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#1 2009-02-05 00:25:00

Freddy
Member
Registered: 2008-09-30
Posts: 202

?

i'm still not sure what 2 call it but this is my first story i'm posting here. so tell me what u think.

                                                        PREFACE

      CAN YOU REALLY TRUST THE PEOPLE WHO RAISED YOU? WHEN SOMEONE WHO CARED for you points a gun at you. Would you still loved them? Or would you forget about them and become something else? Become something monstrous to humanity that would make you a threat to them, that even the one person who truly cared for you is afraid of you. Would you die or will you keep fighting for life?
       I thought i would never find someone who loves me more than my own mother. But can she really trust you or will she run like everyone else? But, when a time comes when she's dying will you make her a monster or will you let her die in peace and not suffer. There are just somethings you can't let go and must have but will you regret it though?

Sorry i can't give u my first chapter but i'll continue later on.


I will always protect the one's I love no matter what

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#2 2009-02-05 22:39:10

TSDX WERENIMAL HUNTER
P.h.e.o.e.n.e.x Operative
From: Texas....Howdy Lycanthropes
Registered: 2009-01-10
Posts: 3085

Re: ?

I Thought This Was A Real Question!!!


All Ur Base R Belong 2 Us come quietly and your eyebrows will not be burned off....that would not be pleasant would it?


Im baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! (For real this time) With 30% more TS 30% more DX 60% more weapons and 99% more evilness and destruction!!

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#3 2009-02-06 00:03:20

punxnotdead
Member
From: Canada...eh?
Registered: 2006-05-09
Posts: 11300

Re: ?

Wow, nice beginning, Freddy. A few anomolies, but the beginning is nice. You haven't made this mistake yet, but just for future reference, make sure you take the plot slowly. Don't rush it.
And if you need me to change the title for you, just ask, and It's done smile


I'm an aspiring bodybuilder! smile
"Be yourself to be free." - The Unseen
I <3 SMALLVILLE!!!

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#4 2009-02-09 22:36:00

Freddy
Member
Registered: 2008-09-30
Posts: 202

Re: ?

thanks u guys. oh here...

                                                1. CURSE

MY PARENTS WEREN'T ALWAYS THE LOVING TYPE, EXCEPT MY MOTHER: MARGRET, SHE WAS so dear to me and I still remember her; her beautiful brown hair, white skin, her rose cheeks, and her soft hands.
     My mother always loved me for who I was and wasn't afraid of me.
     My father: William, he was a strict man. Always telling us what to do. He did care for us but when a time came when I had to reach my teenage years, he lost intrest in us.
     My brother: George, was the one they loved the most, especially my father. I never understood why? He would play with him after school and not me. That all changed when my father told us about the family curse. My mother thought he was crazy but changed as well.
     He took her to one of my father's relatives, who we don't see or talk to. I didn't know why?
     But when they came back my mother started to believe everything about the CURSE.
     I sometimes ask her about it but she wouldn't answer instead she changed the subject.
     My brother didn't know either but he would try to scared me. I was only ten at that time and he was seventeen.
     My father would spent most of his time with him. After school, he would played catch with him and not me but when I asked them if I could played with them, they would sent me inside with my mother. That's why my mother was the only one who cared for me.
     The funny thing was, I would never get sick even during the cold months. I always hated wearing coats and sweaters but my mother forced them on me anyways.
     We lived in Chicago, Illnois, I lived most of my life in the Great Depression. Those times were terrible, everywhere you look you would see nothing but proverty.
     My father would get curious about mewhen none of my brother's sickness hit me. Usually I spent time with him, when he was sick. My mother told me not to be around him but I would sneak in and talk to him.
     He was was a cool guy to talk to, he did care for me like my mother but when my father was around he was a different person, rude, abnoxious, and especially a jerk.


I will always protect the one's I love no matter what

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