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#1 2008-09-07 20:11:50

FenrirFinale
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Black Rose

Howl sat on the hill overlooking the lake and he sighed.

" Another day another few precious wasted hours in school " He said speaking only to the wind.

And as if in response a breeze began to blow ruffling his dark brown hair. The chill in the air began to began to penatrate his shirt. The thin faded fabric doing nothing agaisnt the cold Autumn air. He stood up brushing off the backs of his faded black jeans. Shouldering his pack he began to walk down the hill.

As he made his way into town it became obvious to him that he could have stayed on the hill for awhile longer and he wouldn't have been late for school. In fact it looked as if he was going to be early! As he walked he noticed that people were rushing around the town putting up decorations on the light poles of the main street. He tryed to remember why but drew a complete blank.

Oh well he thought, No concern of mine. He silently made his way to school the breeze picking up again, swirling the leaves around him.

To be continued .  . .

So how was it?

Last edited by FenrirFinale (2008-09-07 20:49:36)


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#2 2008-09-07 20:43:36

punxnotdead
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Re: Black Rose

I think your writing abilities are definately improving. I like the mood you set for the beginning - very heartfelt in a way. I noticed a few grammical anomolies, but it's nothing to really worry about. Anyways, keep up the great work smile


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#3 2008-09-07 20:51:14

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Thanks Punx, I know what you mean about the grammar ( its not my strong point ) I'm glad someone liked it now I have a reason to write the next part!


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#4 2008-09-07 21:32:42

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

As Howl entered his class room it the rest of the class became quite as if they were afraid of him. Well they had every right to be his was the school punk. He had trounced every bully, thug and jerk that had got in his way without even breaking a sweat! As he sat down in his seat the teacher came in.

She seemed to be in high spirits but then she saw Howl and she began to smile widely. Thinking silently to herself that maybe today would be the day that she finally got to brag about having every member of her class present! Every teacher knew that if you had Howl Rose in a class you weren't very likely to ever have a perfect  class with every student on time. In fact when she had first started she had foolishly bragged that all her students were always on time at her old school. Smiling she asked the class to take out their books and open them to page 236.

Howl took out his books and began to read not really paying attention to the rest of the class but reading ahead on page 348. He had been reading ahead for the past year and he never failed a test.  As the others read he looked around the room pondering the events of that morning. Then he noticed a banner above the  teachers desk and he realized what the decorations had been for. The banner read " HAPPY HALLLOWEEN EVERYONE! ".  Ugh he thought I'd forgotten it's tonight!

As the teacher ended class he rose walking out just as the bell rang. As he walked down the hall he thought. " I really have to get ready its a full moon tonight and a lot of people will be walking the roads " .  Smiling he stepped out of a side door and walked off of the school grounds heading for the woods.

" This is going to be a fun night " He thought as he walked into the woods.

To be continued . . .


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#5 2008-09-08 14:41:37

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
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Re: Black Rose

This is an interesting premise, FenrirFinale - a school punk who has fought his way to being left alone by everyone, and who's disenchanted with life in general, and has a lycanthropic secret.
  Many stories of this nature end up having the lycanthrope come from the ignored and abused school reject that is constantly victimized by the bullies. In this case, you've put the character in a different place, with the knowledge of what he is already in place.

It's a pretty fresh idea, and I'd encourage you to continue with it.


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

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#6 2008-09-08 19:12:05

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

***** wrote:

Oooh I like the idea of Howl being the characters name...*cheers for halloween* And he's walking into the woods...oooh.

lol Tis interesting, Finale! *is intrigued* Will we find out why he was named Howl?

Heh-heh yes you'll find out why he's named Howl!


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#7 2008-09-08 19:12:57

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Grayle wrote:

This is an interesting premise, FenrirFinale - a school punk who has fought his way to being left alone by everyone, and who's disenchanted with life in general, and has a lycanthropic secret.
  Many stories of this nature end up having the lycanthrope come from the ignored and abused school reject that is constantly victimized by the bullies. In this case, you've put the character in a different place, with the knowledge of what he is already in place.

It's a pretty fresh idea, and I'd encourage you to continue with it.

Thank you Grayle. Yes I will continue it until the very end!

Last edited by FenrirFinale (2008-09-08 22:15:38)


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#8 2008-09-08 22:33:20

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Howl continued through the woods grinning as he neared his home. A normal human would have been dead tired from a twenty minute walk through dense woods but Howl seemed in the highest of spirits in fact he seemed refreshed. As he entered through the back door he couldn't help but smile at the perfectly clean kitchen. With its gleaming tiles and the perfectly placed rugs, to the beautiful blue marble that covered the  counters reflecting the sunlight. Everything in this kitchen looked perfect because that was the way the chef liked it.

Howl dropped his bag on the counter as he walked past it and into the living room. glancing around he felt something out of place. He searched trying to find this imperfection. The silken white sofa appeared to be fine, and the large shelves of dvd's and game disc were perfectly organized. Wait no there it was the imperfection! Howl walked over and picked up the case that had fallen and put it back in its proper place. Letting out a sigh he smiled again and walked over to a photo on the mantle.

" Hello Mother " He said as he brushed his fingertips across the smiling womans face.   " I know I shouldn't have skipped school again but I need to get ready " After saying this he switched his gaze now looking at a picture of a odd bunch of people. Every last one of them smiling and in the middle sat his mother glistening with the youth in her smile.

Smiling he left the room making for the kitchen again. With a grin on his face he said " If I'm going to be out tonight I'd better eat a good meal before I do. So lets get cooking! "


To be continued . . .


So tell me do I leave off at the worst times?


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#9 2008-09-08 23:04:18

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

***** your great!

Anyway do you really want to know that badly?


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#10 2008-09-09 17:11:14

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Heh-heh sorry *** it might be a little before I write the next part.


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#11 2008-09-09 17:43:56

Grayle
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From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
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Re: Black Rose

An interesting continuation, FenrirFinale.
  I liked how you introduced the reader to Howl's routine, and the sentimental conversation with his mother's picture only piques our interest even more. Although the house is pristine, we get the faint indication that it's emptiness is consuming, more endured than welcomed. It's a very touching depiction.
  Keep it coming, FenrirFinale!


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"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

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#12 2008-09-09 17:51:25

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Hah-hah thanks Grayle!

I guess I'll add a little bit more soon but for now I'm having trouble with a choice I have to make.  So it might be a little while.


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#13 2008-09-13 16:40:19

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Howl stood in front of his stove expertly tossing the mixture of meat and peppers in the pan. As he cooked he thought aloud of what he should do tonight.

" I want to hunt. But  if I do someone might notice if  someone is missing, maybe I should just stay home. " He said with a sigh

Then grinning to himself he decided on something.

" I can hunt I just have to make sure its not someone from town. A lot of people pass through here and a few are bound to stop for the festival. I can just pick off someone who's by themselves. " He finished with a smile.

Howl finished cooking his light lunch and sat down to eat. As he ate he began working out his plans for the night. He didn't have to worry about being seen the entire town was surronded by forest so he would never have to worry about not having a place to hide. His biggest problem was what he would do if he had to revert to his human state.  He decided to leave his car nearby with some cloths in it. That way if he needed to turn human he would have something to wear. Everything was in place and it was looking out to be a fun night.

Finishing his lunch he stood up and washed the dishs. He had a dishwasher but it would be a waste of water to use it with only a plate and a pan. After he set the dishs down to dry he made his way up to the second floor. As he entered his bedroom he smiled at the huge mural on the wall. It read, " Life is a never ending vortex, death is only the checkpoint. "  It showed a picture of a night sky with  the words running through the center. Walking to his closet he opened it and stepped in selecting a brown leather jacket with a mountain printed on the back.

" I'll be warm as wolf but I need to be prepared in all instances. " He said aloud as he picked up the jacket.

As he walked back down stairs he tought about his odd little habit of talking aloud. He realized now that he had started talking to himself when his mother died and he was left alone in the house. 

" I guess it's my way of filling the void. Aghh! I did it again! " He shouted.

He sat down on the couch and picked up a remote off of the table in front of him. He didn't even have to look. It was simple habit to him. He knew the stereo remote was always second from last in the line. As he truned the stereo on. The beautiful piano music washing over him. He listened to the music submerging himself in it. He drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face.




Ok everyone I know I disappeared for a few day's but I'm back with a new addition to the story! So tell me what you think soon. Later!


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#14 2008-09-13 18:16:45

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Heh-heh or else what *****?


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#15 2008-09-13 18:25:27

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

So should I give everyone else a chance to read this part or should I go ahead and write the next bit?  ( the next part contains the first transformation and the introduction of the female interest )


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#16 2008-09-13 19:41:08

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Howl awoke with a jolt.

" Oh crap what time is it!? " He said as he looked at the clock.

It read 8:49.  Smiling he stood up and looked out the window at  the darkened world.

" Ahh the perfect time of the day on the best night of the year. " he said smiling happily

Howl grabbed his jacket and out it on. As he walked out of the back door he locked it. As he neared  his car he smiled thinking about the summer he spent fixing it up. It was a 2007 Camero that had been painted black with red racing strips. It had been crashed outside of town and the owner sold it for scrap. Howl had salvaged it from the junk yard. His mother had told him that if he could fix it up himself then she would be glad to help him get insurance and to have the car put in his name. 

Howl got in the car and started the engine, it purred like a wild cat ready to pounce. He drove it down his drive way lazily not really bothered with speed this time.  And as he neared the end of the long drive he smiled his fangs glinting in the moonlight.


Howl sat outside of the towns limits he had been there for an hour now all the little kids were home  now so he didn't have to worry about one of them seeing him . It never ceased to amaze him how the youngest children seemed to be able to spot him off in the bushes when the older people never seemed to notice. But none of that mattered now. Howl stripped down and put his cloths in the car he shivered gently but not from the cold from the massive amount of excitement he was feeling. 

Howl relaxed his body and began to breath slowly he focused on the part of him that was not human. He reached into himself and grasped that part pulling it to the surface. His body convulsed and he felt the change coming. His mind became thick with a fog and he relaxed his body even further. His body shifted bit by bit and he felt the heat of the transformation.  And then he burst forth the fog cleared and he landed on all fours.  Where the boy Howl once stood there was now a large black wolf with streaks of sliver in his fur. He raised his head to the moon and howled.

Howl ran forward through the woods a wolfish grin on his face. his crystal blue eyes taking in the world around him. As he neared the town he slowed choosing the best route to enter the town. He figured that it would be easy to find a tourist that had come for the festival and lead him off. After that all he would have to do would be to clean up whatever was left.


Three hours later Howl was tired and upset he had not be able to find any tourist that he could hunt in fact he hadn't even seen a single stranger at all! He padded his way back to the car not even paying attention to the forest. If he had he would have noticed that no animals were around. Not even a simple mouse. 

Then he he caught the scent. It was strange almost human but not quite. It certainly didn't smell like a wolf.  Howl made his way through the bushes tracking the scent. He came to a small clearing and then he saw what the scent was.

She was a tall girl only a little shorter than Howl, and she had long dark hair. Her clothes  seemed to be average nothing more than a black skirt and a white top. Howl had never seen her before and he doubted anyone else in town had either.
But none of this was what caught Howl off guard. No what stopped him in his tracks was the girls eyes.

As he entered the clearing she turrned. Her face carried a glazed, confused look. She was beautiful and her face would stop most any  man in his tracks. But her eyes were pure crimson. She stared at Howl her eyes glowing.

" Christ she's a freaking vampire " he thought


To be continued .  . .


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#17 2008-09-14 16:54:13

FenrirFinale
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Posts: 12222

Re: Black Rose

Well ***** what do you think of this last bit?

I actually wrote the ending today in the car . . . now I have to write the rest . . .


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#18 2008-09-15 04:10:28

Goldie
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From: Algonquin, Someplace
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Posts: 209

Re: Black Rose

that was a work of art dude. smile


how can never ever be ever if never ever was ever, ever?
yes, i said that, but what do i mean, I'm what was that, thats crazy, crazy go nuts, nutty nuts. ok i guess I'm done, but it will never be over, now will it????????

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#19 2008-09-15 14:10:22

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
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Re: Black Rose

Interesting continuation, FenrirFinale.
  Your TF sequence was short and quick - it reminded me of the TF sequences used in the movie Blood and Chocolate, just not as much leaping over logs in your story. smile I find it interesting that you chose this TF route instead of the traditional twisting of flesh and dislocating of joints that is usually depicted. It was a very interesting choice.
 
  There are some components of your story so far is that I find very striking. Howl is a werewolf that can shift of his own free will, and keeps his mind while in his werewolf form. That in itself isn't so different, but the fact that he still chooses to hunt and kill humans instead of animals of the forest certainly is.
  Howl goes to school and walks around town, associating with his chosen food who are oblivious to their possible killer (and dare I say digester) standing right in front of them. What's more, Howl doesn't feel the least bit perturbed about hunting and killing humans instead of animals. (It kinda makes one wonder what kind of meat he was fixing in the kitchen earlier.) As a result, it's a unique premise compared to most werewolf stories; It adds a psychopathic/sociopathic element to your protagonist, and darkens the tone of your story in a somewhat disturbing way. It's rather unique.
 
  Now, personally I found the irony of his chosen expletive in the same sentence as identifying a vampire to be a little unsettling, but that's just me. Still, I was able to appreciate the irony nonetheless.

  Good going here, FenrirFinale! Keep it coming!


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

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#20 2008-09-15 16:26:50

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Grayle wrote:

Interesting continuation, FenrirFinale.
  Your TF sequence was short and quick - it reminded me of the TF sequences used in the movie Blood and Chocolate, just not as much leaping over logs in your story. smile I find it interesting that you chose this TF route instead of the traditional twisting of flesh and dislocating of joints that is usually depicted. It was a very interesting choice.
 
  There are some components of your story so far is that I find very striking. Howl is a werewolf that can shift of his own free will, and keeps his mind while in his werewolf form. That in itself isn't so different, but the fact that he still chooses to hunt and kill humans instead of animals of the forest certainly is.
  Howl goes to school and walks around town, associating with his chosen food who are oblivious to their possible killer (and dare I say digester) standing right in front of them. What's more, Howl doesn't feel the least bit perturbed about hunting and killing humans instead of animals. (It kinda makes one wonder what kind of meat he was fixing in the kitchen earlier.) As a result, it's a unique premise compared to most werewolf stories; It adds a psychopathic/sociopathic element to your protagonist, and darkens the tone of your story in a somewhat disturbing way. It's rather unique.
 
  Now, personally I found the irony of his chosen expletive in the same sentence as identifying a vampire to be a little unsettling, but that's just me. Still, I was able to appreciate the irony nonetheless.

  Good going here, FenrirFinale! Keep it coming!

Wow Grayle your more observent than most huh? I actually based my TF on that movie. Anyway I'm glad someone noticed the irony although I didin't mean it in a insulting way . . . I just thought  it would be a funny little twist. 

I gotta thank you though you've given me a bit of an idea for some back ground into the story. So thanks!

Heh-heh and Howl is supposed to be a bit of a dark person ( you'll find out why soon ) but he's not a psychopath he only eats to pacify the animal side of him. I've always veiwed it as this. If someone was a werewolf then being in contact with humans would have some effect on you especially near a full moon so I'm merely playing on Howl's base animal insticts.

Besides if you were a wolf and you had a choice would you go after the prey that can impale you ( a deer or moose ) or would you go after the easy prey and get a quick meal?  When I look at it I see this. Wolves usually go after the a young animal or the old and sick ones . So they hunt the easy meal and if a humans is in the area it makes sense that a werewolf would hunt them since they'd be the easy kill.

Maybe I'm just rambling but at least I gave some backing to my story! Heh-heh I guess I gave a lot of backing!

Oh and just to let you know Howl only eats human near a Full moon so no need to worry about that!

Anyway thanks Grayle!


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#21 2008-09-15 16:28:52

FenrirFinale
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Posts: 12222

Re: Black Rose

***** wrote:

It was great! Did see a few grammatical errors and such, and a few places where you could use more description...but I'm not complaining smile I can't wait for more, Fen!

Thanks *****! I'm having a little problem with the story though. . .

I actually wrote the ending yesterday . . .  and now I have to write the middle! LOL!

I messed up now because I want to write the ending now . . .


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#22 2008-09-15 17:58:59

FenrirFinale
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Re: Black Rose

Howl stood in the clearing staring at the girl, his heart pounded in his chest. She simple stared back wiht the same confused look on her face.  As the wind picked up Howl sniffed the air . He noticed that her scent didn't seem strong like a normal vampire. As he sniffed he looked at her taking in her every detail.

As the clouds cleared he saw why she seemed so odd. A thin trail of blood ran down her neck. As Howl stared he began to analyse her and her surrondings. From what he could tell she had been bitten. There also seemed to be a indentation in the grass in front of her, which indicated that she had been lying there for a decent period of time. Also Howl could smell a stronger scent in the clearing.  it seemed to be similar to hers but it was much more potent.

His final guess . . . she was a newborn vampire.

Howl approached her, he showed no fear nor any emotion. As he came closer she tried to back away out of fear. She still had the glazed look on her face.  Sighing Howl thought  " I can't leave her here, but what am I supposed to do? "

As if in response she shivered and looked at him with wide innocent eyes full of meaning.

" Damn " He thought as he looked in her eyes " I have to help her "

Howl looked at her and turned running the short distance to his car. As he approached it he paused and shifted. The return shift was always easier because felt as if you were breaking out of the water after a long swim. Howl grabbed his cloths and slipped them on. He ran back towards the clearing. When he arrived he saw her. It appeared as if she had tried to follow him. She had staggered and stumbled and was now resting only a few yards away from where he had left her. Carefully he approached her not wanting to frighten her. Yet now she didn't seem afraid in fact she rose and stumbled into his arms. Grinning slightly he lifted her and cradled her agaisnt his chest.

As Howl walked back towards his car he keep expecting to feel fangs in his chest. But the feeling never came. And when he looked down at her she was always staring back with the same wide eyed look.

Howl neared his car and looked down again yet this time he saw that she was asleep. Grinning he opened the door and set her down in the seat.


The next morning . . .

Howl sat at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee. He smiled as he heard the first uncertain steps on the stairs. He switched his gaze to the door and smiled as she walked in. She seemed confused as to where she was. Howl smiled and pointed to the seat across from him. She sat and smiled at him.

Howl looked at her and asked " Do you want anything to drink? "

She grimaced for a minute and nodded

Howl rose and picked up a glass he filled it with water and sat it down in front of her

She raised it and took a long drink, sitting the glass down with a faint clink.

Howl sat back down and looked at her.  After several minutes she spoke.

" whe-whe-where am I? " She stammered out as if she was afraid of her own voice.

Howl smiled and anwered. " The home of Alexander Howl Rose "


To be continued . . .


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#23 2008-09-16 13:05:46

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
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Re: Black Rose

Interesting - Howl seems to have a developed knowledge of vampires and their needs. That alone makes the reader even more curious about his past. Not only that, but the typical animosity between werewolves and vampires seems non-existent. That's also an interesting choice.

  Aside from a few spelling or grammar bumps in the road, you have a premise that keeps the reader motivated in reading on, and that's commendable. The story is moving along at a good pace, and you have an original beginning.

  Bring on some more when you can, FenrirFinale!


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

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#24 2008-09-17 12:30:56

FenrirFinale
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Posts: 12222

Re: Black Rose

Howl couldn't help but smile at the confused look she had on her face.

" I'm in your house? " She asked.


" Yes and you have been since last night. " He replied.

Howl smiled enjoying himself entirely. It had been a long time since he had met a vampire, and this time it was a newborn!

Grinning Howl asked. " How much do you remember from last night? "

With a frown she responded. " I don't remember anything except you. You were a wolf last night right? "

" Yes I was. " Howl said without any emotion.

" So your really a wer-wer-werewolf? " She stammered

" I can show you again if you like. " He replied with a smile

" No! " She said, surprised by her own voice

" What not afraid are you? Afterr all your not human now either. " He said in a low voice.

" I am human! Aren't I? " She asked in a small voice.

" No not anymore. You were bitten last night by a vampire. I don't know why it happened but your not human anymore. " He said in the same low voice.

" I don't believe you! Your lying! " She shouted.

Sighing Howl said "  Just run your tongue over your teeth and you'll feel the fangs. Just look in a mirror and you'll see your eyes. "

Shaking with fear she raised he hand to her mouth and felt her fangs.

" I'm not human? " She sad with tears in her voice.

Standing up Howl crossed the table quickly and took her into his arms as she burst into tears.

" It's going to be fine. " He said softly " I'm going to take care of you "

She looked up at him as he said these words. The tears streaming down her face.

With a half smile she said " I thought werewolfs hated vampires. "

" Normal werewolfs do but I'm different " He said

" Yes you are. Thank you Alexander. " She said softly

With a smile he said " Nobody usually uses my first name they all call me Howl "

" Should I? After all I don't want to upset you. I mean you did save me and --- "

Howl had covered her mouth with his hand.

Smiling he said. " It's ok for you to call me Alexander in fact I like it "

" Oh " She mumbled agaisnt his hand

Grinning he pulled his hand away and asked " So do you remember your name? "

After a moments pause she replied " I can't remember "

Howl could hear the tears in her voice again. He smiled and said " It's ok if you don't remember. "

" But I can't remember anything. I don't know who I am " She said in a quiet voice.

" Thats ok though. It's like you've been reborn. You can start over again, except this time you don't have to go through puberty. " He finished this statement with a smile.

She started to laugh and to Howl's heart it was the most beautiful sound in the world. He could feel himself melting like a block of chocolate in the sun.

Smiling up at him she asked " If I'm starting over again then I can pick my own name right? "

" Yes after all  it's your life. " He said with a half smile

" Then lets just call me Cassidy " She said with a grin.

" Well I like it but why Cassidy? " Howl asked.

" I don't really know why I just like that name. " She answered

"" Ok then! " Howl said happily as he stood up.

" Are you hungry Cassidy? " He asked with a grin

" I couldn't eat anybody! " She said with a gasp.

As Howl saw the shocked look on her face he began to laugh.

" What's so funny? " She asked with a cross look on her face.

" Now don't get mad at me for laughing. I just thought that look on your face was funny is all " He finished this sentence with a smile.

" Cassidy you don't have to kill a human to eat you know. " He said this as if it was common knowledge.

" Oh . . .  but I thought that vampires could only drink blood. " As she said this she blushed.

" I hate to tell you this but that's just something the movies make up " He said with a smile.

" You can eat and drink anything you want. But once in awhile you will have to drink blood. Otherwise you'll lose to much energy and you'll get sick. " He said.

" So um I can eat breakfast then? " She asked with a timid tone in her voice.

Smiling Howl walked over to the stove and grabbed an apron off a hook.

As he put it on he asked her " What do you want to eat? "

Girnning she replied " Bacon! And lots of it "



To be continued . . .


Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.

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#25 2008-09-17 13:47:26

FenrirFinale
Member
From: N.C. Look me up
Registered: 2008-06-02
Posts: 12222

Re: Black Rose

Thanks ***** . . . I actually didn't want to stop writing but I figured this was enough for one post! Lol!

So I guess I'm go ahead and write the next part!

After all can't keep my loyal fans waiting now can I? wink


Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.

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