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BLESSED
Preface
Katia Garoux was never a normal girl, She grew up in a big wealthy family, went to fancy private schools and altogether had a pretty sheltered life. But ever since her 17th birthday her life had went from not normal to down-right unnatural in the space of a couple of months she had found out the big family secrets ones that her parents, aunts, uncles older siblings and cousins all knew about-why all their lives had been so sheltered, why they kept moving, why they hadnât been able to go to local school and what her father was really doing at the genetics lab where he worked. But in order for you to understand the secrets of the Garoux family weâll have to take you back to the very beginning now wonât we?
Chapter 1:Childhood
Catalina Rios was a beautiful woman with long curly black hair and deep brown eyes. She met her husband Phade Garoux in high school. They married immediately after graduations and had three children-all boys, all had black hair and all had brown eyes.
They named their first child Lucian, the second was named Lark and the youngest was named Lyson . They grew up their lives sheltered and protected. Their parents agreed to tell them their little family secret only when they themselves managed to trigger the Garoux familyâsâ very special gene for the first time either by puberty or extreme emotion .
The first son triggered it when her was 11 by such emotions, when he got into a fight with another boy at school, ,and just like that the change happened.
He felt the tremors shake him from head to toe, sheer terror gripped him as he felt his body dissolve into a new, unfamiliar form. He felt his spine arch over to the point the thought it would snaps in two, Suddenly his body was burning, tingling all over as if hair was growing at an impossible rate. And then he was on all fours his eyes seeing in black and white. He looked at the boy, he was more terrified than Lucian (if that was possible) then everything snapped back to him he felt rage an aching, his lips curled back in a snarl as he leaped at the boy he could smell the warm blood pumping through his veins, he heard his shriek as he landed on his back a big black wolf on top of him, he tasted his flesh as his teeth made contact, the boyâs hollow grey eyes locked with his. The shock of the boyâs features sent his world spinning and suddenly he was upright again. He was clothed-no fur, he brought his hand to his face-no paw, he felt his teeth-no canines. Then his fingers brushed his lips, he pulled his hand reluctantly to his eyes. Blood. He ran. Ran home. Ran away from what he had done, and deep inside his body he felt a wolf run with him, an anguished howl in his throat, the aching had stopped.
Catalina and Phade didnât know what exact emotion triggered Lucianâs transformation anger, fear or just sheer aggression, but they had felt it as soon as it had happened, there he was in the middle of the park their son then suddenly a wolf. And they both knew no one would ever see the little boy again.
The Garoux family had to move straight after that, Lucian didnât have to tell his parentâs what happened he just walked in form school and his mother got up and said he would explain everything on the way but for now they had to leave right away. Lucian never had time to argue in a flash his father had packed the bags and gathered his brothers, A fierce look of determination and urgency on his face.
His mother kept his promise and once they got settled into their new home she took him quietly into his bedroom while his brotherâs where outside playing in the garden and began to speak, slowly and cautiously âsweetheart first of all you know what happened at the park wasnât your fault donât you?. Itâs mine and your fatherâsâ
âBut why did it happen, It couldnât have happened Itâs not realâ
âWellâŚyou see youâre a little young to get into the technical breakdown of our genes so lets just put it a little simpler shall we?âŚletâs see our DNA is different form other peopleâs ok? Do you understand?â
âyesâŚbut whyâ
âthatâs exactly what your father is trying to figure out at the lab. We have a few rough ideas you see
The testing of DNA and the particularities of some fish able to change their shape in order to scare predators make some scientists to believe that some people have a genetic mutation permitting them to transform themselves. But of coarse your father has to be careful not to expose to much itâs still a lot more complex. Itâs easier to explain to you if I put it like thisâŚDNA is stored in chromosomes and humans have a different, a smaller amount to separate them form animals, but we were born with more
Chromosomes , in fact we were born with the exact same number of Chromosomes as wolves.â
âso what are you trying to say that Iâm a werewolf!â
âItâs not your fault though, itâs mine and your fatherâs you see weâre both werewolves too and when a child is born if one of their parents has the werewolf gene then at the most only half of her children will have the werewolf gene as it will only be dominant 50% of the time but if both parents are werewolves then all of the children will have the gene too.â
So whatâŚwhat do we do now?â His voice trembled a little but he hid it well,
âNothing. We get on with our lives. After your first change you can shift freely at will from now one, but you should still be carefully for now with your emotions try not to get to out of had your only young it may still trigger another change ok?â
âyeahâŚhey mum? Can you tell me some more tomorrow?â
âSure, just get some sleep now your father will explain more in the morning weâll talk about the 3rd stage of shape-shifting tomorrow- the Anthromorphic stage â
âWhatâs thatâ He asked curiously wide-eyed.
âTomorrowâ She turned to him suddenly remembering something important âOh and try not to tell your brothers we want to wait until they go through the change themselves before discussing this with them itâs much less stressful that way because they know weâre telling the truth alright?â
âSure, SureâŚno problem itâs our familyâs secret right?â
Catalina smiled in the darkness âRightâ
Chapter 2:The Talk
âSo do you understand now son?â a raven haired Phade asked looking down at his child. This talk wasnât easy Lucian was a very bright boy but He had still had to remove all his scientific words and dumb it down three times before the 11 year old could even confirm his father wasnât speaking in a foreign language.
â I think soâŚyour trying to say that a mutation of our DNA allows us to switch and It seems to be passed on through genetics? Right?â
Relief spread across the young manâs face âyeah thatâs basically itâ
Catalina step in then ânow letâs try and put the actual Shapeshifting simply. You see Lucian A shape shifter doesnât have to be a werewolf their DNA can be fused with any animal from snakes to lions but we wolf shifters have three stages of Shapeshifting the first is our human form, the second is our animal wolf form-the one that you shape Shifted into yesterday and the third is the âtrueâ werewolf form, the Anthromorphic. There are some differences between the animal and werewolf form. The werewolf will have more human characteristics but the head will be identical to a wolfâs, but the muzzle is thicker and the jaws more powerful. Werewolves teeth are also sharper and about 4cm longer than a normal wolfâs. The front paws are more like hands and can hold things. The back legs are longer and very strong as werewolves often stand or land on two legs but prefer to run and jump on all fours. We also have advanced sight, smell, speed, Strength, stamina, durability, tracking and can survive falls from great heights and crawl up and along walls and ceilings, Any of these abilities can be harnessed in your human form just be careful not to let anyone find outâ
Phade broke back in here, As much as he loved his wife he wasnât letting her take all the glory for explaining this crazy new world to there firstborn son â every shape shifter also hase a regenerative character to combat the ageing process because we have two souls-two life forces in us our own and our animalâs spirit which means we wonât die of old age but any normally fatal injury or disease will prove fatal to us because one of those life forces will be damaged making us unable to regenerate, we can heal exceptionally quickly but if itâs beyond regeneration then we can die. Although if we choose not to regenerate our age we can pass away naturally if we wish.â
âoh and one more thingâŚâ Catalina broke in for the second time âIf you harness any of those abilities people will be able to see because your eyes will turn amber the same colour as a wolfâs, Thereâs also a slight change in that when you turn into an Anthromorphic werewolf because even though your eyes still stay amber but your pupils become slitsâŚjust letting you know so if you look in a mirror you donât get the fright of your lifeâ She laughed but there was a nervous edge to it. Lucian smiled at his parent before asking if he could go try it out, Catalina looked at her husband who gave one stiff nod. She knew why he was suddenly tense, she also new why she got so nervous when she finished telling him about his new life. They both new that all that information would take a couple of days maybe weeks to sink in before he could grasp any of it, But they knew it was better to have a long talk about it and give him all the information at once instead of just telling him bits and pieces when he asked about it. But there was one thing they hadnât told him and would happily wait a couple of years to discuss with him and that was of course telling him about the ongoing warâŚ.
Chapter 3: The war
Everything on this earth has enemies dogs have cats, gazelle have lions, humans have each other, Everything has at least one enemyâŚeven werewolves. Territorial disputes have broke out time and time again between them and one other mythical race and thatâs Vampires.
Even the very name of their existence make the hair on the back of every werewolf stand on end, and whatâs worse? right now the vampires are losing the eternal war, which means they are taking more drastic measures such as killing of all the most powerful werepacks. The first to be assassinated was the silver pack, then the western and eastern packs for years the vampire coven leaders have been working up the ranks of the packs picking them off one by one. Their ultimate goal? Killing the alpha leaders of the biggest werewolf pack in existence-the Garoux pack and all their heir.
The vampire leader Mirella Desdemona had thought of going straight after the Garoux family the minute they had their first child as their judgement would be corrupted while fight by the need to protect the new born baby, but the council had over ruled it as they thought that the werewolf leader would be on higher guard and more aggressive with their offspringâs life at stake. So Mirella waited, waited for all three children to awaken the gene so they could fight on their own, All the while picking of the other packs, taking away the Garoux defence and man power biding her tie and waiting, waitingâŚ
Five years had passed for the Garoux family and in that time Lyson triggered his werewolf gene by early puberty. Though the family was thrilled it did mean they had to move from their motherâs home town in Spain to their fatherâs hometown in France. They were only steeled for about a year at the most when at age 15 Lark triggered his gene as well. At first the family thought they didnât have to move as he triggered it in their house (wrecking some very expensive furniture in the process) But lark had a very hard time controlling it, before his first change he had always gotten into fights because as his father put it âhe couldnât keep that big mouth of his shutâ but now he was fighting everyone left, right and centre no one had to hit him any mild insult would flip him out with bad consequences. So again the family packed up their bags and headed this time to Scotland.
The boys loved it there, Phade had bout a big house only a short while away from the hills and forests where they boys could go loping around in their true werewolf for hours on end without fear of anybody seeing them.
Back at the house Catalina walked through the kitchen into the living room, her long curly hair flowing freely down her back. She saw her husband sitting in the big brown armchair that nicely complimented the chocolate and cream decor of the room, the television was on but he wasnât looking at it he was staring straight ahead with a look that would make any man regardless of age looked old and worn down. But of course he didnât look old and neither did she, as alphas of the pack the were constantly regenerating their age. Unlike what everyday humans thought when the thought of regenerating you couldnât see it happening , it was more like mind over matter, in fact they had been physically 26 years old for the past 16 years. She and Phade had never bothered about regenerating their age until they had Lucian and that was because they werenât stupid they knew the vampires would see this as an opportunity so they had to stay young and fight and ready to fight and even though there children were 14-15 years old now they knew they wouldnât be safe until the war was over or more to the werewolfâs liking the whole vampire species was extinct.
Catalina didnât have to ask Phade what was wrong she already knew, She knew the moment she smelt the Scottish air of their new home, She could smell it even now and so could Phade the smell of stale blood hung in the air around them like a noose tightening with each passing day. It was the smell of vampires approaching, and what was worse their children had never been near a vampire so the would not know the scent until it was to late. Of course they were werewolves and deep down inside their DNA there would be a little spark which would flame up and warm them if their eternal enemies got too close, because that little spark was fear. The Garoux parents knew the moment they sensed the vampires in the area they should have left Scotland but the children had to at least finish school before they were uprooted again. Phade had wanted them home school but they were already detached enough as it was at their private school, they didnât need to break them away from a normal human society even more.
But the plan was made now once the youngest Lyson graduated they would teach them how to fight and hold their own against vampires after all werewolves were the better race, the one with the advantage in the war at the moment, and once the brothers were fully trained Catalina hoped the vampires would back off because with a coven of an unspecified number of vampires and five fully grown werewolves some territorial problems will surely arise, and the last thing both species need right now is world war three. She saw Phade relaxed as a relieved smile broke through his set-in-stone features âHere they come, theyâre fineâ and just like that her three sons ambled in the doorway out of breath from the run but happily chuckling away to each other about how they caught a deer and who won the race back.
Yes, they were fine, all of them were safe the vampires where making glacier-slow movements and in two years Lucian will be able defend his younger brothers along with his parents , but for now they were just waiting, waitingâŚ.
Chapter 4:Growing up
After the Garoux brothers finished school they had a couple of months to relax before their father broke the news. The whole family gathered in the living room as Phade stood up and spoke âLucian, Lark Lyson you all have grasped your Shape shifting abilities incredible well and ahead of schedule so your mother and I thought this would be a good time to break some news to you, you see ever since we moved here your mother and I have sensed a great danger trying to speak out this family and probably you yourselves have sensed that something was off. And we fear now that they may find us, we feel we canât keep running because every time we move to a different place large werewolf packs in that area are killed off to stop them helping us. So now that you are old enough to fight we figure now is the time to make a stand. Of course Your mother and I are not trying to pressure you into this and I know itâs like suddenly being thrown into a battle no one really wants to fight so we will understand if you choose to walk away, any pack will happily take in the alpha leaderâs son and keep you safe until the fight is over. If you want to fight meet me in the clearing in the forest later and if you donât want to fight then your mother will make arrangements to get you out of harms way. Iâll give you time to think this over but we have to be quick, Your mother and I think they are sending only a couple of hunterâs to seek us out for now so you wonât be fighting armies, but a war is imminent in a few years so we need to be prepared.â
Later that day Phade Garoux waited patently to see which of his three sons showed up. There was the sound of footsteps entering the clearing as he watch his three sons come into view and stand in front of him âAll of you will fight?â he asked raising an eyebrow he thought at least one of them would want to be as far away from the killings as possible â of courseâ Lark piped up âWeâre family if the vampires want to kill the leaderâs of our pack- you and mum theyâll have to got through the three of us firstâ Phade felt pride overflow him as the wolf inside him howled in joy, then suddenly in a flash he saw his three little boys standing in front of him barely able to walk yet and still exclaiming they âwant to be just like dadâ Well now here they stood before him, they werenât little boys anymore they were grown men ready to put their lives on the line ready to fight for their pack, for their family, for their species, for their freedom he chuckled freedom just like the Scottish hero William Wallace.
âOk lets get to work, now your animal wolf form is obviously smaller than your Anthromorphic form so youâll use that for stealth and hunting down the target. But we can do a lot with your Anthromorphic form, one slash from a werewolves claws and it will rip the flesh clean off, not to mention the jaws are powerful enough to shatter bones with only the lightest pressure, the paws can hold weapons and we are a lot faster than vampires, so we have those advantages. You guys ready to try them out?â
âHell yeah!â Lyson shouted fist punching the air his now golden eyes glowing with excitement.
The others nodded and change into their werewolf forms it was a quick and painless process by now. They all stood close to 8ft on hind legs, all black fur, all gold eyes just like when they were born anyone who looked at them would think they were triplets. Phade changed as well and a brown werewolf stood upright facing the three blacks. He bent his hind legs and crouched down wrists resting on his knees as he spoke his sons went down to all fours stretching and arching their spines so they werenât sore in the morning from this strenuous training.
All four began with a simple run which, thanks to a competitive Lark quickly turned into a race.
Lyson was in the lead followed by Lark, Lucian and Phade, The boys loved the way the couple feel every muscle in their body flex as they pushed their legs faster , If you saw them form a distance they might pass as normal wolves but it wasnât likely, their back legs were longer than a normal wolfâs making them look somehow gangly and clumsy as the forest rushed past them in blurs of green, and browns. All apart from Phade who looked magnificent as he leapt through the undergrowth, he could have won the race through experience alone but didnât want to out do his sons, they really needed a confidence boost, a feeling of indestructibility if the were going to fight in this war.
After the warm up run it was time to get serious. They began to train fighting at first with tooth and claw then with weapons in both werewolf and human forms. Phade explained that to win they would have to fight like animals but think like men, After a while it was clear what their positions would be
Lark was a born strategist analysing every detail able to use his werewolf eyes, ears, and nose to sense where they enemy was and which moves they would make before they had barely got the plan into their own mind. Lyson was pure attack he would prefer to go in head first now plan and destroy everyone in a slaughtering chaos . While Lucian was a defender he provided cover for his brother on attacking when needed, Phade feared that Lucianâs heart wasnât in this but after his horrible experience with his fists change who could blame him?
The boys had never used weapons before in their werewolf form of other wise again it was clear who was comfortable with what. Lark was very good at assembling the weapons and fixing any problem with them, he was able to take almost anything apart and build it back up again in no time flat. there was no need to tell you that Lyson preferred the big guns and snipers, he had great eyes and could shoot an apple off a very nervous Lucianâs head splitting it clean in two. Again Lucian was defence he would man the shields tend to the wounded and act as back-up, Phade took comfort in the fact that other more experienced members of the Garoux pack like his cousins and uncles and in-laws would take care of the young ones, after all they were all family. And of course he and Catalina would serve as leaders and other packs (the ones that hadnât been picked off by the vampireâs assassins) would also be their to protect their existence. Of course it would be for a couple of years if the vampire council had anything to say about it, you see they didnât want to go against their species better well fair though they had tried to start a war without warning once before with devastating casualties on the vampires side, because when they went in head first without planning they didnât no that the werewolves were ready to fight. And why were the werewolves ready for them you ask? Simple because weâre always ready.
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Its not a bad story so far. Although, you do need to work on some issues in spelling and punctuation (just as creative advice). The plot: young werewolves living in a time of war between werewolves and vampires. Its an okay plot, but it's used far too many times. Underworld, the Twilight Saga, and even some B-movie horror films that are so bad I won't list them. One of the things I really like is that you tweaked it to the werewolf point of view. The three stage of werewolf stories is interesting, but how does the werewolf on four legs get to the Anthromorphic stage?
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Agreed. As fan-fiction goes, this story is pretty run-of-the-mill. Your writing needs some work, especially spelling and sentence structure. Your exposition is both blunt and rushed, and your characterization is cliche. (Garoux? Lucian?) You also seem to be taking this forum into account as your only audience, and so you tend to use awkward terminology and matter-of-fact descriptions that would seem odd outside of the fan-fiction community ("Anthropomorphic werewolf" for example.)
As an example of werewolf internet fan-fiction, I'd rate your story a 6 out of 10. But if I were you, I would invest in a lot more writing practice before trying to tackle a legitimate novel project.
Last edited by Berserker (2009-06-12 13:39:13)
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i like it...
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thank you wolfblood17 and Berserker for your helpful comments. As I was reading it over i also realized my spelling & punctuation was off, also i realized I should have done some research on lycanthropes before hand. Though my story isn't just about a werewolf-vampire war that was just the starting story timeline for me, i really wanted to continue it in the same style but as i wrote on i realzied i have kinda wrote myself into a corner and don't really know how to continue it. I'll take your comments into perspective and hopefully use it to improve I'll let you when I figured out my story's struction a little more. Again thank you
xx
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not bad not bad at all it has potential
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