The Werewolf Café The Werewolf Café

You are not logged in.

#1 2008-04-01 02:57:52

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

The White Wolf

Takes place in the future after Kevin's death. Enjoy.

The world was a cold and deary place. It turns out the Pelters were doing more than hunting weres and selling their fur. They had decided that the secret underground wars weren't going to eliminate the were soon enough. Instead the raids were a cover up, they were slowly seizing control of the goverment and slowly taking over. They eventually started what was called by many World War III. This plunged the world into massive chaos as the world goverments were taken over by revolution and ultimatly the Pelters. The great were elders called for a massive movement for the weres to move underground and to lay dormant untill the hunts had passed. The Pelters had ordered the millitary to seize many weres without question by the people they were excuted. However, some packs of weres refused to lay low and began the resistance against the new Pelter goverment, threatening to exspose themselves, the Pelters put many uprisings to bed, using the local gangs and mercenaries to keep killing weres and the general public in order. This was achevied by giving the gangs all the guns, ammo, drugs and sex they wanted. As long as this was given they would kill anyone with out questions. Any gang or mercenary group who didn't side with the Pelters was quickly eliminated.  Democracy was killed, and the people too weary to fight back went along unquestionly, still wondering why people were constantly being yanked out of homes and killed, fearing that they might be next.


The blackened trees stood barren without any leaves as snow gently began to fall. The sky was a dull grey and the air a mix of forest decay and polluted air. No creature stired except for a single man standing before a small stone grave. He stared at the inscription it read "Kevin Okami- beloved Father, Husband, and Pack leader." The wind picked up slightly kicking up small snow flurries. It russled his pure white hair, which was unusual for a young twenty year old. His face was hardened but kind, skin white but bronzed from being out in the sun. His eyes a deep creulian blue, his body muscular and tall. He pulled his brown trenchcoat tighter and placed his hat upon his head, hiding part of his white hair. He turned and began walking west into the sun, his heavy boots crunching lightly in the snow. He had a long journey ahead and he wanted to make it into a town before night fall.


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#2 2008-04-01 10:36:27

wolfsongx
Member
From: Tennessee
Registered: 2007-11-21
Posts: 14770

Re: The White Wolf

Great opening Grey_Tsume!  Your description of the world is so bleak and fearful.  Seems to parallel how our world is heading now, don’t you think?  Can’t wait for more!


A harmonic sound such as a vibrating string is one in where the harmonics are mathematically related by what is called the harmonic series.
I wanna win your heart and take you to another place you never thought or could dream of.  -- The Halo Friendlies

Offline

 

#3 2008-04-01 10:51:47

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: The White Wolf

Very interesting - a time of darkness and despair, and one lone creature makes his way through the gloom, resistant to its influence. Although it may be a dark tone, it's a very intriguing one!


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

Offline

 

#4 2008-04-04 02:35:55

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

Ashley was pissed. Already frustrated from school the last thing she needed was this b**** screwing with her. She turned facing Heather, an annoyed look on her face.
"So, you respond to b****, huh?" she mockingly asked.
"No, in fact I shouldn't even give you the pleasure of this response." Ashley cooly replied.
Heather got up in Ashley's face and grabbed her shirt.
"You think you're better than me freak!" Heather yelled.
Now Ashley was excited she had been looking for a good excuse to kick her ass all year long.
"Not, really I know for a fact shite is better." she said with a smile. Before getting a punch to the jaw.
Ashley moved back allowing some space between her and Heather. Getting a good punch on the face was critical. Ashley moved in blocking another punch and landing her knee into her stomach. Luckily Heather wasn't that great of a fighter, but surprizingly strong. Ashley on the other hand was excellent. She lived in a bad nieghbor hood so street fighting was a way  and a cruel fact of life. Heather fell to the floor gasping for air. Ashley stood there a slight bruise begining to form on her face.
"This is a waste of my time." she remarked and headed home.
"You b****, this isn't over." Heather said.
Ashley ignored this and continued home. Ashley was five foot four and well built. Her hair a deep brown and her eyes slightly darker than hazel. She had two piercings in her left ear and a thin faint scar on her right eyebrow. From her frist encounter with the local gangs, luckily a nieghbor had seen her and scared them away with a couple of blasts with his shotgun. She was branded a freak by most, because of her loner attitude and dark sence of humor. She often prefered solitude, it gave her a chance to think.
"Hey Ash wait up." called Roxanne.
Roxanne was one of the only friend Ashley had. She actually understood her and was willing to listen. She was slightly shorter than Ashley, with black hair and brown eyes. An overall kind person and easy to talk to.
"Hey." Ashley replied slowing down to let her catch up.
"Jesus, Ash did you get into a fight?"
"Yea, Heather got up in my face again."
"Dude, you're going to get yourself expelled."
"Nah, she started it. It was self-defence."
"Please you and I both know you enjoyed it."
"I'm not going to lie about that, alot of people would like to give that b**** a good punch. I'm just the only one with enough guts."
Roxanne rolled her eyes. "Hey that's my ride see you tomorrow."
"Bye." Ashley called back.
She continued past the school passing the iron fence. Then she heard an eerie song seeming to float in the air.  It was in some forgien language, oriental maybe. Then a sudden shard of pain shot through her stomach, forcing her to the ground grasping it. She looked up, a shadowy figure wearing a trenchcoat and hat stood perfectly balanced on the iron fence, then with a blink of an eye he was gone.

Last edited by Grey_Tsume (2008-04-04 02:37:53)


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#5 2008-04-06 01:53:09

wolfsongx
Member
From: Tennessee
Registered: 2007-11-21
Posts: 14770

Re: The White Wolf

Very cool, I like how Ashley took down Heather.  You have described her very well, and intrigued me further with the story.  I can't wait for more!


A harmonic sound such as a vibrating string is one in where the harmonics are mathematically related by what is called the harmonic series.
I wanna win your heart and take you to another place you never thought or could dream of.  -- The Halo Friendlies

Offline

 

#6 2008-04-10 14:47:53

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: The White Wolf

Another strong female character! Nice!
  And the mysterious stranger seems to know who she is, I think.
  Very interesting!


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

Offline

 

#7 2008-04-23 01:53:58

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

Ashley rose to her feet slowly, she felt dizzy and she needed to get home. She pulled her jacket tighter around her body and headed home. Trying to figure out just who that person was and why he was here.

The young white haired twenty year old hid amoungst the shadows in the allyways watching her steadly. Like a hunter stalking prey. A faint buzz came from his pocket, he answered the cell phone.
"Shi- I mean Jeremy, you didn't check in yesterday are you alright?"
"Relax, I'm fine. I'm tracking her right now."
"Sorry boss, how long has it been since you've seen her?"
"About a lifetime ago."
He hung up, and realized that he had lost sight of her. He sighed and took a deep breath, her scent was fading. Even when not in wolf form he was an excelent tracker. He headed out of the allyway and onto the street. Pulled his hat down, to hide his face and followed the trail.

Ashley walked in the door, her head throbbing with pain. She needed to lie down.
"Hey, sweety." her Mom called from the kitchen. The scent of dinner floated through the small house.
"Hey, Mom. I'm going upstairs to lie down my head hurts."
"Think too hard?" her Dad joked.
"Har Har, your quite the stand up comic." she said annoyed.
"Dinner's in 20 minuets."
"OK, Mom"

She plopped down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She shut her eyes and a new wave of pain rippled through her body. She sat up clutching her stomach, it felt as if something inside was clawing her lower abdomin. Ashley went to the bathroom, and ralphed in the toilet. The scent of lysol, dinner, and her own vomit hit her like a fright train. Pain shot to her eyes,  they blurred and then see could see better, they were almost inhanced. A sharp pain like spikes being impaled through her ears, then she could her parent's conversation down stairs, the crunch of snow across the street, and the sound of feet running on the sidewalk, amplified. This was too much for Ashley as her brain was being overloaded with sensations and she blacked out on the bathroom floor.


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#8 2008-04-23 16:16:56

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: The White Wolf

Very interesting - the onset of a secret inheritance, perhaps?

I liked how the cell phone conversation acted as a foreshadow, and it also developed interest very well. I also enjoyed the sequence of events you used as the symptoms manifested themselves. The details you used in describing the pain, sights, and sounds was very well done. Personally, I'm not sure the word 'ralphed' works - it might be a little too casual for the narrative, almost bordering on slang; but again, that's just me.

Bring on more when you can, Tsume!


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

Offline

 

#9 2008-04-23 19:25:30

punxnotdead
Member
From: Canada...eh?
Registered: 2006-05-09
Posts: 11300

Re: The White Wolf

Finally, you've posted some more. I like it!


I'm an aspiring bodybuilder! smile
"Be yourself to be free." - The Unseen
I <3 SMALLVILLE!!!

Offline

 

#10 2008-04-24 09:37:36

wolfsongx
Member
From: Tennessee
Registered: 2007-11-21
Posts: 14770

Re: The White Wolf

Great addition GreyTsume.  I liked how she was hearing the footsteps from outside and it was causing her pain.  I actually liked the choice of words; I think that standard words for regurgitation get old after a while.  I found that a bit refreshing, though that is only my opinion.  I can’t wait to see more!


A harmonic sound such as a vibrating string is one in where the harmonics are mathematically related by what is called the harmonic series.
I wanna win your heart and take you to another place you never thought or could dream of.  -- The Halo Friendlies

Offline

 

#11 2008-04-24 18:09:52

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

Ashley regained conisence, everything had worked itself out. Although she felt as if she was seeing the world through a new set of eyes. Her sences were hightened, any flicker of movement her eyes darted to the spot. She could see minute details clearly, new and surprizing smells entered her nose. Ashley headed down stairs quickly ate dinner. It was starting to get late and she had massive amounts of homework.

Jeremy checked into a nearby motel. The room was small and dirty. The scent of cigarttes, beer, and other bodily fluids hang heavily in the air. Jeremy wished he didn't have such a sensitive nose. He laid his pack on the bed and pulled out its contents. There wasn't much, a spare change of clothes, blanket, map, a knife, and a Colt 45. He changed into his pants and consealed the pistol and knife. Put on his hat and trench, then headed over to the local bar.  He stepped through the door and into a dim lit room, three unshaved truckers played pool. Several sat around the poker table. Cheap liquor and cigars were the standard here, the regulars didn't care. Jeremy sat down at the bar stool and ordered a strong beer. He extended a heavily bandaged hand across the bar and took a long drink. The brew was cold and strong, just how he liked it. A patron looked over and saw the bandaged limb.
"Hey how'd you get that bub?" he asked. The guy was fairly young about late twentys. He wore dark jeans and a black leather jacket. His face was covered with knife wounds, probably from the bar fights he was in.
"Long story, mate, don't think you want to hear it." Repiled Jeremy. The arm was completely covered from the fingertips to the elbow in white bandages.
"To painful to talk about, its ok , got this from fightin' in the war." He pulled down his shirt slightly revealing a nasty thickend scar.
"Sorry about that, friend, love to stay and chat but, gotta go." Jeremy pulled out some money.
"Barkeep, here's the money for my drink plus his and one more." Jeremy pulled his hat low and walked out carrying the bottle. He headed back to the room. There he finshed the drink in silence, then pulled the tables together and laid his blanket on top of it. He turned on the heat and went to sleep, God only knew what had been on that bed.


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#12 2008-05-02 01:27:19

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

Ashley woke up feeling surprizingly tired and sluggish. Her whole body seemed to ache, but she still got out of bed. She had already missed too many days of school this week. Not to mention the homecoming football game was tonight and she wanted to go. She pulled off her clothes and stepped into the shower, the warm water felt good against her sore muscles. She got out and dried off putting on her jeans and a blue long sleeved shirt. Nuclear winter was still ranpant, but it wasn't as bad. A mineral substance was developed to combat the raditation, so the levels were low. The tempurature however still dropped.

Jeremey woke up around 11:15, he sat for a while on the edge of the tables, he looked over at the half-full beer bottle and grabbed it. He didn't care what it tasted like he took a long drink, finishing off the bottle.
"Nothing like starting the day off with stale beer." he muttered to himself.
He got into the shower not caring for the tempurature. He got out wrapping the towel around his wast. He stepped over to the mirror and shaved. Jeremy re-wrapped his left lower arm in white bandages and pulled on his pants and shirt. He packed up the rest of his things and headed out the door. He headed to the front desk and laid down the rest of his cash to pay for the room. Jeremey placed his hat on his head and walked down the street.


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#13 2008-05-02 17:54:50

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: The White Wolf

Very curious addition, Tsume. I liked the subtle correlations between the two character's procedures in getting ready for the day. I thought Jeremy's decision to sleep on something other than the bed, and why he made that decision, was a very nice touch.
  Beer is liquid bread, stale or not. It's often the preferred breakfast choice for many hardened wanderers, which makes me even more curious about Jeremy - regardless of his bandaged hand.
Speaking of which:
Did he shower with the bandage on, or is this a reusable bandage?  I'm probably over-analyzing again, but I wasn't clear on that point and it kinda stumbled me up as I read it.

  Even so, I like what you have here, and I'm looking forward to see how these lives intertwine.
  Keep it coming, Tsume!


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

Offline

 

#14 2008-05-02 17:59:58

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

No he took it off, why he has it will be explained later.


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#15 2008-05-02 18:18:22

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

Ashley wandered through the hallways of her school aimlessly. It was her free period she usally spent it up in one of the trees at the far edge of the quad. Usally no one was there. Except for Roxanne who occasionly joined her. Ashley didn't mind she prefered to have her free period in solitude. She easily climbed the tree and rested in there rough branches. Ashley lay back and gazed at the clouds against the greyish sky. She loved watching the clouds, just drifting wherever the wind blows not a care in the world.
"To be a cloud." she mused " just to go wherever and not have any cares at all." she closed her eyes and began to take a nap.

Ashley wasn't the only one staring at clouds. Jeremey lay on his back on a bench in the old park. His hands tucked under his head and a toothpick in his mouth. He yawned and shifted to a more confortable position. Jeremey belched and patted his stomach, the four sandwitches had quickly been consumed.
"Damn, that was good. Pity I didn't eat them slower." he sighed to himself. He too enjoyed watching clouds. As a little boy he often try to guess the shapes. It stirred old memories inside his head, he sat up and put his head in his hands. He grabbed the brown bag on the floor and took a drink.
"You'd think from all the beer I consume I'd be an alcholic." he chuckled to himself. He lay back down and pushed his hat over his eyes, and he dozed off.

Last edited by Grey_Tsume (2008-05-02 18:20:49)


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#16 2008-05-02 23:52:49

punxnotdead
Member
From: Canada...eh?
Registered: 2006-05-09
Posts: 11300

Re: The White Wolf

I like the new segment, especially Ashley's character!


I'm an aspiring bodybuilder! smile
"Be yourself to be free." - The Unseen
I <3 SMALLVILLE!!!

Offline

 

#17 2008-05-04 16:50:58

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: The White Wolf

Very descriptive segment, Tsume. One person longing for more, one trying to deal with what he already has. It provides a nice contrast.


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

Offline

 

#18 2008-05-09 01:50:40

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

Hey thanks for the feed back. Not sure what to do next though, sorta thrown' around ideas. Any suggestions?


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#19 2008-05-10 01:51:12

punxnotdead
Member
From: Canada...eh?
Registered: 2006-05-09
Posts: 11300

Re: The White Wolf

Grey_Tsume wrote:

Hey thanks for the feed back. Not sure what to do next though, sorta thrown' around ideas. Any suggestions?

I think you should make a brief outline of all that has happened throughout the story, and as you write, I assure you that ideas will come. Or when you're riding the school bus home, ponder on different senarios in the story, even as you lay in bed...that's what I do...and it works - every time.


I'm an aspiring bodybuilder! smile
"Be yourself to be free." - The Unseen
I <3 SMALLVILLE!!!

Offline

 

#20 2008-05-10 17:24:08

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

Ashley woke with a start the bell had rung,causing her to losing her balance and falling out of the tree. She landed on her back, her head on a slightly upraised root.
"Oww...hope nobody saw that." she groaned.
She then heard the sounds of faint laughter, someone had seen that. Ashley just lay there staring back up at the branches and leaves above her. Some of which had gotten in her hair. She grimaced as she slowly rose rubbing her sore head where she had landed on the root.
" 'Sigh' Today is not my day." she muttered as she walked to her last class of the day.
Roxanne ran up beside her and gave her a side hug.
"Hey, Ash, whoa what's with the nature look." as she began pulling leaves out of her hair.
"Oh, nothin' just fell out of the tree."
"Again!, and you don't have any brain damage, that's amazing."
"Shut up, not my fault the bell rings as I doze off."
"I take that back maybe you do have brain damage."
"Nice, I feel the love here."
"That's what I'm here for."
"Roxanne you're going to the football game right?"
"Duh, what else do I have better to do?"
"Just making sure, cya tonight."

Jeremey had stayed asleep till about sixish. He was the type that took extremly long naps in the day time without waking up. He didn't sleep much at night anymore. He stretched on the bench got up and cracked his back.
He sighed " No wonder they compare me to an old man, I sure as hell feel like one."
Jeremey slung the pack back on his shoulders and picked up the beer bottle in the brown bag and finished it off. He then walked out of the park and headed into Ashley's neighborhood. He passed the old dumpsters and walls with the various graffiti. The frontyards of most of the old houses the lawn was covered in snow and surrounded by a chain link fence. Jeremey pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and looked at the address on it and looked at the house he had arrived at the right house. He opened the gate and knocked on the front door, to be greeted by Ashley's parents.


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#21 2008-05-10 19:07:56

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: The White Wolf

I enjoyed the character development for Ashley, as well as the relationship development between she and Roxanne. It was short and sweet, but very realistic and touching. Good Job!

  The paragraph with Jeremy was a little difficult to follow due to sentence structure, but I find it interesting that he's approaching her parents before he officially approaches Ashley. It shows respect for her family. Good job there, too!


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

Offline

 

#22 2008-05-10 21:25:24

punxnotdead
Member
From: Canada...eh?
Registered: 2006-05-09
Posts: 11300

Re: The White Wolf

I aree with everything Grayle said. I also think your writing has greatly improved from your other story. Your sentences are more coherent and your word choices are more elaborate. All in all, I like it!


I'm an aspiring bodybuilder! smile
"Be yourself to be free." - The Unseen
I <3 SMALLVILLE!!!

Offline

 

#23 2008-05-16 18:13:28

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

New posts on Sunday, if not definatly on Monday big_smile


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

#24 2008-05-16 18:44:28

punxnotdead
Member
From: Canada...eh?
Registered: 2006-05-09
Posts: 11300

Re: The White Wolf

Grey_Tsume wrote:

New posts on Sunday, if not definatly on Monday big_smile

Great news!


I'm an aspiring bodybuilder! smile
"Be yourself to be free." - The Unseen
I <3 SMALLVILLE!!!

Offline

 

#25 2008-05-27 22:49:47

Grey_Tsume
Member
Registered: 2007-05-01
Posts: 201

Re: The White Wolf

A short woman about in her early forties stood in the door way, her brown hair pulled into a ponytail.

"Jeremey, what a surprise! Please come in before you freeze out there."
"Nice, to see you to Katherine." as Jeremey walked in the door removing his hat.

He continued to the living room depositing his pack near the couch facing the window. The house was warm and inviviting.

"Jeremey, glad you stopped by. Still got your crazy white hair huh?" said Jethro folding his newspaper. He wore a blue jump suit which was stained with motor fluid. He smelt of colone with undertones of grease.

"Yep, still got my white head." he replied with a slight chuckle, as he rubbed the back of his head.
"Please sit, how's your father?"

Jeremey's exspresion changed from lighthearted to a more serious one. His blue eyes moved from Katherine and Jethro's faces to the floor then back again.

"Well, that's what I'm hear to talk about. Is Ashley around?" he asked.
"No, she's at the football game. Had to have it early due to snow. There hoping to end the game before it starts. Last time several players got frostbite from playing out there." replied Jethro.
"I can wait till she gets back."
"So, um how is your father?" asked Katherine.
"He died about a year ago."


Pain is good....it lets you know your alive.
Boredom is an ugly thing.

Offline

 

Board footer

Powered by PunBB 1.2.14
© Copyright 2002–2005 Rickard Andersson

In Association with Amazon.com   In Association with Zazzle.com
page counter View Statistics