When my husband and I got together I told him what the two major flaws that my particular clan of slayers suffer from. The first of which is it's very difficult for us to have children, and if we were to have sex, he'd get a portion of my soul. And since we are soul mates, it'd be a sizeable chunk.
My husband is very much like me. He took the "I have PCOS like the rest of my family, so be aware if your pack has traditions around child bearing bounce out now" as a major challenge. So a very long story short thanks to him and my OB I'm now ovulating regularly and we've been pregnant 3 times, but never made it past 9 weeks. However the only drawback is that I ovulate the week of the full moon. My husband isn't fully "awake", but his inner wolf is out and it's what makes him, him.
That being said, this is where I need friendly advice:
I'm a slayer, my birthday present this year was the most bizarre thing ever, for me anyways. My husband surprised me with the news that he'd formed a pack.
I'm both thrilled and mortified. We're not that traditional, and it seems that our unofficial motto is "Freaks and Geeks!" The most recent members that joined are hybrids between a wolf and a dragon, which for me is FABULOUS as I'm deathly allergic to most straight up werewolves.(Yay slayer flaws!)
I had had the feeling he was up to something, I do tease him a bit if his wolf gets the best of him, usually with a "Sure, whatever you say Mr. Alpha-pants." Normally he grins, hugs me and moves on.
I usually end up saying that the most during my ovulation week. 2-3 days before that week starts he wakes me up via nibbling at the nape of my neck and asking permission to.... you get the idea. He also goes way out of his way to make me smile, feel comfortable and overall pamper me. It's quite nice!
In August I miscarried for the 3rd time, it was the longest we've ever been pregnant, 9 weeks. We usually celebrate miscarriages, as it's been a huge uphill battle to get my reproductive organs working. It's still sad, but it's a sign that when we actually start trying it might not be that difficult!
So, his birthday this year was around the blood moon. And as per usual he gets in "super alpha " mode, adorably over protective & possessive, handsy, the other h word. The trouble is that hasn't stopped, his beta has noted that he's been more short and curt with almost everyone. His beta doesn't seem to think much of it, but again, slayer, and this whole concept of being a Luna is foreign to me.
I've talked to him about it and he says he's fine, just worried about my health, safety and the dreaded finals week.
My question is, is he angry that I lost another baby? Or is he blaming himself for these losses? Is this normal behavior post pack formation?
And for any women reading, how do you handle ovulating on the full moon? (If that's you're cycle) Also any tips for keeping him a bit calmer during that week?
Sounds like he's "just worried about my health, safety and the dreaded finals week."
Werewolves generally don't play a lot of social games and the one's they do play are usually pretty transparent. It's possible that even he doesn't know exactly why he behaves the way he does. I was taught in counseling to never ask why. Most people, and Weres aren't different, have poor understanding of their own motivations.
On the other hand, yes, it sound like normal pack behavior.
I'm still trying to feel my way around. I'm also trying to get used to people saying "Luna, _____". My knee jerk reaction is to say "No, my name is P.A., we're equals." Which for some of the older members is rude, apparently.
Also, I still have no idea how to react to him forming a pack for a present. Which not looking a gift horse in the mouth, but for us we're taught that it's not ok to ever seek out a position of power with the otherkin. He asks occasionally after big get togethers if I'm happy. I say yes as I've gotten attached, but I feel that twang of guilt that I've broken one of our major rules.
Previously it was just the two of us. We'd visit my family, and then his for holidays and things like that. I think he started going through the motions to inherit his pack a Yule or so ago. So I guess it's more that I feel dumb for letting him pull the wool over my eyes.
I've found that Weres respect experience and willingness to be useful. Alphas form naturally. Weres decide who they will follow and, usually, plays for power don't work very well.
I use my website to post substantive research on Weres, including work that I've done (I'm a social psychologist). I've noticed that pack dynamics vary greatly from one group to another. In the recent past, the Werelist took the position that "packs" in the Were community are just role playing. I've seen too much obvious pack dynamics in Were groups to accept that. The 8 Were-one Mainstreamer-one dog-3 cat group I live with will occasionally talk about the pack. Usually I call it a Werehouse and also tend to call established Were groups "constellations". Nevertheless, I still see the same core pack dynamics.
Usually, newcomers are very well tolerated until they get used to the situation and non-Weres usually fit in well (despite occasional discussions about "primate behavior at WalMart" and "monkey drivers". Most of the Mainstreamers that end up in packs are atavists and are as irritated by the general run of society as the Weres.
This is also super helpful, and if it's not too forward I'd lika a link to your website! (And if it's this one, mea culpa, 3 weeks left in the quarter and I'm swamped)
the general feeling I get is that 3/4 of our members were either classmates of mine or his.
(We went to separate schools here, however I had the extra slayer classes 2x a week with Oma and on the Astral plane I was also a full time student. He was a year ahead of me. Where my family is located it's, for lack of a better word, a fad to send the next in line to our school. For us, it's a cake walk, we're used to the constant surprise tests (my least favorite were he "SURPRISE YOUR DRINKS HAVE BEEN POISONED!! It's a combination of either what you're allergic to OR straight up ____ You have 20 minutes to cure yourself." For me it was always in gym or during rugby practice.) and the crazy expectations; like at 13 you should be able to outrun a wolf, or at least make good time. But for everyone else is a huge culture shock and way too much information all the time.
The other 1/4 is people (and I apologize I know its super rude to say "you people") who've either heard of my husband or myself and like how we go things. My mother in law is really the only person who gives me grief.
Most of it is that A) we're not pregnant B)I'm a slayer and C) I'm his first and only girlfriend. She had been pushing for some other girl, his dad (ex Alpha) said if he got straight A's here and over there he could date whomever he wanted. Which wasn't that difficult for him, and he drops off his report card and says "I've found that girl I dream about, I'm asking her out"
I met them on our 3rd date, and his mother, 7 years later, is still mad. She's not being as blatant about it, but it's the little things like speaking over me, telling my beta that whatever I said was incorrect and I meant to ask for whatever it is she wanted. The biggest thing is showing off these stupid empty picture frames she has for ultrasound pictures and saying "These would be so much cuter if you were like us and could have children." Or "I think I should give these to ____( husband's cousin), you know she's on baby #3!!" That's usually when he tells her to shove it and we leave.