Excellent segment, Punx! Welcome back!

   Wonderful character development here. The loyal, care-free friend consoles the brooding, tormented protagonist. I enjoyed the observations of Alex as he entered the bar, as well as the fleeting glimpse into love lost sometime in the past. I thought Steven's knowledge of the issue was very well done, adding an event which bonds their friendship into something more than merely workmates. Very enjoyable, I say!

  Technical stuff:
   I did notice a couple of spelling oopsies, like an 'is' that should be a 'his' and such, and there were two or three sentences that felt a little choppy - they merely needed to be restructured to fit the flow of the surrounding sentences. However, in the current format, they're difficult to find.
   I've noticed you've taken to writing sentences individually, instead of paragraphs. You have a few paragraphs in there, but most of your sentences are listed as paragraphs in themselves. I might encourage you to consolidate them into appropriate paragraphs. This helps with locating errors, and it can also help the reader to focus on specific topics in their mind as the story progresses. It's up to you, of course, but paragraphs are not just tradition. They provide infrastructure to your story.

  That being said, your descriptive language is as glorious as ever, and you have a few brilliant similes in there as well. This was a segment well worth waiting for, and I encourage you to continue. Please.

  Keep it coming, Punx!

Sorry I never got around to getting to this story Punx! I do have to say though, the story line you've set up is extravegant! Someone offering redemption but at a cost, and the person making the deal finds out when it's too late that the transaction was very tilted. I always love psycological and philisophical tricks like that.

Wow! I hadn't even noticed that you had posted more of your tale. I'll have to get on reading when I get a slower moment. I can't wait, as your writing as I have said is very well done.

@ Grayle, thank you for telling me about the errors and paragraphs. To be honest, I have no idea what a paragraph should look like. Thank you always for your helpful information

Thank you, Clair!! Really means a lot to me You're an actor?!

Wulf: No worries. Read whenever you have time

Edo: Thank you I forgot to post some for a while there.
Van and Lone  Wolf, thank you both

Chapter 6    
    The thief peered into the beast’s eyes with irrevocable terror. More gunshots rang through the silence.
    The beast felt the miniscule twinges of pain as the bullets deflected off of his massive, heaving chest. His frothing maw twisted into a wicked grin, revealing a row of his glimmering knife-sized teeth. His eyes blazed, his fur hackled, and his muscles condensed with the urge to lunge, to feel the warm blood caress his tongue.
    The terrified man, trembling, withdrew, his face stricken with fear. It rolled from his body like a pungent odour, enthralling the beast further. The sound of his sporadic pulse thundered in its ears as the man whirled around and bolted away.
    The beast heard the man’s fleeing footfalls disappearing as he drew more distance between them. And yet the beast remained, waiting with eager anticipation to begin, its molten eyes transfixed in front of it like a gothic statue.
    Without forewarning, the werewolf launched itself forward like a lethal spring. Its massive paws drummed against the ground as talons scraped against the pavement. It flashed through the darkness like the flicker of a shadow with speeds unfathomable to man.
    It took little time to follow the thick scent to the long stretch of street ahead. The streetlights ceased to illuminate the street, plunging the vicinity into terrifying darkness. However, the beast could see the retreating man with great lucidity, whimpering and calling out for any means of help.
    But there would be no salvation for the fleeing thief. What a pity, the werewolf thought; no one would witness his shrill screams of terror as he ripped through his flesh.
    The massive creature lumbered toward the horrified man, drawing teasingly closer, hearing his heartbeat race as he realized he was being pursued. He could sense the man’s indecision as he was prepared to stop and defend himself or continue running and surely be torn down. But instinctual fear propelled him to run – to keep running until the danger ceased to exist.
    The lycanthrope propelled itself forward in a taunting game of cat and mouse, his maw so close to its victim that in one small bound, it could snap the man’s neck. But the beast waited, revelling in the freedom from within its mind. The weak fool had kept him caged in the back of his mind, unaware of the power he could possess if they worked in unison.
    But the beast knew that Alex would refuse. He was too pathetic to kill these feeble parasites.
    As agitation swept through its sinister mind, the werewolf bored of the screaming man and lunged. His massive body slammed into the thief’s back and he was thrust headlong into the pavement.
    The beast curled its saliva-sheathed fangs around the back of the thug’s throat, feeling his futile struggles and muffled screams. It could feel the man’s heartbeat jump between his teeth and for a moment, the beast was indecisive. The human lingering at the back of his mind was struggling for control and the beast snarled. He refused to allow such weakness to overcome him.
    With a twist of his lethal fangs, a small spray of blood lashed the cement and he could hear the thief’s garbled death cries and his struggling cease in a snap of bone.
    Rich, coppery blood invaded his mouth as he crushed the man’s larynx, the blood caressing his muzzle and fur. Despite this, he felt a twinge of repulsion as human emotions began to regain control. The beast could see the milky white haze obscure its vision and in a viscous lunge, the beast disappeared into the shadows homeward bound.
   
    Alex’s eyes flew open and he leapt from his bed, sprawling to the floor in a tangled heap. His bare chest heaved sporadically, ebbed with sweat. His blood roared in his ears and his temples throbbed.
    He groaned as his fists were balled tightly in his sheets. He could feel his claws tear through the delicate fabric.
    Confused and disgruntled, Alex staggered to his feet, a rush of blood to his skull causing his knees to buckle. He grasped into his bed for support, urging his claws to retract. His eyes tingled as they resumed their natural green hue.
    He shivered, but not from the cold. The nightmare was fresh in his mind, causing the horrific images to flash in front of him. He clenched his teeth together, his jaw muscle leaping as he gathered his composure.
    The memory was more lucid than any other of his nightmares had been. He could still smell the man’s blood and a twisted part of his mind craved for it – the beast.
    He growled angrily, hurling the sheets from his ankles and trudging toward the shower where he could calm himself. He briefly glanced at the clock. He still had two hours until work began.
    He took a long shower, hoping to prolong it as much as possible. He needed time to mull over his dream. Why would he return home? That had never happened when the beast consumed him. He usually awoke beneath a pile of dead bodies or a decrepit alley.
    Never before had he awoken in his own apartment, unless, he mused, he was able to maintain some control to distance himself from the crime scene.
    Whatever the case, he was still perplexed.
    When he exited the shower, he dressed hastily in a white pinstripe button-up shirt, black workpants and a suede black jacket. He needed little to protect him from the cold, but to blend in, he wound a scarf over his neck.
    Though his stomach was clenched tightly from the previous night’s nightmare, he forced down a bagel and a glass of orange juice before heading out of the door.
    He spent the majority of his day working on business papers and listening to Steven’s excited prattling.
    However, his mind was elsewhere. He desperately wanted to gather information about the previous attacks – as much as he could to arm himself with. The more he knew the better chance he stood.
    When Archer finally caught Steven sneaking away from his office to join Alex, Alex was grateful, able to enjoy a moment to gather the vital information.
    He glanced around him to ensure no one was watching before opening up an internet window. It was imperative that no one oversee it and become suspicious.
    He kept his ears attuned to Steven and Archer, listening with a slight smile at Archer’s clamorous voice reprimanding Steven. He chuckled at Steven’s racing heart and his apologies, knowing they meant little to him.
    When the search engine popped up, he gave one last scour of his cubicle before typing in werewolf attacks in USA. The moment he hit search, dozens of sites advertized their sightings. His keen eyes flickered through each website, unable to find a definitive answer to the questions that nagged at him. They all referred to different myths, but none of current times.
    Disheartened and irritation setting in, Alex opened one last promising site, holding his breath as the page loaded.
    He took two takes before he realized what he was seeing. Several pictures were displayed on the website. Some were censored for their graphic content, but they all portrayed similar causes of death. Their skin was heavily scored by a sharp object, their flesh torn from their bodies and limbs askew at odd angles.
    When he read the margin below the accumulation of pictures, his stomach lurched.

in reply to
(Thank you, Clair!! Really means a lot to me You're an actor?! )

yes i am an actor i do extra work
for films like terminator salvation and the last indiana jones movie

i am currently going to film school and im learning more about acting as a way of life

i like doing this kind of stuff especially because i get to meet famous people like harrison ford

lonewolf13 wrote:

hay clairsior818 who did you play in the last indiana jones movie?

in reply to this i was an extra im in the beginning im in jones class towards the point where you see me in the front row

i am in many parts of the movie and the second time you see me is when they find the skull and im playing one of the nazis and the third time you see me im again a nazi and im actually not supposed to be in the footage at that point i was on break.

i just needed the money but when i met harrison ford i got to liking acting alot more when he told me about how he started acting.

it all started a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.......

but thats basically the story and im in the end too when you see the thing take off from the mayan area im a mayan then but i was so covered in make up you can barely tell its me.

in terminator i play the terminators in several parts and the first part is when the connor kid takes down the terminator.

second im grabbing whats his faces leg and i get shot. third im in the end when they are hearding the humans i play a human and a terminator in that scene. im the guy that gets shot and im also the one who did the shooting.

cool and ok!!!

clairsior818 wrote:

lonewolf13 wrote:

hay clairsior818 who did you play in the last indiana jones movie?

in reply to this i was an extra im in the beginning im in jones class towards the point where you see me in the front row

i am in many parts of the movie and the second time you see me is when they find the skull and im playing one of the nazis and the third time you see me im again a nazi and im actually not supposed to be in the footage at that point i was on break.

i just needed the money but when i met harrison ford i got to liking acting alot more when he told me about how he started acting.

it all started a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.......

but thats basically the story and im in the end too when you see the thing take off from the mayan area im a mayan then but i was so covered in make up you can barely tell its me.

in terminator i play the terminators in several parts and the first part is when the connor kid takes down the terminator.

second im grabbing whats his faces leg and i get shot. third im in the end when they are hearding the humans i play a human and a terminator in that scene. im the guy that gets shot and im also the one who did the shooting.

........Wow!...... I'm jealous! To say the least. Harrison for ROCKS!
Jeez! A real life star on the Cafe

And thanks so much, Vindicator! You don't have to pay for it, just consider it a gift from me   A friend!

Mooree!

The bodies of all these victims were massacred in a similar fashion, with their throats grotesquely torn out and their bones broken by excessive force. Though authorities believe it to be the cause of a depraved serial killer or wild animal, the DNA collected from the bite wounds indicates towards an entirely different species.
    To some, the massacres are believed to be inflicted by a werewolf, or in its proper name, a lycanthrope. Authorities refuse to accept such claims, as they believe there isn’t enough evidence to suggest such. If you wish to submit any werewolf sightings of your own, please comment below.

    This had been precisely what Alex was searching for. He remained in an incredulous stupor as his eyes gazed over the dates and locations of the attacks. They all appeared within five years of one another and all of the attacks occurred within the city’s limits – his city!
    Though he wanted to read further, he could hear footfalls approaching and hastily exited out of the internet and powered down his computer.
    The rest of the week passed without incident and Alex continued to mull over the consideration concerning more of his kind. Why hadn’t he spotted them yet? Surely he would pick up their scent.
    The days rolled by with painful slowness as he sifted through work documents, trying to finish them so he could continue his research on the internet. When he found no other helpful information, he would depart for the night, only to avidly search the next morning.
    He spent his weekend with Steven to keep his mind off of his contemplations, feeling utter stupidity for having indulged such time on the internet websites. No myth or legend ever gave him a definitive answer, revealing different ways once could become a werewolf. None, he knew, were accurate.
    When Tuesday arrived, Alex experienced growing unease. What if they did find a werewolf? What would it do to them? Surely he could defend Steven from an attack, but he also worried about his own identity being revealed. What then would he say to his friend of seven years?
    He ignored the painful considerations and helped Steven with planning; sincerely hoping he would see nothing. He could always return later when Steven was not around.
    He waited at his desk, his knee jerking with growing unease as he watched the full moon ascending in the sky. The sky was black and the moon cast a chalky glow through the window. He could feel the heat of it scald his skin as he continued to watch its slow ascent and the sun sinking beneath the horizon.
    Steven appeared from behind, startling Alex from his unsettling musings. He appeared concerned, his dark brows furrowed. “Are you alright? You don’t look so good.â€� Steven muttered.
    Alex cleared his throat and smiled weakly. “I’m fine, just a little nervous.â€�
    Steven chuckled. “I knew I convinced you.â€� He sounded triumphant.
    Alex rolled his eyes and got to his feet, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Okay, let’s do this.â€�
    Alex grumbled in the passenger side of Steven’s battered vehicle. The ancient ’89 Corsica wheezed down the vacated streets, spewing plumes of polluted exhaust into the night sky.
    Steven shivered as his car had no heating and Alex became accustom to his seat suddenly lurching from the screaming breaks.
    Alex cursed mentally, boring of Steven’s what if? ramblings. He was getting too carried away to talk rationally with as he pushed his car beyond its recommended speed limit.
    The motor buzzed as he pressed his foot on the accelerator. They were drawing nearer, as cars became scarcer and buildings began to resemble untidy heaps of stacked bricks. 
    “Hey,â€� Steven interjected on Alex’s thoughts, releasing the steering wheel to nudge Alex in the arm.
    Alex sighed and averted his eyes to Steven.
    “You know what would be great?â€� Steven suggested, his eyes alight.
    “If you got a new car?â€� Alex retorted.
    Steven rolled his eyes, but ignored Alex. “...If you could stay in the car to be look-out while I go take pictures of the crime scene.â€�
    “Not a chance,â€� Alex replied with a shake of his head, knowing that Steven would render him that responsibility to ensure no police were within the vicinity. He wanted to see the crime scene for himself. Only his senses could determine the presence of a werewolf.
    “Fine,â€� he muttered, foiled. He changed the subject. “Do you think we’ll find anything there?â€�
    Alex shrugged, uncertain. “I’m about as certain as you are. I doubt we will. We’re looking for a creature of myth.â€� He teased at Steven’s claims.
    Steven sighed. “Well, you looked pretty convinced to me when you were looking them up on the internet,â€� he retorted with a smug grin.
    “How did you...â€� he began to question with disbelief as Steven cut him off.
    “A great magician never reveals his secrets.â€� He winked as Alex glowered at him.
    After some time, Alex found himself laughing, too, as they exchanged snide comments. His unease, however, crept back up as the ramshackle vehicle crawled to a stop.
    “Here we are,â€� Steven announced, inhaling deeply and his eyes dancing with curiosity. “This is where they were murdered,â€� he whispered to himself as he reached for the glove box. Through the mess of papers in the small compartment, Steven extracted a voice recorder, a camera and a flashlight.
    Alex cocked a brow. “Whoa, what’s all the equipment for?â€�
    Steven grinned. “Well, if we’re going to figure this thing out, I’m going to document every step of the crime scene.â€�
    “And what if you see no anomalies?â€� Alex challenged.
    “Everything about this crime scene is an anomaly – how the doors were ripped from the frame and the unusual lacerations in the victims.â€� Steven replied eagerly.
    Alex shook his head with mild irritation, grabbing a flashlight from Steven, though he didn’t need it, and exited the vehicle.
    The air was thick with moisture and chilled, causing the cold air to tenderly nip at his exposed flesh. He wore his usual work attire, though the cold failed to deter him.
    Steven, however, pulled his arms close to his chest, his teeth chattering as they sauntered towards the crime scene.
    Alex gazed around the vicinity, his ears and senses attuned for any indication of danger. He saw or heard no one through the black night. Buildings were silent, infested with vermin, their brick structures cracked and crumbling.
    The streetlights were extinguished and rusted with age, allowing the chalky moon as the only source of light. It bathed the long stream of buildings in a milky blaze, illuminating the overpass above, which had been condemned years ago due to faults in the structure.
    Alex was mildly surprised to see no police officers lingering around the crime scene. ‘Maybe they ruled it out as an animal attack after all.’ He assured himself as Steven warily strode over to the crime scene, which was bordered by yellow police tape.
    Alex was amazed by the serenity of the vast emptiness that stretched out before him. The buildings were consumed by plant life, old gnarled trees creating sinister shadows along the pavement.
    As the crime scene drew nearer, Alex inhaled deeply, testing the air, but could only smell the putrid and recognizable odours of blood burning in his nostrils and the decaying matter strewn along the streets.
    With his unreliable sense, Alex averted his attention to the middle of the street where the crime scene occurred. Alex was suddenly uncertain, a painful unease ripping at his stomach.
    “Are you sure it’s safe out here?â€� Alex enquired, concerned only for his friend’s safety.
    Steven, paces ahead, revolved to face Alex with a crooked grin. “It wouldn’t be much fun if it wasn’t. Plus, haven’t you always been intrigued by anything risky or dangerous?â€� He challenged.
    Alex grunted in response. “It’s not like I ever have much of a choice. You’re always dragging me on these missions.â€� He complained.
    Steven snorted. “Well, you always agree,â€� he shrugged and turned away.
    “That’s because you’re always begging me to come along,â€� Alex retorted, slight irritation ebbing into his features.
    Steven ignored Alex and shivered. He glanced at Alex with incredulity. “Aren’t you cold? It’s like fifty below out here!â€�
    Alex chuckled. “Hardly,â€� he murmured at Steven’s exaggeration. “I’m use to it.â€� He levelled his flashlight on the crime scene to avert the subject. He always felt uneasy discussing his peculiar habits.
    Evidence of a struggle was apparent. Congealed blood stained the streets crimson and there were small morsels of hair and flesh smeared along the pavement.
    Alex felt his stomach lurch and an overwhelming grief strike him. These people had been murdered in a similar fashion. Though the blood was too thick in the air to attain a definitive scent of the culprit, the evidence could not be denied.
    Alex’s skin was growing sweaty and his eyes darted vigilantly around the vicinity. And yet he saw nothing – nothing but the dark shadows sheathing the buildings, which stood eerily silent.
    Alex was ripped from his reverie at the click of Steven’s voice recorder. He spoke into the device in a hoarse, ominous whisper to suit the atmosphere.
    “Wow,â€� he muttered, ducking under the police tape, much to Alex’s disapproval, and knelt where the horrific misdeed had occurred. “It appears an intense struggle took place. There is plenty of blood that would suggest such, as with deep, diagonal lacerations in the pavement. They are approximately half an inch deep, suggesting the killer to have incredible strength. There are still some pieces of shrapnel from the attack, suggesting the vehicle was forcefully stopped.â€�
    Alex raised his eyebrows and glanced humorously at Steven, who began taking photographs of the scene, the sudden flashes of light disorienting him. “Are you planning to write a book on this?â€� He chortled.
    “Laugh now,â€� Steven muttered with an acidic glance as he resumed his observations, too engrossed to pay much heed to what occurred around him.
    Before he could comment once more, a sudden shiver rippled down Alex’s spine and he knew something was very, very wrong. His muscles tensed and from the corner of his peripherals, he saw a shadow flicker across the street and hastily disappeared behind a building fifty yards away.
    Alex’s heart leapt in his throat and his eyes darted to the location where he had seen the blur of movement. Though it was nearly too fast for a human to perceive, he was certain of what he saw. It was a large, dark mass.
    The hairs along the back of his neck thickened with the first signs of the transformation as he remained in a disgruntled stupor. Should he fear? He was indecisive. However, as he inhaled at the sudden breeze that whipped his face, his heart began hammering wildly in his chest.
    The scent was unidentifiable, he had never smelled it before, however; it was completely distinctive from anything he had ever smelled. It was potent and had a slight spice to it. The intoxicating odour sent a wave of tremors through his body and for a moment, he felt the thrill of the shift surge through him. He wanted to explode from his human facade and lope towards the strange being.
    However, he suppressed the overwhelming urge and kept his sharp eyes transfixed in front of him.
    Ever so slowly, two blazing lupine eyes emerged from behind the building.

wow havent been on in a long time
but awesome i love his development and the cliffhanger has left me screaming for more!!!!
write more soooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great Florida Punx. I do believe your writing will give me a heart attack someday. The suspenseful building is astounding and I'm not just saying that. As this section began to pick up an move faster and faster I was just waiting for something to happen, and then the eyes appeared. I had some chills run down my spine due to it!

The character development was quite fascinating as well, as your starting to see a divergence in personalities of Alex. I think it will be very interesting to see if the "Werewolf" will slowly develop as a separate entity or if it is in fact just Alex's "true nature." I'm excited to see where you take it.

MUST....KNOW....WHAT....HAPPENS....NEXT

yeah that pretty much sums up my reaction

heya Punx!
I'm about halfway through this.
I love how you describe things throughout you story.  You have an excellent vocabulary, and a very descriptive way of writing.  I find you to be an inspiration.
Since I'm only halfway through reading everything you currently have posted I'm not sure how my comments fit in here, but here's a few...

first let me just say thanks for allowing us the pleasure of reading your tale.  It's an honor.

The scene where you have Alex and Derik fighting, I have to agree with Grayle's comments about the unlikelihood of Derik possessing a silver bat.  But if you want you could have him wielding a silver candle stick holder. 
What would it be doing there?
Judging the type of person Derik is he could have potentially stolen it from a house or taken someone else's spoils.  The bag could be lying about as something he hasn't cashed in yet, or maybe he shows up at the door walking in with it.  If you decide to use this I would recommend having him pick it up out of happenstance.  Perhaps as they are struggling you could have Derik knock into the bag holding the miscellaneous items and he blindly grabs something to use as a weapon to use on Alex, and it just happens to be an item of silver.

The silverware isn't a bad idea either, but with the candle holder being used as a club like weapon you wouldn't have to change the fight scene overly much.



Another thing I picked up on was a post from Grayle about coming up with a more practical way of using some kind of synthetic silver.  If Crowell developed some kind of silver substance in an aerosol composition then it could easily be applied to anything he needed to coat.  All he would have to do is spray it on.  Save the pure silver objects for small exotic things like a handful of silver bullets, a knife, or even a sword.

Again these are just ideas.  Take them, cut 'em up, use what you want, and throw out the rest.

I shall continue to read more as time allows.

Hey guys! I am SOOOO sorry about the delay. I will post more soon, but my laptop with the story has to get a new part. THEN I can post it. How many more are still reading it?