Again, I'm so sorry, HardDrive got wiped:

Part 11:


Thomas closed his bag "I can't believe I have to go meet the pack and spend a month with them" Thomas muttered "I'm not even a werewolf."

Josh on the other hand was ecstatic, he spoke of nothing but the trip, he was packed a week in advance, and all of his conversations led to the pack one way or another.

Vivian entered Thomas’ room “Hey hun� she said calmly “almost packed?�

“Yeah� he said, with a hint of annoyance “why do I have to go, I’m not even a werewolf�

“Honey, Ian wants to spend time with both of you�

“So like any great father he’s going to drag me somewhere I don’t want to go�

“Thomas please, give it a chance� Vivian said soothingly before leaving.

“Well I’ve got nothing better to do� Thomas muttered throwing the last of his clothes into the bag. He then grabbed his sketch pad and pencils “Werewolves would make good models� he muttered optimistically.

Thomas, Josh and Ian got into car and drove to the airport. “So wait dad, where are we going?� Josh asked enthusiastically.

“Northern Canada, your Uncle Ted has a farmhouse up there, he’s the Beta of the pack�

“WAIT� Thomas shouted in surprise “Uncle Ted’s a werewolf?!�

“Well, yeah…all my brothers and sisters are, as are my parents� Ian said non-chalantly.

Thomas couldn’t believe it, Uncle Ted, Aunt Sally, Grandma & Grandpa, all werewolves.

“And our cousins?� Thomas asked

“Werewolves� Ian replied

“So it’ll be like a family reunion but it’ll be fun� Josh joked

The idea of it being just his family calmed Thomas.

“Oh no� Ian said “there’s loads of pack members you two have never met�

That idea scared Thomas.

I've been slowly but surely catching up on your story. You've done a great job and once I've read it all, I'll give you all of my critique

Very nice additions, Greaver!

  You bring up some very logical points and concerns for your characters, as well as showing them to have loving concern for each other. I think it's a great aspect. I was pretty surprised to hear that Ian was the Alpha, of course. It's going to be interesting to see Ian act as the leader of a pack, as well as what kind of social customs your werewolves have.

  I also like how you are keeping your characters consistent, with Ian being carefree but still caring, and Josh asking about girls and diving in to being a werewolf like he was a new member of a football team, and Thom being reclusive yet still compliant. When your characters are consistent like that, it helps us to become familiar with them and their possible reactions. It adds consistency to your story also, making it that much more easy and enjoyable to follow.

  Great job, Greaver! Keep it coming!

Last edited by Grayle (2008-10-01 17:27:11)

Thomas lay in the bed of his current room. The walls were white; there was another bed on the other side of the room for Josh. Thomas heard footsteps approach. He looked through tear blurred eyes to see Uncle Ted in the doorway. Thomas thought he could see tears in his eyes. Ted sat down at the foot of the bed.

“Thomas I’m sorry, it’s just…well you were always my favorite nephew and it killed me that we haven’t seen each other in nine years, and Ian never mentioned you were human…. So…�

Ted then grabbed Thomas in a big hug

“Screw it, I’ll make new plans� he said ruffling his hair “I love you Tom�

“Love you too Uncle Ted…. so what’s your wolf like?�

Ted hopped off the bed, he stripped in front of Thomas then began to shift. Within ten seconds a beautiful black wolf stood before Thomas. He hopped on the bed and licked Thomas’ cheek.

(guys i can not apologize enough for the absence, school is quiet taxing on this coywolf )


Alice exited the car as her younger brother jumped out in his wolf form. She breathed a deep sigh of relief to be finally out of the car. She walked over to The Beta’s farmhouse. Her barefeet digging deep into the soil. She was slightly anxious to meet the alpha’s sons. “I heard that they just had their first shift� her father had told her in the car. She passed that as noting but when her father told her that the alpha’s sons were her age she was a little surprised but even more excited to meet them.

Josh lay idle on the couch half shifted; he had grown to prefer that form. He held the TV remote in one paw. A bottle of water. He channel surfed until he heard the front door open, and a new scent hit him.

Alice walked in to see a Wolf half-shifted laying on the couch. “Um…Hi� she said “are you the alpha’s son?�
Josh turned his face towards her, exposing his suggestive grin as he did a quick double take on her “Why yes I am� he said jumping up from the couch and extending a paw “My name’s Josh, and you are?�
“Alice� she said shaking the paw “where’s your brother?� she asked.
“Oh he’s upstairs drawing� he said stretching “want to go for a run later?�
“Sure, should we invite your brother?�
“No� Josh said nervously “he’s er…had a rough night�

wow nice juat read over the full thing its pretty good

Very good.  I'm glad to see you working on this one again buddy. 

give me more. Brother wolf is nice^^

Alice walked in with Jean, and Uncle Ted “Hey bro� Alice said to the young wolf that lay on Thomas’ chest. Alice half shifted and sat on Thomas’ legs “You make a great cushion Tom� she joked stroking his cheek “Who’s my fluffy little human� she teased as Jean sat on Thomas’ stomach in wolf form.
    “Can’t…..breathâ€� he said, Jean jumped up and lay on the floor while Alice pulled Tom up to a sitting position. She teasingly put her arm around him, like he was her girlfriend.
    “Holy Crap, Veggie tales, I didn’t even remember I had thisâ€� Ted said sitting next to them.
    “Where’s Josh?â€� Tom asked looking at Ted.
    “He’s running around catching more deer than the rest of the pack combinedâ€� he said with a grin “the arrogant pupâ€� he muttered, but he couldn’t help but grin in pride.
Thomas laughed but behind his laughter anxiety and fear filled him. He had always been Ted’s favorite nephew, it was the one thing he could hold above Josh, but now it seemed Josh was gaining his affection. “Well of course he is� Thomas thought “He’s smart, funny, strong, attractive, and he’s the wolf� Thomas thought close to tears “All I can do is draw a wolf ripping me apart.� Thomas stood up “I think I’m going to bed� he said walking upstairs, closing the door. He broke down and cried.

Josh looked at his father, he grinned at the jealous pride in his father’s eyes. Ian shifted to human form “Geez Josh, if you want to take my position by Alpha, you have to kill ME, not the Deer� he joked patting Josh’s muzzle in pride “I’m proud of you kiddo, you’re quiet the hunter, hell you made me look like a human.� Josh couldn’t help but wag his tail, this was a compliment coming not only from his dad, but also from his leader.
   
    Alice walked in to see Thomas crying, she whimpered softly “Tom…what’s wrong?â€�
    He said nothing.
    “Tom pleaseâ€�
    Again Tom said nothing.
    She shifted to human form and jumped on him “Talk to meâ€� she growled
    He looked at her for a minute “I’m tired of this, my entire life has been turned upside down, I feel left out, alone, weak…â€� Alice cut him off by kissing him “Thomas, I think I’m in love with youâ€� she moaned as she kissed him again, soon enough Thomas began to kiss back, with an almost wolfish passion.

Last edited by Greaver (2008-12-19 20:50:24)

Hey, please don't leave us hanging, your works are quite the feast to read. this is great.

I'm baaack!! after being inactive for around 5 months I'm back! [insert evil grin here] Keep up the awesome story, you gotta post more before the death threats come!

Just caught up.

  I must say that the original ideas in this story stay prevalent, and therefore continue to keep the reader's attention. I'm not sure about Alice being so forthcoming so quickly, which is kind of in contrast to natural wolf characteristics, but with Thomas being so shy and human at that, perhaps it gives Alice a chance to enjoy the freedom to be as socially aggressive as she would prefer to be, if that makes sense. If that's the case, it's a delightful subtlety that you may wish to expand on for the benefit of the readers. I also find how Thomas' concerns on his favor with his Uncle very touching.

  Technically speaking, there are quite a few spelling and grammar issues. Granted, they can easily be routed out during the next draft, but they also provide a nasty distraction to some who would otherwise read your tale with fervor, therefore lowering the number of readers for your story. Just something to keep in mind.

  That being said, your story is very refreshingly different from the classic werewolf horror tales and focuses on family, just like a real wolf pack does. I really enjoy your tale, Greaver; Keep it coming, okay?

Wow, jsut caught up and all I have to say is "wow"
Wish I could write like this