I like it a lot
ah thanks.. im about to post more.. Oh and Blue.. i got that picture up that you wanted to see.. its a crappy picture of my drawing but its the best i can do without a scanner..
Rodney. She stared at her father King Marcus right in the eye. Rodney looked at her and growled..
“Get out of here..”
Rose growled back fiercely “Shut Up.”
Rose turned her attention back to her father and spoke kindly but demandingly.
“Rose..” The king nodded her existence
Cedric got antsy and notches an arrow to his bowstring.. “Shall I eliminate this vermin your highness?”
Rose growled at Cedric then smiled evilly..
“Cedric you wouldn’t destroy my gift would you?”
“Ah but your majesty he’s dangerous.”
“Well if he’s so dangerous why did you give him to me?” She smiled evilly and pretended to gasp.
“Cedric were you trying to kill me?”
Cedric bowed.. “Of course not your majesty, I had no idea the animal was intelligent enough to kidnap you.”
Rose laughed evilly. “Kidnap?”
Cedric drew his bowstring back.. “I thought he was a simple harmless beast.. I was obviously wrong.”
Rose growled loudly and bared her fangs.
“Cedric if you kill him… you kill me.”
Rodney still in wolf form, sat perfectly still at Rose’s side and then he growled loudly. Marcus looked at rose sternly.
“Why are you standing up for this beast?”
“Because he is my gift.. And when I was very young didn’t you tell me to always take care of my gifts and appreciate them?”
“Rose he is a Lycan.”
“Yes father I can see that.”
Marcus scowled and slapped Rose in the face.
Rodney looked at the king angrily and made a “woof” sound as he curled up at Rose’s feet. Rose was silent.. She looked down at the ground. There were so many things that she wanted to do and say but she was going to be respectful to her father. Marcus now taking advantage of Rose’s silence, spoke calmly to her.
“Rose it is a Lycan.. Do you remember what his kind did to your sister?”
Tears welled up in Rose’s eyes
“Father.. Why do you bring up such hurtful memories into my mind?”
“To show you how dangerous it is.”
Rodney looked up at Rose and whimpered softly.. He was going to play out this ‘dumb animal’ thing to its fullest. Rose ignored Rodney at her feet and started trembling with rage… still she spoke calmly and softly to her father.
“Father you can not blame it all on the Lycan… I was there.. You sat in the woods as I cried out for help.. You thought I couldn’t see you or smell you..”
The Prime Minister dismounts quickly and walks up just as rose started to scream..
“YOU LET HER DIE!! YOU WERE THE BASTARD!!”
Marcus slapped Rose again leaving her silent with tears rolling down her cheek. The Minister breaks the silence..
“Your highness..” he motioned to the king.. “When the princess was found to have ‘stepped out’, Cedric may have jumped to conclusions as to her ‘kidnapping’.” “Perhaps she was just taking her new pet for a walk?” The Prime Minister winks at Rose. Rose broke in after shaking her tears.
“Cedric, were you the one to tell everyone that I was kidnapped?” She didn’t wait for him to answer.. She went on..
“How many nights have I spent outside the palace? Hmm? You never cared before.. “ she smiled evilly..
“Not before I bloomed right Cedric? You want me to play with don’t you Cedric! They way you see it is oh I can get to be king and have this beautiful thing to play with.” Rose laughed to hide her tears.
“CEDRIC YOU FOOL!!” Marcus herd enough..
“Rose enough.. Get on the horse.”
Rodney got up and stretched to his full height as Rose faced her father. Rodney nudged her to get on his back. IN reply Rose just scratched him lovingly behind the ear. Rodney panted honestly.
“Father.. Go ahead and slap me.. I know you want to.”
“You want to rip my head from my shoulders.. I can see it in your eyes. I have three other sisters.. Take them Maybe they’ll listen to you.”
“You can not make me do what I do not want to.. wasn’t it you who told me never to be pushed around by superiors?”
“Well I’m not going to let you push me around.”
“I suggest you leave me and the Lycan here alone father..” “Or why don’t you let the Lycan go and kill me like you always wanted to.. There father save me from my misery.” Rose pushed her hair off her shoulder revealing her pale skin.
“Don’t you want to bite me daddy?”
Rodney kept his steady gaze on Cedric and growled at him loudly. Marcus had fire in his eyes as he stared at his daughter’s neck
“Your right Rose I do want to bite you.. I want to bite you and rip your head off and you know what? that’s a good thing..”
Rodney now nervous looked between Cedric and Marcus. He quickly moved in front of Rose preventing Marcus’s view.
Marcus smirked. “You’d make a fantastic leader with this attitude. This wonderful attitude. I defied my father.. You defy me.. it’s the way.. Your other sisters would let me drink from them if their life depended on it but you.. No your different you don’t fear me or death.”
Rose shuddered at his calm words.
“Rose is this what you really want? Do you want to be left here?”
Rose sighs “Yes father I do.”
“Then I leave you.” Marcus motioned for the others to mount. He mounts himself on his horse and looked back at Rose.
Cedric Glared at Rodney angrily and pushed his horse forward. Marcus sighed almost as if he was going to pass out..
“Rose don’t ever come to the castle you aren’t welcome.” Rose rolled her eyes..
“Tell mother I love her.. Oh and father… I hate you!” Rose smiled lovingly.
Cedric looked at Rose with his mouth agape. Rose laughed
“Cedric close your mouth and leave me.”
Rodney smirked and stretched back to his full height.
“So I guess your stuck with me.” Rose smirked and shook her head.
“Or vice versa.” She shivered and walked back into the cave, to find her sticks and attempt a fire. Rodney put his wolf-like paw to his head leaning on the entrance of the cave.
“Come on… your not going to want to sleep in that cave, its cold and damp.” Rose looked up a little irritated and replied
“Its even worse outside.”
“It doesn’t offer any protection from predators.” Rodney leaned down..
“Climb on.” Rose looked at him and rolled her eyes.
“As for predators I have become the predator. Even if I did go with you why wont you let me walk?” Rodney looked annoyed
“Well its not exactly a quick walk.”
“Ok then ill run.” Rodney was not amused.
“Look, we can argue here for hours, or you can just do it and get it over with.” Rose sighed she was to tired to argue and she was cold.
“As you wish.” She climbed swiftly and gently onto Rodney’s back. Rodney sighed this was taking entirely to long for his taste she pushed her forward on his back forcing her to grab his tuffs of fur.. He morphed down to all fours and ran quickly into the forest. Rose was dazed as she watched the trees become a blur.
After a few minutes of darting around thorn patches and avoiding one hunting gargoyle, they arrive at the tree that stands out from the rest. It was much larger and of a different family. Rodney sighed and whispered to Rose..
“Hang on.” He scaled the trunk of the tree, using the claw marks that have been carved into the tree from countless climbs. Rose looks down and gets a little uneasy.. she thinks to herself.. “Damn I’m afraid of heights.” She clenched onto Rodney’s back. After a few minutes they reached the top of the tree where dozens of giant leaves and branches, limbs and whatever else have been woven together to make a rather spacious dwelling. Rodney climbs up to where would be the living room, through the floor. Rodney talked over his shoulder
“Okay we’re here..”
Rose opened her eyes slowly and quickly realized that there was ground underneath her.
Saw the picture, Kaos, and left a comment behind.
Rose is quite a princess, is she?
mmhmm.. and thats all i got so far..
W..W..What? You mean there is no more chapters to this story of yours???
*Put a typewriter by Kaos*
<laughs> when i get inspired Blue i shall write.. im looking for ideas..
So you want ideas?
*Places a floating lighted light bulb over Kaos's head*
Now you have one......
*Push the typewriter closer to Kaos*
im writing sorta.. but i have been busy.. i just have too many ideas for another story its about a Spirit wolf named Kaos <hehe its frawsome> She has a special gift.. when she gets angry she can create storms when she is calm the weather is calm.. its very awsome and im writing a short story to tell about her life..
*Sits by the fireplace and look up at Kaos in her rocking chair*
Please tell us, Aunt Kaos!
*pup dog eyes*
Heya!! guess what!!! I changed Feral all around This is the sixth revision and its more of a vampire story with an awesome character as the were well he is half were half dragon. From Ireland. totally cool! I have it almost completed if ya'll wanna take a look at it.
Wow, I should definately check out this story. Will you be continuing it?
yes! I will but its entirely different. I was too tired to write in the narrative point and I hate doing the whole "dramatic irony" thing. Its too much like pretending to be a goddess. So I wrote it from on of the characters point of view. Ill include an Excerpt if you like.
An Excerpt from: FERAL: The Sixth Revision.
"I'm not your Princess! None of you should even entertain the thought, that title died a long time ago."
"As you wish my beloved Rose."
Antonio sneered taking much more amusement out of my annoyance than he should have.
"Anyway, This Were is of great value to me. The last of his kind; half werewolf, have dragon. He was sent to us from the Isle of Drakose, off the shores of Ireland. An exile from his country."
"Did he really make it on his own, all the way out in the middle of nowhere Louisiana? Or did those fine gentlemen take him away?"
I watched his eyes glance to the right for a split second, a sign of lying. I smirked to myself amused on how some of the human traits can never be fully overpowered by this vampiric curse, Especially with Antonio.
"Dont answer that. Fine Antonio, I'll play your little game for now."
He nodded smiling broadly with great accomplishment as he snatched the poor creature from the chair and kicked him to my feet. I couldnt help but notice the defeat in his eyes as he stumbled to his feet and held on to the wall for support. His penetrating eyes seem to stare right through me, sending shivers down my spine.
"We Done here?"
Antonio nodded. Ashamed of what I had agreed to, I grabbed the hand of my new companion trying my hardest not to drag him along. My efforts were for nothing as the poor creature barely made it past the back door without falling.
"The offer still stands my dear Rose. Sooner or Later you wont be able to resist it, you will come back."
Antonio brushed past me with that evil smile that I hated and adored at the same time. Flinching I managed to muscle my way around him with the Were over my shoulder. It looked odd because of my height.
"Antonio, I said No. Never will I come back and create more danger and chaos to this town like there once was. If you had feelings left, you would understand."
I rushed out the back door and placed the were gently down on the pavement beside my truck. I had to force myself not to think about the past, I had a more important task ahead of me. Even at his weakened state, i knew he had enough power to kill me in a matter of minutes. My back was turned to him as i rearranged the seat in my car for comfortable accommodation, when before i knew it, the were grabbed my hand forcing me down with him. His eyes changed to a hard emerald green as I felt the air around me get heavier......... [to be continued ]
Last edited by Kaos (2008-11-13 13:24:55)
hmm, I don't know if i like this revision, but as fine wine, it can get better with age.
Yeah, but there is more than likely gonna be more revisions after this one. I just dunno. I have so many ideas for it but I just cant seem to write what i wanna say.
So the chances of this excerpt even becoming apart of this "Great List," are slim to none since all of my revisions barely make it past the 15th chapter. *sighs*
Not bad, Kaos, it's different now but a half werewolf/half dragon character sounds interesting.
Thank you *****!!!! *wags tail* Oh update! I actually got passed the 15th chapter! I have the book finally planned out! I put all the notes together! It should be awesome!
I actually ended up writing all the way up to the 9th revision of this book. I agree with all of you I think the original could use some tweaking as far as the story goes but I also like the aspect of the first person present dialogue instead of the narrative. Maybe I will post something from the 9th revision so you all have some more comparisons.