GAH! Here's more!!!

Chapter 4
    Two police officers lingered outside of his apartment door. The first, an older man, cleared his throat before speaking. “Is your name Alex Millar?â€� He enquired.
    Alex remained in a terrified stupor, his lungs failing to function and his mind reeling with thought. ‘Did they see me kill someone?! Are the here to arrest me?’ His heart stuttered and he knew the fear on his face was giving him away.
    The two officers had their arms cross, patiently waiting an answer.
    Alex nodded his head in silent conformation at the two stony-faced men. He could not swallow the painful lump in his throat.
    “Well,â€� the officer replied to Alex’s silent response, “we found your car abandoned near a crime scene. A young man was murdered yesterday night. Is there any chance your car was stolen?â€�
    Alex’s face flushed with colour and his eyes darted between the officer and his companion. He tried to keep the fault from his voice, but found it increasingly difficult to do so.
    “I...err...â€� he stammered, clutching the door with sweaty fingers.
    The officer cocked his eyebrow and his expression informed Alex of his suspicion.
    “No,â€� Alex finally managed, clearing his throat and continuing. “I was at the bar – drunk – and I didn’t want to drive home impaired, so I called a cab to pick me up.â€�
    Alex hung his head slightly, allowing fault to creep into his features, as though ashamed for abruptly abandoning his vehicle.
    The officer furrowed his brows as if unconvinced by the alibi and continued on. “Do you have anyone to support your alibi?â€� His eyes narrowed slightly.
    Alex froze for a brief second, and felt his tense grip splintering the door. He eased it and nodded his head. “Yes, I have a friend, Steven Everet, who was there at the bar with me.â€� 
    To Alex’s relief, the officer nodded. “Your car will be impounded and searched for any evidence of the crime scene. But if you have time, Mr. Millar, could you come by the station to give a statement? Any help catching the killer would be greatly appreciated.â€�
    “Of course,â€� Alex replied, feigning a smile and attempting to look inconspicuous. “Anything I can do to help.â€�
    “Thank you,â€� the officer responded sincerely and whirled around to exit through the door.
    However, itching curiosity promoted Alex to speak. “Wait.â€�
    The two burly officers spun around.
    “Do you have any leads as to who the killer might be?â€� Alex questioned, cursing himself for asking, but needing to know.
    The officer’s face was grim and he shook his head. “It looks like a wild animal or a depraved serial killer. We’re dealing with two similar cases at the station.â€�
    Alex furrowed his brows, uncertain as to whether he heard him right. His heart lurched in his chest.
    As the two officers revolved to leave yet again, the second, more sombre officer glanced down the hallway through to Alex’s living room. His eyebrows knitted when he spotted the broken window and Alex’s fears were confirmed.
    “What happened to your window?â€� He asked, pointing to the shattered remnants.
    “An over-zealous houseguest,â€� Alex lied and smiled falsely.
    The officer lingered, his face creased with indecision and observation as he probed the window from afar.
    Alex’s shoulders remained stiff and he could hear his heartbeat clamouring in his ears.
    To much relief, the second officer nodded before he and his partner exited.
    “Take care of yourself,â€� the officer bade as they disappeared.
    “You, too,â€� Alex replied, his voice hoarse.
    Alex kept the door open until he was certain they would not return for any further enquiries, and then closed it tightly behind him, exhaling sharply.
    “shite,â€� he muttered, “close call,â€� and rested his head against the door until he was convinced it was safe to recommence his thorough cleaning.
    He gathered his scrubbing materials and worked on the walls as his cat brushed affectionately alongside him. He stroked Ginger, relief that the animal was not horrified by his actions as a human would be. He knew he could rely on one soul keep his deepest, darkest secrets without fear of their reaction.
    Despite his lycanthropic nature, Ginger appeared unaffected by it. Other animals, he knew, feared him, sensing his other form. Some attacked. But his cat was different. For reasons unbeknownst to him, the feline accepted him, allowing him some ease at heart.
    He glanced at the clock. It read 7:00AM. He sighed, wishing he could take the workday off, but decided against it. ‘It’ll give Archer an opportunity to find an excuse to replace me with someone more ‘reliable’,’ he thought bitterly. In all the years working for Archer, never once had he taken a sick day, as he had never been sick. Even the days where he could sense the oncoming shift, he resisted and appeared at work everyday, five minutes early.
    Moments later – after he phone a taxi and finished scrubbing – he heard the taxi putter up to the sidewalk down below. This would be the only transportation to work, since his car was at the impound lot. ‘I’ll have to get it tonight,’ he noted mentally.
    As he prepared for the workday, he loped out of the door, the thought of food repulsing him. He didn’t care if he went all day without eating, so long as he didn’t have to smell it, which was impossible in a city as large as this.
    Twenty minutes later, Alex arrived at his workplace. He paid the taxi driver and exited the vehicle, beginning a short walk to the towering building.
    Even as he clung to the border of the sidewalk to avoid the bustling crowds, he felt them brush past him, some running into him without so much as a glance. He cursed internally at the milling sheepfold of impatience as he trudged his way through the sea of swimming bodies. Their perfumes were potent, stinging his nostrils, though others were unable to detect it. He despised their need for such strong aromas, but shrugged it off as he entered the post-modern building.
    It spiralled thirty storeys high and the peak was nearly invisible from his position. Steady streams of people entered and exited the building, all of which bore familiar unenthusiastic expressions on their faces.
    Alex followed the crowd of people, just as unexcitedly, his mindset elsewhere. Not only was his mind plagued with perpetual guilt, but he also strained to think about the series of attacks the officers had mentioned – the ‘wild animal’ attacks.
    He furrowed his brows in deep contemplation as he entered the elevator to the top floor. Was it possible another being like him existed? But surely not, as the Codoxin serum created him.
    ‘Did I actually kill three people last night in various different locations? That couldn’t be possible. I was in a nearly uninhabited area of town, unless I managed to make it across the city. Or maybe it was another...’
    He was ripped from his daze as the elevator chimed and the doors slithered open. A floodgate of people exited the elevator, sweeping Alex away with them like a tide.
    He strode through a large room occupied by numerous cubicles, all of which were white and bland. He shivered. People seemed to type in unison with one another, the clacking of keys pounding against his eardrums.
    Alex wove through several cubicles until he came to his at the far left of the buzzing room. He seated himself in the cushioned chair and his eyes swept over a daunting stack of paperwork. He switched on the lamp above his cubicle and his computer. As he waited, he gazed vacantly at the screen, dreading the paperwork that awaited him, but also content that it would keep his mind off of his guilt.
    “You have got to read this!â€� An overenthusiastic voice rang out behind Alex.
    Alex jerked, startled from his musings, yet again. He mumbled a curse and spun around to see Steven in the doorway of his cubicle.
Steven was grinning broadly, his messy black hair spiked in a cheap gel. His brown eyes glimmered with mischief, accenting the boyish features of his pale face.
    Alex hesitantly glanced around, his eyes alarmed. “What are you doing?â€� Alex whispered. “If Archer finds out...â€�
    “Cool your jets,â€� Steven assured with a sweep of his hand. “Work doesn’t start for,â€� he paused, glancing at his watch, “another three minutes. And since when did you care whether I was working or not?â€� His chest puffed out.
    Alex scowled. “Since Archer enforced his new policy.â€�
    Steven dismissed the thought with a shrug. “I didn’t come here to discuss that,â€� he said, lowering his voice. “I’ve got something totally...â€� he grimaced as he struggled to find a word to meet his criteria. “...bizarre to tell you.â€� His pale features were alight with exuberance.
    Alex rolled his eyes and sighed. “Don’t tell me it’s another two-dead calf story,â€� he grumbled.
    “Nope,â€� Steven said, his chest expanding with excitement. “Better – here.â€� He shoved a newspaper in front of Alex’s face. “It’s in here. You’ll never believe it!â€�
    Alex suppressed a grin as Steven never failed to entice a smile on his lips. He peered at the newspaper, baffled. “I don’t see anything besides the normal news.â€�
    Steven sighed with impatience. “No, no, not there. Here,â€� he said, grabbing the newspaper and began flipping through pages until he stopped in the middle. He slapped the paper on the desk and pointed to a small article in the corner of the page. “Right there,â€� he muttered, as if the location was obvious.
    “Thanks,â€� Alex muttered wryly and began scrolling through the article.
Unknown animal terrorizes city:
     Reports of an unidentified animal were made after the body of a twenty-year-old male was found mauled in the southeast slums of the city.
    The young man’s name has not yet been released, but the victim leaves behind a mourning family.

    All the laughter dissipated from his features and he had difficulty keeping his eyes on the page. This, he knew, was the man he had killed.
    He remembered how the police told him they found his car near a crime scene, where a man was attacked by an animal. It was too coincidental for him to overlook.
    He refused to read further, not wanting to hear about the disgruntled family he destroyed or embellishments of the gruesome murder.
    However, he relented when Steven’s elbow jabbed his shoulder, urging him to continue. Alex sighed, massaging his forehead and inhaled deeply before resuming.

    Official reports suggest that it was the cause of a large predatory animal. The autopsy has not yet confirmed the species of animal.
    Furthermore to this odd murder, other similar attacks have been documented over the series of months. Last week, a truck driver was delivering an unknown substance across town when he was violently ripped from his vehicle and mauled. All passengers but one was killed. The surviving victim refused comment.
    When an autopsy was performed on the three victims, examiners found unusually large teeth marks in the victims. DNA collected from the wounds suggests a new breed – or even species – of animal. Further testing must be initiated to determine this allegation.
    In addition to the growing evidence, the vehicle sustained extensive damage. Police noticed the back doors of the van were ripped from its hinges and the metal was deeply scored from an extremely sharp object.
    There has been suspicion that an escaped animal from a local zoo may be to blame. Other notions connect similar related cases in recent years. Witnesses to such attacks describe a large wolf-like animal and one woman referred to them as “beasts of darknessâ€� or “werewolf in the shadows.â€� No such evidence has yet been discovered.
    Authorities advise people to take caution and walk in groups.
    “From our psychological report, the killer seems to attack at night and targets those who walk alone. It is obvious ‘he’ or ‘she’ has no preference in gender, race, or sexuality,â€� Shubert, Chief of police told us.
    For now, however, the killer has evaded capture.

Nice twist i wasn't expecting police at the door , props.

Wow its been ages since I read this story. I still love it. The revsion is lovely!

-@ Vindicator: Thanks so much I'm glad I kept you guessing
-@ Clair: It's about 400 pages Microsoft Word. It might be more or less considering what I might add/remove from the story.
-@GreyTsume: It's so good to see you back! *Hugs* Thanks
-@ Grayle: Where have you been?! Thanks so much for the comments and pointing out some errors. Blast those things!  I'm really glad you're finding improvements in this draft
Alex continued to gape at the article in a stunned stupor, ensuring his eyes were not deceiving him. ‘Are there others like me?’ His stomach roiled at the possibility. It had given him a swell of hope, as he had spent countless hours deliberating whether the existence of another werewolf was possible.
    Hours he had spent at public libraries exhaustively searching for information on lycanthropes, but only manages to scrounge up fables. After several weeks, he resigned his search, convinced that he was the only of his kind. He assumed that Codoxin had made him a monster, but now he wasn’t so sure.
    But if they, too, were killing people, were they no different than him? Or had they reason behind their objectives? He did not know.
    “What do you think?â€� Steven questioned, interrupting Alex in mid-thought.
    Alex’s eyes flickered onto Steven and he tried to keep the awed expression from his face. He cocked his eyebrows and shrugged casually. “Interesting story, but there’s no plausible reason to believe that werewolves exist.â€�
    Steven gaped at him. “C’mon,â€� he argued. “You can’t tell me you don’t see some truth in this?â€� He eyed Alex intensely.
    Alex shook his head apologetically. “It’s a little far-fetched, don’t you think?â€�
    Steven grumbled. “Are you blind? I’ve read eye-witness accounts like this on the internet. They all describe these attacks in the very same fashion.â€�
    Alex chortled in response to Steven’s absurd, but true claims. “So you came all the way here to tell me a horror story?â€� His lips stretched into a convincing smirk.
    Steven scowled. “Think what you will, but don’t you find it intriguing to think that there might be some hidden society of superior beings out there. Maybe together we can try to find them.â€� He looked hopeful.
    “Don’t hold your breath,â€� Alex retorted and felt Steven’s glare burning holes in the back of his head.
    Steven sighed. “Well, then, I guess you won’t want to come with me to the next possible crime scene?â€� He enquired in a tantalizing voice.
    “Nope,â€� Alex lied. The last thing he wanted was to have Steven involved in a potentially life-threatening situation, especially if these werewolves did, in fact, live up to their reputation.
    “You don’t want to come?â€� Steven asked, exasperated.
    Alex spun in his chair to face Steven with a bored expression. “What if it’s some rabid dog or wild animal? All your trouble would have been for nothing.â€�
    “What kind of dog can rip a steel door off of its hinges? And how many rabid dogs can forcefully pull a man out of a moving vehicle?â€� He retorted, making Alex’s excuses more difficult to come by.
    Steven continued in spite of Alex’s incredulous glance. “What if it is a werewolf? If I can get a picture of it we can make loads of money on eBay or something. We’ll be famous!â€�
    “No, I’m sorry...â€� Alex began, but Steven cut in front of him.
    “It’s supposed to be a full moon next week. Maybe we’ll get lucky.â€� He offered, pointing to the window across the room where the silver orb would soon appear in a week’s time. “Please,â€� he begged, “I promise it’ll be fun. I can bring a six-pack and if we find nothing we can leave and forget about it. I won’t bother you ever again.â€�
    A slight smile pulled on Alex’s lips as a cunning thought occurred to him. “If you grant me a favour, then I’ll consider it.â€� Alex retorted.
    Steven eyed Alex suspiciously, but gave in. “Anything.â€�
    “If the police question you about my whereabouts last night, tell them I was at the bar with you.â€� Alex demanded.
    “But, you weren’t,â€� Steven argued, perplexed.
    “I know,â€� Alex replied, a hint of irritation in his voice. “But my car was found near that,â€� he pointed to the article, “crime scene and they have their suspicions of me.â€�
    Steven appeared astonished, his face contorted in a scowl. “Really?â€�
    “Really,â€� Alex verified.
    “Done.â€�
    Alex sighed at Steven’s ignorance. The full moon was ineffective towards a lycanthrope. Besides being a beautiful object amongst the constellations, it was little more than ineffective towards the werewolf’s transition cycle.    
    Perplexed, Alex’s eyes flickered to an enthusiastic Steven, avoiding the current subject and beginning another. “What did you mean by the next possible crime scene?â€�
    Steven rocked back and forth on his heels, a smile lighting his face. “Well, I contacted a friend of mine – from the office – and I asked him to triangulate the series of murders that have been occurring. I was able to find one definitive location where those things responsible might be.â€�
    Alex nodded, impressed by Steven’s cleverness. “Okay, but you bring the beer.â€�
    Victory danced in Steven’s muddy eyes and he grinned broadly. “Thank you,â€� he said before heading out of Alex’s cubicle, a spring in his step.
    Alex shook his head and turned towards his computer, amazed by his own light-heartedness – especially after killing someone. Steven never failed to generate a smile for Alex, which soon faded from his lips, his happiness dissipating, flickering and dying like a smothering flame.
    Although he agreed to go with Steven, he had an ulterior motive. He wanted to see the crime scene, to know for sure whether the evidence supported his theory. He hoped the lingering scent of the beings would be copious enough for him to detect.
    But how would he know what to look for if he didn’t recognize their scent? Would he confuse it with something else? After all, he had gone eight years without detecting a trace of their existence. Perhaps he was hoping for too much.
    What if they happened to run into the creature responsible for numerous murders? Would he have to release his inner beast and potentially reveal his hidden identity to Steven? Or would he lose complete control and kill Steven?
    A shiver rippled down his spine and he tried in vain to ignore the unnerving consideration, reassuring himself he would see nothing.

must have more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by the way so none are confused my title is pronounced clair-shore. its a hereditary name passed onto me by my father. we have a familial knight hood that has been passed on for 800 years. you wont be able to search it you cant find it on the internet. i already tried.

Grayle wrote:

Lovely character development here, Punx.

  Both Steven and Alex come to life in this segment, interacting with each other effortlessly. Alex's sneaky little attempt at an alibi was actually rather brilliant and resourceful, but I can also see Steven getting suspicious of his vicinity to the previous crime scene. I also appreciated Steven's logical statements about the abilities of a dog or animal in relation to the crime scene. Very nice!
  The camaraderie between the two is very enjoyable. In fact, I know of at least one reader who looks forward to it.
 
  Technical stuff:
  The paragraph about the library research has a few conflicts in past/present tense. The period at the end of Steven's statement about a hidden society of super beings is missing the squiggle above it which would appropriately make it into a question. (Is that an obscure statement or what? Ha!) In the same sentence, you could take out the phrase 'to think that' in order to make the statement/question more succinct. I don't think I found anything else, other than phenomenal writing.


  Also worthy of note are the final thoughts of Alex in this segment. His desire to investigate the possibility of other lycanthropes against the welfare of his friend and the confidentiality of his secret is a conundrum with no easy solution. It adds a bit of nobility for Alex to be so concerned for his friend's safety, but also conveys his angst over his solitude. Again, nicely done!
 
  Ready for more when you are, Punx...

My gosh, you've gotta apply to be an editor or something. You'd make some mad business off of it. You're such a spectacular spotter and I'd be a much worse writer if it wasn't for you.

And to all of you, thanks so much for the support It means a lot to me, really!! More coming up soon!

And Dira, yes. I still am at the halfway point for editing, not quite for posting yet. I just need a good kick in the butt to start writing again. It's been a few weeks.

punxnotdead wrote:

I just need a good kick in the butt to start writing again. It's been a few weeks.

Given your recent physical setbacks I hesitate to believe a kick in the butt would produce the desired effect. However, perhaps some mild encouragement would help...




  Stop playing on Facebook!  Open your word processor and start typing!!  Submit to the demands of your Fanbase!!!

...when you feel up to it, of course...

hey wait a minute i play on facebook too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

man that was a low blow:(

jk jk;)

Hey punx,
even though I don't comment often, I am part of the fanbase Grayle mentioned and I enjoy reading your story more than (almost) anything! I'm sure you have your reasons, but your writing talent doesn't deserve not to be used, and I hope you feel like writing again soon (if you haven't since your last post...). I'll just keep on waiting for you to post the next section

Last edited by Edo (2009-07-11 17:45:47)

Let's keep in mind, everyone, that this topic is for Punx's story, and our main purpose for posting here is to give her replies on her phenomenal work.

  Biowolf, you may want to check out the two stickys here in the stories area for tips and pointers on vocabulary, and if you wish pointers from Punx exclusively, you may want to try asking her on her personal forum. You can also post a hew topic about expanding vocabulary - I think that might get a much more diverse response for you.

  Punx, we're ready for the next installment whenever you are.

dude, im realy wanting to know what happens next in the story....

please post more story
i cant bear it!
the suspense is unimaginable...
when will you concede to the demands of your fanbase?!
oh, the agony....
(weeping silently)