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#1 2008-09-17 10:23:30

Imaru
Member
Registered: 2008-09-11
Posts: 26

The cursed

this is just the prolouge please tell me what you think.


There was a time when man could not sleep,so the gods created the darkness.
Soon after thieves and demons used the darkness,so the gods created the moon.
The demons cast a magic apon the moon making it wane, so the moon goddess
blessed a few of the mankind so they could excape the demons. Soon after the blessed ones
began to look at the mankind as prey not equals, the moon goddess seeing this told them
to pitty the humas fore they were not blessed and not harm them. We are the children of the moon.

We are told that we are cursed,but where is the curse in being free? Where is the curse in
being able to become one with the moon? I see no curse and yet we are looked at as beasts and monstrosities. But hate mankind I do not,Pitty them I do fore they will never know the joy of the hunt,
the joy of the change,or the joy of the moon.

                              We the Cursed
                                 Are truly the Blessed


~To Be Mortal Is To Be Cursed~

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#2 2008-09-17 13:59:37

Imaru
Member
Registered: 2008-09-11
Posts: 26

Re: The cursed

Thanx ***** it means alot to me..... no one at my town likes  my writeing.

ty.


~To Be Mortal Is To Be Cursed~

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#3 2008-09-17 15:09:41

Goldie
Member
From: Algonquin, Someplace
Registered: 2008-05-04
Posts: 209

Re: The cursed

well they can just go the the news paper, So far, I've loved your prologue, and am anxiously awaiting your next installment. big_smile


how can never ever be ever if never ever was ever, ever?
yes, i said that, but what do i mean, I'm what was that, thats crazy, crazy go nuts, nutty nuts. ok i guess I'm done, but it will never be over, now will it????????

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#4 2008-09-18 10:11:46

Imaru
Member
Registered: 2008-09-11
Posts: 26

Re: The cursed

im debateing on something...... should it be a story or a series of leters sent between werewolves?


~To Be Mortal Is To Be Cursed~

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#5 2008-09-18 13:31:46

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: The cursed

That depends on your creative choice, Imaru. It depends on what story you wish to tell, and how you'd like to tell it. Setting it as a correspondence between werewolves is exceptionally unique and creative, so my personal thoughts lean toward that option. Also, anything you write here is considered a WIP (work in progress), so you can always change it later, or even scrap it if you wish.
  It's up to you; what would you like to try out first?

  As to what you have here, it's short and sweet, starting out as a general history but ending in cultural nuances. It's pretty short for such a span, but if this is the wandering thoughts of one of your characters, or perhaps an excerpt from an old book or sacred text, then I think it works rather well.

  Either case, Imaru, feel free to continue. It is an interesting beginning.


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

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#6 2008-09-18 15:36:13

Imaru
Member
Registered: 2008-09-11
Posts: 26

Re: The cursed

thank you Grayle ill continue it as letters between werewolves. And the proloug is his wandering mind


~To Be Mortal Is To Be Cursed~

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#7 2008-09-18 22:39:20

punxnotdead
Member
From: Canada...eh?
Registered: 2006-05-09
Posts: 11300

Re: The cursed

Wow, I very much enjoyed the style. It almost has a poetic feel to it, which engrosses the reader further. I think you've done a great job with the clincher and though there are a few spelling errors, it's nothing a little proofreading can't cure. I anticipate that this is going to be a good story and I'll be here along the way to hopefully be of some help.


I'm an aspiring bodybuilder! smile
"Be yourself to be free." - The Unseen
I <3 SMALLVILLE!!!

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#8 2008-09-19 08:29:37

Imaru
Member
Registered: 2008-09-11
Posts: 26

Re: The cursed

thank you


~To Be Mortal Is To Be Cursed~

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#9 2008-09-19 13:44:44

Imaru
Member
Registered: 2008-09-11
Posts: 26

Re: The cursed

Letter 1


To Kira:


        Kira i know what you are and I Need your help. Im new to this and am wondering what to do. Should I leave home,if i stay im sure to hurt someone but if i leave i dont think i could survive. Please Help me,



                                                   ~Imaru~-

Last edited by Imaru (2008-09-19 13:45:20)


~To Be Mortal Is To Be Cursed~

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#10 2008-09-19 13:48:47

Imaru
Member
Registered: 2008-09-11
Posts: 26

Re: The cursed

Lteter 2

To Imaru:


              You know??????? How?  Well it doensnt matter... in order for me to help you ill need to know how you change and what changed you, AND most important STAY CALM!!!!

I know how diffucult but relax and hunt in the wild every three days


                                       *Kira*


~To Be Mortal Is To Be Cursed~

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