I would say that you shouldn't try to "keep them under control" but should try to allow yourself (your "wolf spirit" is simply yourself) to learn the appropriate ways to deal with life. If you mean "self discipline", then certainly your wolfside should be learning that. That's a part of growing up for everyone.

Not everyone has access to a teacher or a pack. Consider every Were that existed before the community began in 1993. No one before that time had access to other Weres. I grew up by "blind reckoning" so to speak. It worked okay for me. I would further say that you don't need a teacher - all you need is inside yourself. You do need access to other Weres, though. It's not necessary but it gives you more opportunities; it awakens things in you. That comes from real life interaction which is becoming more and more possible. Howls used to be the only major opportunity to interact with other Weres but now conferences have sections arranged for Weres, there are more and more "packs" (I call them constellations, others call them werehouses), there are whole communities of Weres.

I will say that most Weres underestimate the tolerance of the people around them for animalistic behavior. It changes with locale but you can usually assume that you can get away with more than you think. If you expect people to react to something you're doing, then they usually will - primarily because you're cuing them. You can push the envelope too far but, in general, if you're acting mildly animalistic, most people that don't know you will very pointedly ignore it.

People that do know you will expect you to fulfill the expectations that they have developed about you. Sudden changes in behavior will tip them off that "something is wrong." It distresses me that Weres often feel put out when the people around them don't immediately grasp something that is entirely alien to their world view; that they react strongly when their expectations are suddenly violated. Weres should not expect others to just magically revamp their entire mindsets to accommodate something new. Weres need to be anthropologist and psychologists. They need to strive to understand the people around them because they still need to live in this world with these people. The Wereside is completely able to carry this off, but it has to have the opportunity. Keeping the wereside shut away is not a good way to proceed because the longer it's isolated from the world, the harder it will be when it does have to come out and walk around - and that day will come.

People around you don't need to know a Therian, they need to know a person that they can see as a good thing in their lives. If they see you in a positive light, you can be a total animal and they will amazingly ignore the most blatant incongruences without missing a beat.

I will caution you, be very careful about any "help" you get off the Internet. Most people on the Web (and you should include me in that group) think they know a lot more about therianthropy than they actually do. If you have teacher in cyberspace, they're probably the blind leading the blind. If you have a pack in cyberspace, you have nothing. Packs don't live in cyberspace - they live in the real world.

ill be sending you a request via gtalk... ill tell you what ive done... who i am... thats all i can offer. I hope this helps

Last edited by shadowwolfx (2012-10-08 00:30:25)

Welcome Moonlight. unfortunately there is only so much a teacher can do - most of your self-acceptance and ways of managing your inner self will have to come from you and you alone. Better to get used to it now.

Personally, regular m-shifting, meditating, exercise, and creative arts are all things I've found to be therapeutic in managing 'wolf urges'. Ultimately everyone has their own methods and it will be something that you will probably arrive naturally upon.

Feel free to get in touch if you ever need further support.

ash... do you have gtalk or something?