Wow! Second Person Narrative! Very rare and intriguing POV choice! Cool!
  I really appreciated your story, as it tells the reader what they are feeling and what they are going through, as well as if they like it or not. It forces the reader to acknowledge these feelings, even if they believe that they would never think, feel, or do that. It adds a bit of an inescapable disturbance to the narrative. It's a nice choice!

  It's a little heard to read without skipping a line between each paragraph, but I managed. The only thing toward inaccuracy that I may encourage you to change is the bit about the bone snapping backwards. It sounds like you're trying to describe the knee bending backwards to a new shape, and I would encourage you to refrain from that idea. This topic will explain why:
http://forum.werewolfcafe.com/viewtopic.php?id=3641

  Of course, that may not be what the bone snapping backwards is referring to, in which case adding a little more detail to the scenario may result in an even more chilling TF sequence. However, it's up to you.

  Regardless of such opinionated comments, your story is a wonderful read and does a great job with an ominous, fateful tone. Good job on this one, Vancariad!

Last edited by Grayle (2008-09-25 16:27:06)

Here is the irst part of the "new and inproved version of the story" with the knee-thing changed.  I wish Kesler Ovid were real...


The Curse of the Wolf


It has been five years since that night that made me what I am today.  Its consequences have given me great strengths and weaknesses.  It was like a rebirth into the world of the dark supernatural.   



I walked through the deserted forest, guided by the luminous full moon that hung low in the sky.  The light was dim, and I could only see the shapes of the obstacles around me.  I heard an ominous howl in the distance that sent my heart into a drum roll, but still I trekked mindlessly on. 

As I traveled, the moon rose in the sky.  I sensed movement to my right and spun to face it.  Suddenly, something tapped my shoulder.  I spun around once again.  Staring me in the face was a demon found in the fears of the most imaginative children, the stories of the most twisted writers.  Its humanoid body was covered with thick, glossy fur.  Its muzzle was dripping with blood.  Razor sharp claws hung from its paws.  It remained in the shadows, so it was impossible to tell what exactly it was.

I told my legs to run, but Fear’s paralyzing breath had grasped them it its death hold.  My senses went haywire with a preys instinct, from this creature came a pungent odour of feral filth.  The smell filled my nose like a swarm of ants, pushing its way into the deepest crevasses of my mind.

The creature stepped into the moonlight and I gasped, for I beheld a creature of old myths, a creature that science had known to be fake!  A werewolf.  I shuddered in my skin as the beast lowered its head towards me.  The monster was huge, at least eight feet tall, so it had to kneel to reach my face.

“Pathetic human, I shall not kill you.â€� it rasped as I sighed in relief, “Instead, I shall bestow a curse upon you that will haunt you and torture you for the rest of your life.â€�  It chuckled evilly.  The chuckle sounded like a rotting tree groaning as it tips towards the ground.  Still grasped by Terror’s cold claws, I groaned as the dagger-like teeth sunk slowly and agonizingly into my arm.  The werewolf’s glimmering eyes swirled into a whirlpool of madness as my mind succumbed to complete darkness.

When I awoke the shift of the full moon suggested that it had been around two hours.  A tingling swept over my body as I saw brown-red fur poke through my skin, itching like beetles crawling through my flesh.  The agonizing torture soon subsided, only to be replaced by an incredible pain in my legs.  The bone seemed to morph into a new shape which protruded backwards.  I cried out in pain, but my voice turned into a screeching howl.  My nails grew and curved into claws of terrifying sharpness.  My nose elongated painfully into a stout muzzle.  In one explosion of horror, my senses exploded into a tornado of pure scent, sight, sound, and feeling.  Finally, as the change was complete, I felt euphoria, a puppy-like happiness and joy of being alive.

The full moon above me was my goddess, and I howled a prayer to her, for tonight marked the night of my first hunt.  The moon made it seem as bright as day with my new sight.  The smells of the forest wafted inside my nose, an explosion of prey smells.  Normal wolves that had marked their territory, bunnies had burrowed, and quail had trekked through this clearing.  No, this night marked a special occasion.  The only food fit for tonight would be human.  My tongue lolled and I drooled at the thought of fresh blood and meat from a delicious, sweet human.  I wanted to rip the life from a soul and cast it, lost, into the Netherworld.

I started running, the newfound energy rippled through my muscles.  Suddenly, I stopped.  In the clearing behind some trees I saw a lone human, crouching by his fire with a hotdog on a stick.  I decided to let this pathetic creature enjoy his last dinner, and then I would strike.  The human quickly devoured his meal, and I emerged from the shrubbery to take mine.  A terrifying half-man and half-wolf was beheld by my next meal. 

The terror on his face mirrored what I remembered of my own, and I felt a flash of pity.  The feeling disappeared as I descended on my victim.  I wrenched at his neck and red blood spurted out.  The man screeched a death warble as I ripped flesh from his ribs.  He sighed with the echoing rattle of a dying breath, a breath that will not escape my own lips for at least a century. 

The blood and flesh morphed into the ideal of Nectar and Ambrosia on my tongue, and I collapsed in a ball on the pile of clean, white bones to enjoy the warmth of the fire.  The next morning I awoke, human again with the coppery taste of blood on my teeth.  I was naked and had an overwhelming sense of power.  The ground around me was stained scarlet; it seemed like the red soil of Australia.  I found a flare in the pack of the human I devoured, and climbed a large hill as to be far from the scene of the crime.  I fired the flare and again fell into the caverns of sleep.

I woke to find myself in a hospital bed.  A nurse tapped quietly on a keyboard across the room.  She turned at the sound of my gasp and ran to get the doctors.  I took my chance to escape into the city.  ‘That old wolf was wrong!  I will not be tortured by this power! World, behold a lone wolf that you will learn to fear!’ I thought as I walked onto the grimy sidewalk of a new life.




I quickly developed control of this new power, and was able to shift into my wolf-self at any time.  When I was the wolf, I had complete control over my actions, except on the full moon.  On the full moon, it was mandatory for me to shift, and my instincts controlled my actions.  All was well for me until I decided to show my family.


It had been ten months since the first shift, and I hadn’t devoured any humans besides the inevitable kill of the full moon.  I decided it was time to show my family may dark and dangerous secret.  My mother, father, and younger sister, who had came straight from her University, sat at the dinner table staring at me curiously.  My unusually rare steak stayed uneaten on my plate, staring me down like an abandoned dog from the SPCA.  I stood and addressed my family,

“Do not be frightened by what I am about to show you,â€� I began, “I will tell you now that I will have complete control over myself.â€�  I backed away from the table, and opened my eyes which had been squeezed shut in concentration.  They were yellow and fiery like a mad wolf’s.  I watched as the colour drained from the faces of my family members.  My canine teeth grow rapidly and the rest of my teeth become unusually sharp.  My knees snap backward with a sickening crunch.  Fur sprouted from every space on my body, and my mouth stretched smoothly forward.  My ears became larger and swung to the top of my head.  Within seconds, the transformation was complete.

“Mum, Dad, Sula, it’s still me!  I’m just in another form.â€�  I rasp as they star at me, speechless and in terror.  After a moment of this paralysis, my father grabbed his steak knife and wielded it as if it was a sword.  I blinked in confusion.  I had told them it was still me, hadn’t I?  I tried a different approach; my father knew dog body language quite well, so I went belly-up like a pup to an elder.  It was my fathers turn to blink.  He turned to my mother and sister and told them to run.  It was time for plan C; I slowly began to morph back into my regular self, and my father’s face softened.  Still wielding the knife in his hand he backed slowly towards the front door.  I knew it was only a matter of time before he called the police.




I guess this would be the right time to update you on who I am, and the life behind it.  My name is Kessler Ovid.  I used to be an Astronomer, oh the irony of a werewolves life.  The moon goddess picked me as her subject for a reason.  I had an average childhood and adult life, until that fateful night when fate hunted me down with razor teeth and made me what I am today.  I’ve lived alone in my house with my two dogs for five years, that is, until the night I revealed myself to my parents, and was forced to flee.

It was three hours after my parents had deserted me that I heard the yell at the door,
“
Police!  Open up or we’ll come in by force,â€� this was accompanied by three abrupt and forceful knocks.

“We have reason to believe that there is a dangerous individual living in this abode!â€� came the rough and official voice.  I heaved myself stiffly towards the door, waiting for it to blast open.  I faced the door like a bull about to charge and shifted into my wolf-self.  I roared, preparing for battle as the change was complete.  The roar startled the police and they charged through my door, only to face the most terrorizing thing in the world, a vision that would stay in their minds until their lives ended…and that would be quite soon. 

There were five of them, all of them shot at me as time slowed.  My vision blurred red and I dodged the speeding bullets.  I leapt, ducked, and slid my way through a screen of death.  The police stared up at me in terror, and with one swipe of my paw, I through them all against the wall.

“Don’t move!â€�  I ordered, and the police obeyed readily, trembling in their furless skins with their eyes wide.  I raised my paws in a way which showed submission, and the police relaxed slightly. 

“Fear my kind, but not me myself.  I have only met one other werewolf, and he was a cruel monster.  He searched only to bestow this…this curse upon me.  At first I though it was a gift.  Be warned, if you tell a single soul about me, I will know.  If you betray my unorthodox trust, I will hunt you down.â€�  I finished with my head hung low, and bounded, without looking back, into the empty streets.

In two minutes flat I was five blocks away, and I slipped back into human form.  The City was not a good place for a werewolf, at least not an untrained one.  The night that I unleashed the beast within was all a blur.  In fact, I couldn’t remember what I was doing in that peccant forest.  I had to go back.

I definately will...eventually.  I don't really know what I'm gunna write next.  In this story, all I know is that Kesler Ovid will meet a vampire and the vampire will get his ass kicked.

Do post more whenever you can. It's great so far!

Okie-dokie. Just take you're time. Don't rush or you might end up with something you are unimpressed with. I've done that too many times to remember.

awwwww man, well don't rush, I'm sure you'll get it in when you can.

Woot!

Here is a poem that I'm gunna make up right now!

Bones are cracking, creaking, moaning,
In the forest you were roaming,
Fur is spreading, poking through,
Sweat clings like morning dew.
A howl lets loose from stretching lips,
From your fingers claws do rip,
Ears are morphing growing large,
Legs strengthen and you charge.
Into the mountains you will sprint,
And awake in patch of mint,
And make your way back to the town,
Without such spirit you would drown.

Meh, not my best, but written in like, 7 mins.

oooohh!!cafe

how about, "Wolfen unbeliever" or "Kesslerboom" ?