So yeah, I'm new here. Hello, hello.

I came to this forum because I've been struggling greatly with the whole lycanthropy thing my whole life and I was looking for some other people's / animal people's thoughts.

I don't know too much about this particular group so I don't know much terminology or any of that, don't hurt me.

How It Began: My mother was told by a medium (when I was about 4 years old) that I am/was an animal (never said what kind) and always have been. I apparently came back as a human against my will, but only agreed to return because my mother, whom I seem to know in the spirit wold, was going to be with me. My mother also told me that when I was born, I glared at the doctors and folded my arms, which makes me laugh to this day.
I also had episodes of hallucinations / "seeing spirits" up until age 12, in which I was spoken to and saw many strange human figures and animals (I recall one episode where a doe pushed it's head out of my mirror and said some small, muffled words to me, and sucked back in, leaving an outline of it's head made out of unknown fingerprints, which later vanished).

Call me Animal?: All through childhood, I have loved and connected deeply with animals, was fascinated by them, everything. I never connected much to pets like cats or dogs, but to wild things like...I dunno, weasels and possums, all the wild things out there that most other people didn't admire. I've struggled with depression through a large chunk of childhood, crying to my mother and saying things like, "I don't wanna be a stupid human".
As I got into my early teen years, I smothered these feelings and tried to ignore them and live like any other kid, since fitting in is so crucial at the age.
[I eventually just gave up and joined the furry fandom, thinking maybe I just REALLY like animals, but I know it's deeper than that.]
I have never stuck with a strict connection to one animal, such as some of you wolves out there do (which I am jealous of, don't get me wrong).

Instincts?: I do seem to have little instincts such as crawling, biting and growling/screeching loudly in fights, acute hearing, sensitivity to light, and making a humming / whimpering noise when I'm sad / scared. I can feel phantom ears that move as my human ears do, and a phantom tail which seems to slightly curl and sway with my thoughts.

I studied some Native American shape shifting from a book called Animal Speak. Of course, I tried using the wolf energy to start, thinking that was my animal since it's quite common. Over time practicing, I built muscle at random, sharper teeth, and became extremely hostile. I was wild enough to do something I would regret, but human-minded enough to be aware of this, which striked extreme terror and made me stop this procedure immediately.

Now here I am at age 18, the episodes and thoughts have been coming back. My burning questions both excite me and nauseate me to this day, and I need some help or answers.
Am I Therian of some sort? Any idea what my animal is? Am I just a crazy lady who likes animals too much?