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#51 2010-03-07 07:17:10

lonewolf13
Member
From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 160

Re: Wolf--Prologue

nice job this is awsome keep it comming
smile


"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist

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#52 2010-03-21 00:39:31

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
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Re: Wolf--Prologue

Chapter 4: Developments
   
   
The lights were flashing and sweeping across the room, swirling and lancing, brilliant shades of green and purple and red and gold. A disco ball twirled lazily in the middle of the room, throwing millions of mirror diamonds roaming across everything in the dark light of the dance area that had been filled with tables hours before. Dance music, a deep pulse pounding techno-beat, throbbed from the speakers that lined the room and covered the stage.
   
Cigarette smoke filled the air and the booze flowed freely as dancers moved in time to the music in pairs, solo or in groups. The din of the buzz of the conversations was deafening, rivaling the music for decibel level, making the floors shake with the faintest vibration.  The occasional shout pierced the conversation and music, often as revelers became too intoxicated to maintain any semblance of proper decorum.
   
In the booths that lined the walls, people sat, smoking, talking, laughing and whispering in each other’s ears. Some couples were kissing passionately and others simply sat, brooding, lost in their own worlds.

This could have been a bar scene in any bar; but it was not.

Every single person dancing, in the bar or on the stage, was a Werewolf.

There were shifters, some shifted, some not; there were full generation werewolves and all types all moving at once in time with the music, thoroughly enjoying the party.
   
In one booth, a female werewolf laughed loudly to her friends who sat across from her sipping on drinks while pointing and gazing openly at the males that they thought were good looking.  Across the room, a couple, two males, a brown furred larger male that was probably about the same height and weight as Max reclined in the lap of a somewhat stockier silver Werewolf with several piercings in his ears. The chocolate colored Were wore biker’s leathers and a wide black belt.
   
His shirt was nonexistent as was his partner’s. Dressed similarly, the silver Werewolf seemed to be the older of the two. The brown Were and his partner sat contentedly watching the party, their eyes lucid and peaceful. The silver Werewolf leaned his muzzle down and whispered something in his partner’s right ear; the brown werewolf began to chuckle and nestled deeper in the silver werewolf’s embrace.
   
On the stage, Ash sat behind a disc jockey’s station, wearing sunglasses and dressed only in a pair of jeans and loose black leather vest. His black stripe markings were vivid against the gray sheen of his fur and he stood out in the darkness and the flashing lights. His piercings glinted in the strobes. His band, similarly dressed stood behind him, working on various pieces of equipment, light boards and soundboards.
   
Ash worked the equipment expertly, never missing a beat.  Looking out over the dancing jumping crowed, he raised his arms and shouted, “Is this is a party or not?” He grinned wide, his brilliant white teeth gleaming, his fangs sharp and plainly visible.

The crowd went wild, shaking fists and giving various shouts and expletives.

Slapping his hands together, Ash set back to work, dancing along to the music behind his station.
   
Away from the larger part of the crowd, Raven leaned against the wall, her violet eyes taking in everything, motionless as a picture in a book, her arms crossed across her chest. She had changed clothes and was now in much more informal jeans that hugged her frame like a second skin. Her shirt was a deep blue that stopped just above her belly button. Her white fur almost glowed in the dark and her eyes blazed that odd electric blue, her upper face hidden in the shadows as she lost herself in thought, her right foot moving on its own to the music.
   
She felt torn after the day’s events and found herself continually drifting back to Brian Dorcy.
She found him interesting and there was no denying she thought he was attractive. He had something, and she couldn’t quite place it. Perhaps, she let her mind drift, it was the way he walked, or perhaps it was the dark masculine energy that he seemed to radiate naturally. She admitted to herself he had a cute behind and the front side of things wasn’t so bad either. She immediately felt stupid for thinking that. She was a professional not a schoolgirl.
   
Either way, he presented a unique conundrum. One on hand, he was an innocent man who had, in the course of the last seventy-two hours, lost nearly everything he had ever known in his life. He had been tossed headfirst into a world he knew nothing about, quite against his will. On the other, he was not born a shifter, if that is what he was, as she herself had been born. Nor was he a full generation werewolf, such as Max or Drako. He was a new anomaly and she did not quite know how to proceed.
   
All the medical literature she had read had never suggested that a human that is not born a Were could become a Were through a simple bite. However, she knew full well that it did happen. She had seen it a few times, since she had moved to the states; pompous fools who were too afraid to look beyond their own desks and stuffy studies wrote the medical literature.
   
Before her lycanthropy had manifested itself, Raven remembered the long hours in the emergency room working her internship, seeing  the worst humanity could do to each other, hell, sometimes what people could do to their own-selves or, worst of all, and perhaps much more pertinent, the lasting hand that fate could deal you in a moments notice.

Her mind decided to go down this particular memory lane and she let it, not paying any mind to it as she lost herself.

It had been late in the evening and the entire night had been slow; there were the odds and ends cases of panic attacks, fevers and one asthma attack, which had been dangerous. Even with the steroid shots and DuoNeb treatments, Raven thought the poor little girl was not going to come out of it but she did.
   
Raven and two of her other interns had been leaning at the front desk as the clock crept past two in the morning. The lobby was deserted; the janitors were down the west and east halls scrubbing the floors and occasionally, over the constant metronome of the ticking clock, you could hear the water in the pipes of the walls cycle. They had all stood there chatting in the white and green tile rooms of the empty lobby, venting steam, laughing. Raven had been wearing her favorite pair of green scrubs, her stethoscope slung over her neck, her long white hair hanging behind her in a pony tail, her fair skin soft and smooth shone in the lights and her eyes, amber gold, stood out vividly to anyone who saw her.

The doctors had never been able to tell her mother why a girl her age would have solid white hair; Raven didn’t care. She liked it. It made her unique.
   
Valerie, the brown headed intern that was the talker of the bunch, was about to say something, and to this day, Raven did not remember what it was when the emergency room doors exploded open and the sounds of screams ripped apart the pregnant silence of the emergency room ward. Turning, all three of them and the desk nurse moved to face the commotion.
   
In that instant, Raven saw through the open doors flashing lights, and then the paramedics came in, moving with their down to the wire precision, moving with a stretcher between them. She could not see the person on it clearly at first but she had heard the screams of the woman who clung to the stretcher as if it was the last light in the darkness of her life. She was dressed in a simple set of jogging pants and jacket, but it was all wrong, covered in blood and soaked with grey matter and dirt and leaves, her short curly brown hair wild, her face contorted in agony and the blind panic of an animal.
   
Her screams and sobs, a horrid cross between the wails of a banshee and the absolute primal range of the human voice box, choked and shrieking, they echoed off the walls, piercing anyone with ears.
   
“We were just walking oh god walking he’s alive make him live---“ her screamed words began to run together as the paramedics tried to move the stretcher away from her.

“Please, we need to get him into critical, mam, please let go. You can’t go back there!” On paramedic said, stopping, trying to move the distraught woman from the side of the stretcher. She clung tighter, her knuckles turning white, her pale skin smeared in the blood of what Raven took to be her boyfriend. As the medical technician shifted to try and move the poor girl away, Raven finally saw the man on the stretcher and her heart sank.
   
He was dressed in jogging shorts, a light jacket and what had been a brown shirt; his shoes were missing and his clothes were torn beyond recognition. His face was a mess, with blood running from his eyes, mouth and ears. The entire left side of the top of his skull was missing, torn away in a jagged gaping hole that revealed the ruined brain beneath; the gurney was stained red, and the man did not appear to be conscious, which was probably a blessing. The sight of his injuries finally snapped Raven out of her paralysis.

Instantly, she had moved into action, calling upon her training to do everything she could to save a life. Raven moved to the right side of the gurney and helped the remaining EMT roll it back into the treatment room, leaving the screaming woman behind, restrained in the lobby with the other EMT.
   
“What happened?” she asked as the other two interns moved to prep the treatment center. The tech moved out of the way while the three interns went to work. Over-head, Raven heard a voice page for Dr. Robinson. She could still hear the pitiful screaming wails from the lobby. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the woman still fighting to get to her boyfriend, tears running down her face, the blood drying on her clothes to an ugly maroon.
Raven’s heart went out to her but it would do her lover no good to be in the way.

“Someone take her out of here, now!” she barked, tearing away the remaining shreds of the poor man’s shirt. The EMT tech who came with her, Pemery by his name badge, stood stammered.
   
“The people who called us…said those two had been jogging…there was a truck, drunk driver, speeding…hit the guy broadside….threw him head-first into a tree…”

“Jesus Christ…Get me an AmbuBag, stat!”Raven commanded; Valerie moved off and within seconds was back with the ambubag. Raven tore away the seals and rapidly put together the oxygen bag. Fitting the mouthpiece over the man’s ruined face, she began to pump the plastic bag in and out, squeezing it like an accordion, trying to drive air into lungs that would probably never work again. “Stacy, get me the defib unit. We need to get him prepped. Grab the eppys first. You know the drill. Move!”

The short squat intern moved off as well, leaving Raven alone with the man who was nearly certainly doomed. Where was the damned doctor?!

“Vitals?” she asked Pemery who stood agape to the side. One look from him was all needed to know.

Raven looked at red-faced pale red-headed Pemery, probably a newer tech. She wondered if this was the first time he had seen anything like this.

“See if you can go help calm her down.”

“Yes mam.” The tech moved and was gone.
   
For the next few moments, Raven was alone. She tossed away the ambubag, seeing that it was useless. She moved quickly to chest compressions, with no results. The man’s brain had nearly totally hemorrhaged. His skin had taken on the pale white color of death and his veins stood out mottled blue. His body was already growing cold and Raven saw that no matter what she did, she was not going to be able to save this man’s life.

Despite her training, her dedication and knowledge, all of it was beyond useless.

She picked up the man’s wrist and felt no life in his body. His gray eyes looked unseeing to the ceiling and when Valerie and Stacy burst back into the room with the requested equipment and medications, Raven waved them away, her heart numb and in shock that in such a short span of time, a life had bled out right there, with all the best science to save him and still…she had failed.
   
She looked out into the lobby and saw that the woman was on the floor, on her knees, her head buried in her bloody hands, the two EMT’s staying with her, both restraining her and comforting her as best as they could.

The desk nurse and the other intern’s stood, motionless, looking into the room, as Raven herself stood next to the wasted man on the bed before her, her head hung low, hands resting on the bedside.

Failed.
   
For a moment, Raven felt completely dead inside; as a healer, she believed in the preservation of life, the well being of life…and to see this innocent man, cut down in his prime by a driver who had drunk one too many…was heartbreaking.

She looked up, turning her head to look at Stacy and Valerie.

She shook her head no twice, and moved away from the bed and closed the curtain, shutting out the world.
   
She walked back to the man and pulled out the chair from near the wall and sank into it, the cool black leather of the chair comforting against her skin through the thin cloth of her scrubs, feeling as if she herself had died. She had never lost a patient.

Not once.
   
She felt as if her insides had twisted inside out and her legs and arms were weak, shaking. For what felt like an eternity, she sat there, alone with death and then spoke aloud, her voice barely a whisper.
   
“I promised the doctor not so much as a splinter today, my friend.”

The dead man did not respond but simply lay there, already stiffening.

She saw that his eyes, cool gray eyes the color of new steel, were still open. He must have been handsome when he was alive.
With a tear running down her cheek, Raven reached up and gently closed his eyes for the last time while in the lobby, the screaming that had died down began anew, now more grief than fear and Raven knew that grief now as the loss of life, the loss of the future and she would never forget the awful bitter taste of failure, the stagnant film of it and the deep stabbing pain of loss.

   
Movement out of the corner of her eye brought her back to the here and now. Looking over towards the bar, she saw a tall figure move out of the shadows and step into the swirling lights. Her sharp eyes picked out the clothes she had recovered from Brian’s apartment and some things that Max had went back and grabbed from his garage earlier today; that old flannel shirt Max had, the white t-shirt she had snatched from Brian’s closet at his tiny one bedroom apartment in down town and what looked like a pair of Max’s old jeans and shoes.
   
It was Brian and he was still shifted; she had expected him to shift back by this time but it was in reality unknown how long he would stay in his shifted form. She had expected him to change back but the lycanoxazine may have acted as a delay agent, preventing the regression. Her own shifts were as natural as breathing to her and after her first change, she had decided that she liked her wolf form better…it felt right. She vaguely wondered if that was the real reason, not the drugs, that Brian did not shift back, despite his claims to the contrary.
   
As he stepped into the lights closer, she saw how powerful he really looked now that he was healed. Her eyes told her how tight the white shirt was over his chest and stomach and how, even in the baggy sleeves of the old flannel shirt, she could see the power in his arms. She noted no signs of his previous injuries and he moved with a fluid grace that was very nice to watch. Smiling, she found her eyes roaming his body from top to bottom.
   
Shaking her head, she watched him move over to the bar and sit down. She reminded herself she couldn’t get involved with him, no matter how cute he was. She needed to find out exactly what the effects of him being changed in the manner he was were; sometimes, she knew from the few times where a normal human was forcibly changed, it broke the mind and the person ended up dying, or worse, going insane.  So far she had noticed no ill effects. Raven told herself simply and she felt the duty to be clinical about Brian…but the more she looked at him, she harder she found it.
   
Making a snap decision, she decided to talk to him and just let off the stress from the day. Hell, even she needed a break.
   
And, she told herself, spending time with him, would give her a chance to study him up close.
   
He sat down at the bar, sitting wide legged on a bar stool, his tail hanging limply behind him. He started talking to the bartender who appeared to be…ah. Inside, Raven smiled. Poor guy probably had no idea who he was talking to. She approached from behind, and made a note to not get involved, chastising herself for even thinking of it.
   
There was no way she was getting involved with him. Period.
   
It really was plain and simple.

Last edited by ShadowWolf2010 (2010-04-11 22:30:00)


--Tony
"Woof."

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#53 2010-03-21 22:57:58

Army Grey Wolf
Werewolf Writer
From: Pineville, LA
Registered: 2005-06-04
Posts: 2088
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

good job


Author of Blood Bounty, Wolf's Release V2, Man Eaters (incomplete), Aaliyah (in progress), Offer (short story), Hide (short story, published in Wizard), writer for an upcoming webcomic/graphic novel series featuring Aaliyah. 

One of these days I'm going to solicit my work for publishing, it's just that my work is pure and a publishing company needs to be reasonable with content editing...

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#54 2010-03-22 04:24:06

lonewolf13
Member
From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 160

Re: Wolf--Prologue

nice job. keep em coming!!
smile


"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist

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#55 2010-03-22 12:25:53

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

Thanks! Any specific issues, questions, comments or suggestions?


--Tony
"Woof."

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#56 2010-03-22 21:12:30

Army Grey Wolf
Werewolf Writer
From: Pineville, LA
Registered: 2005-06-04
Posts: 2088
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

you make the reader certainly want raven to get with brian...but if it was me writing it, I would make that agonizingly complicated, and usually with cryptic results.


Author of Blood Bounty, Wolf's Release V2, Man Eaters (incomplete), Aaliyah (in progress), Offer (short story), Hide (short story, published in Wizard), writer for an upcoming webcomic/graphic novel series featuring Aaliyah. 

One of these days I'm going to solicit my work for publishing, it's just that my work is pure and a publishing company needs to be reasonable with content editing...

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#57 2010-03-22 21:15:12

ShadowWolf2010
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From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
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Re: Wolf--Prologue

Hmm. I like that suggestion. I've never actually tackled romance before in a piece. How would you go about doing that, Army?


--Tony
"Woof."

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#58 2010-03-22 23:13:02

Army Grey Wolf
Werewolf Writer
From: Pineville, LA
Registered: 2005-06-04
Posts: 2088
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

In this case you've laid it out already that the two are interested in each other.  Beyond that I think being silly about it, one or the other gettin clumsy in the presence of the opposite, bad choices of words etc...

meat and potatoes of it though, if your going to establish a relationship before continuing the arc of the plot either it happens now or it follows the plot where it fits, Brian can go about his own way in the plot or Raven can be there to aid his strength, on one hand you have the main character coming into his own the hard way, or change that as you've demonstrated and give him friends and a lover to strengthen him further. 

Later on this can be used for devices, kidnappings, family affairs such as kids or otherwise, you can stretch out stories involving engagements, marriages, miniplots in themselves for later stories.  I know, unlimited possibilities, but I think the best course is to establish the relationship now, at least in the sense that they establish each other as interested, you dont have to go alot further than that, itd be inappropriate to advance it further than necessary right now without going further with the plot.


Author of Blood Bounty, Wolf's Release V2, Man Eaters (incomplete), Aaliyah (in progress), Offer (short story), Hide (short story, published in Wizard), writer for an upcoming webcomic/graphic novel series featuring Aaliyah. 

One of these days I'm going to solicit my work for publishing, it's just that my work is pure and a publishing company needs to be reasonable with content editing...

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#59 2010-03-23 04:11:15

SilentStrider
Member
From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 432

Re: Wolf--Prologue

I love the possibilities your suggestion opens up, Grey.  You offer so many great ideas and it really shows what I believe your ability to make some memorable characters.  I look forward to getting to read more of your work and insight from the comments that you make.

Heya Shadow!  I'm sorry I haven't made many comments recently.  I think I have two of your story posts to catch up on, so I think I'll copy and paste them to my work email so I can read them on my lunch/dinner break.  I think it still goes without saying, but who doesn't love to hear it any way, your story is developing beautifully, and it's a very captivating read.  I think I said it before, but I'll say it again, your description of detail inspires me and helps me in my own writing too.

I know how you feel with the romance issue.  If you've never written one or read something with a decent example, it can feel like a rather intimidating subject to tackle.  I might even say embarrassing.  At least that's how I felt when I wrote my chapter four, of which I'm still trying to get more feedback from, lol.  If I could offer you any advice with writing it then I would say this; when you get to the scenes that involve romance, just write it the way you feel sounds right to you.  Don't waste time feeling awkward about it, and write it like no one else is going to read it but you.   If you can manage to tackle the subject with no feelings of restraint, then I believe you'll surprise yourself with the quality of what you've written.  That's how it felt for me.  One more bit of advice; if you're able to, try and write as much of it as you can consecutively, and with as few breaks in between.

I don't know if any of what I've said will help you, but then again my experience with writing romance is about as much as you have, so it doesn't make me the best person to offer useful insight other than what my limited writing has produced.  I can only tell you how things worked out for me.  If you want an example of a writers first romantic piece then check out my story at around post 70.  That's the beginning of chapter 4, and tell me what you think of it.

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#60 2010-03-25 22:45:19

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

Thanks, Strider and Grey! I actually went back and re-vised and proof-read the entire opening piece. Its now been tweaked and finalized. It reads better I think than the rough draft here and gives us more about the characters and flows betters. I'd love to have your thoughts and opinions, Strider. You can always email me at a_milhorn@ssprstn.com if you want to discuss the story, characters, thoughts, ideas and suggestions.

I'd like that!


--Tony
"Woof."

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#61 2010-03-28 14:42:04

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

I have re-vised and re-written on the story, adding over four more pages of new material through out the prologue and opening chapter building up Brian's character and making it more streamlined and I have to say it flows better now and is more vivid and real. I have went back and posted the revised editions and pulled down the old drafts so that the story now makes sense, and fits in with the new material which I added in the later sections from my notes, which cover the first 24 pages of the book.

I will continue to revise as I write more and as I do I will notify you guys.

SilentStrider and Army especially, and I hate to ask this of you, but could you re-read the story from the begining, to see how the revisions and new material work? I would be greatly appreciative. Any insight would be greatly appreciated! Please note so far only the opening prologue and the opening chapter through Brian falling asleep on the couch at max's just before he escapes has been reworked.

I hope these revisions help. I tried to work in more of my character's histories and backstories from my notes as well as taking in the suggestions and working them in that you all have so far wonderfully helped with.

What do you think?

Last edited by ShadowWolf2010 (2010-03-28 15:31:25)


--Tony
"Woof."

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#62 2010-03-28 19:07:06

Army Grey Wolf
Werewolf Writer
From: Pineville, LA
Registered: 2005-06-04
Posts: 2088
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

I went back and reread it, I think it's better, defines more up front so the reader is brought up to speed on the "writer's universe" pretty quickly.


Author of Blood Bounty, Wolf's Release V2, Man Eaters (incomplete), Aaliyah (in progress), Offer (short story), Hide (short story, published in Wizard), writer for an upcoming webcomic/graphic novel series featuring Aaliyah. 

One of these days I'm going to solicit my work for publishing, it's just that my work is pure and a publishing company needs to be reasonable with content editing...

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#63 2010-03-28 19:19:52

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

Awesome! glad the re-writes helped! would not have been able to make some work without input from you guys!


--Tony
"Woof."

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#64 2010-03-29 13:33:27

bdk336
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Registered: 2009-03-31
Posts: 277
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Re: Wolf--Prologue

I reread most of it but I can't remember the unrevised version well enough to pick out most of the changes. XD

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#65 2010-03-30 22:24:57

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

bdk336 wrote:

I reread most of it but I can't remember the unrevised version well enough to pick out most of the changes. XD

Some of the changes:


1.) Brian's backstory has been corrected and we learn more about him. We see that he is originally from California, where and his family used to own and operate a horse ranch.

2.) Brian's father was a motorcycle enthusiast, which is where Brian got his jacket from, the one that was destroyed in his first change.

3.) More detail on the environment and more insight into the political situaiton of the lycanthropes and society as a whole which let's us see how tense this universe really is, like a pressure cooker.

4.) We also get treated to a full tour of Max's apartment and see why Raven made the comment about him having a bad habit of pulling his own bullets out.

5.) I re-wrote the dialogue between Max and Brian in the garage and later on upstairs to be more real after I decided the original converstation seemed forced and the new dialogue seems to fit both men better and we get a feel for their world views if only in hinting.


--Tony
"Woof."

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#66 2010-03-30 23:31:06

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

posted the revised and final version of max's dream/memory.


--Tony
"Woof."

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#67 2010-03-31 01:32:52

SilentTerror
Member
Registered: 2010-02-10
Posts: 59

Re: Wolf--Prologue

Excellent story, it almost feels as if you were Brian. It's pretty incredible the way you explained the transformation scene I would love to see how you might do it in first person.... An interesting thought to be sure. Either way this is a great story that I recently just found and I wonder why I hadn't read it yet.


The few, The proud, The Marines. Semper Fi
Integrity first, Service before self, Excellence in all we do. -- Airforce Core Values
"In God we trust: All others we monitor" -- 5th Reconnaissance Squadron (5th RS)
"You'd be cocky too if your missile did MACH 2+" -- 2 LAAD (Low Altitude Air Defense) Battalion. Det 26 MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit)

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#68 2010-03-31 04:30:31

SilentStrider
Member
From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 432

Re: Wolf--Prologue

Forgive me Shadow, for not posting sooner.  I've been pretty busy lately and I haven't had a chance to re-read the beginning yet.  I'll have to copy it and paste it to my work email and hope I get some time here and there to go over it.  At the very least I promise to keep myself caught up with the current story.

Keep up the good work.  You are a phenomenal writer, and have a natural talent for telling a story.  I'm absolutely sure after you have this story complete you'll be able to find a publisher willing to put your book to print.  When you get to that point let us all know, because there's more than a few people here on the cafe who can give  you useful tips on how to go about it.  Who knows, maybe by the time you're going through it I may be as well smile  Fun, fun!  I think it's something we can all look forward to.

Keep writing, and I'll keep reading and giving you feedback.

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#69 2010-03-31 09:11:49

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

SilentTerror wrote:

Excellent story, it almost feels as if you were Brian. It's pretty incredible the way you explained the transformation scene I would love to see how you might do it in first person.... An interesting thought to be sure. Either way this is a great story that I recently just found and I wonder why I hadn't read it yet.

I may yet find a way to work that in...if anything else I may do it for fun as a one-off piece smile


--Tony
"Woof."

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#70 2010-03-31 10:32:51

SilentTerror
Member
Registered: 2010-02-10
Posts: 59

Re: Wolf--Prologue

It would be a very sexy one-off peice to be sure smile


The few, The proud, The Marines. Semper Fi
Integrity first, Service before self, Excellence in all we do. -- Airforce Core Values
"In God we trust: All others we monitor" -- 5th Reconnaissance Squadron (5th RS)
"You'd be cocky too if your missile did MACH 2+" -- 2 LAAD (Low Altitude Air Defense) Battalion. Det 26 MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit)

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#71 2010-03-31 19:26:57

wolfos
Member
From: ???
Registered: 2010-03-31
Posts: 19

Re: Wolf--Prologue

this is the BEST werewolf story I have EVER read!!!!!!!!!
it is definitely novel worthy!


p.s. I stole SilentStriders avatar image

Last edited by wolfos (2010-03-31 19:27:41)

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#72 2010-03-31 19:37:20

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: Virginia
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 477
Website

Re: Wolf--Prologue

Thank you Wolfos. I don't know about best ever but its taken years to get this far and some help from the wonderful people here to shape it. I sincerely appreciate your comment though!

On a related note, a reader recently emailed me with some questions about the Werewolves of my universe. Would you guys like to see a FAQ on my werewolves, aka physiology, history, etc or something along the lines of what JK rowling does by simply answering questions about characters that have not been addressed in the text? If so, what questions would you wanted answered? If not, that's cool too. I just wanted to toss that idea out and see if there were any who thought it would add more to the material already in existence.


--Tony
"Woof."

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#73 2010-04-01 00:59:12

SilentStrider
Member
From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 432

Re: Wolf--Prologue

I for one would definitely love to see a FAQ about your werewolves and how they fit into your world.  When did their existence become widely known?  How have they shaped the history of your world?  Also, how about some more info about what makes a first generation werewolf?  Was Max's parents weres or norms, and was Max their biological son?  Those are just a couple of Q's I could think of right on the spot.

Haha, Wolfos!  I see that my avatar appeals to you smile  For a second when I first caught a glimpse of it I said to myself "I don't remember writing that."  LOL

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#74 2010-04-01 01:33:57

SilentTerror
Member
Registered: 2010-02-10
Posts: 59

Re: Wolf--Prologue

SilentStrider wrote:

I for one would definitely love to see a FAQ about your werewolves and how they fit into your world.  When did their existence become widely known?  How have they shaped the history of your world?  Also, how about some more info about what makes a first generation werewolf?  Was Max's parents weres or norms, and was Max their biological son?  Those are just a couple of Q's I could think of right on the spot.

Haha, Wolfos!  I see that my avatar appeals to you smile  For a second when I first caught a glimpse of it I said to myself "I don't remember writing that."  LOL

rofl. youre such a fail silentstrider tongue


The few, The proud, The Marines. Semper Fi
Integrity first, Service before self, Excellence in all we do. -- Airforce Core Values
"In God we trust: All others we monitor" -- 5th Reconnaissance Squadron (5th RS)
"You'd be cocky too if your missile did MACH 2+" -- 2 LAAD (Low Altitude Air Defense) Battalion. Det 26 MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit)

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#75 2010-04-01 16:16:35

wolfos
Member
From: ???
Registered: 2010-03-31
Posts: 19

Re: Wolf--Prologue

I would love to see a FAQ about your werewolves. post a link to your FAQ asap

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