The Werewolf Café The Werewolf Café

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#1 2011-01-29 15:08:37

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Perfect Mate
Carmen Johnson was still getting use to her new place. She'd been in it for a few months, but was learning some strange things about it. When she was in town yesterday, she was approached by a woman who told her about strange things that were going on in the woods next to her house. When Carmen asked her about the strange things, the woman simply turned and walked away without a backward glance. Carmen watched her leave in confusion and curiosity. Shrugging it off, she went into the post office. "Hey Carmen!" Guy Davis, the postal worker said as she came in the door.

"Hey Guy!" Carmen replied.

"You got a few new packages today." he said as he turned and went to get them. When he brought them to the counter, Carmen saw that there were three boxes and one manila envelope. "Do you need help with these packages?" Guy asked.

"I can manage them, I'm parked out in front." she answered. As Carmen was getting ready to leave, a guy came in and as he saw Carmen, he reached out, giving her ass giving it a squeeze. "Damn it Karl! I told you to leave me the hell alone!" she told Karl Morton.

"You love it." he said with a grinned that was immediately lost as Carmen kicked him in the balls dropping him like a bad habit.

"Now stay away from me." she said roughly, turning to grab her mail and leaving. As she got into her car, she didn't notice the guy who had watched the entire incident, eyes glowing red from the sight of Karl grabbing Carmen's ass. He continued to watch as Carmen drove away, then in the blink of an eye was gone. When Carmen got home, she took the packages from her car and brought them inside. Then went back out to grab the other few things she had purchased in town when she had the feeling of being watched. When she looked to see if anyone was around, upon not seeing anyone she shrugged it off and went back inside muttering to herself not to be spooked so easily. Opening one of the boxes she got in the mail, she discovered that it was from her sister. Her sister had sent her some candy, movies, and a picture of her with her new hair style, which was short and neon pink. 'She finally did it' Carmen thought as she looked at the picture. Continuing, she opened the rest of the boxes, they were the books about vampires and werewolves that she had ordered.
   
    It was nine forty five and Karl Morton was sitting in his house drinking a beer while watching TV when something came through his window. He looked over in time to see what looked like a wolf. Startled, he was unable to move. As he looked at it for a few minutes he noticed it beginning to change. When it had finished a man was standing in front of Karl. "What the bloody hell is going on?!" Karl screamed in confusion, now bolder that the thing looked human instead of an animal.

"You need to learn to keep your hands to yourself Karl..." The man said too calmly for his taste.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Karl retorted in a macho tone.

Slapping Karl hard in the face the man growled, "Don't play dumb with me, asshole."

"Who sent you here?" Karl asked, starting to rise up, but was kicked back down.

"No one, I'm here because you need to be taught a lesson." the man answered with a wicked grin. Before Karl knew what was happening, the man motioned with his hand and Karl began to rise from his chair.

"Put me down!" Karl shrieked in panic. With a flick of the man's wrist Karl was thrown to the far wall leaving Karl laying there moaning. Karl looked up in horror to the man change back into the wolf shaped that he appeared in. He saw the man finish his transformation he realized what this man must be...he's a gently caressing werewolf! Just as the thought crossed his mind, the man pounced on Karl. Karl was screaming as the werewolf tore into his shoulder, ripped a chunk out of his arm. The last thing Karl felt were the werewolf's teeth sinking into his neck. When the werewolf had finished, there wasn't much left of Karl. Taking one last look at the remains of Karl, the werewolf turned and leapt out of the already broken window.

    It was ten fifty five when Carmen picked up the phone wanting to talk to someone and get the bad news off her mind. She decided to call her sister Casey. "Hello?" Casey said when she answered the phone.

"Hey pinky!" Carmen teased.

"Hey sis! You got the package I sent you!" she said.

"Yep. I love your short neon pink hair babe, you look sexy as hell" Carmen answered.

"It's not neon pink, sis! It’s hot pink." She retorted

"I love it. I bet you won't have any trouble finding guys to play with!" Carmen joked

"Well, the truth is I play with women now..." she admitted.

"What made you switch to playing with women?!" Carmen asked.

"Remember when Becky and I got bored that one day?" Casey asked. "We decided to fool around a bit and ended up having sex?"

"Yeah. I remember." Carmen answered.

"Well, after you left I dated men for a while but it didn't feel right. Then one day at a bar, I met a woman. We talked, and had a few drinks and had a lot of fun. After a while she and I went to the no tell motel and had sex. She wasn't as good as Becky, but she rocked my world just the same! After that night I knew what I wanted."

"Are you seeing anyone now?" Carmen asked.

"Yes, but she and I have an open relationship." Casey answered.

"Well, that's some interesting news! But I am happy for you. Whatever makes you happy. So when are you planning on coming to see me sis?" Carmen asked

"As soon as I can! I miss you so much." came the reply. "Remember when you told me that I should shave my pussy?"

"Yeah. But you wanted to keep it trimmed." Carmen answered.

"I decided to start shaving it when I met that woman from the bar." Casey said

"Really?" Carmen asked

"Yep the woman shaved it for me, just before she and I had sex. It was a unique experience and I like the feel of it being smooth down there! It's just so ...so sexy!" They continued to talk for a few more minutes, about their lives and all the things going on. When Carmen decided to hang up, she looked at the clock and was surprised to find that it was midnight. She sat there for a few more minutes thinking about the new path her sister was following, then got up and went upstairs to her bedroom. After she undressed, she went into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, she ran her hands over her head. 'Maybe it's time for me to change my hairstyle and color' she thought as she looked at herself. She looked for a few more minutes; trying to picture what hair style she would like the most. Giving up, she turned the shower on and adjusted the water temperature. After the water was warm she stepped into the shower and closed the shower door. As she stood there letting the water run over her head, completely unaware that she was being watched.

As he watched, he thought to himself she's 5'3", slim build, her eyes are bright green. Her whiskey brown hair hung so low that it touched the top of her ass. He loved how the light reflects so beautifully off her wet hair. His dick was becoming hard as he watched her rubbing the soap over her body, over her stomach and hips, lathering up her to supple breasts. His hard dick started straining against the front of his pants; he watched her scrubbing down to her pussy. After giving it an almost too long of a scrubbing, she rinsed and began to rub it. Causing his dick to push harder against his pants, making him almost in pain it was so hard.  When Carmen began to fully play with her pussy he took his dick out and began to jack off as he watched her. He came very quickly, jerking his dick several times while he watched her spreading and teasing her own clit. He continued to watch the amazing site even though he was spent. She began to rub her clit faster and faster. Throwing her head back, he saw her mouth open wide as she let out a scream unheard through the window. While she finished playing with herself, he began to get hard again. Watching her washing her pussy for a second time, he jacked off again. When he finished he put his dick back in his pants and turned to leave. Following the path he found, he headed towards his car parked on the road. Hearing some rustling off to his right, he turned and was surprised to find a man approaching.

    "Did you enjoy watching her shower?' he asked bluntly.

"I was doing no such thing! And even if I was I don't see how that would be any of your damned business." The young guy answered.

"That's where you're wrong my friend." The new man said.

"gently caress off asshole! I don't have to sit here and listen to this!" the young guy said and went to pass the man. But before he got two steps the strange man waved his hand and made the young peeping tom freeze in place. "What's happening to me?!" he screamed

"I want you to stay away from here. Now if I ever catch you watching her again you'll regret the day you were born." the man said.

"Oh yeah?! What are you going to do about it?!" the Young guy asked.

The man looked at him for a few minutes, and then slowly raised his opened hand. He slowly began closing it like he was squeezing something. The young guy felt a tightening around his balls he tried to scream out in pain but no sound came out. "This is only part of what I'll do to you if I catch you around her again." the man said with menace in his voice.

His voice returning, the peeping tom screamed in pain, tears streaming from his eyes, "Ok! Ok...I'll stay away from her..."

The man clenched his fist tighter, his hands turning white from the pressure, the young guy screaming from such an intense pain that there was no sound. Releasing his hand, the young man fell to the floor immediately assuming the fetal position, crying softly until losing consciousness. Leaving the young man, he walked away, knowing that once his balls stopped hurting the young guy would never plan to come back, but relishing what he was going to do to him anyway. Walking backwards he faded into the shadows to wait for him to awaken.

After regaining consciousness, the young man got up flinching at every movement, each causing pain to shoot to his head. He began limping down the path, doing his best to get as far away as fast as possible. He made it to the stream just down the hill, pausing from the sharp pain. Continuing under the bridge and into the creek, he was attacked by something that jumped out of the woods. He screamed when what was attacking him bit deeply into his neck. He felt a suction pulling all the blood from his neck, leaving him weaker and weaker. Slowly he swirled into death.

After the young guy was dead, the man picked him up and carried his drained corpse into the woods, after throwing him into a remote place, then vanished into a wisp of darkness.

It was twelve forty five when Carmen stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her head; she dried off, when all of a sudden getting a feeling of being watched. She told herself that no one else in the house with her. After drying off and she began rubbing moisturizer onto her arms, breasts, legs, and pussy, enjoying every second. She then walked stark naked into her bedroom. Removing the towel from her head, she toweled her hair off. Pulling a comb from her night stand, she started to brush her hair, planning on blow drying it but since she wasn't sleepy yet she decided to let it air dry so she stopped and went to get a drink. Going downstairs and into the kitchen, she got herself a can of soda. Taking into the living room and sat down by the window watching the stars. The sounds of the door bell ringing made her jump and almost spill her drink. 'Who can it be at this time of night' she wondered. Running upstairs she grabbed her robe; hastily putting it on, she went to the door. When she looked out the security window she saw a man standing there that she vaguely recognized. She had seen him around town before but didn't know his name. Carmen left the chain on as she opened the door, "Can I help you?" she asked.

"I was having trouble sleeping and took a walk through the woods. I was on the path at the bottom of the hill, when I saw a shadowy figure moving about outside your windows. Coming up to make sure everything was alright, I caught a young man watching you as you were showering." he answered.

"What?!" she said in shock, subconsciously pulling her robe tighter around herself. "I thought I felt someone watching me..." she said quietly to herself.”I gave him a good scare then I ran him away from your house. I can promise you he will never be coming back to bother you again." he said with a gentle smile.

"Would you like to come in?" Carmen asked politely.

"It's late and I am sure you don't need me to keep you up." he answered

"I'm not sleepy and could use some company." Carmen said.

The man shrugged and agreed moving to the door as she closed and removed the chain. "I don't sleep much so I take walks to relax" he said as he entered her house.

"Would you care for something to drink?" Carmen asked.

"Yes whatever you have cold would be nice." he answered.

"I have soda?" she said

"Soda will be fine." As he sat down she went into the kitchen and got a glass and filled it with some ice, she got a can of soda from the fridge and brought the glass and can of soda to him. Sitting down across from him as he said, "I've seen you around town a few times."

"Yeah I've seen you too, but I didn't have the courage to ask you your name." she said.

"I'm Savan."

"Savan what?"

"Just Savan"

"I'm Carmen Johnson" she said. "It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Same here. When I've seen you in town I couldn't help but stare, you're so beautiful." he said

"Thanks you're quite handsome yourself!" Carmen said

"Thanks" He took a drink of soda. "Sitting here I can't help but notice how the light is reflecting from your damp hair."

"I try to take care of my hair" Carmen said.

"That's the first thing I noticed about you was how your hair is just so beautiful when you're out in the sun. The light Reflecting off your hair is just...dazzling. May I touch your hair?" he asked.

"Sure. If you want, you could even comb it for me." she said with a flirty smile.

"Sure. That seems nice to me. Where do you keep your comb?" he asked.

"It's upstairs on my night stand." she said as she got up and went upstairs to her room. When she came back she handed him the comb she sat on the floor between his legs. He began brushing and stroking her hair. "If you were here earlier I might have let you wash my hair!" Carmen joked, causing him to chuckle. Savan continued to comb Carmen's hair for a while, when finished he lovingly kissed the top of her head with another little chuckle. Carmen stood up and sat down beside him. When she looked him in the eyes, she said, "Wow! Without a doubt you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen!" She jumped on to his lap, grabbed his head and gave him a big kiss, opening her mouth and trying to work her tongue into his. Just when he gave way, she realized what she was doing, she jumped off his lap. "I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me. I mean...I don't normally do that kind of thing!"

"It's perfectly alright Carmen." he said as he smiled at her. "For some reason I had the urge to kiss you too. I'm glad you kissed me."

"You are?" Carmen asked a little shocked.

"Yes. I was sitting here wondering how your kisses would taste and was so tempted to find out for myself." he answered

"And how did they taste?" Carmen asked sweetly.

"They were sweeter than the nectar of the Gods!" he said jokingly. "They were so good I may have to kiss you again! I hope I'm not being too bold but...what are you wearing under your robe?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering what kind of night gowns your wore." he answered. Carmen simply smiled. She quickly opened her robe revealing her naked body. "You look absolutely stunning!" he said slowing, still in shock at the way she just revealed herself. As he stared, trying to absorb the image, she began to remove her robe and did a slow turn for him. "You my dear are more beautiful than any masterpiece I've ever seen." he said as she put her robe back on. "I don't show my body to every man I meet by the way." she said

"You just answered my question Carmen. There's no harm in that!" he said

"I may have to see if we have anything in common..." Carmen said.

"Perhaps..." he said.

"What am I saying?! Someone as handsome as you are has to have a wife or girlfriend or something!" she said.

"Not a one. I'm just as single as you are."

"The women around here must be blind for you to be single!" Carmen teased.

"It's not that...I choose to be single. I'm looking for a certain woman." he said.

"Well then, maybe we should keep each other company. I think you and I should hang out."
"That the first good thought I've heard today." he replied. Finishing his soda, he stood up and said, "It's late and I must be going. Thank you for the drink and the pleasure of your company."

"I'm glad you caught that young man spying on me." Carmen deadpanned as she walked him to the door.

"That's really no problem, I hate peeping toms" he said. When he started to leave he wrapped his arms around Carmen and kissed her passionately, taking his time to make sure that she enjoyed his kiss as he grabbed her ass.

"Will I see you later?" Carmen asked as he started down the steps of her porch

"Perhaps dear Carmen." he answered, and then he vanished into the darkness. 'What a man!' Carmen thought as she shut and locked the door. 'Why did I let him comb my hair and show him my naked body? I don't even know him, yet when he was here something came over me.' she thought to herself as she went upstairs to go to bed. She entered her bedroom and removed her robe and checked her hair to see if it was dry enough for her to go to bed without blow drying it. When Carmen touched her hair, it was bone dry. 'That's strange' she thought. 'As thick as my hair is it takes longer than this for it to air dry.' After a few minutes she got into bed. As Carmen laid there she thought about Savan and pretty soon she drifted off to sleep.

It was ten A.M. when Carmen awoke; she got up and began to get dressed. She had finished brushing her hair. When she heard the door bell, she hurried downstairs and looked through the security window she was happy to see Savan standing there. "I hope I didn't wake you." he said with a smile.

"Oh, no I was upstairs when I heard the door bell." She let him in.

"I brought some breakfast." he said as he held up the bag.

"You didn't have to do that! I could have fixed breakfast for us!" Carmen said.

"Alright the maybe you can fix us breakfast tomorrow morning. How does that sound?" he said.

"You have a deal!"

"I brought bagels and cream cheese."

"How did you know I like bagels and cream cheese?" she asked

"I didn't. I just picked them up." he answered.

"I'll put some coffee on." she said.

"Sounds good to me."

Carmen headed toward the kitchen, ushering in Savan. As he followed her he couldn't help but look at her ass. When they got to the kitchen Carmen got the glass pitcher from the Coffee pot and took it over to the sink and began to fill it with top tap water. Savan came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck. "I know we just met last night but it seems like I've know you forever." Savan said as she rubbed the side of her head against his face.

"Maybe we were lovers in another life." Savan said as he held her. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"I do." he answered. Carmen turned to face him, the sat on his lap and beginning to kiss him passionately, her arms wrapped around him. As they kissed Carmen began to slowly rub her hips against his crotch. "I think someone's a little frisky." Carmen just smiled and began to nuzzle into his neck. When she smelled his scent, she was stunned by how good it was. It was like no after shave or cologne that she had ever smelled before. The more she smelled his scent the more she felt herself becoming wet.

As Savan held her he smelled the faint scent of her wet pussy. The smell alone was enough to almost drive him over the edge. He smiled at the thought that he was the one to cause this. "Would you like to spend the day with me Carmen?" he asked as he looked into her eyes.

"Yes I'd love to." she answered as he held her close. Savan began to kiss down her neck nibbling and licking down to her collar bone. He raised her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor. 'She wasn't wearing a bra!' he thought excitedly. Bending down, he kept kissing down until he reached her beautiful breast. Starting from the base he began to kiss and bite in an ever tightening circle. Once at the nipple he took it into his mouth sucking deeply causing a deep moan to escape her lips. After a bit of this teasing he moved on to her other breast reach the ever tightening circle. By the time he stopped kissing her breasts Carmen was so wet that she knew she had a wet spot in the crotch of her pants "I need to go upstairs for a minutes." she said, excusing herself leaving her shirt on the floor. She headed up the steps barely able to stand on her wobbly legs. After a few minutes she came back down and to Savan surprise he noticed that she had changed her pants. Noticing him staring, she said, "When you held me and I smelled you, I just started becoming wet. And, oh, what you did to my chest! My pants were just totally soaked!"

"I tend to have that affect on women." he joked. "I'm just glad affected you like that." He began to stroke her hair. "What would you like to do today?"

"Everything you've done so far has been wonderful! So whatever you want to do is fine with me!" Carmen answered.

"There's a beautiful place I like to go a few miles from here. It has a lake that I like to swim in." he said. "Would you like to go?"

" That Sounds like a great place."

"It is Carmen"

"Just let me go upstairs and put my bikini on then we'll head out!"

"Wait!" he called as she started to rush up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"You really don't need a swimsuit there's no one around for miles; I doubt that anyone other than me knows about it." he said.

"Do you wear anything when you go swimming?" Carmen flirted.

"I like to swim just as God intended...in the nude." he answered

"Well, since this is your lake I guess I'll play by your rules." she said causing him to smile. After a few minutes they headed out. "Did you drive here? Where's your car?"

"I don't live too far from here so I just walked."

"We can take my car, then. Do you want to drive?" Carmen asked.

"No that's ok. You can drive." he said as he went around to the passenger side and got in. When Carmen got in the car, Savan reached over and rubbed her leg. "I can see myself falling in love with you Carmen." he said. "I feel the same way." she said leaning over and kissing him lightly on his lips. When they pulled out of the driveway Savan told her where to go. After a while, he had her pull onto a graveled road. They drove on it until the road ended.

"We have to walk from here." Savan said. After they got out of the car Savan took Carmen by the hand and they headed towards the lake.

"Can we have sex here at the lake?" Carmen asked bluntly.

"We could but I would prefer to wait a while." he answered.

"Fair enough." Carmen said, trying not to pouting a little. When they got to the lake. Then, Carmen gasped in shock, couldn't believe how beautiful this place was.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I love it! It's so beautiful!"

"I thought you'd like it." he said. After they had undressed, Carman took a good look at Savan's naked body. He was lean; with the best sculpted abs she had ever seen. Muscular but not overly so, with a uniform tan that he either spent time working on or was born with. And his dick...

"You have a great looking dick it's not too big or too small it's just perfect." Carmen said as she reached down and started to examine it further, causing him to groan. Carmen stroked his dick for a few minutes. Suddenly she dropped it and started running towards the lake. "Last one in is a pussy!" she screamed. She was almost there and was starting her dive but Savan was faster. He was in the water before Carmen could move another centimeter.

"It looks like you're the pussy." he said with a chuckle as Carmen dove in and came up beside him.

"Well it looks like I am. I have a question for you; do you consider playing with a pussy's pussy having sex?" Carmen asked, just a slight hint of a smile on her face.

"As a matter-of-fact, yes I do, but it's not like us screwing each other now is it?" he answered.

"Will play with my pussy then?" Carmen asked. Savan just looked at Carmen, pondering just to make her wait a little longer. He suddenly wrapped his arm around her tightly and reached under the water and began to rub her pussy. Carmen just softly moaned. He moved his finger down her slit until he was right over her hole. Going in circles, he teased her before slowly pushing into her. His mouth went over her neck, blowing a stream of air from her collar bone to her ear. He was surprised at how lubricated she was even in the water. He began to slowly finger her, causing Carman to moan louder. As Savan fingered her pussy, he began to lick and kiss the side of her neck, causing her to teeter on the edge. When Carmen was ready to cum she tensed up and screamed. "I'm cumming" letting out a loud moan as she road that wave of pleasure. Savan continued to finger her until she cummed several more times. He removed his finger from her, despite the protestant moans from Carmen. He held Carmen as she panted. "That felt so good Savan!" Carmen said. After a few minutes Carmen went under the water and surprised him by rubbing his dick against her face and kissing and licking it for as long as she could.

When she resurfaced he said "When we have sex Carmen you're in for a great screwing!"

"I can hardly wait Savan!" He took Carmen into his arms and gave her a passionate kiss. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they kissed like this for several minutes. After breaking their kiss, they began to swim to shore to lie in the grass and dry off...

"What would you say if I told you I loved you?" Carmen asked

"I'd say I love you also but we need to take things a lot slower." He answered as they lay there. They drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep.

When she awoke, Carmen was starting to get a sun burn on her face, breasts, stomach and legs. "I'm glad I woke up when I did!" she said.

"I like that sexy tan you got going on, Carmen" he said.

"I'm mostly burn!" she said getting up. Running back to the lake, she dove into the water to cool off. As Savan watched Carmen, he smiled and thought 'She'd make him a great mate.'

Now fully cooled down, Carmen got out of the water. "Now you'll have to dry off in the sun again!" Savan joked.

"I have a couple of towels in my car. I'll finish drying off at the car." she said. She waited for Savan to get dressed, and then headed to the car. Before Carmen knew what was happening, Savan scooped her up and began to carry her to the car. "I can walk!" she protested.

"I know you can, but you don’t have to" When they got to her car Savan sat her on the back and went to get the towels from the back seat. He wrapped one towel around her head, and then began to dry her off with the other. Carmen moaned when he began dry her pussy. After Carmen was dried off he removed the towel from around her head so she could begin to get dressed. After Carmen was dressed Savan combed her hair with his finger, when finished he kissed the side of her head.

They got into her car, turned around, and headed back the way they came. "Thank you Savan for making this day such a wonder!" Carmen said

"You're more than welcome sweet Carmen." he said reaching over and stroking her damp hair. "Where would you like to have dinner?"

"My place. I'd like to fix dinner for you."

"Sounds good to me" he said. It wasn't very long before they got to her place. "I'll head home and shower then I'll come back."

"You can shower here." Carmen suggested

"Perhaps another time." he said as he started down the road. Carmen watched him for a few minutes, and then went back inside. Going upstairs, she entered her bedroom and began to undress. After she had turned the water on in the shower and adjusted the water temperature, she stood in front of the sink and looked at herself. 'I wonder how long it'll be before Savan and I have sex' she wondered. After a few minutes, she got into the shower and let the water ran over her head. Her thoughts about Savan were causing her to become horny and wet. She started to rub her pussy and moan. It wasn't long before she shoved her fingers inside and fingered herself hard. 'It wasn't as good as when Savan had fingered my pussy but it'll have to do, for now' she thought as she leaned against the shower wall, her wobbly legs barley holding her up. After a few minutes Carmen washed herself off and washed and conditioned her hair. After she turned the off water, she squeezed the water from her hair. Reaching out she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her head. After she was dried off she rubbed some moisturizer over her arms, shoulders, and legs and paid extra attention to her pussy. She went into her room and got dressed. After she was dressed, she unwrapped the towel from her head and proceeded to brush her hair. Looking at her hair in the mirror, she decided not to blow dry it. She gave her hair another brushing, and then went downstairs and into the kitchen. As she was putting coffee on, the door bell rang. When she opened it, Savan was standing there holding a dozen red roses.

"These are for you my dear." he said as he handed them to her.

"They're beautiful Savan!" Carmen said smiling from ear to ear.

As he came inside he said "they're not as beautiful as you dear." This causing Carmen to smile even bigger than before. They went into the kitchen and Carmen found a vase to put the flowers in. When Carmen turned to face him, he took her into his arms and began to kiss her passionately. "I had planned on staying longer tonight after dinner but my plans were changed"

"What's wrong?" Carmen asked concern in her voice.

"I got a call from a family member and I have to leave town for a few days."

"When do you have to leave?"

"Tonight but I wasn't about to stand my dinner date up!" he answered

"I would have understood." Carmen said.

"I know Carmen but I wanted to spend some time with you before I left." he said, causing her to smile

"What would you like for dinner?" she asked

"This may sound strange but do you have pizza?" he asked

"Yes I have several." she answered as she opened the freezer door. "I have several all meat pizzas, pepperoni, and just cheese" she said

"The meat one sounds good." he said. Carmen took two pizzas from the freezer she placed them on the counter by the stove, and then got a large cookie sheet. She opened the pizzas and placed them both on the sheet. While Carmen finished with the pizzas Savan turned the oven on to three fifty

"It doesn't take long for the oven to preheat. We'll have the pizza in no time!" she said

"When I get back we may have to move our relationship forward" he joked.

"I'd like that Savan, I want to make you happy."

"You've already made me happy Carmen." he said as he slowly taking his index finger and caressed her cheek. When the oven was ready, Carmen put the pizzas in and set the timer for twenty minutes. "I'm thinking about having my hair cut and changing the color of it."

"Why?" he asked

"No reason"

"I happen to think you're sexy as is" Savan said

"You do, do you?" Carmen asked.

"Yes I do. When I first saw you in town your beauty took my breath away."

"Alright then, I won't have my hair cut or dyed"

"Don't do it because of what I said." he said

"You're part of the reason I'm not doing it. The other part is I'm not real crazy about changing the way I look"

"If you don't want to change your looks, then why think about doing it?" Savan asked "I was bored with my looks." she answered

"I'll never understand why women want to change their looks when they get bored." he teased, causing Carmen to laugh.

"My sister has always said that she was going to have her hair cut short and dyed hot pink." Carmen said

"Did she ever go through with it?"

"Yeah. She sent me a picture of her with her new look." Leaving, she went into the living room and got it then came back. "This is my sister Casey." Carmen said as she handed him the picture

"Not many women look good with short hot pink hair but your sister look's fantastic!"

"Well, she's dating women now so bad news for you." Carmen teased

"To each his own." Savan said as he continued to look at the picture. After a few minutes Carmen checked on the pizzas.

"I think they're done!" she called as she got a hot pad and took the cookie sheet from the oven. After she sat the cookie sheet on top of the stove, she turned the oven off. "They need to cool before we eat them."

"That's fine Carmen, the longer it takes for them to cool, the more time I'll have to have fun with you" As Carmen looked at him, she thought to herself 'he's 6'1", athletic build, his eyes are dark almost black, and his black hair hangs to his shoulders. He's wearing a white long sleeved shirt, black pants and black sneakers. Savan took Carmen into his arms, kissed her as he rubbed her back and ass.

"I love the feel of your arms around me Savan!" she said nuzzling into his neck and inhaling his scent. When the pizzas were cool enough to eat, she cut them into slices. Putting three on each plate she handed him one. "There more if you want seconds. Would you like a soda or some coffee?"

"Soda is fine with me." Savan watched as Carmen got a couple of glasses from the cabinet and filled them with some ice. She got two cans of soda and put them on the table. After she gave a can of soda and a glass to Savan, she sat down she opened her can and poured some into her glass. After Savan poured some of his, he took a bite of pizza.

"This isn't the great dinner I had planned." she said

"Eating pizza with you Carmen is a really great dinner." After they finished eating, Savan helped her put the plates into the dish washer, and then went into the living room where they sat together on the couch. "Thank you for the great dinner Carmen."

"You're very welcome. It was just pizzas and soda, though. I wish I could have done better."

"Some people would think that what we just had should be eaten at lunch, but tonight when I was eating it with you it was a meal fit for a king!" he said while wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

"I'll miss you when you're gone Savan." Carmen said

"I'll be back before you know it!" he said as he ran his fingers through the front of her hair. They talked for a while before Savan got up to leave.

"I hate to see you go Savan..." Carmen said with a sad look on her face

"I'll be back Carmen I promise." Before he left Carmen wrapped her arms around him and kissed him like it was going to be their last kiss for all eternity.

"I love you Carmen"

"I love you more Savan." Carmen said as he started out the door. When Carmen walked outside with him she saw a Black 67’ Impala sitting in her driveway "Nice car!" Carmen said.

"Thanks I've had it for a long time." Carmen kissed Savan again and told him that she loved him again as he got into his car. Carmen waved as he pulled out of her driveway. She watched him until his car was out of sight, and then went back inside. It was eleven forty five when Carmen went upstairs and undressed, and then she got into bed. As she laid there she thought about Savan. It only took a few minutes before she drifted off to sleep.

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#2 2011-01-31 06:33:52

Dispater
Member
Registered: 2011-01-30
Posts: 46

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Tsk Tsk!  More than 35 views and counting and not a one of you willing to post any response.  Are you guys not ballsy enough?

I for one found the story so far to be a scandalizing read.  I admit when I first saw some of lewd terminology so early into the story I was stunned, but naturally I couldn't stop reading.  I like how the romantic relationship between Carmen and Savan is developing and how sexual they are without actually having sex... yet.  I want to read more.
I was kinda wondering since you entitled this as a story you and your friend are working on, how much of the work and what kind do you each contribute?.  Joint endeavors of storytelling has been an interest of mine and I often wonder how others make it work.

Last edited by Dispater (2011-01-31 08:25:13)

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#3 2011-01-31 11:41:46

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

I know I wish more ppl would post what they think even if it is bad feedback...lol...

Well my friend isnt much of a writer but she is a huge reader like me so she helped alot with some of the ideas to kinda get me rolling on the story! Not that im much of a writer either but its been alot of fun just trying and im really enjoying writing this story ive already began working on 2nd chapter!

I thank you for taking the time to read and post what you thought:)

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#4 2011-01-31 11:49:31

Dispater
Member
Registered: 2011-01-30
Posts: 46

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

I know reading is a huge part to becoming a better writer.  If you don't love to read it's nearly impossible to excel at being decent at writing.  I can't wait to read your next chapter and hopefully we get to have a glimpse of the central conflict.  I'm typing out some more to the story I'm working on.  I might have enough done to post tonight.  I'm getting close to typing out the first sex scene and I just don't want to stop until I finish it.  I bet you know how that feels cool

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#5 2011-01-31 11:55:25

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Yes i do lol I cant wait to read:) Your a great writer! and yea thats what im trying to work on is the conflict i have the idea its just hard putting it in the story just right, but im just beginning so im just do the best i can ill get better as time goes on! I may or may not have more posted today depends on how far I get:)

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#6 2011-01-31 17:52:57

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484
Website

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

While the content isn't exactly what I would consider writing myself, I give you kudos for going ahead with such controversial material. You seem to have a very solid grasp of who your characters are and they don't seem to hide behind any masks or false pretenses. Most werewolf stories that I have read tend to lean towards erotica and this follows in the classic werewolf vain very well, even though I'm not a fan of such writing.

You have a skill which is apparent. Keep at it!


--Tony
"Woof."

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#7 2011-01-31 17:59:25

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Thank you for the feedback! Im a big fan of erotic paranormal books so I decided to go that route in my writing!

Thanks again for posting your feedback though, I apprieciate it:)

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#8 2011-02-01 12:56:20

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Perfect Mate Ch.2
    Almost three weeks has past, and Carmen hasn’t heard a word from Savan. Why hasn’t he come back or called or wrote, anything Carmen thought to herself as she lied in her bed, where she has been for the past three weeks since Savan has left.

Carmen has tried to make herself get out of bed and even get out of the house but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She felt so lonely and empty inside, it felt has something was missing as if she had nothing to live for without Savan with her.

Why do I feel that way Carmen thought, I barely even know this man. I don’t even know his last name for christ sakes. But she didn’t care all she cared about was being with him around him. All Carmen could think about was the way Savan’s strong muscular arms felt around her small petite body.

She found herself getting very aroused, just by the thought of Savan touch. Carmen closed her bright green eyes and began to fondle she supple breasts, teasing and pinching her engorged nipples. The she started moving on hand down to her unattended wet pussy, all while imagining this was Savan touching and fondling her eager body. She began teasing her clit with one finger and teasing her tight whole with another. Sill picturing Savan in her mind she slammed her finger deep inside her, thrusting in and out. Then pushing it in as deep and she could wiggling her finger as fast as she could, massaging her G-Spot. Still playing with her nipple with one had, and her clit and G-Spot with the other, her body started to tremble with pleasure. She then came all over her hand and sheets. God I needed that she thought while starring at her bedroom ceiling.

Carmen finally talked herself to get out of bed, She went to the bathroom and washed her hands but had no urge to shower just yet. She headed down her stairs, grabbed her vampire and werewolf books off her granite counter top and plopped her butt on her couch. Might as well get some reading done, since I have all the time in the world she thought to herself.
She opened the large black hard cover Werewolf/Vampire book, I’ve always had a thing for sexy vampires she thought to herself. She was reading and of course was getting a bit bored she already knew all this stuff about Vampires. They were immortal, had super human strength, lived off human or animal blood but if they wanted to stay strong they would have to take blood from a human. Some Vampires even had certain powers.

Carmen decided to skip to the werewolf part of the book seeing how she didn’t know much about them. Wow werewolves are horny creatures she thought, the entire week before a full moon werewolves had a huge urge to mate. "I wouldn’t mind that" Carmen said out loud to herself giggling a little.

    Carmen jumped  by the sound of the doorbell. Savan she jumped up not even caring how homely she looked right now. She ran to the door and swung it open "Savan" she said excitedly but then quickly realizing it was not the love of her life.

"Sorry to disappoint ma'am" The man said.

"May I help you" Carmen said a little cold.

"I’m detective Lynk Stevens" The man said. Detective? Why in the world would a detective be at my door? Carmen thought.

"OK, so what can I help you with sir?" Carmen said not really wanting to invite the man in. She only wanted one man in this house and he was not it.

"Well there have been a murder and one person missing, and I’ve been going around town asking questions to see what everyone knows." "May I come in to talk?" He asked
"I suppose, cant really tell a detective no now can I?" She said hastily. "Probably wouldn’t look to good on your part" Detective Lynk said in a joking manner

As they sat down on the couch Lynk noticed Carmen’s book on the couch. "So, You into vampires and werewolves?" Lynk said with a certain spark in his voice.

"I guess, I just think their interesting" Carmen said knowing she thought they were more than interesting. Ever since Carmen was a younger vampires had always turned her on. She has always had sexual dreams about having hot, hard passionate sex with a strong sexy vampire. Letting the vampire bite her anywhere and everywhere.

"Ma'am?" Lynk said while waving his hand in front of her face. "You ok?"

"Oh, Um yea I’m fine" Carmen said noticing the wetness between her legs. Just the thought of vampire sex was making her horny.

"So what did you need to ask me detective?" Carmen asked.

"Lynk, Call me Lynk" He said with this sexy grin that sent shivers down Carmen’s spine. Stop Carmen she thought to herself, there is only on man for you and this man is not it. Who cares that he has these captivating deep sapphire blue eyes that have a tendency to draw me in. Or that his arms are extremely muscular, god only knows what that stomach looks like, and the tightness of his detective slacks clung around his manhood so nicely.

Carmen finally shook herself out of the little trance she had been in from Lynks looks.

"OK, Lynk what is it you want to know?" Carmen asked yet again.

"Did you know Karl Morton or Billy Jones?" Lynk asked while putting two pictures on the coffee table.

"Yes I know Karl, He is a perverted douche bag" Carmen said with anger in her voice. "But no, I don’t think I know this kid" Carmen said.

"Are you sure you do not know him?" "He was seen outside your house from a neighbor three weeks ago" Lynk said "I’m sure I do not know this boy, I may have seen him around town but I do not know him" Carmen said with a hint of anger in her voice.

"Ok, Well Karl Morton was savagely murdered in his own home, and Billy Jones as been missing since the same night Karl was killed" Karl explained to Carmen.

"That’s Horrible, I mean Karl was a jerk but nobody deserves to die such a death" Carmen said just as the doorbell rang yet again.

    Now who could that be, haven’t had one visitor for three weeks and now all of a sudden I’m being bothered all morning. I just want to be alone she thought.

"I have to answer the door, excuse me for one second" Carmen said politely. She headed toward the door. Lynk began watching her as she was walking to the door.

I bet she tastes amazing Lynk thought to himself.

Carmen opened the door, and hen got very week in her legs when she seen who was standing at the door.

"Savan!" Carmen screamed as she swung her arms around him. While she was hugging him his eyes went straight to Lynk and Lynks eyes straight to him. Savan pulled Carmen from him.

"What’s he doing here?" Savan asked not in very nice tone. "What? You know him or something?" Carmen asked while looking back and forth to them both.

"No, Just curious what another man is doing it your home" Savan said. "He is a detective, just asking me some questions" "But I really don’t think you have any right to come back after almost a month and be jealous" Carmen said with annoyance in her voice.

"My dear, I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long I had a lot of family matters to attend too" Savan said while caressing Carmen’s cheek. "I know you did and that’s fine Savan but why couldn’t you call or something?" Carmen said with a sadness in her voice.

"We will talk about this later" Savan said shifting his energy toward Lynk.

"First, I want him gone" Savan said while giving Lynk a dirty look.

"Sir, I’m a Detective Lynk and I’m asking sweet Carmen a few questions" Lynk said giving Savan this look Carmen couldn’t quite figure out. "I think you've asked enough questions, Its time for you to leave now" Savan said so coldly it sent shivers down Carmen’s spine.
"Savan, Stop" Carmen said in a muffled voice. "Its quite alright Carmen, I must be going anyhow, If I have anymore questions I will just come back another time" Lynk said smiling at Savan. "The hell you will" Savan growled at Lynk. Carmen quickly smacked Savan on the shoulder then escorted Lynk to the door.

"Sorry for that det.... I mean Lynk" Carmen said cutting herself off. "Its fine dear, maybe you should think about getting a real man though" Lynk whispered in Carmen’s ear.

"Lynk, you asshole you know damn right I can gently caressing hear you and if your not gone in two point two gently caressing seconds I’m going to break your gently caressing jaw" Savan snapped his eyes were blacker than black. Carmen couldn’t believe how he was acting it was so strange, they acted as if they knew one another and sure in the hell did not like each other. Carmen shut the door.

"What is your problem" Carmen snapped. "You need to stay away from him, I cant believe you allowed him in Carmen you don’t even know the man" Savan practically yelling at Carmen.

"That’s funny, I remember he night I met you, I didn’t know you and let you in" Carmen stated. "that’s different" he said softly.

"Oh and how is it Savan?"

"Because I’m here to protect you, not kill you"

"What the gently caress are you talking about Savan?" Carmen said almost a little scared.

"There’s things you just don’t get Carmen" Savan said

"What don’t I get?" "Cause I get that your a jealous asshole" Carmen said extremely pissed off. "I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me dear" Savan said giving Carmen puppy dog eyes.

"I’m not mad Savan I just missed you so much" Carmen said wrapping her arms around him and began to kiss him. Their kiss was strong and passionate Carmen didn’t want to pull away but Savan broke their bond.

"Lets go sit down Hun" Savan said. As they sat down on the couch Savan noticed her books. "whets with these Carmen" Savan said while grabbing the vampire/werewolf book.

"Nothing really, I’ve always had a thing for vampires and I thought it would be cool to learn about werewolves also" Carmen said shrugging it off.

"So makes you have a "thing" for vampires" Savan said

"I don’t know, I’ve always had dreams about making love to a vampire" Carmen said a little shyly. "It always seems so real, and when he bites into my flesh and begins drinking my blood during the passionate love making is like pure ecstasy, well in my dream anyways" Carmen said as she noticed the bulge beginning to form in Savan pants.

"Are you getting turned on by my dream Savan?" Carmen said with a grin.

"I am Carmen, So what would you think about your dream coming true?" he asked with a serious expression on his face.

"Yea cause like that would ever happen" Carmen said giggling.

"But what if it could"

"Why are you asking Savan" Carmen said half freaked out half turned on by the thought.

"Never mind" Savan said knowing she would soon find out anyways.

"Lets go up stairs" Savan said to Carmen while looking deep into you beautiful green eyes. She obeyed without even saying a word, she couldn’t help it she wanted Savan in the worst way.

They made there way up the stairs and into Carmen’s bedroom. Savan stopped Carmen at the foot of the bed grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her to his body and began kissing her hard and passionate. Carmen began grinding her body onto Savans wanting every inch of him. "I want you" Carmen whispered in Savans ear.

Savan pulled Carmen’s tank top up over her head revealing her supple C cup breasts. Her nipples hard and ached to be touched. Savan began kissing Carmen’s neck moving his way down to her engorged nipples licking and sucking them, teasing them with his teeth. He pulled her onto the bed his body on top of hers he was holding most his weight on his arms. Carmen noticed he was already naked, not even remembering him removing his clothing. But she didn’t care all she wanted was him.
He began sliding her sweatpants of her petite body kissing his way down her legs as he did so. Once he had them off Savan moved his way back up and stopped once her was at Carmen tight wet pussy. He pulled her legs apart revealing he engorged pink clit. Savan began flicking Carmen’s clit with his tongue in a way Carmen as never felt before. Carmen began squirming all over the bed until Savan grabbed her hips and made her stay in one place and he licked and sucked the juices from Carmen’s pussy. Carmen couldn’t bear it she didn’t to move she was ready to explode.

"Just let it out, my dear" Savan said blowing hot air on Carmen’s pussy. And she did let it go her body started shaking and she reached her first orgasm. She came all over Savans face and mouth.

"I want you Savan, I need you in me" Carmen said in a breathy tone.

"I don’t know that your ready for that Carmen"

"I am, please Savan please” Carmen begged. Every inch of her burned for him. She has never felt this sexually frustrated before. “Carmen you need to be sure of this” Savan said a little worried. Not knowing what her reaction was going to be.

“Now Savan” Carmen shouted pulling him closer. She could feel his hard cock against her wet and willing pussy.

Carmen reached down and grabbed his perfect cock and placed the tip of it in her tight pussy.

Savan hesitated no longer. “How bad do you want me Carmen?” Savan whispered in Carmen’s ear. “More than you will ever imagine” Carmen whispered back and with that he plunged his hip in and thrusting his hard cock deep inside Carmen’s pussy. They both let out a sweet moan. He was thrusting in and out at a good fast pace making Carmen moan louder and sweeter with each thrust.

“Do you love me Carmen” Savan said while looking into her green eyes.

“Of course” Carmen said while gyrating her hip loving every inch of his manhood inside her pussy.

Savan then started thrusting harder and faster making Carmen cum over and over again. He leaned down still making sweet but hard love to her, started kissing her neck then with a single second her extended his fangs and bite into Carmen’s neck and began sucking. Carmen’s eyes flung open in pain and tried to jerk away but Savans hold on her was to strong. Then it turned from pain to pleasure and she was even more turned on. She began gyrating her hips even faster against Savans cock with her sucked her blood.

In that time she came 5 more times. When they were done Carmen realized what had just happened and jumped up “You a vampire?” She shouted. “Not entirely” he stated.

“What the gently caress does that mean, you bit me and drank my blood Savan, your a gently caressing vampire!” Carmen still shouting, still in disbelief with what had just happened.

“I’m half vampire half werewolf”

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#9 2011-02-01 19:31:52

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484
Website

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

You know I've seriously toyed with the idea of a half vampire/half werewolf in my book as well but then I realized how much I hate vampires and decided that vampires have no place in my universe. LOL.


--Tony
"Woof."

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#10 2011-02-01 19:45:06

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

lol i actually like vampires and werewolves so it kinda works out for me lol

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#11 2011-02-02 05:58:02

Ridgewolf
Member
From: New Zealand
Registered: 2010-11-15
Posts: 92

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Is it wrong that i enjoyed reading this..? Haha

My only comment that i had; at the time of reading the first bit of chp1 it seemed very rushed into the bulk of the story. In my opinion you should add a little more delay to the story(?) before she meets savan at all.

But thats just me lol, i like a good build up smile

Keeep it going, you got talent!


Wolfs 'n' Minecraft <3

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#12 2011-02-02 12:01:46

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

You know going back and reading I felt as I kinda rushed it to.....Im glad you enjoyed reading it tho:) that was my goal lol!

Thanks for the feedback and for taking the time to read it!

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#13 2011-02-03 00:17:20

LandonOokami
Member
From: South Carolina
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 143

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

A very interesting story Line but it was a bit too rushed for my taste. If it's not too bold of me to say, I think it'd be good if you went back and slowed the pace of the first part. Give your characters room to grow on their own before getting to the central plot. Also try to be a bit more realistic. I don't think a strong willed, modern day women in a house by herself would let some random guy in her house like that at night. Your writing is good and I do like where it's going so keep it up. Mull over the idea of stretching out the first part with some character development though.


Werewolves run monthly
Swiftly moving through the trees
The prey meets their fate

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#14 2011-02-03 00:22:01

Dispater
Member
Registered: 2011-01-30
Posts: 46

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

I can't wait to read your concept for a half werewolf half vampire.  I think it's a cool idea but I haven't seen many examples and I'm not so sure how I liked the hybrid from Underworld.  I found myself wishing he looked more like a werewolf than... well I don't exactly know what to compare him to.  A demon perhaps?  Then again maybe the description in the book did the physical details more justice than the movie.  I wouldn't know since I never read them myself.

There's several places you used "has" when I think you should've used "had" instead.  I know it's hard being able to keep a story consistent with present or past tense especialy when you're caught up in the moment of writing it.  Just something to keep in mind in the future.  I also think if you do revise the beginning it would be more enjoyable to draw it out a bit longer and create a little more sexual tension.  I wouldn't let that sugestion bother you too much right now though and encourage you to press on with your story for now.  You seem to have all the basic elements in place right now and the only reason I would make any changes at this point is if you had any critical information you needed to mention prior to where.

Please write and post more soon!  I want to find out what happens next!

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#15 2011-02-03 01:21:21

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Thanks for reading you guys I love the feedback and I take everything you say into consideration it really helps me! Iknow the beginning is a bit rushed....and what I was trying to get with her just openly allowing him in right away was a strange attraction/bond she felt  too him but I do understand what you mean!

Im working on the 3rd chapter now cant wait to get it posted:) Thanks for taking the time to read and give feedback!

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#16 2011-02-03 06:36:10

Ridgewolf
Member
From: New Zealand
Registered: 2010-11-15
Posts: 92

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

hayden09 wrote:

Thanks for reading you guys I love the feedback and I take everything you say into consideration it really helps me! Iknow the beginning is a bit rushed....and what I was trying to get with her just openly allowing him in right away was a strange attraction/bond she felt  too him but I do understand what you mean!

Im working on the 3rd chapter now cant wait to get it posted:) Thanks for taking the time to read and give feedback!

I guessed you were working on that angle to some degree wink

Don't do a re-write anything, but Maybe head back and add a few lines that show the conflicts in her emotions and thoughts as she fails to understand fully why she (herself) is acting like this.
Emphersizing these details slighty should help to show the reader that something more is going on in this plot than just a simple love story...

Thats just my thoughts, if you care to use them i'd be proud big_smile but either way ill still be reading chap. 3 when its posted!!

*any spelling mistakes; blame my iPod lol >.<


Wolfs 'n' Minecraft <3

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#17 2011-02-03 11:47:00

The Busboy
Administrator
From: USA
Registered: 2004-06-08
Posts: 18057

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Just a quick note regarding the story to please stay at a "G" rating so everyone can enjoy the site.

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#18 2011-02-03 12:37:02

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

I will very much use yor ideas Ridgewolf, thats what helps one to become a better writer:) Im just glad ur taking to time to read my story:)

But I think im going to have to take story down and post else where but this story is far from a "G" rating and I personally dont want to make it one!

I do understand where ur coming from tho bushboy thats why Ill stop posting and find a site that allows my kind of writing!

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#19 2011-02-03 12:42:04

Dispater
Member
Registered: 2011-01-30
Posts: 46

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Please let me know where you find one, and I'll join you.

I'll let those of you who want to continue reading our stories know where we wind up.

I'm almost ready to add another addition to chapter 2.

Last edited by Dispater (2011-02-03 12:42:39)

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#20 2011-02-03 12:47:01

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

I will do that, cause i would love for you guys to keep reading my story:) I love the feedback!

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#21 2011-02-03 12:52:17

Dispater
Member
Registered: 2011-01-30
Posts: 46

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

I'll give you a little incentive.  As soon as you find a site I'll add my newest post. big_smile

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#22 2011-02-03 12:56:18

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

lol...I think lushstories.com will be a good site to post!

There is alot of sex ads on the site but as long as that dont bother you, you will be fine lol!!!!

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#23 2011-02-03 12:57:38

Dispater
Member
Registered: 2011-01-30
Posts: 46

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Cool!  I'll go ahead and check it out.

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#24 2011-02-03 12:58:50

hayden09
Member
Registered: 2011-01-27
Posts: 58

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

kk:) btw my name will be inkpoison on it just so ya know!

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#25 2011-02-03 13:02:42

Dispater
Member
Registered: 2011-01-30
Posts: 46

Re: Story a friend and I are writing! 18+ ADULT CONTENT Ch.1

Awesome!  I'm going to keep mine the same.

I'm checking it out right now trying to figure out how to navigate it begin posting.

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