Thanks guys!
Interesting point, wolfsong - I won't say she's going to do anything reckless, but perhaps desperate.
Thank you for bringing that out, Edo -I think you're right. Even though she'd feel excited about the new possibilities, she may also be nervous about the change. I'll add that into the next draft. Thanks! However, this next segment may help to shed a little more light on the answer to your question.
(moonlight, that is - ha! Get it?)
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She looked at Ollie once again and watched him stare at his doorway, struggling with some internal decision. Suddenly he picked up the receiver for his vid-phone. He pressed a button, waited for a response, and then left a message.
âKatie, when you get this message, I need you to do as I say. I need you to pack a bag and get over to our house. If Iâm not there, tell Nicole âthey know.â Sheâll know what it means. Wait for me there. Trust me; this is important. Pack a bag and get over to our house; and donât let anyone see you.â
He hung up the vid-phone.
He knew. He knew she was a werewolf and never said! Then again, knowing Ollie, he was probably waiting for her to come forward with it on her own. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Oh, why didnât she confide in him earlier?!
She watched as Ollie pondered in thought for one last moment, and then stood from his desk. He left his uniform jacket hanging on the back of his door, something he rarely did of ever, and quickly left his office for the front of the building.
There was nothing for it now. She had to get to Ollieâs as soon as she could. Forget the bag; she didnât have anything she couldnât replace or live without.
From where she was in the building, she decided to exit out the back. She returned to the back hallway and made for the kitchen. She pressed in her code and unlocked the receiving door, and did the same for the back gate. As she ran across the parking lot she noticed that the white car with blue trim was gone, but Ollieâs craft was still there. It seemed odd, but perhaps he had not quite left yet. She considered the idea of climbing into his craft and waiting for him, but the thought of the full moon dissuaded her. If she didnât have control she could shift form right there in the craft while he was piloting it, and that would be disastrous. No, the best option was to make a run for Ollieâs house. If the full moon still made her shift, then at least she wouldnât get anyone hurt.
Fighting to control her hysteria, Kate made for the trees that surrounded most of the town. She could travel in the trees and make her way for Ollieâs place, and since Rileyâs was in the other direction, she had little to fear from meeting any agents from Dep:118.
Her mind raced with ideas and contradictions faster than she could possibly identify them. With her mind elsewhere she failed to take note of fallen log. Her foot caught on the log and she tumbled to the ground, putting bruises on her arm and a rip in her jeans at the knee. It didnât matter. None of it mattered. All that mattered was making it safely to Ollieâs place. She stood again and pressed onward.
It was not long before her sprint began to take its toll. She found a small glade with a large boulder on the edge and leaned against it as she caught her racing breath. Kate felt every muscle in her body convulse with the beat of her heat, which pounded louder and faster in sequence than ever before. She closed her eyes and took three deep breaths, filling her starving lungs with much needed oxygen. Opening her eyes she looked into the sky, the indigo hue growing ever darker to the east, and a large pale orb rising above the cloud layer which buffered the horizon. At another time, in another life, it would be beautiful; but now the doom it represented was only tempered by the advantage her other form would give in getting to Ollieâs quickly. After all, since Ollie and Nichole already knew about it there was no point in trying to hide it from them.
With no more consideration of possible consequences, Kate faced the full moon as it slowly emerged from behind the clouds, gleaming triumphantly in the night sky. She closed her eyes and raised her arms to each side, surrendering her existence to whatever fate was in store for her. She stayed that way for many moments, feeling the moonlight meet her closed eyelids and caress her skin.
Nothing happened.
She opened her eyes and looked at her hands in confusion, not understanding why she was not changing form. Her mind began reviewing what she had learned in the past day about her kind, remembering what Agent Hansen had divulged, and finally she came to a conclusion. Since she was now aware that the moon held no sway on her lycanthropy, she would not involuntarily change under its glow. And since she had not yet accomplished the ability of summoning the change on her own, the beast inside of her was effectively trapped. She was safe, for now.
Yet how safe was she really? Could the beast break out at any time, or perhaps during a dream of the full moon? Indeed, what fate would be forced upon her if she did not simply accept the one she now faced and learn to control it? How many might she hurt or kill in the interim?
The questions invading her mind were silenced by a noise in front of her and to the left; something stirred in the trees. Kateâs eyes widened as she peered into the brush, trying to catch glimpse of whatever was in there. The scraping of grass, dried leaves and branches was increasing in volume. It was getting closer.
Without warning a large furred beast jumped out from the trees, landing in front of her on all fours. It looked at her with knowing eyes, dark blue eyes which told of compassion, not danger. It slowly circled around Kate clockwise, and Kate instinctively backed up until she was against the boulder. The creature took two steps diagonally, positioning itself in font of her, perhaps three meters between them. There they stood, staring at each other, an unknown amount of time passing with their eyes locked on each other.
Last edited by Grayle (2009-03-12 11:56:54)
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Oh boy oh boy! I can't wait to see what's next!!
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Thanks Wolfsong!
Here's more.
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Intensely Kate gazed upon the creature. Its ears were long and triangular; it had an elongated nose like a short muzzle, but did not reveal what Kate knew to be menacing fangs under its jowls. Its coat was a chocolate brown, full and healthy. The creature cocked its head to one side and then the other. Its tail swished in a carefree fashion, swinging left to right, but not necessarily a wag. It became clear to Kate that this werewolf didnât mean her any harm; perhaps it sensed what she really was but did not understand why she had not shifted form.
The creatureâs ears swiveled to its right, and then its head followed in the same direction. After a moment its dark blue eyes narrowed and it repositioned itself to face that direction, as if something it was expecting was about to arrive.
And it did. Another werewolf with a frosted gray coat launched out from the trees directly for the first one, its jaws open and flashing a vicious set of teeth, its claws ready to shred anything in its path. The brown werewolf rolled with the attack, and the gray werewolf stumbled as it landed awkwardly, quickly righting itself. The brown werewolf stood its ground, holding its front legs out in front of it in what looked like some sort of defensive stance. The gray hybreed stood snarling at the brown, its hackles raised and its tongue lashing between its brandished fangs.
It was strangely at this moment when Kate realized the brown werewolf was wearing a tank top and a type of loincloth, whereas the gray one was not wearing any type of clothing. She also noticed that the brown one kept what seemed to be a cool composure while the other threatened imminent attack.
The gray werewolf lunged at the brown one and repeatedly tried to get at its neck, but the brown one was too quick. It swiveled its hind quarters beneath its self and rolled onto its back. When the gray refreshed its attack from above, the brown kicked the gray with both of its hind legs, causing the gray to vault head over heels toward the tree line. The brown righted itself, and so did the gray. As the gray charged once again the brown strafed to the left and pushed at the hind quarters of the gray as it passed, causing the gray to lose its footing once again. The gray roared in protest and reached around with a swipe at the brown, but only caught a few strands of umber fur.
Once again they faced off, silently analyzing the otherâs prowess, each waiting for any signal of attack from the other. The brown still did not expose his fangs, but kept defensive. The gray had his ears pulled down and continued to show his fangs, his tongue lashing between them; it looked as if the gray was trying to goad the brown into attacking, but the brown obstinately refused to make an offensive move.
At some point the ears of the brown werewolf swiveled once again, but its head did not follow. Interestingly the gray oneâs ears pulled up for a moment as well. Suddenly the ears of the brown pulled down, its jowls retracted to show his teeth and fangs. It hunched down, and its tail began swishing in a circular fashion. The brown was about to take the offensive for the first time.
The gray did not wait for the attack, but attacked itself. The brown charged at the same time, getting its jaw below the gray as they met, and plowed into the gray with its full body weight. This caused the gray to flip in the air backward as it twisted and fell to the ground on its back, knocking the wind out of it. The brown dexterously hoisted the gray upright, holding it in what looked like a modified version of a full nelson. The gray began to frantically kick its back legs, trying to break free, but to no avail.
âNooww!!â the brown one roared.
Kate heard two hisses of air disperse from behind the boulder that supported her. Two darts met the white chest of the gray werewolf, and it became even more frenzied in the hold of the brown one. It did not take long, however, before its attempts at freedom abided; soon after it stopped resisting the brown let it down to the ground, gently and carefully.
From behind the boulder came Rachel Blackwood, holding a backpack in one hand and pointing a strange looking gun at the gray werewolf with steady precision.
âBouuut tiimme,â the brown one growled with a bit of a cough.
âShut up,â Rachel replied, âor I wonât try to miss you next time. Is he out?â
The brown leaned down to the gray, whose tongue was lolling out idly in its unconsciousness. The brown sniffed the grayâs fur and nudged its neck, but the gray gave no response. The brown one nodded to Rachel and then looked up at Kate, meeting her eyes. It raised one of its eyebrows and added what seemed to be a smirk to its lips. It was a familiar expression, a very familiar one. Instantly Kate recognized the werewolf.
âChrisâŚ?â she whispered in bewilderment.
The werewolf lowered his head with a respectful nod, and then used its right front paw to wave at her politely.
She knew it. She knew it! Chris Hansen was a werewolf himself! But who was the other one?
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Who indeed.
Yeah, right; like you guys haven't figured it out yet...
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âHere,â Rachel called to Chris as she tossed the backpack to him, âgo change.â
Chris picked up the backpack in his teeth and trotted off behind the boulder. After checking the sleeping werewolf, Rachel began holding up some sort of scanner to the gray werewolfâs chest. As she adjusted the scanner, she addressed Kate.
âLooks like Chris was right after all; using you as bait worked like a charm.â
âBait?â Kate asked through her confusion. âWhat?â
Rachel sighed with annoyance. âChris figured out who it was last night and decided to use you as bait to coax him into shifting. It worked.â
With fragments of confusion blossoming in her mind, Kate looked at the gray werewolf. âItâs not me?â she asked rhetorically.
Rachel reseated her attention. âNot you? What, you think youâre a hybreed?â
Kate took a quivering breath and looked at Rachel. She nodded slightly.
âWere you bitten?â
Kate thought for a moment. Now that she gave it some thought, she didnât recall ever being bitten. âI donât think so; I canât remember.â
âIf you canât remember being bitten, then you werenât. And if you werenât bitten, then youâre not a hybreed.â She returned to examining the gray. âSorry, youâre not in the club.â
âBut what about the tracks in my back yard, and the dreams?â
Rachel looked at her again. âWhat dreams?â
Kate took another breath. âEvery full moon I have dreams of being a werewolf. Iâve seen myself looking into my house to make sure everything was okay. I saw my reflection in the window once. I can remember feeling hungry as I jumped over my back fence and headed for the woods. And then I wake up and find tracks in my back yard, sometimes in my bedroom.â
Rachel looked off into the distance for a moment, apparently calculating the events Kate described. She returned her gaze to Kate as she stood and approached. Standing directly in front of Kate, Rachel looked deep into Kateâs eyes.
âKate, I want you to continue looking at me, and donât break eye contact no matter what. Iâm going to ask you a series of questions. I want you to answer me with the first thing that comes to mind, no matter how strange. Ready?â
âI guess so,â Kate replied nervously.
âHow old are you?â
âTwenty-eight.â
âHow many fingers do you have?â
âTen.â
âHow many cats do I have?â
âTwo.â
âWhenâs the last time you took a shower?â
âYesterday, after work.â
âWhatâs the name of Chrisâ best friend?â
âTed.â
âWhat is the last number of your address?â
âFive.â
âWhat is the apartment number on my door?â
â15.â
âWhat color is my hair?â
âBlack.â
âWhat is the first name of Shannonâs father?â
âMichael.â
Rachel stopped, the content look on her face being mixed with a measure of smug righteousness. âThat settles it. Youâre not a hybreed.â
Kate stood silent. She was hesitant to believe Agent Blackwood, as she was uncertain how the questions could decipher if she was a werewolf, but at the same time she could not deny that a sliver of relief was also present in her mind.
âYouâre a telepath,â Rachel announced as she returned to the sleeping hybreed.
âWhat?â
âA latent one at best, definitely under-developed, but thereâs no way you could know the answers to the personal questions I asked unless you read my mind. You even used the incorrect answers I had in mind at the time. It means youâre not a hybreed, and youâre probably not a bona fide scooper either.â
âIâm not a werewolf⌠or a scooper?â Kate whispered incredulously.
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WOW! That is a plot twist! I love it!!!! Ollie or Riley has to be the werewolf then, right? Oh tell us tell us please!!!!
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Oh wow, that was something I wasn't expecting...
Great plot twist!
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Thanks guys! I was hoping it would be a good twist. As to who the other one is, Chris will explain.
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Rachel put the scanner down again and looked up at Kate. âItâs no big deal. You probably began picking up on the thoughts of some scooper in Aisleton, and your mind put them in your dreams. You came to Loughlin and the same thing happened as you hung around other scoopers. When you got away from them, the dreams stopped, remember? I bet the nightmare you had in our car was just like the sighting Earl Tippowitz was telling us about at the time.â She gestured to the sleeping hybreed. âNo doubt your mind picked up the thoughts of this guy whenever he came by your house.â
Kateâs mind was reeling, fervently clinging to the reality she knew as a different one overtook it. Even with her lack of experience, she had no reason to discount Rachelâs conclusions; it was just that she was so certain she was a werewolf.
About that time Chris emerged from behind the boulder, wearing jeans and a black tee shirt, but his feet were bare. He held his backpack nonchalantly in his right hand as he approached. His brown hair was shorter than it was when he originally arrived in town, but his dark blue eyes still held the supportive, compassionate sincerity that Kate learned to use as a beacon of hope. Yet what hope could they provide for her now?
âMan; I could really use a pizza or two,â Chris said to no one in particular, and then turned his attention to Kate. âHello again, Kate.â
Kate merely nodded; words were having a difficult time forming in her throat.
âDid I hear things right? Youâre telepathic but you thought you might be a hybreed?â
âI⌠guessâŚâ she managed to say as she returned to staring at the sleeping werewolf on the ground in front of her.
Chris smiled with comfort. âI can tell you that we know a few other telepaths who can help you with your ability, if youâre interested; and you wonât be in any danger from the Empire exploiting your ability, either.â
Like the click of a switch, something surfaced in Kateâs thoughts as Chris was talking. The inconsistency of a previous conversation blared in Kateâs mind, begging for explanation. She looked over at Rachel.
âWait a minute; you told Ollie that I was the werewolf, and that you were going to take me down.â
Rachel looked up at her and smiled teasingly. âWhy, you naughty little eavesdropper! No wonder you bolted out of there like that.â
âDonât worry,â Chris assured her, âthat was just for the Sheriffâs benefit. Weâre not going to take anybody down. We were just trying to make him invoke the shift on his own so heâd be self-aware. Our people call it âawakeningâ; itâs considered the first step a hybreed should take, and it makes learning our culture a lot easier, believe me.â
âWait, wait, back up,â Kate said. âAre you saying thatâŚâ and she apprehensively pointed to the sleeping hybreed.
Chris smiled and softly laughed. âThatâs your Uncle Ollie, yes. We had to make him think you were in danger. Since we already told him how to invoke the shift, I figured heâd try it to protect you by shifting.â He turned to Rachel. âSee? I was right.â
âDonât let it go to your head,â she retorted.
Chris rolled his eyes and them turned back toward Kate. âAnyway, when I saw you running out of the back of the building, something told me it would be a good idea to follow you. Looks like I was right on that one, too.â
Apparently the disbelief of the claim bore upon Kateâs face, judging from Rachelâs next comment.
âWe could show you, if you donât mind seeing him naked.â
âOh â Iâve got a towel in the backpack; hold on,â Chris announced, and began rummaging through his pack. He pulled out a dark blue towel and draped it over the werewolfâs midsection. He looked back up at Kate.
Kate was still trying to process all of this. She was not a werewolf after all, she was apparently not a scooper either; she was a telepath who was picking up on the mental images of Ollie, who was a werewolf and periodically checking in on her for safety. He must have severed her bonds when she tied herself up, and brought her out of her closet as well! It was all so difficult to accept, but the evidence was there, right in front of her.
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I KNEW IT!!! Great stuff. Now I know why you titled this 'Identity Crisis.'
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Wow.... I honestly bought that gag of Kate being the Hybreed, not once did I suspect Ollie... Good story too, I love these Hybreed stories.
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Thank you very much, Nightstalker! I really appreciate that the twist was so sudden for the reader, and not anticipated. It means I reached the mark I was aiming for. And I 'm really glad you enjoy these stories so much! Thanks!
Thanks again, Wolfsong! I'm glad you appreciate the title. I wasn't sure it worked, but since you now understand why I took that title, maybe it would work after all.
Now we begin tying up the loose ends of the story. This next segment is a little bland, but it does have a reverse TF in it.
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âTell you what,â Chris said. He repositioned himself at the back of the werewolf and squatted, and then gestured for Kate to join him. âItâs okay,â he assured her, âcome here.â
Cautiously Kate took a step toward Chris, and then another one, all the while keeping her eyes on the sleeping creature. She cautiously knelt down next to Chris. Chris gently took her left hand with his right, and placed it on the gray pelt of the werewolf. The fur was coarse and thick, but at the same time it was soft and warm to the touch. As she ran her fingers through the fur, the werewolf took a deep, contented breath. Kate watched as its chest expanded and contracted, the ribs and muscles under its fur no different than any other animal or human she ever touched.
âSee?â Chris said softly. âItâs real. Heâs real.â
âBut⌠Ollie?â Kate whispered.
âWeâll show you,â Chris said through his smile.
âIf we can get this piece of crap to work,â Rachel added. âIt isnât working, Chris.â
Chris sighed. âLet me see it,â and he took the scanner from Rachelâs hands.
Kate continued to run her fingers through the fur of the werewolf as Chris discussed the scanner workings with Rachel.
âNo wonder; youâre not using the auto detect. First you have to detect the current frequency and then adjust to the second one, see?â He showed the display to Rachel. âThatâs his hybreed frequency. Hybreed is higher, human is lower; so we start going lower, and⌠there. There it is. Itâs always a related factor to the hybreed frequency.â
âWhatever, Chris,â Rachel blurted. âJust make it go, will you?â
Chris turned his attention to Kate. âAre you ready?â
Kate shrugged, still uncertain on what was about to happen. âI guess.â
Chris pressed a button, and the scanner made an alarm sound for a few seconds. The hybreed twitched in its sleep. Chris ran his own fingers through the fur of the werewolf, and an enormous tuft of gray hair came away with his hand.
âHere we go,â he announced.
Kate looked on as the creatureâs legs began to shrink and reshape. She could audibly hear the pops of joints, sometimes accompanied with a twitch from a leg or the back. She watched as the muzzle of the werewolf retracted and the skull began to expand, making the shrinking ears appear like they were sliding down the side of his head. All the while more and more fur fell away, exposing reddened skin. The two darts in his chest were pushed out of his body and fell harmlessly to the ground. The tail had receded without her noticing, and the digit grade paws had twisted into a more human resemblance. Soon afterward the reddened skin cooled to a tanned hide. Finally, there in front of her in a bed of fur lay Uncle Ollie, still unconscious with a towel draped across his waist.
Incredible. Simply incredible!
Ollie began to stir with a moan.
âThe shift purged the sedative from his system,â Chris announced. âHeâs coming around.â
Rachel casually shot him with another tranquilizer dart.
âWhat the heck are you thinking?!â Chris demanded. âWhat did you do that for?!â
âHeâs unrestrained and self-aware,â she explained with a hint of annoyance. âHe might try to escape, and I donât feel like chasing him around all night.â
Chris grabbed his forehead with his hand in frustration, and took a deep cleansing breath. âAlright, fine,â he conceded.
âSo what happens now?â Kate asked.
Chris looked at her and took another breath. âWell, now Iâll take him to a tribe of our people so he can learn our ways, learn how to be a hybreed.â
"And then heâll come back?â
âThatâs up to him,â Rachel said. âA lot of hybreed donât come back. They like what they find.â
âBut what about his family? What about Nichole and Tristan?â
âItâs best if they donât know in case he doesnât come back. That way they can chalk it up to a missing person or an animal attack.â
âWhat?â Kate protested, offended by Rachelâs statement.
âI know it sounds harsh,â Chris said, âbut believe it or not, sometimes itâs the best way for the family to deal with their disappearance. Sometimes a hybreed will tell his family that they got another job, or theyâre going to college or something, but many times itâs just easier for the family to think they disappeared. For most people itâs a lot easer than explaining the real reason, no matter how much we donât like it.â
Kateâs eyes widened. The message that Ollie left for her came back to mind. âBut what if they already know heâs a werewolf?â
Last edited by Grayle (2009-03-16 11:57:41)
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Very nice! She does raise an interesting point, what if he has told his family? More please!
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Thanks again, Wolfsong!
This next post is a little long, but I chose to keep the scene shorter than it could have been. Even so, I think I still got the main points to come across to the reader successfully. The problem is the banter at the beginning. I'm not sure it works; I think it may be too obscure or something. You tell me.
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Both Chris and Kate lifted Ollie out of the car, careful not to shift the towel tied around his waist. They hoisted him to the front door as Rachel rang the doorbell.
âThis could get ugly,â Rachel commented.
âWhy?â Chris asked as Kate grunted under Ollieâs weight.
âBecause if sheâs a loyal as Kate says, she wonât be cooperative.â
Chris sighed with exasperation; apparently Rachelâs cynicism had gotten to him. He turned his head toward Rachel.
âYou know, when it comes to attitudes and facial expressions, youâre definitely a winter,â he said sarcastically. âA little bit of faith would really bring out your eyesâŚâ and he batted his eyelashes at her, accompanied by an insincere toothy grin.
Rachel turned to Chris in irritation. âTwo words,â she said in a threatening tone, using her fingers to emphasize each, ââdog,â âmuzzle.ââ
âFive words,â Chris retaliated, ââBite,â âmy,â âfurry,â âlupineââŚâ
Scuffling from the other side of the door indicated that it was about to open. Both Chris and Rachel stopped their argument and faced the door. A few seconds later the door was opened by a woman who looked to be in her late forties, with curled blond hair meeting her shoulders and collar of her closed robe. When her eyes caught sight of Ollie they widened, and so did the door. Kate led Chris and their burden to the living room, and they gently placed Ollie on the couch.
âWhat happened?â the woman said in astonishment, and looked at Kate.
âIs Tristan in bed?â Kate asked her.
âY-yes, of course. What happened?â
Kate looked at her with loving concern. âNichole, I need to ask you a question first.â
Nichole looked at her with a loss of explanation, but nodded her agreement.
âDo you already know Uncle Ollieâs secret?â
Nicholeâs eyes narrowed with scrutiny. She glanced at Chris and Rachel, who looked at her with tempered anticipation. She looked back at Kate, who did her best to convey sympathy and assurance in her eyes. Finally Nichole straightened her posture. âSo you know, too?â she said to Kate.
âI just found out,â Kate confirmed, and gestured to the agents. âThis is Chris Hansen and Rachel Blackwood from Department 118. They know his secret, but donât worry; they donât mean Uncle Ollie any harm.â
Nichole looked again at the agents, her gaze silently sizing them up. âCan you help him?â she asked candidly.
âYes; absolutely,â Chris assured her, confidence and sincerity radiating from his expression.
âHang on, Chris,â Rachel said, and directed her attention to Nichole. âWhat do you mean when you say âhelp,â Mrs. Taylor?â
âCan you cure him?!â Nichole blurted with frustration quivering her voice.
âWhy, is he sick?â
âWhat?â
Rachel sighed, crossed her arms dropped her shoulders. âWhat makes you think being a werewolf needs a cure, Mrs. Taylor? Such a biased comment might offend other werewolves in the room, like Chris.â
Nichole looked at Rachel with astonished disbelief on her face. Her gaze shifted to Chris, who meekly smiled and waved. âHi. No offense taken. But we do prefer to be called âhybreedâ over âwerewolf,â just so as you know.â
âH-hybreed?â Nichole stuttered.
âYes, thatâs what weâre called. At some point in the last year your husband was bitten by a hybreed and eventually became one himself. Iâm one too.â
Nichole looked upon her sleeping husband, then at the night sky through a living room window, and then looked again at Chris. âBut heâs not⌠and youâre notâŚâ
âIn our hybreed forms?â
Nichole nodded.
âNo; I have control over my shifting ability, and now so does your husband. The full moon wonât come into play anymore. He can shift form whenever he wants. And heâll be self-aware from now on, too; heâll be your husband in either form. You see, when a hybreed shifts form, often times his subconscious-â
âSave it for later, Chris,â Rachel interrupted.
Suddenly a groan was heard from Ollie, and his arm began to move. Chris immediately gave a warning look to Rachel, who raised her hands up in surrender and rolled her eyes. Both Kate and Nichole ran over to Ollie and knelt down, waiting to look him in the eyes. When his eyes opened they focused on Nichole, and then Kate, both of whom were smiling back at him with loving concern.
âWhere am I?â he asked.
âYouâre home, baby,â Nichole informed him. âYouâre safe.â
Ollie looked at Katie as awareness of the nights events coursed across his face.
âKatie, are you alright?â
âIâm fine, Uncle Ollie. You didnât hurt me or anyone else.â
Ollie frowned with confusion. âBut they said they knew you were a werewolf.â
âItâs okay, you never bit me or attacked me,â she explained softly. âIâm not a hybreed. They were just baiting you to make you try to shift form on your own, and you did. Everythingâs okay.â
Ollie sighed in slight awkwardness, and looked around the living room. His countenance fell as his eyes met Rachel and Chris. âSo the secretâs out, I take it?â
âHave no fear, Sheriff,â Chris assured him. âYour secrets are safe with us, as long as our secrets are safe with you.â
Ollie frowned at the comment, then rubbed his temples and sat up. When he became aware of his current attire, he became very careful when sitting up and tried to change the subject, probably to avoid embarrassment. âSo who was that other one?â
âUh, that was me,â Chris said.
Ollie looked at him with surprise. âYou?â
âYes, Sheriff.â
Ollie stared at Chris for a few seconds, his expression indefinable. He seemed to be recalling the nightâs events. He redirected his attention on Chris once more, looking him over. âIt was you, wasnât it?â he asked.
Chris nodded with the same raised eyebrow and smirk on his face as he used before.
Suddenly Ollie began to smile with a slight laugh. âSpecialist my ass.â
Chris shrugged and brandished a meek smirk. âWell, Iâd be a fool if I claimed to know everything about our people.â
Ollie looked at him curiously. âOur âpeopleâ? We have a people?â
Chris nodded and smiled knowingly. âYour world is about to get a lot bigger, Sheriff Taylor.â
Last edited by Grayle (2009-03-17 18:48:13)
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Love it! I don't think the dialogue at the beginning is a problem. I think it fits well, and is kinda funny.
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Thanks for the info, Wolfsong. If you think it works, I'll keep it.
Alrighty, here's the rest of it. Please feel free to list your final thoughts and reviews at your convenience. I'd love to read what everyone has to say, for good or ill. As you know, this story was told in a different perspective than any of its forebears, and I'd like to know about any mixups or unclear points or whether the characters seemed true to what you already know about them (especially Rachel). Critiques appreciated, reviews much obliged, and praise can follow in behind if it needs to. But above all, honesty is greatly sought after and respected.
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The summer heat was mild, and the sunlight seemed to shine even in the shade. Kate tossed Ollieâs shoulder bag into the back of the white ground-bound vehicle, and then looked back at Ollie and Nicholeâs house. Just outside the door Ollie was squatting down, talking to his nine-year-old son, Tristan. Kate admired the loving, gentle way Ollie had with Tristan, Nichole and herself, but also recognized his fierce loyalty and protective nature, no doubt intensified by the wolf nature of his hybreed existence. He was truly an Alpha leader, but even leaders need guidance from time to time.
Tristan gave his father a great big hug, and then stepped back. Ollie stood and gave his wife a hug and a kiss, and then spoke with her for a while. Suddenly Kate became aware that Chris was standing next to her.
âAre you sure you donât want to come along?â he asked.
Kate smiled. âYeah. I donât think it would be right for the sheriff and the clerical assistant to leave the office for two months at the same time.â
âYou probably wouldnât be gone as long as he will.â
âMaybe not, but better safe than sorry; Iâll wait my turn.â
âWell, tell you what I can do: if youâd like I can have a friend of mine swing by here; sheâs telepathic. She can give you all kinds of tips and pointers. Letâs face it: the more you know about your abilities, the better off youâll be; just like with Sheriff Taylor.â
Kate looked up at Chris and thought about the offer. As long as it was on her terms, maybe it would be a good idea. âMaybe in a few weeks after Ollieâs been gone for a while. Things might be a little awkward until we get used to all of this, so one thing at a time, you know?â
Chris smiled. âOh, I know; trust me.â
Ollie walked up and gave Kate an enormous hug. âKatie, again, Iâm really sorry for everything I put you through in the last few months.â
âWill you stop it already?â Kate insisted. âItâs not your fault I was picking up on your brainwaves.â
Ollie brought up a finger for emphasis. âYeah, about that: Nikki knows but Tristan doesnât. I think thatâs best.â
âGot it. I think youâre right.â She glanced toward Chris and then returned her attention to Ollie. âTake care of yourself, okay?â
Ollie shrugged. âItâs only for a couple of months, Iâll be fine. But Iâll call when we get to Dep:118, and if you guys need me, you can relay a message through them. Iâve already confirmed that with their Overlord.â He narrowed his eyes at Kate. âAnd that doesnât need to be the only reason you call them, either.â
âI know, I know,â Kate groaned, pretending to be irritated by the nagging, but she knew her smile betrayed her happiness.
âReady to go?â Chris asked as he opened the rear door of the car.
âReady as Iâll ever be,â Ollie responded. He sighed and gave Kate one last hug, and then climbed into the vehicle.
Kate looked at Chris as he opened his door.
âDonât worry, Iâll watch him every step of the way, and Iâll bring him back safe and sound.â
âYouâd better,â Kate threatened, âor Iâll hunt you down and give you a nightmare or two myself.â
Chris laughed, and then climbed into the car. Ollie waved at his family once more as the vehicle pulled away.
And as Agent Blackwood drove the car down the road, Kateâs eyes followed the car but her mind looked to the future with hope and promise instead of doom. She was telepathic, her adopted uncle was a werewolf, his wife knew about both of them, and they lived in a town where nearly half the population consisted of scoopers. Loughlin had become a small pocket of oddity, alone in the wilderness away from the Empireâs vigilant eye, rejecting typical reality and substituting its own.
But Kate didnât mind any of it, because even though it was out of the ordinary, she wasnât alone or in danger.
Well, it was manageable, at least.
--The End.
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That was a good ending. I think the story is a total winner, great job Grayle!
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Bravo! *applauds*
It was a very interesting story, and it was nice reading about hybreed and Dep. 118 again. Too bad it was just a short story
I wonder about Gwen though. What happened to her?
Last edited by Edo (2009-03-19 15:45:46)
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Thank you very much for the feedback, guys.
In answer to your question, Edo, I've had to do some re-thinking about my novel. Originally it was 3 parts, encompassing over 150k words. Rumor has it that was too large, and part three with Gwen didn't really fit with the other two.
So, I've removed part three, bringing the novel down to just over 100k words. I will be using Part 3 as Part 1 of a sequel. Part 2 of the sequel will focus on getting Gwen back and taking down Raaym (if possible), as well as the trauma that Gwen inherits from Raaym's treatment and how both she and Chris will cope with it. I still haven't decided whether there will be a marriage involved. Any thoughts on that would be appreciated as well.
As to the next story, titled Night Terrors: From the Files of Department 118, I haven't ironed out all the kinks for the setting or the individuals involved. I can say that it will be a story dealing with Chris and a few members of the family. However, it will be a while before I post it.
Last edited by Grayle (2009-03-19 18:20:05)
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That sounds really good. Though I don't mind long novels at all (the longer the better ), this sounds much better. The parts with Gwen were a bit weird in some places.
How long will Night Terrors be? And when you say dealing with Chris and a few members of the family, is it in the same way as this story is, or is the story about Chris again? I already can't wait for it
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Grayle wrote:
Thank you very much for the feedback, guys.
In answer to your question, Edo, I've had to do some re-thinking about my novel. Originally it was 3 parts, encompassing over 150k words. Rumor has it that was too large, and part three with Gwen didn't really fit with the other two.
So, I've removed part three, bringing the novel down to just over 100k words. I will be using Part 3 as Part 1 of a sequel. Part 2 of the sequel will focus on getting Gwen back and taking down Raaym (if possible), as well as the trauma that Gwen inherits from Raaym's treatment and how both she and Chris will cope with it. I still haven't decided whether there will be a marriage involved. Any thoughts on that would be appreciated as well.
As to the next story, titled Night Terrors: From the Files of Department 118, I haven't ironed out all the kinks for the setting or the individuals involved. I can say that it will be a story dealing with Chris and a few members of the family. However, it will be a while before I post it.
Cool, I'd love to see Chris stick it to Raaym for good!
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Edo wrote:
The parts with Gwen were a bit weird in some places.
How long will Night Terrors be? And when you say dealing with Chris and a few members of the family, is it in the same way as this story is, or is the story about Chris again? I already can't wait for it
Oh, I desperately need to ask, Edo, if for no other reason than posterity: What parts with Gwen were weird? I'd really like to know. That's exactly the kind of thing I need to know...
I'm expecting Night Terrors to be novella length, anywhere from 17k to 30k in word count, kinda like Hybreed: Confrontations or Identity Crisis. I can't seem to get them any smaller without losing character development. The story deals with something that happens to Chris, something unexpected and unprecedented.
Oooooh! Unexpected and unprecedented! I like the way that sounds! Maybe I'll use it in the story...
I was thinking of telling the story from Phil's viewpoint, or Rachel's, or even Jake's. Both Dad and Julie as well as Scott and Emily are not in the story, but Shannon and Michelle may make a cameo as they depart for a Case investigation. Each has their pros and cons, and it's taking me a while to get the details arranged just right.
wolfsongx wrote:
Cool, I'd love to see Chris stick it to Raaym for good!
Well, I haven't even started on Part 2 of the sequel yet, but I agree. Raaym should get what's coming to him, and Chris should probably deliver it. Or maybe Gwen, for the sake of closure. Again, I haven't even started on an outline for it yet.
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Well it wasn't bad at all, but I couldn't really understand why Gwen would still follow Raaym and then stay with them for all that time... Was it just instinct of following other hybreed? And the part where Gwen had come back was a bit short. But it was still very well written, and I don't really see how it could be different without changing too much. This must be pretty useless to you, but meh.
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Ah, I understand. Thanks for the insight - that helps out a lot. In no way is it useless; in fact, it tells me that my thoughts were on track!
You are correct - she ran off with the pack in a panicked state, and her instincts inclined her to escape with the group of her people. I think I need to explain that a little more directly.
You may also be happy to know that I felt kinda similar about the ending of Part 3. I totally re-wrote the ending to that part. Remember how Gaarn was caught trying to apply for a position with Dep:118, and that cameo with the Sawtooth Pack? All of that was forcibly removed. Now it ends with Dad telling Chris that Gwen was sighted in the streets of Culmna. They don't bring her to Chris at the end. I'm saving that possibility for the second part of the sequel.
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Grayle wrote:
Edo wrote:
The parts with Gwen were a bit weird in some places.
How long will Night Terrors be? And when you say dealing with Chris and a few members of the family, is it in the same way as this story is, or is the story about Chris again? I already can't wait for itOh, I desperately need to ask, Edo, if for no other reason than posterity: What parts with Gwen were weird? I'd really like to know. That's exactly the kind of thing I need to know...
I'm expecting Night Terrors to be novella length, anywhere from 17k to 30k in word count, kinda like Hybreed: Confrontations or Identity Crisis. I can't seem to get them any smaller without losing character development. The story deals with something that happens to Chris, something unexpected and unprecedented.
Oooooh! Unexpected and unprecedented! I like the way that sounds! Maybe I'll use it in the story...
I was thinking of telling the story from Phil's viewpoint, or Rachel's, or even Jake's. Both Dad and Julie as well as Scott and Emily are not in the story, but Shannon and Michelle may make a cameo as they depart for a Case investigation. Each has their pros and cons, and it's taking me a while to get the details arranged just right.
wolfsongx wrote:
Cool, I'd love to see Chris stick it to Raaym for good!
Well, I haven't even started on Part 2 of the sequel yet, but I agree. Raaym should get what's coming to him, and Chris should probably deliver it. Or maybe Gwen, for the sake of closure. Again, I haven't even started on an outline for it yet.
Oooo, that's good too!
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FINALLY got caught up. I would have posted yesterday, but I got my internet bill and nearly DIED!
Anyways, as I was reading through it, I was thinking "Oh no! How could the Department want to kill her?!" There were so many twists and turns the whole way that I never knew what to expect. It was a total shocker that Kate was not a werewolf and instead a telepath. Very good plot twist. Also, the description was spot on so the reader could follow along very nicely without confusion. Overall, I'm pleased with the happy ending, it made me smile. And I didn't spot any errors at all. You're good!!
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Actually a big reason I joined the site is because I love reading your stories Grayle. I've read all the Files of Department 118 pieces all the way through at least once and just didn't think to join until very recently. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that your stories are awesome and please post more soon if you have any. Also one suggestion for continuing the main plot; I noticed that while part 2 has some very intriguing events occurring due to Crayne's actions you include basically nothing about it in part 3, yes I know you wrote part 3 first. As you continue it might be a good idea to tie the whole Chris, Gwen relationship in with the Crayne plot, advancing each one individually really feels more like two separate stories with the same world and characters, and one plot doesn't really seem to affect the other.
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