Thanks guys!    I tried reworking the new entry with your suggestions Grayle, let me know it it is better this way.

I do too, but it fees like something is lacking from it.  I can't put my claw on it but something feels off.  Oh and good catch on the tense structure.  Thanks a million buddy! 

woot!MORE!

Wolf, this was a good, can't wait for the continuation.

Grayle wrote:

Ah, the somber even comes at last.
  I found it interesting that the storm seemed to subside after you explained the reason for the lantern, it makes it sound like the spirits are clearing the way for them. I'm not sure if that was what you were going for, but it works very well. I also liked the last sentence. It will be interesting to see what you have in store for his dream.

  On a technical note, your second sentence apparently doesn't have appropriate verb structure. If you changed taking to took, it would resolve the structure conflict. Also, I think 'minuet' is supposed to be 'minute'- which is something that a spell catcher would miss every time.

  That being said, I still like the feeling of ceremony and tradition that you have instilled in the scene, as well as the implied ties to the elements which benefit the family. It doesn't have a Native American feel to it, per se, but the principles and themes are very similar, yet clearly original, and I like that a lot.

  Very nice work, Wolfsong!

Thanks Grayle!  I'm glad you like the entry.  And thank you for catching the spelling and grammar problems.  I really appreciate that! 

that shouldn't be hard at all.

^ ^, glad to give credit, where it's due.

As promised!
Scotophobia Part 37

Julian opened his eyes and found himself in the forest.  He brushed the brittle leaves off himself and stood up.  He looked around and saw the bare trees and bushes bathed in afternoon sunshine.  He tried to remember how he had gotten there, but his memory evaded him.  He called out in his little voice, “Mommy, Granny, Riverstone?â€�  No voices answered his call.  He called out again and was greeted by nothing again; he began to breathe heavily, his eyes darted from side to side.  He called out a third time, panic infesting his voice.  Still no sound returned to his call; he began to shake and his breathing became more erratic as he realized, he was alone. 

The light in the forest began to fade, as if night was suddenly upon him.  Julian fell to his knees as he gasped for air, the panic of being alone ripping through his mind and body making him quiver in fright and pain.  A unique sense of pleasure was felt by the being causing this to him.  It tightened its grip on Julian’s lungs, as he tried desperately to take his next breath.  Julian felt himself begin to slip away when he heard a familiar voice say “I am your strength.â€�

Without warning, the entity recoiled the appendage it was using to harm Julian.  Pain, searing pain echoed throughout its being.  Julian stood once more, his face determined and confident; his body beaming with new strength and resilience.  He heard the sound of a wolf howl echoing in his ears.  The sound was so enchanting that he tilted his back and began to howl himself.  He realized that the howl he heard was from the wolf he encountered in his mind once before, but did not understand that the wolf was the spirit his body was yearning for.  Their howls began to synchronize, until only one remained.

That night, as Julian awoke from his sleep inside the stone circle, became whole.

cool!

Ya know, I changed my mind on the last part.  Does this sound better?

Julian opened his eyes and found himself in the forest.  He brushed the brittle leaves off himself and stood up.  He looked around and saw the bare trees and bushes bathed in afternoon sunshine.  He tried to remember how he had gotten there, but his memory evaded him.  He called out in his little voice, “Mommy. . .  Granny. . .  Riverstone?â€�  No voices answered his call.  He called out again and listened for even the faintest sound, but there was nothing. 

Julian tried to get his bearings to find his way back to the farmhouse; he looked to the forest for some signs of the way he had come there, he sniffed the air to pick up a familiar scent, but there was nothing.  No foot prints or broken twigs, no scents of home or family anywhere.  He looked intently at the trees to see if he recognized his location, but he could never remember being in this part of the forest before.  He began to breath heavier than before as panic took root in his thoughts.  As he stood there the light of the forest it suddenly faded into the deep dark night.  The forest seemed to change around him; the barren trees began to take on a more sinister visage.  Julian’s breathing became heavier as panic began to overtake his mind. 

A pair of eyes looked at Julian from within the darkness, and derived great satisfaction from the situation unfolding.  The entity clenched its dark appendage again further tightening the grip around Julian’s lungs; Julian’s breathing slowed further.  Just a little further and the child would no longer be a threat to it.

Julian felt himself begin to slip away as his breathing slowed, when he heard a familiar voice say “I am your strength.â€�  Suddenly Julian took a deep breath; his body tingled with a new energy, and felt his body begin to change.  A searing pain coursed through the dark entity’s appendage and forced it to release its hold of Julian’s lungs.  It watched as the little boy was no more, but now a hulking werewolf.  The werewolf turned and stared right at the entity and released a deep and throaty growl.

On this night, Julian became whole.

Last edited by wolfsongx (2009-05-17 00:49:50)

Thanks Goldie!  I think I will go with that one instead of the first one.  Unfortunately I think I'm almost at the end for this part of the story.  It really has turned into more than the short story that I originally had in mind.  I should have an epilogue done soon.

Goodness!  I missed your post!  Sorry about that.  Thanks for the input Grayle.    I'm not sure about the final confrontation; I've kinda stalled out again.  Maybe I can get a concept going this weekend. 

This is a really good story wolfsongx, I can't wait for the next part