


"You're like one of those lab rats that hits the pleasure button instead of the food until it dies!" Sam-Houses of the Holy.
"Dude, you Fugly." Dean-Scarecrow.
A therian who's a wanna be screenwriter, but doesn't have a life story that fits the bill...
http://loupgarouangel.deviantart.com/

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#8 2007-12-01 21:33:58

LoupGarouAngel
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From: USA
Registered: 2006-09-20
Posts: 5420
Website

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Nah,I wasn't confused!I apologize my last post was incorrect,I meant the rage Grey felt,not the other kid,is that what you meant?


"You're like one of those lab rats that hits the pleasure button instead of the food until it dies!" Sam-Houses of the Holy.
"Dude, you Fugly." Dean-Scarecrow.
A therian who's a wanna be screenwriter, but doesn't have a life story that fits the bill...
http://loupgarouangel.deviantart.com/

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#9 2007-12-01 21:40:37

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

no loup i knew what you ment, i had more to write in the hope to better show Grey's anger, i didnt feel i had it nailed so i fixed it! thx loup!

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#10 2007-12-01 21:46:28

LoupGarouAngel
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2006-09-20
Posts: 5420
Website

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Ahh,I see!Rereading it appears you added more details,which added even more beauty to the scene!Great job!big_smile


"You're like one of those lab rats that hits the pleasure button instead of the food until it dies!" Sam-Houses of the Holy.
"Dude, you Fugly." Dean-Scarecrow.
A therian who's a wanna be screenwriter, but doesn't have a life story that fits the bill...
http://loupgarouangel.deviantart.com/

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#11 2007-12-01 22:08:36

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: An angel for a Wulf

The descriptions you use of Grey's thoughts and urges are phenomenal, WritingWolf. I liked how you had him understanding many of his own feelings, but searching for the right words to describe others. It bears the idea that he was confused with the new occurrences and what they meant. Very nice!
  The term 'Mother Moon' indicates that Grey knows something about his past, and possibly even the source of his condition - is that a fair bet? If that's the case, the reader will be wondering more about who Grey is and why he refers to the moon as his mother. Elaborating on Gray's history or how he got where he is (perhaps through soliloquy) might fit in pretty well, and satisfy the curiosity of the reader.
  The strange pain was exquisitely described, and also causes great interest.
  Can't wait to see where you take us from here!


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

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#12 2007-12-01 22:52:54

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

*jumps back on comp* i cant stay away from the comp!!! doctor what is wrong with me!?!?!? Doc: well Wulf you seem to have "want to write to much fever" WritingWulf: Well duh!!! *eats doctor and dances away*

Grey was lost in the music. It was all around him, loud, and almost piercing the air with its beauty....never enough, not untill he was a part of the music...in the music...was the music. The new ,almost familiar, pain rocked him from his souls comfort zone. Grey rubbed his chest in an attempt to numb the pain while he looked around his small appartment that was filled with loud blazing music and posters of rockers that no'one had heard of because they were'nt "cool enough". Grey looked at the clock that hung from the wall, he was an hour late from the time Blaze had told him to be at his house.

"Damn!" he yelped "Blaze will..."

What was he worried about? Blaze was his best freind since childhood and was the most laid back, happy-go-lucky person Grey though he could stand to be around, so he wouldnt care if Grey was a little late. Grey slowly eased himself of his too comfy bed, and sat on the edge of the mattres. Rubbing his dark brown hair Grey was plagued with the thought of the rage he had felt. He could have killed that kid. It was there, inside of Grey, the need to tackle his opponet and make him bleed...to feel the skin puncture and the sweet esctacy that woudl be the end. Grey shook his head. He had always been a little to violent, even a little to wild, but never wanting death...never enjoying the thought of it. Slipping on his brown skater shoes and a black teeshirt to match his black jeans he made his way out of the ransack of an trailer.

While walking Grey was taunted with his old obsetion of finding love. Brushing his hair back out of his face just to gloat to himself that it was long enough to do that with, Grey left his hand sitting in his hair as he walked trying to figure out why love would be so important. He wasnt so arrogent to think that it had no purpose, everything has a purpose, but...was it for him? Grey always had trouble feeling anything other than the little repreive he had with music and the sweet anger that flared too much for safety. Would love be anydifferent? Would someone out there be able to cope with his connection he felt with the night and nature and be able to share it?....all this was disturbing him, why did all this matter now? It felt like he was searching for something now..something.

Somewhere deep in a lost forest:
A shadow of what could barely be called a human surveyed the clearing of the forest. The Vampires were dancing their shady dance, chanting, screeching, and drinking...human blood. The dark figure cracked a smirk.

"All is under way" the figure chuckled.

The Dark Figure thought about the werewolves who were doing their own dance on the other side of the forest. This task would have been imposable to get the two races in the same forest without it becoming a full out war if the figure wouldnt have made them stupid and careless with his....talents. "The plan will be completed very soon" whispered the figure to the winds and night. Staring at the night, surounded by the howls and screetches of the were's and vamp's, the figure stood in the glory of the moon and wondered how he was worthy of such a dark plan of his working.

Last edited by WritingWolf (2008-01-29 18:53:04)

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#13 2007-12-01 22:59:09

LoupGarouAngel
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2006-09-20
Posts: 5420
Website

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Ohh,you leave us in suspense and wonder!Once again,wonderful section!


"You're like one of those lab rats that hits the pleasure button instead of the food until it dies!" Sam-Houses of the Holy.
"Dude, you Fugly." Dean-Scarecrow.
A therian who's a wanna be screenwriter, but doesn't have a life story that fits the bill...
http://loupgarouangel.deviantart.com/

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#14 2007-12-01 23:02:52

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

thx very much loup but im afraid ill wait till tomorow to make more of grey's life real. srry but i need to get things all organized in da ol muzzle. once again thx very much to all those who have welcomed me into werewolfcafe! this seems to have become my new pack family

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#15 2007-12-01 23:05:40

LoupGarouAngel
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2006-09-20
Posts: 5420
Website

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Well,welcome to the pack!
*Nuzzle*


"You're like one of those lab rats that hits the pleasure button instead of the food until it dies!" Sam-Houses of the Holy.
"Dude, you Fugly." Dean-Scarecrow.
A therian who's a wanna be screenwriter, but doesn't have a life story that fits the bill...
http://loupgarouangel.deviantart.com/

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#16 2007-12-01 23:05:56

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

OH NO!!! I JUST REALIZED!! right before i was going to log off  my freind came in and asked the title of my writing and i said An Angel for a Wulf and he said to look at the title and...gahh!! and i cant change it can i? oh...this kinda makes me sad...ah well this stuff happens.

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#17 2007-12-01 23:07:14

LoupGarouAngel
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2006-09-20
Posts: 5420
Website

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Ask BusBoy,he should be able to change it for ya!


"You're like one of those lab rats that hits the pleasure button instead of the food until it dies!" Sam-Houses of the Holy.
"Dude, you Fugly." Dean-Scarecrow.
A therian who's a wanna be screenwriter, but doesn't have a life story that fits the bill...
http://loupgarouangel.deviantart.com/

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#18 2007-12-02 11:22:53

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

*howls in joy* a big thx to Dyviath for fixing that embarasing mistake for me!!!

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#19 2007-12-02 11:30:06

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Grayle wrote:

The term 'Mother Moon' indicates that Grey knows something about his past, and possibly even the source of his condition - is that a fair bet? If that's the case, the reader will be wondering more about who Grey is and why he refers to the moon as his mother. Elaborating on Gray's history or how he got where he is (perhaps through soliloquy) might fit in pretty well, and satisfy the curiosity of the reader.

lol srry Grayle i missed your reply. and your somewhat right. Mother Moon is a reference that will become very important later on in the story. Right now Grey is still somewhat in the stage in his life where he is living of his own instincts and almost nothin else. What i wanted to protrey was that Grey has a connection with the night that he wants and doesnt know he has. i might have just given away too much but i believe a small spoiler is in need since the story has been pretty dry so far.

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#20 2007-12-02 12:57:46

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

Grey was about to slaunter into Blazes driveway when his cellphone started vibrating inside his pocket. Without looking at who the caller was Grey answered. "Ello?"

The answer was from Blaze "Hey, dude we are over at the grocery store, sorry i couldnt wait any longer." Grey sighed of his anger at Blazes lack of intelegence.

"Fine, be there soon." Grey hung up without waiting for the reply.

The growl started deep in his gut then worked itself out to his throat and finally out his mouth. Grey thought for a second if his true love, if he had one, would accept that type of behavior, then decided if she couldnt she wasnt for him. He was wild and needed to be recognized as such. Grey started walking down the street that would lead him to the meeting place. Grey tried to calm down, he had to other wise his freinds he would meet soon would not be very happy with his attitude. Why couldnt they get when he was mad he wasnt mad at them but just mad in general? damn. He always had to put himself second to his freinds so that they would not get pissy. The rage of this all accumilated into tension that rippled through his whole body. Grey couldnt help it, he needed to get rid of it, let it out, all the pain,rage,and complications. Grey bent his knees in need of this release. His head flung itself almost on his own accord to the sky and Grey heard a long and hollow sound come from his mouth. The sound astounded Grey, it was...beautiful. He didnt want it to stop, it was his release.

As the howl subsided Greys head allowed itself to droop down. Grey was stuned. That was the most wonderfull experiance he had ever had. Wanting to complete thinking over this more Grey noticed he must be more late then he was before and got up with surprising lax. His whole body was now tired but in a relaxing way. Grey was about to start walking again when his lax feeling was interupted with a type of presence....like a call. Maybe an answer to his own. Grey didnt hear the call with his ears as much as his soul. He shivered slightly in wonder at the presence that he knew now made its way toward him now. Grey couldnt tell what it was but for some reason he could feel the odd presence making its way to him, fast.

Last edited by WritingWolf (2007-12-13 18:50:16)

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#21 2007-12-02 12:59:12

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

srry the entry is kinda short but ill continue shortly.

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#22 2007-12-02 13:49:26

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

The lost forest:

The dance was almost complete. The Vamps and Weres had no idea of what they were really doing. They thought this creature they were summoning would help their own kind in the war against each race. The dark figure laughed again with malice and contempt for the upcoming events. Soon he would have the power to over come both sides and rule. Suddenly the cries and howls made by the Weres were halted and replaced with screams of confusion and fear. The surprised Dark figure's eyes darted to the disturbance and saw what he had feared. Down below, in the plains of the forest where the Weres were doing their ritual, the Weres were all scrambling away from the odd white and black mist that was eminating from the ground. It was too soon! The ritual was supposed to be completed by both sides at the same time!

The Dark figure leaped of his perch and down the 20 foot drop of the tree he had been standing and waiting on. The figure made its way faster than any human could dream of moving, it was almost like lightning in the form of smoke.

"It's mine!" screeched the figure as he raced down the plains to the ritual site "The power is mine!"

The figure jumped from a ledge and landed just 12 feet from the spirits that now were twisting and lashing. The figure steped forward and screeched to the large form "Come to your master!" The figure drew out its smoky hand from under its cloak and grasped at the radiating wonder in front of him "Come forth!". The large form of mist and souls violently changed thier movement pattern and became fierce with heat that could be felt by the Dark figure. The figure steped back

"What?!?" it screeched. The mixture of shapes and mist now became as radiant and fierce as any blaze. It now stood 16 foot tall and twisted into the form of the flames that could only be held in hell itself.

The Weres all backed farther away, some looking to the figure who had instructed them to do the ritual, promising them power and greatness from it now saw only death from it. The figure leaped into the air above the crowds head's, and onto a small mound made of rock. The flame hit the stone without a sound though the sight looked as if a meteorite had struck. The flames calmed and in their place now stood a wolf-like figure burning with black flames all over the body. The Dark figure who had thought this ritual would have brought himself power now was enraged. The black burning wolf looked at the Dark figure with eyes burning white with wisdom born from the heavens themselves. The celestial wolf looked to the sky in time to hear a howl, a howl from a soul who had the beast inside, that wanted a chance, a chance to let the beast out and be one with the night.The Beast leaped from the rock and landed only to run in the forest like the wind itself gave it reason enough and returned the howl that seemed to make the forest around it stream with power, trees seemed to shift, the air seemed to get thicker, and the sky turned a luminicent red, mixing with the already dark sky.

What no'one would know untill later was that the exchanged howls set forth a chain of events that neither good nore evil wanted. The moon already had started moving to intercept the sun, this would not be seen by anyone except the one destined to become one with the wolf.

The Dark figure stared in shock and hate after the beast. The Dark figures form swirled and almost collasped with the rage that now eminated from it. With one shake the figure calmed itself and reinstated it form. With a sigh it looked around to find the Weres were now surounded around it and from what it looked like ready to kill. The figure stared at them all and laughed while disapeering before any of the Weres had a chance to pounce on their prey. Every Were, not being under the influence of the Dark figure, now noticed the smell of Vampires in the air. A howl made itself heard, then another, and another, soon every Were in that pack had the scent and was ready to go into a frenzy. The one they had trusted had tricked them and made them release a power they couldnt even have, now they learn that Vampires were close? Oh no, this wasnt acceptable.

Last edited by WritingWolf (2007-12-14 17:23:43)

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#23 2007-12-02 14:51:29

WritingWulf
Member
From: Wisconsin
Registered: 2007-11-16
Posts: 5645

Re: An angel for a Wulf

grrr im still not very pleased with my last few entries....

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#24 2007-12-02 15:39:23

LoupGarouAngel
Member
From: USA
Registered: 2006-09-20
Posts: 5420
Website

Re: An angel for a Wulf

You should be!The scene with the flames of hell and then turning to a wolf was great!The dark figure gives us a sense of wonder and suspicion,what does he want?What is he?The questions leave me wanting more and excitedly awaiting the next section!


"You're like one of those lab rats that hits the pleasure button instead of the food until it dies!" Sam-Houses of the Holy.
"Dude, you Fugly." Dean-Scarecrow.
A therian who's a wanna be screenwriter, but doesn't have a life story that fits the bill...
http://loupgarouangel.deviantart.com/

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#25 2007-12-02 19:56:06

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: An angel for a Wulf

I really liked this segment. Just goes to show you: when you try to obtain ultimate power, it never goes the way you want it to. Remember that, kids. smile
  Truthfully, I really enjoyed the action and the twists in this segment. Unfortunately, I had a bit of confusion on the wolf spirit, though - LOTR is playing in the background as I read it, so I pictured your wolf spirit like it was the Balrog of Morgoth. My loss.
  It will be interesting to see how far along the Vamps got in their ritual, and if the weres will have the upper claw...


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

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