I take it that you liked the last addition, ST.

I hated the last part with every fiber of my being.... What are you talking about... It made me want to read more of course I would hate you becaus of that

awesome!

Finally got this segment decent enough to where I feel like I can post it now.  Friday night Saturday morning after I got my mug of coffee and sat down to work on it I fell asleep in my computer chair after two hours.  I hate it when I do that.  It leaves my legs feeling cold and crampy and takes me half a day to work the stiffness out of them.  But I was trying to get this segment done it was just more work than I thought it would be and exhaustion won me over. 

Throughout the weekend I found bits of time here and there to fix things up and proofread until I got the material to a presentable state.  Read, Enjoy, Comment


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


        “What do these symbols mean?â€� Sean asked reaching for one of the four stones in front of him.

        “Don’t touch them yet!â€� Tara quickly warned before he disturbed what she so carefully set up.  Sean withdrew his hand in response to Tara’s abrupt outburst and he waited patiently for her to properly explain everything to him.

        “These symbols are runes and they’re Celtic in origin.  This one means protection and the other means trust.  You must follow my instructions precisely with what we do from here on out or else this won’t work like it should.â€�

        “What exactly is this that we’re doing?â€�

        “It’s called a runic trust circle and it’s more psychological than magical which is why I can get away with doing this and not get caught by my elders.  What it will do is make it so my will holds you within your circle and your will keeps me in mine, so neither one of us can be released unless the other allows it.â€�

        “I can understand you wanting to do this to protect yourself, but why would I want to keep you bound in your circle?â€�

        “That’s the beauty of it.  If you force yourself out of your circle against my will then all the force you exerted gets added to my circle making it even harder for you to get to me.  So in affect you would be working against my will and your own giving me double protection.â€�

        “That’s pretty clever actually.  Who came up with this?â€�

        “Well… this isn’t really how a true runic trust circle is supposed to work.  I modified it slightly so that it would give me two chances to protect myself from you just in case you are able to fully transform, but aren’t able to keep control.  I can try to contain you, but if that doesn’t work and you break free intent on harming me then I can try to repel you as well.â€�

        “I’m still not so sure this is safe.â€�

        “Trust me, as long as you do everything exactly as I say it’ll work perfectly.  First thing we need to do is put a drop of our blood on the rune of each of our stones.â€�

        Tara reached into her pocket on the inside of her jacket again and pulled out a small nondescript dagger with a six inch blade.  She then proceeded to drill the tip of it into one of her fingers on her right hand until a drop of blood appeared.  Laying the dagger on her lap she used her other hand to gently coax a little bit of her own blood onto two protection runes and two trust runes.  When she finished she passed the dagger off to Sean instructing him to do the same.

        Sean’s first couple of attempts were unsuccessful since a little prick of his finger healed up too quickly for any blood to escape.  He then proceeded to make a gash along the same finger, but before he could get any of the blood to drop onto a rune his body reabsorbed it.  Feeling frustrated he made a more drastic cut near the tip where he rolled the knife back and forth a couple of times until it touched bone.  It even made an audible grinding sound and Tara couldn’t help but to wince at the noise.

        Sean used the blade of the knife to keep his flesh separated and more than enough blood dripped out onto his four rune stones.  Tara made a distasteful face at the mess Sean created and her expressive brow raised as if to say “did you have to?â€�

        “What?â€� Sean responded to the look Tara gave him. “Is it too much?â€�

        “Yea, just a little.â€�

        Tara’s rune stones all had a small amount of blood barely visible against the darker color of the rune marking.  The only tell-tale sign was a faint edge of red to the rune where she had let her blood settle.  Sean’s rune stones on the other hand looked as though someone had dripped paint all over them, and it was questionable if the stones were more red than white.

        “Sorry.  I’ll wipe some of the excess off,â€� Sean said as he started to reach for one of the bloodied stones to clean it.

        “Nonono!â€� Tara shouted out in rapid succession.  Her hands also leapt from her lap wanting to physically prevent Sean from making contact with his rune stones, but at the same time she knew if she touched him at this point in the ritual it would make all of her preparation pointless.  She doubted there would be enough time left in the weekend for her to enchant a whole new set of rune stones for the trust circle.  Luckily, however, Sean froze in place before he was actually able to make contact with a single stone.

        “That was close,â€� Tara sighed and she withdrew her hands away from Sean’s space. “Please, please, please don’t touch anything unless I tell you how and when to do so.â€� Tara enunciated her words and spaced them out, making absolutely clear there could be no confusion with what she was telling him.

        “Got it,â€� Sean said, feeling stupid for having to be told a third time something so basic and simple that there was no reason he shouldn’t have gotten it in the beginning.

        “While it’s kind of gross the amount of extra blood you got there, it shouldn’t change the outcome of what we’re doing.â€�

        Sean looked back up at Tara with a little worry in his eyes.  He didn’t like how he heard the hint of a doubt in Tara’s explanation, even though she hadn’t lost her confidence.

        “Listen to me carefully before you do anything,â€� Tara calmly began her lecture. “It’s very important which hand you use when touching the rune stones from here on out.  Everything we do is based off the flow of energy around your body and mine, and how we interact with one another.  We have to maintain a strong element of balance with our actions and thoughts.  That is the foundation of this ritual and determines how well it works.  Understand so far?â€�

        Sean quietly nodded his head in agreement and listened patiently, determined not to make any more mistakes.

        “It’s vital to remember,â€� Tara continued, “your right hand is used for receiving and your left hand is used for giving away.  This establishes the flow of energy around our bodies and forms a link between us based on trust.  So, anytime you pick up a rune stone or I hand you one you use your right hand, and any time you set a stone down or give me one you use your left hand.  Pretty basic, right?â€�

        Sean nodded again letting her know she still had his undivided attention.

        “Now, the second most important key factor to making this work is the orientation of the runes based off of our perspective.  Each of the runes in front of you are positioned so that it faces you correctly.  This is known as a positive rune. During this ritual your going to have to make sure some of these runes stay in an upside down position.  Those are known as inverted runes.

        “Don’t worry this is a very simple ritual and as you follow my instructions and do exactly as I do, it’ll work perfectly.  We’ll take everything nice and slow.  Ready?â€�

        First they both picked up a trust rune with their right hands and carefully placed it on their circles where they were joined.  Very gently they pushed their stones together, making sure they would remain touching each other.  Tara explained how it symbolized their trust and how it joined them together in this unique circumstance.

        Next they simultaneously picked up a protection rune and placed it on their circle directly to the right of them Tara warned him to be extra careful with how he handled this particular rune stone, because its symbol was symmetrical both vertically and horizontally making it very easy to confuse its correct orientation if one was not particularly careful.  The protection of this rune was linked to their trust and empowered them to shield each other.

        The third stone they picked up was another trust rune stone, and with this one they exchanged their stones placing it into the other’s left hand.  Once again Tara reminded him about making sure it kept its proper orientation and now that it was in his possession the way it looked was that of an inverted rune.  Mimicking each other they placed this rune stone directly behind them on the circles edge.

        Finally the two of them gave each other their last protective rune stone and placed it on the edge of the circle to their left.  Upon completing the last step Tara described to Sean should either of them betray the trust of the other and force their way out of the circle the inverted symbols would allow the strength of the aggressor’s will to be added to the protection of the other’s circle.

        “Are  you sure this is working, because I don’t sense anything different.â€�

        “It’s working,â€� Tara confirmed.

        “How can you tell for sure?â€�

        “Because I can see it.  Go ahead and use yours hands to push against the space in front of you.â€�

        Sean did as Tara suggested and experimentally moved his hands forward until they pressed up against an invisible wall.  Visually there was nothing there, but he could see the actual affect of his palm flatten out as if he had touched a window.

        “I can’t believe it,â€� Sean said in dismay. “There really is something there.  But I thought you said this would be more psychological than magical.  How can you get away with this without your elders detecting it?â€�

        “It’s quite simple.  I’m not casting anything.  The magic already exists inside the rune stones, kind of like an enchanted item but it lies dormant until invoked like what we’re doing right now.  Rune magic by itself isn’t very powerful, but it can be used to great affect if you know how to apply it correctly.  The protective shield we’re holding each other in is actually pretty weak, but it’s linked to our own energies so we determine how strong or weak it truly is.  The strength of the shield is only applicable to us.  Someone else could walk right up to it and knock on it as hard as they would a door, and that would be sufficient to break the barrier. 

        “I’m going to gently push against my shield so you can feel what it’s like to resist me with your will.  Concentrate on wanting to keep me in.  The greater your desire the stronger you can make the shield around me.â€�

        Tara raised her hands and pushed them up against the invisible shield surrounding her.  Sean watched the surface skin of her hand compress and at the same time he felt something intangible apply a small amount of pressure near his forehead.  It rather reminded him of how his uncle would sometimes quietly check his mental defenses, ensuring he always maintained his guard.  The pressure was soft and easily overlooked if he hadn’t been expecting it.

        “Are you okay with this?â€� Tara asked.

        “Yea, I think so,â€� Sean responded, nodding his head. “So what’s next?  You want me to go go ahead and try changing like this?â€�

        “Yes, that is the next part, however I need you to try doing something different.  I’ve gotten a hold of some ancient text that describes a desert nomad that was mauled by a were-creature.  He survived the attack, but after he recovered  he learned that he had also become infected and was becoming a were-creature himself.  His community shunned him and he was left to deal with the changes alone.  He kept a diary of sorts, documenting the trials he endured, and I’m hoping to find useful information in them to help understand the problems your dealing with.  I’m in the process of translating, but it’s slow going, so it will take me a while.

        “With what little I have worked through I think I may have found something that could help.  In the beginning this desert nomad fought against his changes, but later on he discovered a balance between his animal side and human side.  He goes on to describe once he accepted being a were-creature he had more control over himself and the union between his two aspects unleashed a hidden well of strength.  I’m not too sure what exactly the last part meant, but the fact that he learned to control himself was what was most important.â€�

        “So what is it you want me to try and do?â€�

       â€œI want you to stop fighting yourself.  You need to change how you view and think about yourself as a werewolf, and to accept it.  Being a werewolf isn’t a good thing or a bad thing, it just is.â€�

       â€œBut I do accept it,â€� Sean protested.  He removed his jacket, shirt, and slipped off his shoes just in case he got so far into a transformation and ruined those articles of clothing.  The sweat pants he was wearing were elastic enough where he was fairly certain they would stretch to accommodate his larger form, but just in case he had brought spare clothes which were stored in the backpack he carried here.  The air still held enough of a chill to make it where it felt uncomfortable if he stayed undressed for long, so he tucked his arms in close to his body keeping as much of its warmth as he could.

        “Do you really?â€� Tara questioned him, letting Sean know she thought otherwise.

        Sean sighed and looked downward disbelieving Tara’s doubt.  He already did accept himself being a werewolf; after all there was no way he could deny it.  He allowed himself to change on a somewhat regular basis, because in so doing it gave him more control over deciding when he became a werewolf as opposed to the beast deciding for him.

        “Humor me in this, and let’s try it any way.  Even if you do believe you reached that state of acceptance, maybe there’s something else going on that you don’t realize and with my help we can find out what it is.

        “For right now here’s what I want you to do, relax yourself and try to reach a calm place.  As you do so I’m going to softly whisper suggestions to encourage you to change and to trust your wolf nature.  Don’t focus on what I’m saying; just let it blend into the background like white noise and think of nothing else other than surrendering yourself to your inner nature.  Don’t resist it even in the slightest.  Let the change flow around and over you like water while you remain calm.  Let it happen naturally.â€�

        Tara’s voice got quieter as she continued until it became nothing more than a barely audible sound.  Sean was used to meditating from hours and hours of practicing while living at his uncle’s manor, so he had no difficulty finding a quiet calm place within his own mind.  Once there he felt the urge to transform already waiting for him.  He could feel the animal inside impatiently waiting to envelope his flesh and mind, and steal a few moments of freedom.  It was there prowling back and forth in the darkness, anticipating the moment Sean relinquished control of his physical self so that the beast could take over.

        Sean could sense the animal suddenly stop it’s pacing and he felt the intensity of it scrutinizing him from within.  It knew something was different this time around.  Sean wasn’t fading away like he normally did.  He remained as he carefully lowered his barriers, removing all obstacles except himself.  This time the spirit of his inner wolf would have to pass through him if it wanted out.

        He removed the final barrier and fully expected the thing in the shadows to come leaping through him.  Sean had to struggle to keep his fear in check and he latched on to Tara’s distant voice for strength and resolve.  He had never invoked a transformation in this way before, and the possibilities of what could happen started to leak out of his imagination.

        Sean took a deep breath and centered himself again.  He flushed his surface thoughts clean and allowed his doubts to disappear with them.  Once again he found his inner self standing before the raw force of power he always kept buried in the recesses of his mind.  The beast didn’t move.  It could sense the change in the normal routine and it showed restraint, despite its overwhelming urge to charge out of its dark hole and be freed.  Cautiously, the thing circled, keeping its unwavering focus on Sean the whole time.  He could feel the built up energy of the change slowly make a circuit throughout his entire body, looking for release, but not quite ready yet.

        After it completed its examination it stopped right where it had started, and stayed there for some unknown length of time.  It could’ve been seconds, minutes, or even hours.  Sean had no idea.  The place his awareness was at was like a dream and time held no meaning in this realm. 

        Slowly the monster crept out of the shadows and moved suspiciously closer to where Sean waited.  The beast didn’t understand why things were different.  It knew that they just were and it advanced with a measure of concern.  Sean had a sense of the werewolf inside him approaching until it finally touched him lightly, as though it was experimenting with something it didn’t quite trust.  Slowly, like watching the seconds of a clock tick by, Sean could feel the raw undiluted energy of the werewolf sink into his mind, body and soul. 

        He took a deep breath and let the energy that had been dammed up behind his walls of control expand from within.  He felt the temperature of his skin all over heat up like he was surrounded by fire from every direction.  Then a flood of tingling encompassed his skin everywhere from his head down to his feet.  It was similar to his arm having fallen asleep, and afterwards when the blood recirculated his skin would feel like little pins and needles poking at it.  In this case, however, it was happening all over his body, and little white hairs were steadily sprouting and growing in length and thickness.

        Gradually his mouth began to swell as his teeth grew and took their time in reshaping themselves into something much sharper.  His face felt like it was melting with all of its features beginning the process of reshaping and sliding about.  A small amount of pressure also built up behind his eyes, and he recognized the familiarity of them shifting to a more enhanced state.

        Sean could feel the transformation creep and crawl across his skin and insides.  He had never changed so slowly before, nor had he remained conscious this far into the process.  He could feel his skin tighten and stretch as his muscles took on more mass.  There was also stiffness in his joints and bones and he thought he could even see the starting process of his limbs elongating. 

        Everything felt so surreal and there was a sense of being disconnected from his body.  Strangely enough he could still feel some of the discomfort, but at least there wasn’t any of the pain normally normally associated with the change.  A small part of him started to harbor a glimmer of hope that whatever Tara was doing was actually helping and he might even succeed in remaining in control of himself after fully becoming a werewolf.

        Sean went to take a deep breath, but suddenly found his throat was constricted and he couldn’t get sufficient air into his lungs.  Something was wrong and a well of panic erupted from within.  For a split second his consciousness hung on the hinges of dread and his werewolf persona sensed Sean’s fear. 

        Abruptly he plummeted into an overwhelming flood of terror and pain, as he wrestled for control over his body.  Sean’s physical form was assaulted relentlessly with torrents of burning energy and he could feel himself drowning in the onslaught as the werewolf inside of him savagely dominated his spirit.  Despite the ferocious attack from within Sean desperately fought against it.  Fear for the existence of his own identity drove him forward and he threw every fiber of his being into regaining his human form and shoving the beast back into its prison.

        White hairs appeared and disappeared all over his body feeling like millions of tiny little stingers flooding his nerve endings with sharp agony.  His muscles everywhere bubbled up and deflated constantly, igniting his raw nerves with an even greater depth of torture.  He could hear the vibration of his bones and joints popping and cracking while random parts of him changed from werewolf to human and back again.

       Sean’s awareness of himself came and went several times and all he could make out through the haze of his torment was that he was thrashing about on the ground while Tara was desperately screaming at him to do something, but whatever it was his mind was too far gone to process her instructions.  He was becoming exhausted from the unyielding power of his inner beast and he started to doubt that he’d be able to prevail against its monstrous strength.  From the edges of his consciousness, where it bordered the thoughts of his werewolf persona, he could sense it blaming Tara for the horror it was being forced to endure.  It wanted to taste her blood flowing freely across its tongue as compensation for its suffering.
   
        At that moment Sean realized that he wasn’t only fighting for himself, but Tara’s life was in jeopardy if he failed.  The very thought of her death being the result of him loosing loosing the struggle gripped him with a chilling fear that washed over his skin and renewed his will to overcome the beast.  Sean picked up the fight once more and held onto the mantle of control for the sake of his new friend.  Nothing else was more important to him than saving her.

        He was so far gone he had no idea of his surroundings except for a defiant, screaming roar that he released from the depths of his powerful lungs.  The beast’s resolve was shaken loose and Sean didn’t hesitate for a moment to use his opportunity to beat it back into submission.  It didn’t return willingly and Sean continued to push and shove until he was in control of himself again.

        The werewolf left him with a broken and deformed body in the process of painfully reshaping itself back into a human appearance.  Sean’s body was lathered in sweat.  Dirt and leaves clung to him from where had rolled across the ground and the sweat pants he’d been wearing were nothing more than strips of ribbon hanging from the elastic around his waist.  A fatigue, greater than anything he had ever known, sunk deeply into him, reaching to the core of his bones.  Keeping his eyes open felt like it required more strength than he had and he let them close.  Sean had won, and that was all he needed to do.  Sleep swept over him before he could take another breath.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Okay, I’ve got a couple of questions for those of you willing to give me some of your constructive criticism.  First, what did you think of the magic ritual that Tara had constructed?  Was it written all right?  Did you not like it?  Share with me your thoughts.

Also with the dialogue I tried not including in each paragraph who it was specifically talking.  I was hoping that would increase the flow of the conversation and since it was only two characters present I was hoping it wouldn’t be confusing.  So, my question is did you at any time feel confused as to who was speaking?

My last question I feel is the most obvious one… what did you think of Sean’s struggle to remain in control of his human form?

If you’re wondering when you’ll get to see him go through a full transformation it will be happening soon in about five more posts.  I can’t wait until I complete it and post it for you all.

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-05-18 04:40:17)

*Hands ST a wide glass of milk for dunking cookies in, and a platter full of chocolate chip cookies with macadamia nuts*

Thank you mrRW, I greatly appreciate your comments.  It reinforces my sense of being on the right track with how I'm writing, and I'm also glad you enjoyed it as well.

Thank you!!! Love the new addition to the story and the transformation scene kills me cause I want to know what is going to happen. The dialogue was not confusing in the least, in fact it felt natural. Mr rw had it pretty well covered but I did notice a repeated word somewhere in it. Ugh it's loosing in the third paragraph from the bottom. Shadowwolf, I love the fact that you two both envy eachother in some way or another, the least I can say is that a collaboration effort would be interesting.

Can't wait for more! (cookies)

Jonathan Hershberg once said "Good writing is rewriting". If you feel a segment is not what you wish it to be, then by all means, re-shape it, re-form it. A writers words are his stone, his imagination, his chisel. Your story has taken an absolutely beautiful idea and formed it perfectly. I can only hope I can get such good character development.

The only suggestion I have is an extremely minor one which is in regards to this line by Tara:

“What kind of BS is that!?� Tara hissed her words angrily, trying to maintain a whisper. “I know for a fact something more happened in that alley way and either someone is covering it up or my elders are trying to keep me in the dark, or maybe both, but either way it’s made me feel like I can’t trust them anymore.

It may make this scene more tense and fraught with emotion if that "what kind of BS is that" line is removed and instead cutting right to "I know for a fact something more happened."

I imagine this interaction with Tara to be about as tense as a strung out piano wire, where she is fighting herself as much as she is fighting the ideas she has to face. I also for some reason imagine her voice shaking a little bit, both with anger and little bit of unease or fear.

Again, another greaat segment!

Last edited by ShadowWolf2010 (2010-05-18 09:10:01)

Anytime my friend!

Last night I wound up having my hands full at work, but I did manage to get a page and a half into the next chapter.  Hopefully tonight will be a free night and I can knock out the next part for us   I'm really hoping it comes out well.  I've been looking forward to getting to this pivotal point in the story.  It's been a struggle for me to develop, and it's something I wrestled with before I even completed my first chapter. 

The next scene/chapter should be completed in three segments (I'm estimating), if you don't count the part where Chris uses her telepathic ability (with Tara's guidance) on Sean as a dividing scene.  They all get to take a walk down memory lane and discover the truth of what really happened in the alley.  This also gives Tara a better idea of what might be threatening them, and what they potentially will have to deal with.  This chapter also ends with at least Tara witnessing Sean's transformation on his own.  I'm not sure yet, but I think it'll be without him being aware of it.  It's taken this long, because I wanted the transformation to be viewed/interpreted through someone else's eyes, and Tara is great character for that.

I'm off to work.  I'll have something for you all late tonight.

Bit late in commenting but I think the last segment works really well and flows nicely.  I wouldnt change it but then Im not you so Im going to hop on board  w/Shad's statement and leave it in your capable hands.

Upcoming scenes sound great btw!

Chapter 11


        She sat at the kitchen table with Dawn and Sean pretending to smile at the joke Dawn had just told in an attempt to cheer her up.  Dawn knew Tara was unhappy about something, and without understanding, she was doing her best to put her friend in a better mood.  Dawn trusted that Tara would talk to her when she was ready, like she promised, but like any good friend she wasn’t going to let her sit there and be consumed by whatever depressing thoughts possessed her.

        There was a large bowl on the table with some remaining turkey salad Dawn had whipped up using what was left over from the holiday feast.  She had sliced some celery and parsley, sprinkled some pepper and salt over the shreds of turkey, and mixed it all with mayonnaise.  There was a spoon in the bowl she had been using to scoop and spread it across slices of whole wheat bread to make sandwiches.  Judging by the missing slices from the loaf in the bag, it looked as though she had made seven or more and Sean had eaten the majority of them.  Tara had one on a plate in front of her with only a couple of bites taken, and she forced herself to pick it up and nibble a little more.  She knew she ought to be hungrier considering she hadn’t eaten anything for lunch or dinner, but it was difficult to work up an appetite while her mind was preoccupied with the situation she faced.

        Moments before she found Chris heading into the bathroom to take a shower.  Before she closed the door she told her to meet them in the kitchen when she was finished, because she had something very important to discuss with all of them.  Chris had asked her if she was all right, and Tara shocked herself as much as Chris when she told her honestly that she wasn’t.  Chris’ brow wrinkled with suspicion and concern, but before she could say something else Tara told her not to worry and that she would wait for her to join them before she said anything.

        Roughly a minute ago she heard the water stop running through the pipes in the wall near the main bathroom, and she knew Chris would be walking into the kitchen soon.  The knots in her stomach clenched tighter and she could feel her body protesting against the little bit of food she had already swallowed.  Tara put the sandwich back down on the plate and hid her hands in her lap.  They were starting to shake and she didn’t want to make Dawn any more alarmed than she already was. 

        Sean eyed Tara with a knowing look and she figured he knew what was coming.  He remained calm and even gave her the suggestion of a nod as a form of encouragement.  She tried to draw confidence from his relaxed composure, but her emotions and thoughts swirled about her like a chaotic storm making it hard to collect herself.

        Tara felt completely out of her element.  Usually she was the one who was cool headed and steered herself and her friends in the right direction, even if they weren’t aware of it.  She always had a plan and knew what had to be done.  But, now she was in a position where she felt like the future was uncertain, and fear for what lay ahead clouded her judgment.  Tara didn’t know how her friends were going to respond when she revealed to them the truth she had been hiding from them for so long, and her insides were trembling with anxiety at the anticipation.

        It didn’t take long for Chris to emerge out of the hallway and join them in the kitchen.  Tara and Sean were sitting at the table while Dawn was standing at the counter of the kitchen island making another sandwich.  Chris was wearing plain sweat pants and a white tee shirt with a towel draped around the back of her neck in case her hair was still too damp.  Her short blond hair stuck up in random directions, and she was either oblivious to it or didn’t care.  She always displayed a strong level of confidence and that added to the attractiveness of her wild look and unique style.

        She walked over to where Dawn stood and was offered one of the extra sandwiches.  Chris took a plate and held it below her chin to catch any crumbs as she took a big bite and leaned back against the counter, apparently keeping her distance from Sean.  During the car ride here it seemed as though she was improving how she got along with Sean, and was actually talking to him like a regular guy.  But then after their first night something had happened to reinforce her dislike for him, and now her reaction was more severe than it had been before.

        Nobody talked and Tara could feel the obvious weight of their expectation suffocating the room.  Tara’s hands were starting to shake worse than before and her anxiety compelled her to stand up in order to dispense the nervous energy rather than allow herself to begin fidgeting.  She folded her arms and tucked her hands tightly under them so no one else would see how she was shaking and leaned against the side of the bench she was just sitting on.  She knew it was critical to demonstrate confidence, because she was about to turn their world upside down, some more than others, and she predicted that they were going to look toward her as a source of stability. She exerted her will on caging her fears and doubts and forced herself to get her thoughts organized in a manner she could best explain to her friends so she could convince them and not seem like a lunatic.

        “Well, Tara, what did you want to talk to us about?â€� Chris asked her trying to jump start things.

        Tara was staring at the floor and took a deep breath.  The time was now.  She had to face the deception she led Dawn and Chris to believe, and hope after everything was said and done they wouldn’t hold it against her.  She couldn’t afford to think about the consequences she was going to cause for herself right now.  That would be another matter she’d deal with later and she tried to forget about it for the time being.

        She looked up at her two friends standing across from her, waiting to hear what kind of confession she was about to give.  Chris held herself steady and nonchalantly took another bite of her sandwich while Dawn contrasted her by standing still and focusing completely on her.

        “I have something very important to tell all of you,â€� Tara began, “and I’m deeply afraid of how you’re going to receive this.â€�

        “Oh, no!â€� Chris exclaimed, and her face suddenly went slack. “You have terminal cancer and only a few months left to live.â€�

        “What?!â€� Tara responded, with her face contorting in confusion. “No!â€�

        “Then what ever you have to say can’t be that bad,â€� Chris consoled her. “Just go ahead and tell us, and we’ll cope with it.â€�

        Some nervous laughter escaped Tara and she closed her eyes shaking her head in disbelief. “Leave it to you Chris to help take the edge off of a tense moment.  Thank you.â€� She was glad to feel some of the tension leave her shoulders and neck, and it made the dreaded moment a little more bearable.

        Tara sobered up quickly and started again. “This isn’t easy for me to discuss, because I haven’t exactly been completely truthful with you.  And I’m scared my deception might cause a big rift between us.â€�

        She paused and stared at them trying to figure out what to say next.  They both looked back with their attention completely focused on her patiently waiting to hear what she had to say.

        “I’m not entirely who you think I am.â€� Chris started to open her mouth, but Tara quickly held up a hand and stalled her before she could speak. “Please, Chris, before you make another smart comment let me just say everything first, and then you can have at it, but for right now I just need you to hear me out, okay?â€�

        Chris nodded her head and looked at Tara with understanding.

        “I don’t know how else to say this without sounding crazy, so please try to suspend your beliefs and listen to what I have to say before you form an opinion

        “The world is not a simple place, and I’m sure you’ve heard of the saying that there’s more under heaven and on earth than what can be explained.  Well, I’m telling you those words are true and there’s a whole other side of existence that most people aren’t even aware of.  The supernatural is real and in many cases it has found ways to blend in with our everyday life.  People have come to accept it and aren’t even aware of what’s under their noses.

        “I happen to be part of that world too.  I’m what most people call a spellcaster and I have the capabilities of a Wizard, and before you even think it,â€� she stared at Chris who blinked back at her with innocent eyes, “I’m more than just a street magician using sleight of hand and misdirection making people believe magic is real.  It is real, and I can do some pretty amazing things with it too.â€�

        “If what you’re saying is true,â€� Chris said, attempting to keep her voice as neutral as possible, “then I don’t suppose you’d mind doing something to convince us, would you?â€�

        “I’ll get to that in a moment, but first I have more I need to tell you.â€�

        Tara steeled herself and looked directly at Dawn.  She could see the slightest hint of her eyes opening wider and something told her that in her heart she knew Tara was about to tell her something that would change her life forever.

        “I know you won’t fully understand the danger in all of this,â€� Tara thought to herself, “but I hope you’ll be able to forgive me when you do.â€�

        “Dawn, I’m your Guardian, and you’re not completely human.â€�

        Dawn’s mouth parted so she could get a lung full of air quicker.  She hadn’t been aware she was holding her breath until now, and as she exhaled she asked, “What do you mean I’m not human?  I’ve been normal my whole life.  There’s nothing different about me.â€�

        “Just trust me on this for right now, and hear me out.  I have a lot more to say.â€�

        Dawn closed her mouth and went back to giving Tara that same worried look she had started out with when Tara had initiated this strange conversation.

        “You’re what is known as a nephlim.â€�

        “What’s that?â€� Chris asked immediately.

        “It’s a person that’s part angel and part human,â€� Sean spoke.  His voice startled all of them, and they had almost forgotten that he was there quietly listening to all of this.

        “What!?â€� Chris said in surprise. “You told him but not us?â€�

        Before Tara could object, Sean quickly interjected. “No, she didn’t.  This is the first I’m hearing any of this too.â€�

        “Then how do you know what a nephlim is?â€�

        “My uncle taught me,â€� he answered Chris. “There are a lot of strange and bizarre creatures out there, and as halfbreeds go there are worse things you could be.  If Tara says you’re a nephlim then I believe her.â€�

        Chris’ expression was strained with disbelief and she looked back and forth between Tara and Sean. “And what are you supposed to be, some kind of monster pretending to be human?â€�

        “Actually, he’s a werewolf,â€� Tara said with a brief glance in Sean’s direction.

        Sean leaned back in the bench he was sitting at and looked up at the ceiling with an exaggerated sigh. “Ooookay, I guess I should’ve seen that one coming.  I didn’t know you were going to tell them about me too, but I guess I should’ve figured on it.  I mean, you had no reservations telling…â€�

        “Sean!â€� Tara shot him a warning look, keeping him from finishing his sentence. “Dawn’s the innocent one here.  The rest of us are the ones that have been hiding what we really are.â€�

        “Alright, where’s the camera?â€� Chris asked nervously, looking around the room expecting it to be a stupid prank.

        “It’s not a joke Chris,â€� Tara said seriously.

        “Why are you having a harder time believing this than Dawn?â€� Sean questioned. “I would’ve thought that you’d be easier to convince since you’re a telepath and all.â€�

        She stared at Sean in astonishment as though he had just betrayed her.  Then her eyes narrowed and she shot him a deadly look promising him some kind of retribution.

        Tara sensed the beginnings of this revelation getting out of hand and she had to take control of the conversation before it led to something worse.

        “Chris, I knew about it too,â€� she told her, and she averted her gaze in her direction.  Tara observed the desired effect of the lines on Chris’ face softening.

        “I don’t know why you’re acting so shocked,â€� Sean persisted. “It’s not like you’ve been using your talent discreetly the way you go about looking into the minds of whomever you feel like.â€�
   
        Chris redirected her gaze back on Sean, and the angry look returned.

        “That’s enough you two!â€� Tara intervened more forcefully. “I don’t know what has gotten into the both of you and why you seem to insist on starting with each other, but now’s not the time.  We can settle this latter after you’ve all heard what I need to tell you first.  If you can’t keep yourselves civil then at least refrain from speaking.â€�

        Tara looked at both of them dismayed at their behavior and the unnecessary confusion they were presenting Dawn.  She was very upset with Sean, and expected him to be more understanding with the whole situation.  She promised herself that when this was done she was going to get to the bottom of their issues, but for right now she had to push all of this aside and make them aware of what was really important.

        Dawn hadn’t said anything since she asked what a nephlim was, and Tara worried about what she was thinking.  She almost wished she had Chris’ talent to see into her mind, but even if she did it wasn’t something she’d likely do anyway.  She didn’t condone how liberal Chris was with her telepathy, but she also suspected that it wasn’t something she could effectively control.

        “There’s more I need to tell you, so please don’t say anything else until I’m finished.â€� Tara directed her statement at Chris and Sean before she moved on.

        “The fact that I’m revealing all of this to you means I’m going to pay a price for it, but that’s something I can deal with later.  What’s really important is that you understand why I’ve been Dawn’s guardian, and what precisely I’m protecting her from.

        “Before Dawn existed there was a prophecy about a nephlim that would one day be born, and with that nephlim would rest the fate of all mankind.  There have been many before you, Dawn, but Three days before you came to me, all across the world Divinators, psychics, and anyone else halfway decent at predicting the future saw powerful visions associated with that prophecy, and many of them have not been the same because of it.

        “I had a friend who was very gifted in the art of divination and her eyes were forever altered by the visions she saw.  She was fortunate to have survived the incident with only that affliction.  There were many others that lost their minds or took their lives, and out of the few that kept their sanity nearly none of them wanted to speak of what they saw.

        “After that tragedy you were given to me by woman claiming to be an angel and she made me swear on my immortal soul to serve and protect you no matter what.  I was very skeptical of her at the time and I thought she was not only desperate, but crazy as well.  I can’t describe what I saw after that in a way for you to understand, but let it suffice that the manner in which she departed left no doubt in my mind to the validity of what she was.

        “Ever since that day I have done everything in my power to uphold my anointed position and I have served you to the best of my ability.  One of the most effective ways I’ve been able to do so was to keep your existence a secret.  There are many people and other things that would kill you if they had the slightest inclination as to who you are and what your fate entails, but I’ve learned if such premature actions were taken then there would be no hope for life.

        “The reason you’ve never heard anything about this until now is because of the few people who’ve known of your existence hoped keeping you in the dark about everything to do with supernatural would help prevent you from manifesting.  Then perhaps the dreaded prophecy many believe you to be associated with would never come to pass.  I was charged with the awful responsibility to shield you from discovering the part of the world I’m from, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for lying to you and keeping so many secrets from you, but the least I can say is that I’m sorry.â€�

        An unexpected well of guilt started to overflow inside of Tara and her vision instantly blurred with the building up of tears.  She abruptly brought the sleeve of her sweater up to her face and wiped away any traces of the shame she felt.  She sniffled and rubbed her nose before she reclaimed her composure once more.

        “Tara…,â€� Dawn started to say, but she stopped when Tara lifted her hand to indicate she wasn’t done yet.

        “Wait.  I only have a little more left I have to explain.



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had a couple of computer issues I wasn't able to fix until just recently, so I didn't get this post in when I wanted to.  In addition I also debated whether or not to throw it up here because the scene is not yet completed and the conversation is still in the process of working itself out in this revealing situation.  If you think what Tara has made known up to this point seems a little far fetched or cheesy, go ahead and say so.  But if you are of that opinion, reevaluate everything after the scene is completed. 

Like I said before this scene is critical to the story because it reveals some vital points to what will drive the plot forward not only in this book but the next couple of books after this one.  I also must admit that there are a few finer points that I know exist, but I can't quite put my finger on at the moment, and I may have to come back to this scene to include them in someway.  Of course, if I do, I'll give you guys a heads up, and I'll point it out to so you don't have to go searching for it if you feel so inclined. 

For the most part I I've got the scene to where I want it to be.  So far I really enjoy the way Chris tried to initially lighten the mood in the beginning and some of the attitude that has been displayed by Sean and Chris.  I have a lot of fun typing things out like this, because I don't fully know what my characters are going to say until I'm actually typing it out.  It's like there are aspects of them living inside of me and when the time comes for them to speak that's when their words flow through my finger tips onto the keyboard and into the story.  It's such a cool feeling and difficult to describe, but I love it.

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-05-21 20:41:41)

awesome segments dude!!! keep writing or ill have a seizure!! post more soon!! ummm... i like the hostility between Sean and Chris, but it could use a little more believability, almost like siblings, and when you introduce the idea that Dawn is a Nephilim, there in that area I would advise more on adding emphasis on the disbelief of Dawn and Chris when Tara say's  “You’re what is known as a Nephlim.â€� I would advise adding more to what she says before that to make the idea of Dawn being Nephilim more surprising and it also adds to the anticipation of the reader so that the reader will feel more satisfied with the end result, and will be slightly surprised by it too, possibly switch to Seans point of view for a second to show what goes through his mind when he hears that Dawn is a Nephilim. AND THAT IS ABOUT IT...

Thank you Clair for those suggestions.  I’m pretty sure I will go back and reword things slightly, and perhaps try and show a little more body language in the scene to help keep the dialogue from becoming too stale.  I know as I was typing the scene I couldn’t decide on how Tara was going to break it to them.  It was easy for me to imagine being in her shoes with her thoughts clouded over with the anxious and nervous feelings she had.  At the time it felt right for her to just spill the truth and try and take it from there.  Once I had her talking I felt more and more information pouring out and now I have to try and organize it out in an outline to make sure all the essentials are explained and to give my other characters a chance to respond to Tara’s shocking revelation.

I think the scene could use a little more leading in to the fact that Dawn is an nephlim and I want to include a little more shock factor from Dawn and Chris, but Tara is trying to get everything out first before trying to deal with their questions, and before they have a chance for the truth to set in and judge her.  Her telling them this changes everything for Tara, and she fears how they’re going to view her afterwards.  She’s afraid of losing the only two people she’s ever really felt close enough to call true friends.  In addition she’s also afraid of how this calculated decision of hers is going to affect her future in the Arcanus and what sort of possible retribution her actions will incur.  The latter she’s trying to push to the back of her mind to deal with afterwards, right now she’s concentrating on what she needs to do to prepare and protect her friends.

I like the interaction between Sean and Chris as well.  I think it adds an extra dimension to their relationship.  At this point Chris is still afraid of Sean, perhaps more so now than before, since after the hallway incident where she tried to forcefully eavesdrop on his mind.  Her fear of him comes from her subconscious.  She knows he saved her from her assailants in the alley way, but she also fears that he did something horrible to   her attackers.  She doesn’t know for sure what happened.  It’s just a gnawing feeling that she has about him, and she tries to deny that what she feels is fear.

Don’t worry Clair, I’ll post more soon.  I’m hoping to get another segment in by Friday night, which I know won’t be soon enough.  Trust me I’m as eager to get it written as you are to read it and find out what  happens next.

You know something, Stoic, it does feel like we have covered quite a distance since the beginning.  I also agree with you on the complexity of the story as well.  It’s taken me a great deal of time and forethought on how to combine all the different supernatural elements and essential story parts that drive this epic tale forward.  It hasn’t been easy and there were times when it took me months to figure out how to introduce these four main characters to each other as well as other details to the story plot and what direction to take it all in.  I’ll tell  you right now, it’s not much of a spoiler, but by the time I have the second book completed there will be so many different directions I can take this story, and a colorful cast of characters (like Viasa) in which separate stories can be written about.

I recently had a new reader start to work her way through chapter one and she told me how much she enjoys it so far.  On the other hand I’m very critical of the first chapter and I hate how much I’ve narrated it instead of using action to advance the story.  I warned her about that too and told her if she felt it dragged on to try and look at it with a forgiving eye.  I was surprised when she told me the other day how much she’s enjoyed the first chapter so far (she’s not done reading it yet) and she commented that she likes how I’ve explained a lot of things so far.  I was pleasantly surprised and it increased the value in my own eyes the level of detail I’m trying to include in this story.  It’s certainly there.  I have a lot of things written down, explained and specifically defined.  It’s been one heck of a chore trying to get the finer points straight and figuring out how to present in an understandable fashion, and I don’t even feel like I’m fully done yet.  The meat of the story is there, but it’s an evolving process, almost as though the characters have a life of their own.

In my notes when I first plotted this scene by writing out the dialogue and brief description of the character’s action and the scenery, it certainly didn’t begin the way my last post went.  The essence of the scene is there but what the characters know at this point and what I projected they would be like a year and a half ago are quite different.

I know I’m carrying on a bit (as I seem to like doing, sorry), but I wanted to at least acknowledge your comments and to let you all know how much I appreciate them.  As I’ve said before, your compliments and critiques inspire me, and it all contributes to making this story a better one. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Now I best continue to apply my time to getting more of the story written for you guys.

And Shadow I promise I'll make time to get caught up on your story and give  you some useful feedback