OOC: This is a round robin or ells know as a joint story. This story is in the present time and it is about werewolves. You can ask me questions about the story if you like. The story starts after the * stars * It will be running in the time about five years ago. Duma’s sister is a werewolf and so is Luther. Duma will be turned into a werewolf by Luther. As the five years passes each werewolf will hold a grudge toward the other that changed him/her. Werewolves exist and humans do not know of it. The one way to recognize a werewolf is by its eyes. Enjoy!
“Peacefulness is what makes me happy. Like a cascading waterfall all the memories rushed back... How hatred consumes me.” Duma began to think back five years ago, before she became the beast she was turned into. She remembered the poem that Luther had sung after he had bitten her and she could well remember the rest of the werewolf gang. She ran everything through her mind one more time and then she thought back, back years ago.
Duma also known as Una was working late in the library. The only light was the light coming from one room. Hearing a door slam Duma exited the office. Walking around the library she thought that it was her imagination. It could be one of the librarians, but she had the keys to this place.
Turning around she saw that one person was coming out of the shadows and into the light. It was Mura Webber, her sister and the owner. She always had an extra set of keys with her. Duma asked, “Should I lock up?” Mura nodded and said, “Yes, you’ve worked hard today. You should take a nice rest”
Duma walked out with Mura switching off the lights and exiting the library. She looked at the stars and asked, “What brings you late at night here? Can’t sleep?”
Mura replied, “I couldn’t sleep. I am a night owl”
Duma locked the library and looked at Mura; she was wearing those bug eye sun glasses again that her boyfriend Luther got her. “That boyfriend of yours is quite a catch isn’t he?”
Mura smiled, “Yes, he is the only one I love.”
Duma said hugging Mura, “Well, sis. I’ll have to say goodbye.” She climbed into her car.
Mura knocked on the window and said, “Look here” Duma rolled down the window to look what Mura wanted to show. She saw Mura’s hand. On her finger was a gorgeous ring. “Sis, I’m happy for you! Come here” Duma gave a hug through the window and waved goodbye
Starting the engine Duma drove off, honking her car horn just for the fun of it. Coming to her apartment she climbed out of the ‘folkswagen’ car and locked it. She entered her apartment and locked the door. Hurrying over to her bed she jumped inside and fell asleep as an hour passed.
The next morning Duma was back in the library when Luther came up to her asking a book about werewolves. She noted that his hair was uncombed. He was holding his shoulder and wearing sun glasses. Duma knew about the myth, but didn’t know what Mura's fiancé would be looking for in a book like that.
Not too bad so far. I really like the direction your taking it and I think it will make for a very pleasant read.
However, I did find the segment a bit rushed. If you could elaborate on emotions, surroundings, and facial expressions, that would make it much easier for the audience to visualize.
Also, when you're switching between each character as they speak, do each character's dialogue in seperate lines so they know who's saying what.
Besides a couple grammical anomolies, I think you did a great job and post more whenever you can