“Maddie, we’re sorry, but he is.� Her tears were the expected response. Several people stood around, all with somber looks on their faces. Maddie held her newborn son in her arms, her face buried in the blankets surrounding him. Her body shook slightly with each sob and Gavin put a heavy hand on her shoulder.
“We have to go soon Maddie. We’ll come back in a few hours and check in, but there is a bit of trouble that we have to take care of.� Gavin bent forward and kissed her on the forehead lightly. She never took her face from the blankets to acknowledge anything he said. “Be good little sister. And we’ll find Evan, I promise you that. See you soon.�
And with that, they were all gone, leaving Maddie and her newborn son, a son she had not even named yet. She withdrew her face and looked at the small baby that sat in her arms. He looked back at her with green eyes lined all around with black, with eyes that echoed the curse of his kind. He already had a thick growth of black hair, though it covered only the top half of his head.
         
           He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

           He was the most terrible thing she had ever seen.

Another round of tears found her eyes and began pouring lightly. The baby began to cry softly, not the loud bawling usual of one so young. When she heard this, Maddie stopped her own tears and comforted her child, a boy who still had no name.
She would name him William. William Evan Corvine, after his father Evan William Corvine.
As his name flitted across her thoughts, she was almost brought to tears again. Evan was the man she loved more than life, but he had lied to her. He had not told her that he was of their kind, the dogs of the night as they were called.
He had not told her that he was a lycan. They had spent many months together, months that Maddie had thought to be the best of her life. And Evan was Maddie’s first. She found she was pregnant a few weeks after she had moved into Evan’s house. When she told him her fantastic news, he seemed grim and withdrawn. Days later, he told her he had to leave, saying nothing about his destination or when he would return. She had not seen him since and still held on to the hope of him coming back one day. But it had been months since he had left and there seemed no possibility that he would return.
    The curse of a Lycan was not a big deal to Maddie. The fact that her son was one of them did not faze her. She had grown up around them her whole life. Her father, her sister, and she were all born without lycanthropy but her mother and brother were both one of them.
    What hurt Maddie was Evan’s failure to tell her that he was one of them. She did not want her child to grow up to be a lycan under the new government regulations. With as many issues with lycans arising around the world as there were, things would be hard for her child his entire life.
                Her tears stopped almost in sync with William falling asleep in her arms. She looked out the window at the gibbous moon and sent out an internal plea to whatever God might be out there to protect the only thing she had left.

   

18 years later...




                    That feeling, the one where I feel like I am crushing inward and my bones are snapping, it started again. I looked out the huge windows of the cafeteria to look at the moon. Despite being almost noon it shone brightly in the sky. I growled lowly and looked away, going back to my assignment.
    It was two days until the full moon presented itself and it would be the most dangerous full moon in a decade. For about seventy-five percent of its time it would be in the daylight. And with the largest population of my kind within a hundred miles of me it could be a potential blood bath if one tiny thing goes wrong.
    An armed guard stood a few tables away from me with an assault rifle strapped to his shoulder. He eyed me with paranoia and put one hand on the butt of his gun to accentuate his power. I could almost hear him pleading at me to change so he could fill me up with so much silver that I would bleed it to death. I smirked and chuckled internally as his brow furrowed in frustration.
    I went back to my homework once again and realized that I was finding any excuse to procrastinate my work. I abhorred this class, probability and statistics, but I still had to do it to maintain a somewhat good GPA. The problems swam with my vision as another spasm rocked through me. It was getting harder to control as it got closer to the full moon but that was always how it was.
    “What the hell is with the stupid face, Will? Having a seizure, are we?â€� If the voice didn’t tell me who the speaker was, the obnoxious chuckling clued me in.
    “Shove off, Zack. I don’t feel like taking your s*** today. I growled lowly and felt the pressure again. I looked over to the guard again with a harsh grimace on my face and saw him ready his gun. He knew that I was close, so close that I could start to feel the tearing of my skin on my chest. I swallowed hard and focused on the pen in my hand. I could not do this now. Too many people would get hurt.
    “Aren’t you going to do anything, Will? Nothing to say? That’s what I thought.â€� Zack moved into my line of sight and within an inch of my ear. “You know that I can do all I want but if you do one thing, you take one between the eyes.â€� He laughed again and left, leaving me with a broken pen and one hell of a headache.
    I glared at the guard again and saw him with the sight of his gun on my skull. I released my grip on the pen and watched it fall to the floor in several pieces. Damn, I thought. Dammit I can’t do this anymore.
    As I stood up to leave, I felt something slam between my shoulder blades. At first I thought the guard had gotten trigger happy and I was a dead man, but once again the laughter gave me a good indication of who it was. As my face hit the table, I felt the first of the bones pop, my tibia. My leg buckled forward and several other bones threatened to break.
    With both hands, I gripped the edge of the table and squeezed as tightly as I could. Wood splintered in my hands and the next bone popped, somewhere in my back. I doubled forward in pain and tasted blood as teeth pushed their way past the others through my gums. I gripped tighter and tried hard to find a focus. But the only image I could garner was one of the full moon and my change only intensified. The itch of fur sprouting across my body came and I knew I was almost in too deep to stop myself.
               Then I found it, my center.  I thought of my mother, tears running down her face as she watched my dragged away in shackles to the intensive lockdown unit. I thought of her all alone, not even Uncle Gavin here to help her when she needed.
    It was instant. I felt my bones shift back into place, the proper place for a human. The itch went away and the teeth pulled back.
    But that didn’t stop the guard from pulling the trigger and planting a bullet into my ribcage.
    All I remember was a satisfied feeling at the terrified look on Zack’s face and the feel of warm blood in my nouth as I let the darkness take me.


(((More coming soon)))

Last edited by Ferafin (2009-03-06 10:13:30)

Thank you. I must say that i am slightly upset that it has taken so long for somone to reply, though i am somewhat unsurprised by this as it is a terribly written story.
I take the compliment, but what i want to know is what you think is bad about it, what i can fix.

See, the thing is with this story is that the first paragraph is in third person mainly because i intended the rest to be in fisrt, but a newborn child can't exactly tell his story.

The grammatical errors annoy me, and i will fix them!
(i wrote this about 2 years ago and dug it out of an unused story file)

My kind thanks to you Grayle. It is much appreciated, your complimenting.
As i have stated, i wrote this 2 years ago and have pretty much given up on it. Also, i did not post all that i have done because i planned on deleting it anyway.
the GPA thing, as I look at it now, is quite an annoyance.

Thank you for the advice.

The jump in perspective is something I picked up from my all time favorite author, R.A. Salvatore.
He frequently jumps around like this and, while it can get confusing, once you are used to it, it makes sense.

And you have guessed the direction of the story perfectly, though it isn't that simple.

As soon as I have more, I will post it and let everyone know.
Hopefully that will be later today!


(((Later that day:)))

alright, here it is. just go back up to the top posts and read where you left off.

Opinions are greatly appreciated.

Last edited by Ferafin (2009-03-05 10:47:37)

Fricken fantastic ferafin!

(((i believe that is called alliteration, though i am sure i spelled it wrong!)))

this change sequence is epic.
but i hope you don't turn this into flash fiction.
i want more.
alot more
make it good, please.

some of your spelling was off last time, but i see you fixed it.
Nice one, though.
this stiry is great.

Very nice continuation, Ferafin!

  The spelling and punctuation was much better, allowing the reader to focus more on the story. I enjoyed the descriptions f his throat and the fear coursing through him, as well as the continued testing of the restraints. I also appreciated the explanation of the 'wild' lycans, and what made them that way.

  Good job!

A few things that catched me while reading (all strictly IMO):

Ferafin wrote:

“Maddie, we’re sorry, but he is.� Her tears were the expected response. Several people stood around, all with somber looks on their faces.

I would shorten that, drop the "but he is." from the intro sentence, it is needless confusing to read and distracts from the unfolding of the story.

He had not told her that he was of their kind, the dogs of the night as they were called.
He had not told her that he was a lycan.

I would advise to make a few changes to make the sentence flow better.
I would work the last part of the first (the dogs of the night...) into the latter, question though:

He looked back at her with green eyes lined all around with black, with eyes that echoed the curse of his kind

It indicates here that (apart from the excess hair) the babies eyes give away his affliction.
Why couldn't she tell then that her lover is afflicted?

He had not told her that he was a lycan. They had spent many months together, months that Maddie had thought to be the best of her life. And Evan was Maddie’s first.

No need for the reader to know that he was her first, unless you want to emphasize that she was overly trusting in him because he's her first love, I would advise to either drop that or rework it to go along with her feeling of being betrayed by him.
Also the whole "They had spent many months together..." should add more directly to

She found she was pregnant a few weeks after she had moved into Evan’s house. When she told him her fantastic news, he seemed grim and withdrawn. Days later, he told her he had to leave, saying nothing about his destination or when he would return.

to avoid confusion of the timetable we are dealing with.

Last edited by Daninsky (2009-03-10 11:29:20)