Sorry for the long gap in updates, I got stuck working 1st shift for 4 weeks for some training.  At any rate here is part 25.


Julian left the table and ran to the door with Riverstone and the other wolf kin in close pursuit.  Julian opened the kitchen door and they all poured outside.  The morning sun was still rising to its zenith; birds were singing their songs to greet the day.  Julian flopped onto the ground and enjoyed the feeling of the still cool grass, and the growing warmth of the sun upon his face.

Julian looked up and saw Riverstone and the others assume playful positions, looking to him to make the first move.  Julian rolled over onto all fours and pounced onto one of the wolves.  The air was filled with the joyful squeals and whelps of Julian and the wolves as the wrestled with each other.  They tackled one another in shows of strength, and nipped playfully at one another’s flesh.  Julian laughed heartily and the wolves yelped and barked with excitement.

From the kitchen window, Elizabeth watched the wolves and Julian.  She had never seen him act so rough before.  When he was with her he seemed to be the same sweet and tender child he always had been.  Though seeing him with the wolves he seemed, aggressive, powerful, almost like he was an animal.  She turned to Agatha and asked, “Momma, is Julian one of . . .â€�

yes, please continue soon.

Hmmmm... Well,  it just seems to me to be a little diluted in reference to your usual descriptive quality, and the last sentence feels a little repetitive in the phrase usage; but again, it might just be me. Anyway, here's one idea, but this is me writing it, not you, so don't read too much into it.

From the kitchen window Elizabeth watched Julian as he frolicked in the grass, tackling and nipping at the wolves playfully. She had never seen him play so roughly before, and it caught her curiosity. Whenever he was in her immediate presence he was a most sweet and tender child, never causing anything that could be considered a ruckus. Yet as she looked through the window, watching him play happily and peacefully with his wolf kin, he seemed to be more aggressive, assertive, and even powerful; he acted almost like he was an animal - no, acted like he was one of them.
 
  Elizabeth turned to Agatha with a question that she was almost afraid to ask. “Momma, about Julian; is he...â€�

  Again, this is merely a suggestion; and the main problem I have with this suggestion is that it makes Elizabeth sound a little prejudiced against the wolves in her family. As a result, I wouldn't recommend using this. However, I hope it might give you an idea as to how you could rephrase the paragraph.

Last edited by Grayle (2008-10-14 12:32:35)

Sorry for the delay, but here is the next section.  I hope you all enjoy!
Scotophobia part 26

Agatha approached Elizabeth and gazed out the window at Julian and the wolves.  She said, “Yes dear, he is like you, partly of the human world and partly the wolf.â€�  Agatha placed her hand onto Elizabeth’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

Elizabeth said in a very soft tone, “So this is why you brought him here, and why you had me come here?�

“Yes,â€� Agatha replied, “the time is growing short.  The time of his first change is coming soon.  It is why we have had to bring him here; and why we had him to play and bond with the wolves.  They have been showing him their ways.â€�

Elizabeth’s mind called up more memories.  She remembered learning the games of the wolf.  Track, hunt, pounce, wrestle, they all came back to her.  Her body began to quiver with excitement as she remembered the sensations she had been repressing; the night of her first change, her first kill, running free through the forest.  Suddenly, Elizabeth became weak in the knees and began to fall.  Bart caught her from behind and steadied her.  Agatha caressed her cheek and felt it to be hot to the touch.  She asked for a glass of water and one of her cousins brought one over and handed it to Agatha.

Agatha said, “Bart set her in the chair there.â€�  Bart set his sister down in the dinning chair as Elizabeth began to recover from her episode.  Agatha handed her the water and she drank long and deep the cool clear water.

i've got to say, i've been reading this story and you have yet to disappoint me. Lovely, just lovely.

Sorry I've been so lax on updates everyone.  Here is the next part.  Short, yes, but more will follow.  Soon I hope.

Part 27
Agatha sent everyone from the room and pulled up a chair next to Elizabeth.  “I’m alright,â€� Elizabeth said as she sat the glass onto the table.

Agatha said, “Something is wrong isn’t it?�

Elizabeth shook her head, “No, I’m alright.  Just a little tired is all.â€�

Agatha reached out and cupped her hands around Elizabeth’s hands.  “Sweetie, I know that something is going on with you, I can see it in your face.â€�

Elizabeth looked at Agatha and left out a depressed sigh.  “Well, I’ve been having some old thoughts come to mind recently, things that I haven’t thought of in years.  In the past few days I have remembered a lot but this last time, just now, I felt weak.  Momma, what’s happening to me?â€�

Agatha smiled and said, “It’s alright Elizabeth.  These flashes of memory that you having are to be expected since you have come back home.  There are some more things that you need to remember about our family.â€�

“You mean more than us being a family of werewolves?�

Cool!  I hope you enjoy it when you read it. 

Dude, you fail to not impress. More please, i need sum ore. lol

Scotophobia 29

Questions assailed Elizabeth’s mind as she starred intently at the figure of her father in the front yard.  The figure starred at the front of the house, almost as if it was waiting for someone to come outside.  “It can’t be him, it just cant,â€� Elizabeth thought to herself.  “But, what if it is him?  Maybe he didn’t die, maybe,â€� suddenly a twinge of excitement came over her, “he’s come home!â€� 

The figure suddenly turned its head toward the window Elizabeth was watching it through.  She saw the figure’s face change into a warm smile, and then it raised its hand and motioned to her to come outside.  The twinge of excitement grew in her bosom.  She wanted to run outside and have him wrap his strong arms around her.  She spun around and was suddenly met with Agatha’s face in front of her.

“Honey, what are you doing up so late?�

Elizabeth replied, “It’s daddy, he’s come home!�

Agatha seemed puzzled.  “Elizabeth, that is impossible.â€�

“No no,â€� Elizabeth insisted, “he is right there in the front yard.â€�  She pulled the curtains open and as she and Agatha looked out the window, they saw an empty yard in the stillness of the night.

  Glad you like it Goldie.  I'll get some more done soon. 

Why thank you Mr. Robo.  I hope to have more soon. 

cool, so, she really isn't going nutz.

Just caught up.

  I'm very impressed, Wolfsong! I appreciated the explanations of the purpose you give to your werewolves, as guardians of a world of which we humans know not. The last chapters reinforced the story's grip on my attention, with a mysterious visage of a fallen family member, yet the true form recognized by the elder Agatha, who seems to have a somewhat personal familiarity with the apparition. The tension and plot are both building very respectfully, tantalizing the reader, making them beg for further explanation. Absolutely Phenomenal, Wolfsong!
 
  I think I might have found one or two sentence structure oddities, maybe a strange punctuation choice, but your spelling is terrific and your story flows as gracefully as water in a rolling brook deep in the forest. 

  Keep it coming, Wolfsong!