Dira wrote:

Ok first off, Do your synopsis like this

Chapter 1:

He/she runs away from bigfoot... explain.... reason for running

I'd be willing to write the story for you. But since your trying to write it, I'd like you to write down each chapter and what should happen in each of them.

I take it it is a winter story and epic also, but your main character doesn't die. So It's just a winter story. With a possibly twist of trying to get victory after all the horror at the end of the story.

OK:

Chapter 1 synopsis: Doug the Pumonca is planning for a nice weekend to go up to Big Bear mountain so he can hunt. His human friend from church group is trying to drag him along to be a counsellor for a winter camp for the junior high youth group. He is not happy about having to spend his weekend supervising angsty teenagers,

Chapter 2 synopsis: After realizing that his motorcycle isn't allowed on the mountain road, Doug must share a ride with his friend and his youth group section. His friend starts rambling on and on about Bigfoot has been sighted there. The youth group section makes fun of Doug's cat jewelery, and cat canine necklace.

Chapter 3 synopsis: Much to Doug's relief, they arrive at the campsite a few hours later. After orientation and forcing Doug to partcipiate in some team games, Doug spends his time at the soft-serve ice cream shop, filling up a 64 oz soda cup wth delicious chocolate ice cream, and playing on his smartphone. He wishes he could go sledding, or on a hike, bu the places he enjoys going are said to be too dangerous for the kids, and the kids need to be with their leader at all time. Night comes, and the group leader says it's time to gather around the campfire for the Bible lesson. This incenses Doug, as he knows the group leader can't interpret the Bible for beans, and he'll have to spend a few hours undoing the damage on his group during quiet time.

Chapter 4: During singing, Doug hears a rustling and foot stomping sound from far away in the woods. He realizes that his friend's stories of Bigfoot are true, and tries to warn the group, but no-one believes him, because they don't have his sensitive hearing. A few minutes ater, Bigfoot crashes through the timberline, throwing rocks and screaming. The leader goes and gets his 12 ga semi-auto shotgun, and Doug tell them he'll go off to get the rangers. Bigfoot pursues him.

Chapter 5: Once Bigfoot has chased Doug somewhat away, Doug quickly spins around, and shifts into Crinos. His leather jacket, boots, shirt, and jeans rip partially, his fur is reddish-brown, and he stands at 8.5', a head taller than Bigfoot. Doug unsheaths his claws, bares his teeth, and hisses loudly. Bigfoot throws a rock, but Doug leaps over it, and slashes its face, the force of the impact sending Bigfoot reeling. Bigfoot flees back the way it chased Doug, with Doug in hot pursuit, snarling and hissing.

Chapter 6: Bigfoot ends up running back into the campfire site. The group sees Bigfoot running in terror with deep gashes on its face, and wonder what on earth could do that to a Bigfoot. Doug leaps onto its back and begins to bite through it's neck to kill it. However, delirium takes over the group, and the leader shoots Doug in the shoulder with the shotgun, and the blast knocks him to the ground.

Chapter 7: Bigfoot starts attacking Doug on the ground, but Doug unsheaths his foot claws and slashes it's abdomen. He then pushes Bigfoot off of him, and pins him to the rock face, and finishes it off by biting through it's neck. He sees that the group has long since fled, and he shifts back into human form to look for them.

Chapter 8. Doug finally finds them at the ranger station. He is disheveled and his clothes are ripped and torn. A group member hugs him saying that they found ripped portions of his clothing in the woods, and thought Bigfoot killed him. Doug tells them he fell down an embankment while running away. But then they notice his boots look like they were ripped from the inside, and begin asking very uncomfortable questions, which Doug evades and changes the subject. They later end up on 60 Minutes sharing their Bigfoot story, and Doug trying to come up with some explanation of what happened that doesn't reveal he's a werecat.

How's that?

Dira wrote:

Marvelous! I think you've got the stuff to write this. So you want someone else to write it? Or just need some pointers. I'd be glad to teach you how to add some facinating detail.

Personally, I'd like to write this myself, but if someone would like to take a crack a fleshing it out, they may. Teach me how to add some fascinating details.

That'd be good, but that'd make it somewhat too complicated. This story is a short one. Also, no-one but Doug and his family and his very close friend knows he's a Pumonca; all anyone else knows is that he really loves cats, especially mountain lions. And the church isn't some old cathedral; he's not Catholic, he's Protestant.

Anyway, this really isn't supossed to be some grave story, this is supposed to be more of fast-paced action/monster story.

And Doug is young, early 30s. His family knows he's a werecougar, and his friend found out when they were out hiking, and came across a pack of werewolves, which went on the offensive. Since werecougars are more muscular, somewhat larger, posess razor-sharp  claws rather than claws dulled from use, and quicker reflexes than werewolves, he quickly killed several pack members, and severely injured the rest, which fled in sheer terror. He laughed, saying that any creature foolish enough to attack a Pumonca deserves to be taken out of the gene pool. His friend is indebted to him, and keeps his secret (not that there's anyone to keep it from, most of the people he interacts with either know due to family ties, or would never think to ask such questions). Doug is somewhat arrogant in thinking that he is the "King of the Mountains," as his friend points out "if you met a werebear, you'd be sliced into pieces as fast as you can hiss." His friend also says "You know, you really can't call yourself 'King of the Mountains' if you only visit your 'territory' once or twice a year and spend the rest of it reading MRIs in your A/C'ed home office while listening to death metal." Overall, though, he's quite friendly, though sometimes secret, but for no good reason, which leads people to become slightly suspicious of him, e.g. he always shuts his laptop lid when anyone comes into the room, leading certain people to suspect him of being a porn addict, but when they think they've caught him in the act, they're disappointed when the images on his screens were just trauma CTs.

Dira wrote:

Protoman2050 wrote:

Dira wrote:

Ok first off, Do your synopsis like this

Chapter 1:

He/she runs away from bigfoot... explain.... reason for running

I'd be willing to write the story for you. But since your trying to write it, I'd like you to write down each chapter and what should happen in each of them.

I take it it is a winter story and epic also, but your main character doesn't die. So It's just a winter story. With a possibly twist of trying to get victory after all the horror at the end of the story.

OK:

Chapter 1 synopsis: Doug the Pumonca is planning for a nice weekend to go up to Big Bear mountain so he can hunt. His human friend from church group is trying to drag him along to be a counsellor for a winter camp for the junior high youth group. He is not happy about having to spend his weekend supervising angsty teenagers,

First off, does your character live alone in a house, a mansion and pretends that his family is away on their 30th honeymoon. He tells them each day that their still away, for years he's had this reliable source his best friend, and this best friend wouldn't tell a soul. Since he is all church like, you can say your main character has the ability but at first he turns into the creature, his best friend is terrified. But locks the main character away in a basement of the church where the dead fathers lived who took care of the church. You can write this as a front to introduce him as a werepanthera. with years of being a pomonica he eases up and opens up to his best friend, or friend who will become a relaible person. Thus the "friend" who can either become mortal enemies by being bitten by something else and blames the main character for not protecting him. The panther main character eventaully finds his friend at a bottom of a ravigne, drags him into his abode, and then his friend later explains that he's sorry that he understands that "you can't control what is inside unless you have help. taking up the lead to find the creature that did this to his friend, his friend is at school and explains to Doug, that there is a mountainroad expedition. on a funny note, when Doug's friend mentions big foot attacked him, Doug laughs, and sees that it looks like his friend had a drunk night out on town the day before.

Chapter 2 synopsis: After realizing that his motorcycle isn't allowed on the mountain road, Doug must share a ride with his friend and his youth group section. His friend starts rambling on and on about Bigfoot has been sighted there. The youth group section makes fun of Doug's cat jewelery, and cat canine necklace.

Chapter 3 synopsis: Much to Doug's relief, they arrive at the campsite a few hours later. After orientation and forcing Doug to partcipiate in some team games, Doug spends his time at the soft-serve ice cream shop, filling up a 64 oz soda cup wth delicious chocolate ice cream, and playing on his smartphone. He wishes he could go sledding, or on a hike, bu the places he enjoys going are said to be too dangerous for the kids, and the kids need to be with their leader at all time. Night comes, and the group leader says it's time to gather around the campfire for the Bible lesson. This incenses Doug, as he knows the group leader can't interpret the Bible for beans, and he'll have to spend a few hours undoing the damage on his group during quiet time.

Chapter 4: During singing, Doug hears a rustling and foot stomping sound from far away in the woods. He realizes that his friend's stories of Bigfoot are true, and tries to warn the group, but no-one believes him, because they don't have his sensitive hearing. A few minutes ater, Bigfoot crashes through the timberline, throwing rocks and screaming. The leader goes and gets his 12 ga semi-auto shotgun, and Doug tell them he'll go off to get the rangers. Bigfoot pursues him.

Chapter 5: Once Bigfoot has chased Doug somewhat away, Doug quickly spins around, and shifts into Crinos. His leather jacket, boots, shirt, and jeans rip partially, his fur is reddish-brown, and he stands at 8.5', a head taller than Bigfoot. Doug unsheaths his claws, bares his teeth, and hisses loudly. Bigfoot throws a rock, but Doug leaps over it, and slashes its face, the force of the impact sending Bigfoot reeling. Bigfoot flees back the way it chased Doug, with Doug in hot pursuit, snarling and hissing.

Chapter 6: Bigfoot ends up running back into the campfire site. The group sees Bigfoot running in terror with deep gashes on its face, and wonder what on earth could do that to a Bigfoot. Doug leaps onto its back and begins to bite through it's neck to kill it. However, delirium takes over the group, and the leader shoots Doug in the shoulder with the shotgun, and the blast knocks him to the ground.

Chapter 7: Bigfoot starts attacking Doug on the ground, but Doug unsheaths his foot claws and slashes it's abdomen. He then pushes Bigfoot off of him, and pins him to the rock face, and finishes it off by biting through it's neck. He sees that the group has long since fled, and he shifts back into human form to look for them.

Chapter 8. Doug finally finds them at the ranger station. He is disheveled and his clothes are ripped and torn. A group member hugs him saying that they found ripped portions of his clothing in the woods, and thought Bigfoot killed him. Doug tells them he fell down an embankment while running away. But then they notice his boots look like they were ripped from the inside, and begin asking very uncomfortable questions, which Doug evades and changes the subject. They later end up on 60 Minutes sharing their Bigfoot story, and Doug trying to come up with some explanation of what happened that doesn't reveal he's a werecat.

How's that?

Dira wrote:

His mother might think either giving him the ultimatum of choosing the job for forensics, or she has a slight idea of him having a fetish with something-- like cats, that could bother her the whole time-- like necrofeliacs... but leave the idea out like that. Ok, so. Here is some ideas, define your character, what does he look like? Is there any noticable markings? Anything happen to him when he was a small kid, was he born a werepanther. Would the cat be out of the bag at the end of the story. Or would there be something like witch craft done on this boy to change him into the creature he became. Would the creature be a threat to his own scout group? What color hair has he? What is his personality like, does his eyes stay the same color when he changes, or does his eyes glow like the sun in the dark of the night? Does this cat have any long fur running down his back in tresses of fur hanging. After he changes he'd posssibly have a bit of uncontrolable fierce nature. So I take it your character has a fierce nature inside of him, but some control over changing form, does he change in the morning star, the moon, remember the moon can also stay out during the mornings, has he ever had a past of hurting someone close to him?

Once, when he was in middle school, he saw one of his classmates getting beaten up by a schoolyard bully for being nerdy. His eyes glowed golden, a change from their normal dark brown, his canines sharpened, and his fingernails grew long and pointed. He snuck up behind the bully, and pounced on him and bit his neck, which caused him to let the kid go. However, the fall ended up breaking the bully's neck. The kid thanked him, and became his best friend to this day. But the principal expelled Doug that day, telling him "Yes, what that bully did was horrible and we will punish him. But you have posed a danger to the well-being of the students, and for that we must expell you." Doug went home crying to his mother, who comforted her kitten, and told him he is of a long lineage of werecougars called Pumoncas. He was then homeschooled for the remainder of his education until university, and his mother taught him, along with academics, how to hunt and stalk prey and people, and how to survive up in the rugged mountains.

After university, he went to medical school, and trained as a diagnostic radiologist, which allows him to pretty much control his own schedule and work from home. Since he's really a cat, and he loves solving puzzles and hunting, so the specialty is a good fit for him. As well as he gets to work in the dark and pretty much alone. He hates having to work as part of a team, since "most people today either keep trying to pass the buck, or are control freaks. I feel sorry for my oncologist friends, who can't make a single decision without a committee. Stop weighing options and act!"

He has somewhat lightly tanned skin with mahogany hair, the same color as his fur in his werecougar form. He has white gold piercings and dresses in dark metal band T-shirts, dark blue jeans, leather boots, and wears a leather jacket. He wears black plastic glasses, and his hair is wavy and gelled-up.

While in his regular human form, he enjoys making witty banter, talking about bad movies, and enjoys having a good time. He also enjoys making light fun of his clinician colleagues "thinking the CT scanner is a substitute for critical thinking and clinical skills, although I'm quite grateful for the easy money." Although if you get in his way or try to hurt him or his friends, he'll quickly make you regret that.

While in his werecougar form, which he can shift into whenever he wishes, or automatically upon severe stress, he becomes fiercer and more bloodlusty. While in the heat of a fight, he may have some trouble differentiating between friend and foe, although his friends tend to have long since fled the scene for safety, so this doesn't really come up. His hair does trail down to his neck in tresses in this form, somewhat like a mane.

LOL, the cat wouldn't really be out of the bag, as those who do see him shift will likely be placed in the same category as UFO-abductees: absolutely crazy. Or think it's a bad dream, etc.

Last edited by Protoman2050 (2011-07-12 02:16:18)

At some stage the main character would probably fall asleep, would he faint each time when he is finished with his foe. So I take it he changes with emotions, and protetive nature, Let see, if one of his classmates would they try to fight him in this form, or would they all run in fear, does your character react to fear? So when he is at his home I think he only shuts out people that he doesn't know, or those who don't know him. Plus I think this is a good start for a story yours. Just pick or take or leave what you think would fit best.

Last edited by Dira (2011-07-12 07:49:55)

Dira wrote:

Please write the start of the story and I'll help you out.

I'll have it done in a few days.

MarkOne wrote:

Good luck with this Protoman. Sounds like a good story concept.

Seriously? Has anyone done a Bigfoot vs Were movie or story before?

Why do I keep thinking I'm a terrible writer, despite everyone saying I'm quite a bit better than I think. Maybe it's because of a former friend I had (I broke up with him because he was a liar and his mom stole books from us) who kept putting my acheivements down, yet lorded his doing a UROP at USC and being a the only student Program Director at community college (he's a glorified file clerk..."I reorganized the filing system" is not much of an acheivement). Well, I'll be going to University of Leeds in the UK this September to study Microbiology with Immunology, which includes a year-long work placement in a biotechnology company, and a leading parasite immunologist there offered to let me do my final year research project in his lab. So ha!

Do you think a solitary werecougar could route a pack of five werewolves?

Last edited by Protoman2050 (2011-07-13 04:58:25)

I've written a book about a Were panther verses a chupacabra

Here's the first act of my story, enjoy! (Why isn't there a way to upload files here?)

Why is my family obsessed with Bigfoot? And why on earth must every camping trip turn into a “Search for Bigfoot�? I used to ask those questions when I was younger. But last year, on a winter vacation with our extended family, I discovered the truth. And they discovered just why I have an inexplicable obsession with cats, especially mountain lions.

Doug and his family are out on a camping trip in snowy Big Bear. His Aunt Kathy is in a vicious snowball fight with his little cousin Abashai, his Mom and older cousins Heidi and Jodie are out on a hiking trip, and he and his Uncle Kirk are trying to make a fire.

“Why can’t I pick what we’re going to eat tonight? I’m a great chef,â€� Doug whined at Kirk while trying to figure out how to operate the lighter. “Yes, you are, but we can’t eat meat all the time, we need variety. And I really don’t want to feed my family the meat from an elk you just ‘came across dead on the road, apparently killed by a mountain lion’,â€� Kirk rebutted as Doug finally gets the lighter to light, singeing his fingertips. “Ow!,â€� he screams, and sucks on his hand for a while, while Kirk giggles. 

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this from someone who, according to his big sister, my mother, would eat a whole pot of meat for dinner. And that elk was perfectly fine, no maggots, no disease, perfectly fresh meat.� “I need to lower my cholesterol, and I. AM. NOT. EATING. CARRION.� “Fine, eat your low-fat, no-taste hotdogs, I’m going to gather some wood so I can cook real food,� as Doug slings his 12 gauge semi-auto shotgun on his back, grabs a hatchet, and walks off into the forest. “Watch out for Bigfoot,� Kirk calls after him in all seriousness, to which Doug gives him a disgusted glance.

“How can a respected US Attorney believe in such un-scientific nonsense? Sure, I’m a Werecat, but that makes perfect sense…to me,� Doug wonders as he decimates Sequoia pine branches with his hatchet, paying utter disregard to the warning signs. “And it was so much fun killing that bull elk during that nature walk in the morning. I slinked off from the main group, shifted into my majestic feline form, and stalked it through the woods. Me and the family pretty much took parallel paths, often coming quite close together. They kept checking behind themselves, aware that they were being followed by a mountain lion. I hope I didn’t scare them…too much, at least; I need to maintain my status as King of these parts, and every creature will fear me. After a few minutes, the elk darted through a clearing. It was fast, but I managed to overtake it, jump on its back, and tear through its C-spine with my teeth. All the stress I had about my immunology research project not being funded just melted away that moment. What I did to that elk I wanted to do to the PI for calling my research “impractical.� I saw the family walking along an over pass-- I hope they took a picture! This time, I actually managed to get my teeth between the vertebrae, so I didn’t have to crunch through bone. It’s not like my teeth can’t handle it, it’s just that I don’t like having to pick out bone splinters from my tongue. I then picked up its carcass in my jaws, and carried it back to camp. Once again, I saw them walking a few hundred feet besides me. I bet Jodie enjoyed seeing that sight of a 200 lb cougar carrying a 1000 lb elk in its jaws – not dragging it, carrying it. Maybe she took a picture! Once I finally got back to camp, I dropped the elk on one of the backroads, shifted back, and went back to our site. A few minutes later, I cooked up a story about needing to go to the convenience store to get some Coke. So I got my favorite drink, and when I came back, I called the guys over to show them what I “found�. They were revolted that I wanted to eat it. I did some very hard work to get that food for us, and now you’re just going to ignore it. You say you want contribution, yet when I do contribute something of value, you reject it. Well then it’s just more yummy meat for me,� Doug thinks as he walks back to camp, carrying several logs for the fire. He hears a low moaning sound, coming from deeper in the forest. He looks around, but seeing nothing, he carries on. "That was an odd sound I've never heard in my kingdom before...I'm not going to say anything about that sound, because that'll just fuel their crazy ideas about Bigfoot."

What do you think?

OK, here's the rough draft of the story. Enjoy.

Doug and his family are out on a camping trip in snowy Big Bear. His Aunt Kathy is in a vicious snowball fight with his little cousin Abashai, his Mom and older cousins Heidi and Jodie are out on a hiking trip, and he and his Uncle Kirk are trying to make a fire.

“Why can’t I pick what we’re going to eat tonight? I’m a great chef,â€� Doug whined at Kirk while trying to figure out how to operate the lighter. “Yes, you are, but we can’t eat meat all the time, we need variety. And I really don’t want to feed my family the meat from an elk you just ‘came across dead on the road, apparently killed by a mountain lion’,â€� Kirk rebutted as Doug finally gets the lighter to light, singeing his fingertips. “Ow!,â€� he screams, and sucks on his hand for a while, while Kirk giggles. 
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this from someone who, according to his big sister, my mother, would eat a whole pot of meat for dinner. And that elk was perfectly fine, no maggots, no disease, perfectly fresh meat.� “I need to lower my cholesterol, and I. AM. NOT. EATING. CARRION.� “Fine, eat your low-fat, no-taste hotdogs, I’m going to gather some wood so I can cook real food,� as Doug slings his 12 gauge semi-auto shotgun on his back, grabs a hatchet, and walks off into the forest. “Watch out for Bigfoot,� Kirk calls after him in all seriousness, to which Doug gives him a disgusted glance.

“How can a respected US Attorney believe in such un-scientific nonsense? Sure, I’m a Werecat, but that makes perfect sense…to me,� Doug wonders as he decimates Sequoia pine branches with his hatchet, paying utter disregard to the warning signs. “And it was so much fun killing that bull elk during that nature walk in the morning. I slinked off from the main group, shifted into my majestic feline form of a mahogany-furred mountain lion, and stalked it through the woods. Me and the family pretty much took parallel paths, often coming quite close together. They kept checking behind themselves, aware that they were being followed by a mountain lion. I hope I didn’t scare them…too much, at least; I need to maintain my status as King of these parts, and every creature will fear me. After a few minutes, the elk darted through a clearing. It was fast, but I managed to overtake it, jump on its back, and tear through its C-spine with my teeth. All the stress I had about my immunology research project not being funded just melted away that moment. What I did to that elk I wanted to do to the PI for calling my research “impractical and stupid.� I saw the family walking along an over pass-- I hope they took a picture! This time, I actually managed to get my teeth between the vertebrae, so I didn’t have to crunch through bone. It’s not like my teeth can’t handle it, it’s just that I don’t like having to pick out bone splinters from my tongue. I then picked up its carcass in my jaws, and carried it back to camp. Once again, I saw them walking a few hundred feet besides me. I bet Jodie enjoyed seeing that sight of a 200 lb cougar carrying a 1000 lb elk in its jaws – not dragging it, carrying it. Maybe she took a picture! Once I finally got back to camp, I dropped the elk on one of the back roads, shifted back, and went back to our site. A few minutes later, I cooked up a story about needing to go to the convenience store to get some Coke. So I got my favorite drink, and when I came back, I called the guys over to show them what I “found�. They were revolted that I wanted to eat it. I did some very hard work to get that food for us, and now you’re just going to ignore it. You say you want contribution, yet when I do contribute something of value, you reject it. Well then it’s just more yummy meat for me,� Doug thinks as he walks back to camp, carrying several logs for the fire. He hears a low moaning sound, coming from deeper in the forest. He looks around, but seeing nothing, he carries on. "That was an odd sound I've never heard in my kingdom before...I'm not going to say anything about that sound, because that'll just fuel their crazy ideas about Bigfoot."

Nightfall came within a few hours. The fire was now roaring, melting snow around the perimeter of the pit, the pleasant smell of the burning Sequoia wood embalming throughout the camp. It was snowing hard, and everyone was around the pit trying to keep warm, save for Doug, who was still wearing his T-shirt and jeans, with only a motorcycle jacket to keep the snow off, currently carving up his kill’s thigh into steaks with gleeful abandon, blood splattering onto his face and glasses with every chop of his cleaver. He wipes it off with his hand, and licks the blood off, savoring it. This gets him several dirty looks. “Has anyone told you that you’re not normal? And how on earth can you wear that in this freezing weather? And I don’t care how well you season those elk steaks, I’m still not eating it,� Kirk said. “Oh come on, it looks delicious, give it a try; I thought you loved game meat,� Doug’s Mom cajoled. “Yes, if I hunted it…I’m not eating carrion, especially not carrion that was found on the side of the road.� A few minutes later, Doug finishes butchering and seasoning the steaks with spice mix, and pushes a few hotdogs off the fire pit’s griddle with a stick to place several juicy slabs of meat. “I guess I’m the only one here who’ll be eating the finest meat the mountains have to offer,� he says. “Look at the photos I shot while on our nature walk,� Jodie says has she produces her DSLR from her backpack, opens her file, and passes the camera around. “I took a really cool photo of this tom mountain lion killing an elk, look at its mahogany fur glistening in the light!� Doug smiles, “I really do look impressive, don’t I?� “Odd…that elk looks just like the one Doug found…,� Kirk noticed. A low, deep moan rumbles through the site, louder than it was before. “Maybe we’ll see Bigfoot mommy,� Abashai squeels. “If we do, I’ll give it Hell for trespassing in my domain,� Doug thinks.

Later on, Heidi and Jodie are roasting marshmallows over the fire while the rest of Doug’s steaks are grilling, and Kathy is chasing after Abashai who got a hold of the elk’s antlers and smashing them against a tree. The smell of meat fills the air. “Eat like a human being; you’re not an animal! Use your utensils,â€� Doug’s Mom admonishing him for eating his steak by picking it up with his hand and tearing into it like a dog. “I’m twenty-two, don’t tell me how to eat! And why am I the only one enjoying this, it’s so good.â€� “Well, maybe you could feed the rest to your pet cougar,â€� Kirk interjects. “You know I don’t have the freezer space, and this is too much for even me and Chloe!â€� “Why on earth do you keep a cougar as a pet? You weren’t satisfied with regular kitties,â€� Jodie says. “Mountain lions are some of the most majestic and beautiful cats on this planet. Chloe is so sweet, she cuddles with me at bedtime, greets me with kisses every morning, she loves to go on walks through the mountains, and she’s a great guard.â€� “I don’t think anyone is going to invade the home of someone who keeps a mountain lion,â€� Kirk says. Suddenly, a massive, hairy ape-man crashes through the forest into the site, hollering and throwing rocks. “It’s Bigfoot! This is the day we’ve all been waiting for,â€� Doug’s Mom yells as she and the rest get behind a boulder to save themselves from the attack. “I’ll go get the rangers, catch,â€� Doug runs off into the woods, throwing his shotgun and .50 caliber magnum revolver to the group, dodging rock throws.  Doug’s Mom catches the shotgun, Kathy catches his revolver, and Kirk draws his government-issued .50 caliber Desert Eagle. They take aim at Bigfoot and fire, missing but routing Bigfoot back through the forest. Jodie quickly snaps a few pictures. “Why did he have to cook all that meat? Look what the smell attracted!â€� “But now we have conclusive evidence Bigfoot exists,â€� Doug’s Mom says.

As Doug runs through the icy woods, his eyes turn yellow, and his nails become claws. He discards his glasses, since his vision is now as sharp as his claws, even in the barely lit forest. He scrambles across creeks and boulders, trying to get Bigfoot as far away from the site as possible. He hears Bigfoot closing in on him, and he quickly spins around. The snow turns to razor-sharp hail and the winds howl. Bigfoot hurls a large boulder. “Invading my territory is one thing, but attacking my family and stealing my food is quite another. Now face the terror that is a Stormwalker!â€� Doug fully shifts into an 8.5’ tall were-mountain lion, a head taller than Bigfoot, the shift ripping tears in his jacket, shirt, jeans and boots, his hair becoming long tresses trailing to his shoulders like a mane. He bares his razor-sharp teeth,  gives a loud hiss that resounds throughout the woods, unsheathes his claws, leaps over Bigfoot’s attack, and slashes its face, ripping apart one of its eyes. Bigfoot screams in terror and runs back the way it came, the hail cutting him. Doug ties his hunting knife to the end of his tail, and gives chase, snarling, hissing, and spitting, slashing through branches with his ice pick like claws.

The group is hiding behind the safety of the boulder, occasionally peeking over, in case Bigfoot returns. The wind chill is so great that icicles are forming in their hair and on their clothes, nicked by the hail. The only sound heard is the howling of the wind and pelting of the hail. Suddenly, Bigfoot runs through the site, fleeing in terror from the angry werecat in hot pursuit, blood dripping from its wounds, freezing as soon as they hit the air. The group raises their weapons and fire at Bigfoot. Angered by this, Bigfoot roars, picks up the massive boulder they’re hiding behind, and is about to smash them with it. “You’re not getting them this time, monkey-breath,â€� Doug thinks as he leaps onto Bigfoot’s back, digging his claws in, making Bigfoot scream in agony. “Let’s get outta here!â€� Jodie screams. As they’re running away, Doug’s Mom fires the shotgun, shattering his dominant shoulder. The blast knocks Doug off Bigfoot and to the ground. He grabs his shoulder, and screams I pain as he tries to push himself off the ground to stand back up. “I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU! WHY DID YOU SHOOT ME?!? At least the wound will regenerate quickly,â€� Doug laments in his mind. 

Bigfoot stomps over, and kicks him in the chest, cracking his ribs. Doug starts coughing up pink froth, but ignores this, and starts slashing at its abdomen with the claws on his feet and his tail blade to get it away, biding his time until he gets the use of his shoulder back. After a terrifying 5 minutes on the ground, his shoulder heals. He gets up, fire in his eyes, and slowly marches over to Bigfoot, which is weakened by his attacks, the hailstorm, and the sub-zero temperatures. Meanwhile, the family is watching the battle from a safe distance, through the range-finding scope on his hunting revolver. “He needs to finish Bigfoot off now, or he’s going to die,� Doug’s Mom says. “What do you mean, his shoulder healed completely,� Kirk said. “Look closely at the right side of his chest it’s not expanding fully and his neck veins are distended. When he got kicked by Bigfoot, a rib fracture must’ve punctured his lung.� “So? If he can heal from a shotgun blast to the shoulder in five minutes, this should be nothing.� “It doesn’t matter if the lung wound healed, there’s still air trapped in his chest, crushing his pulmonary artery.�

“Now, you will die,� Doug said in his low, raspy, hissy voice, while walking over to Bigfoot. Bigfoot attempts to throw a punch. Doug catches its fist, digs his claws into its wrist, and sharply pulls, severing its hand. Then he pins Bigfoot to a boulder with one of his arms, and bites through its neck, crushing its vertebrae and severing its spinal cord. Bigfoot slumps to the floor. “Yes! He won!,� the group cheers from their hiding spot. Exhausted from the battle, he collapses to the ground and reverts back to human form.

The next morning, Doug wakes up in the trailer. He looks quite worried. “They found out what I am…I hope they don’t disown me and run me out of town,� he thinks as he pours a Coke and timidly walks outside to the campsite, where breakfast is cooking. “Our hero has awoken from his slumber,� Jodie yells out. “Wait…how you knew I was the werecat,� Doug asks. “Because it was wearing your clothes, and come on, it’s not that hard to figure out that if someone runs into the woods, and a few minutes later, a mythical creature wearing their clothes runs out, that the person must be a shape-shifter,� Kirk says. “So, so you’re not scared of me,� Doug asks. “Of course not, we know you’d never hurt us on purpose,� Doug’s Mom says. “So, are we going to have the elk steaks for lunch?� “I really appreciate all the hard work you put into taking down that elk, but I’m still not eating it. Also, you do realize this is a national park, correct,� Kirk says. “Yeah…what are you getting at?� “Well, I could indict you for illegal taking of game.� “As if attempting to file those charges wouldn’t get you disbarred or put in the loony bin; you really think any grand jury is going to believe ‘The defendant shape-shifted into the form of a mountain lion, and took the elk, so therefore the United States would like to indict him for taking game without valid tags’?� “That’s what makes this so difficult.�

Obviously, this needs some serious polishing.

Dira wrote:

Very good fight, not bad for someone who judges work on their own. Is this the rough draft of the story, so you'd want this to be a few pages long, not like 30 pages?

Yeah, this is the first draft of the story. I don't have the patience to write for 30 pages.

What was your favorite part? The funniest?

Dira wrote:

My favorite parts is where I believe is the best flow of the story, I love the idea of Doug telling them that ratting on him wouldn't help them out. I did find it somewhat a bit funny, somewhere around the elk's death and the werecougar having everyone think it was a cougar who did that, like road kill. I did like one joke, Ah I see you edited the draft again.

How'd you like the fight? Poor Doug...at least he eventually won.

If Doug didn't kill that elk, the events of the story probably wouldn't've happened.

Based on the story, how would you summarize Doug's personality?