Again, I'm so sorry, HardDrive got wiped:
Thomas closed his bag "I can't believe I have to go meet the pack and spend a month with them" Thomas muttered "I'm not even a werewolf."
Josh on the other hand was ecstatic, he spoke of nothing but the trip, he was packed a week in advance, and all of his conversations led to the pack one way or another.
Vivian entered Thomas’ room “Hey hun” she said calmly “almost packed?”
“Yeah” he said, with a hint of annoyance “why do I have to go, I’m not even a werewolf”
“Honey, Ian wants to spend time with both of you”
“So like any great father he’s going to drag me somewhere I don’t want to go”
“Thomas please, give it a chance” Vivian said soothingly before leaving.
“Well I’ve got nothing better to do” Thomas muttered throwing the last of his clothes into the bag. He then grabbed his sketch pad and pencils “Werewolves would make good models” he muttered optimistically.
Thomas, Josh and Ian got into car and drove to the airport. “So wait dad, where are we going?” Josh asked enthusiastically.
“Northern Canada, your Uncle Ted has a farmhouse up there, he’s the Beta of the pack”
“WAIT” Thomas shouted in surprise “Uncle Ted’s a werewolf?!”
“Well, yeah…all my brothers and sisters are, as are my parents” Ian said non-chalantly.
Thomas couldn’t believe it, Uncle Ted, Aunt Sally, Grandma & Grandpa, all werewolves.
“And our cousins?” Thomas asked
“Werewolves” Ian replied
“So it’ll be like a family reunion but it’ll be fun” Josh joked
The idea of it being just his family calmed Thomas.
“Oh no” Ian said “there’s loads of pack members you two have never met”
That idea scared Thomas.
The three arrived at the airport two hours before their flight. They hung around, Ian answering Josh’s eager questions. Thomas threw a couple fearful ones like “Humans….aren’t food are they?”
Ian laughed “Of course not, to kill a human or a wolf is to sign your death warrant”
Thomas breathed easily and went to get a coffee.
“So dad, any cute girls in the pack?” Josh asked with a grin.
“Eager for a mate I see” Ian laughed.
“Could I ask you a serious question though?”
“Do bites convert?” Josh asked with a somber yet hopeful face.
“No…you see Josh we’re a separate race, being a werewolf isn’t a virus, it can’t be spread. Any reason you asked?” Ian said
“Yeah….I wanted to….change Thomas” he said.
“Why?” Ian asked
“He’s so worried that he’ll be an outcast at Pack gathering” Josh said shyly, at the moment he seemed to resemble Thomas more.
Ian just hugged Josh reassuringly “Don’t worry, he may not be a werewolf, but he’s still part of the pack.”
Thomas then returned carrying a coffee and two Gatorades. He handed the Gatorades to Josh and Ian, then sat down and doodled a sketch of the airport, trying to ignore his anxieties.
I've been slowly but surely catching up on your story. You've done a great job and once I've read it all, I'll give you all of my critique
Josh awoke in the car, for the first time he was in the back seat. Thomas and Ian were up front.
“Morning sleepyhead” Thomas said with a grin.
“W…where are we?” Josh asked confused.
“A few miles from town, then its another five miles of pure forest to get to the farmhouse” Ian said with a very wide grin. He could barely focus on driving, he missed being at pack gatherings.
“Ok” Josh said “I’m gonna go back to sleep.” And with that he drifted off.
“Ian, you never told us your position in the pack” Thomas stated.
“Alpha” Ian said, as if he was commenting on the weather.
Thomas’ jaw dropped, he didn’t know much about wolves but he knew that the Alpha was the leader. "You….you’re the leader?!” Thomas asked in shock.
“Yeah. Someone has to be.” Ian said calmly.
Thomas’ anxieties rose in him even more “What if he’s challenged because of me?” he wondered fearfully.
Very nice additions, Greaver!
You bring up some very logical points and concerns for your characters, as well as showing them to have loving concern for each other. I think it's a great aspect. I was pretty surprised to hear that Ian was the Alpha, of course. It's going to be interesting to see Ian act as the leader of a pack, as well as what kind of social customs your werewolves have.
I also like how you are keeping your characters consistent, with Ian being carefree but still caring, and Josh asking about girls and diving in to being a werewolf like he was a new member of a football team, and Thom being reclusive yet still compliant. When your characters are consistent like that, it helps us to become familiar with them and their possible reactions. It adds consistency to your story also, making it that much more easy and enjoyable to follow.
Great job, Greaver! Keep it coming!
Last edited by Grayle (2008-10-01 17:27:11)
Josh was awoke on a couch “Dad!” He shouted.
Ian walked in casually; he was half-shifted and naked. “What’s up Josh?” he said casually as he grabbed a coke from the fridge.
“Where am I this time?” Josh asked confused.
“Uncle Ted’s place” Ian said.
Josh looked around the large living room; there was nobody there other than Ian.
“I expected more people. Where is everyone?”
“Thomas and Ted are outside watching Jean shift” Ian said casually.
“JEAN’S A WEREWOLF?” Josh yelped in surprised “but she’s eight, I didn’t change until a week ago”
“Yeah, well you’re…a late bloomer so to speak” Ian said with a laugh
“So…is there a chance for Thomas?” Josh asked.
“No…he’s not a werewolf, he never will be” Ian said with a hint of regret.
“Anyway, where’s the rest of the pack?” Josh asked.
“They’re coming tomorrow, most will stay for a week or so, but you & I, and Tom if he wants are staying a bit longer to “hone your skills” so to speak.” Ian said laughing.
Ted, Jean and Thomas then entered. Jean was in full wolf form; she began yipping as she saw Josh. She playfully pounced him; Josh pushed her off, threw his clothes off and shifted. The got ready for their mock battle when they heard a door open.
“Take it outside you two” Ted said with a laugh.
Jean and Josh ran out taking playful nips at each other.
“Why don’t you go join them Tom?” Ted said, with a serious grin.
“Ugh…no thanks” Thomas said shyly. I’d rather not be the prey they’re fighting over. He thought
“Aw, come on, I’ve been dying to see what my favorite nephew looks like as a wolf…..” Ted stopped, Thomas turned around to see Ian giving Ted the “Shut up” signal.
“Oh…you’re human, aren’t you Thomas?” Ted asked.
Thomas hung his head in shame “Yeah…” he said shyly, just before running upstairs.
Last edited by Greaver (2008-12-19 13:48:16)
Thomas lay in the bed of his current room. The walls were white; there was another bed on the other side of the room for Josh. Thomas heard footsteps approach. He looked through tear blurred eyes to see Uncle Ted in the doorway. Thomas thought he could see tears in his eyes. Ted sat down at the foot of the bed.
“Thomas I’m sorry, it’s just…well you were always my favorite nephew and it killed me that we haven’t seen each other in nine years, and Ian never mentioned you were human…. So…”
Ted then grabbed Thomas in a big hug
“Screw it, I’ll make new plans” he said ruffling his hair “I love you Tom”
“Love you too Uncle Ted…. so what’s your wolf like?”
Ted hopped off the bed, he stripped in front of Thomas then began to shift. Within ten seconds a beautiful black wolf stood before Thomas. He hopped on the bed and licked Thomas’ cheek.
It's a Very nice family feeling you've given here, Greaver!
I appreciate that Thom is coming to terms with not being a werewolf in a werewolf family - it does make him unique. Even so, it's going to be interesting to see how the rest of the pack treats him.
It's also interesting that so far, Thom is greatly in the minority in not being able to change, and yet everyone seems to be treating it like it's 'just one of those things'. It just feels a little nonchalant for such a rare development. I'm assuming that more explanation will be provided when the rest of the pack arrives, so we'll wait and see.
Keep it coming!
(guys i can not apologize enough for the absence, school is quiet taxing on this coywolf )
Alice exited the car as her younger brother jumped out in his wolf form. She breathed a deep sigh of relief to be finally out of the car. She walked over to The Beta’s farmhouse. Her barefeet digging deep into the soil. She was slightly anxious to meet the alpha’s sons. “I heard that they just had their first shift” her father had told her in the car. She passed that as noting but when her father told her that the alpha’s sons were her age she was a little surprised but even more excited to meet them.
Josh lay idle on the couch half shifted; he had grown to prefer that form. He held the TV remote in one paw. A bottle of water. He channel surfed until he heard the front door open, and a new scent hit him.
Alice walked in to see a Wolf half-shifted laying on the couch. “Um…Hi” she said “are you the alpha’s son?”
Josh turned his face towards her, exposing his suggestive grin as he did a quick double take on her “Why yes I am” he said jumping up from the couch and extending a paw “My name’s Josh, and you are?”
“Alice” she said shaking the paw “where’s your brother?” she asked.
“Oh he’s upstairs drawing” he said stretching “want to go for a run later?”
“Sure, should we invite your brother?”
“No” Josh said nervously “he’s er…had a rough night”
wow, this is pretty great.
wow nice juat read over the full thing its pretty good
Thomas did have a rough night. Despite the comforts of his immediate family, he still felt anxious at the thought of the rest of the pack coming, disapproving of him, and trying to hurt him. He hugged his pillow in fear and struggled not to cry. He eventually fell asleep and just decided to stay in his room while the pack visited.
Josh looked at Alice “Deer, 20 yards” his eyes said, his muzzle hung open in an excited grin. His eyes glowed in playful hunt.
Alice smiled back, she was in half form. “Any plan?” she asked as Josh darted towards the deer. She giggled “Pup has lots to learn.” She started to follow him. She came upon him eating the dead buck. “Crap Josh I’m impressed” she said as he shifted to human.
“What can I say? I’m fast” he joked as they went back to the house and Alice ran up in effort to meet Thomas.
Thomas looked up to see Alice enter the room. He looked at his drawing. A wolf ripping him apart, drawing it was strangely therapeutic for him. “Hi, I’m Alice” she said sitting on the bed. She was in human form and naked, which made Thomas blush slightly “Wanna come for the next run with me & Josh?” she asked. Thomas was confused, had nobody told her.
“Um…” he stuttered out, how should he say it “I don’t think you’d want me to come, I’d slow you down” he said shyly
She yelped slightly, then began to take off his clothes and search him for injuries. “Are you ok?” she asked
“I’m fine….I’d just slow you down…because…well……I’m…..” he didn’t want to say the next part, he tried to stop but his mouth wouldn’t agree “human….” He blurted out shamefully.
Very good. I'm glad to see you working on this one again buddy.
Ya, this is turning out to be pretty cool.
give me more. Brother wolf is nice^^
Thomas sat in the living room of the farmhouse. The rest of the pack was outside preparing for a long run through the dense north Canadian woods. To Thomas’ relief the pack had taken nicely to his being human, some of the pups found it cute, as did some of the female wolves of his age. So here he sat on the couch, a Pepsi in hand watching the younger wolves, (who were too small to go for a run of this size yet) play in the living room. They aged from about four to ten, some were in wolf, some in human, most were half shifted. Next to him sat a slightly overweight wolf in her early 40s. “I can watch the kids if you want” he offered, noticing how she twitched in excitement and desperation to run and smell the night air.
“Are you sure?” she asked concerned “the pups play rough by human standards.”
“I’ll be fine” Thomas said “I’m sure Uncle Ted has a movie they could watch, and if not I’ve taken my share of beatings” he half joked, remembering the countless times he had to claim he had ‘fallen’ when someone had punched him hard enough to bleed.
“Thanks Hun” she said giving him a hug and a kiss on the forehead before stripping naked and shifting, she ran out the door. Thomas got up and began to search for a video when he felt a tug at his leg; he looked to see a pup of about six, in half form nibbling on his leg. He smiled a bit, despite the pain caused by his thankfully dull teeth; it was kind of cute. He scratched the child behind the ears, the child then shifted to wolf form and playfully jumped on him as Thomas reached for a Veggie Tales video. He picked up the pup, holding him in his arms; he put the video on then lay down on the couch with the pup running up and down the couch & his body yipping like mad.
Last edited by Greaver (2008-12-19 13:51:40)
Alice walked in with Jean, and Uncle Ted “Hey bro” Alice said to the young wolf that lay on Thomas’ chest. Alice half shifted and sat on Thomas’ legs “You make a great cushion Tom” she joked stroking his cheek “Who’s my fluffy little human” she teased as Jean sat on Thomas’ stomach in wolf form.
“Can’t…..breath” he said, Jean jumped up and lay on the floor while Alice pulled Tom up to a sitting position. She teasingly put her arm around him, like he was her girlfriend.
“Holy Crap, Veggie tales, I didn’t even remember I had this” Ted said sitting next to them.
“Where’s Josh?” Tom asked looking at Ted.
“He’s running around catching more deer than the rest of the pack combined” he said with a grin “the arrogant pup” he muttered, but he couldn’t help but grin in pride.
Thomas laughed but behind his laughter anxiety and fear filled him. He had always been Ted’s favorite nephew, it was the one thing he could hold above Josh, but now it seemed Josh was gaining his affection. “Well of course he is” Thomas thought “He’s smart, funny, strong, attractive, and he’s the wolf” Thomas thought close to tears “All I can do is draw a wolf ripping me apart.” Thomas stood up “I think I’m going to bed” he said walking upstairs, closing the door. He broke down and cried.
Josh looked at his father, he grinned at the jealous pride in his father’s eyes. Ian shifted to human form “Geez Josh, if you want to take my position by Alpha, you have to kill ME, not the Deer” he joked patting Josh’s muzzle in pride “I’m proud of you kiddo, you’re quiet the hunter, hell you made me look like a human.” Josh couldn’t help but wag his tail, this was a compliment coming not only from his dad, but also from his leader.
Alice walked in to see Thomas crying, she whimpered softly “Tom…what’s wrong?”
He said nothing.
Again Tom said nothing.
She shifted to human form and jumped on him “Talk to me” she growled
He looked at her for a minute “I’m tired of this, my entire life has been turned upside down, I feel left out, alone, weak…” Alice cut him off by kissing him “Thomas, I think I’m in love with you” she moaned as she kissed him again, soon enough Thomas began to kiss back, with an almost wolfish passion.
Last edited by Greaver (2008-12-19 20:50:24)
dude storys better then da books im readin for school haha no lie
Hey, please don't leave us hanging, your works are quite the feast to read. this is great.
Oh, WOW! dude, this is awesome! better than any book i've read, i am not kidding!!! keep up the good work! I AM HOOKED!
I'm baaack!! after being inactive for around 5 months I'm back! [insert evil grin here] Keep up the awesome story, you gotta post more before the death threats come!
hi i think its great but you need to write faster i can read fast i read all your parts in 3hours hurry up*grin*
Just caught up.
I must say that the original ideas in this story stay prevalent, and therefore continue to keep the reader's attention. I'm not sure about Alice being so forthcoming so quickly, which is kind of in contrast to natural wolf characteristics, but with Thomas being so shy and human at that, perhaps it gives Alice a chance to enjoy the freedom to be as socially aggressive as she would prefer to be, if that makes sense. If that's the case, it's a delightful subtlety that you may wish to expand on for the benefit of the readers. I also find how Thomas' concerns on his favor with his Uncle very touching.
Technically speaking, there are quite a few spelling and grammar issues. Granted, they can easily be routed out during the next draft, but they also provide a nasty distraction to some who would otherwise read your tale with fervor, therefore lowering the number of readers for your story. Just something to keep in mind.
That being said, your story is very refreshingly different from the classic werewolf horror tales and focuses on family, just like a real wolf pack does. I really enjoy your tale, Greaver; Keep it coming, okay?