me neither
Offline
wolfsongx wrote:
Coming soon. Hopefully an update, maybe the final epilogue. I think I've got the basics for the story from start to end, now to work on refining and polishing it up. All critiques are welcome.
I'm looking forward to how you finish the story, Wolfsong - and if you want a proofreader for the current draft, I can do it for you. If you'd like, you can send me a copy via email and I'll go through it for you. Just contact me via email if that sounds good to you.
Offline
BrokenHowls wrote:
This is a really good story wolfsongx, I can't wait for the next part
Golly, thanks!
Offline
Moonfur wrote:
me neither
Thank you Moonfur, I hope you like the last bit.
Offline
Grayle wrote:
wolfsongx wrote:
Coming soon. Hopefully an update, maybe the final epilogue. I think I've got the basics for the story from start to end, now to work on refining and polishing it up. All critiques are welcome.
I'm looking forward to how you finish the story, Wolfsong - and if you want a proofreader for the current draft, I can do it for you. If you'd like, you can send me a copy via email and I'll go through it for you. Just contact me via email if that sounds good to you.
Really!? Thanks Grayle! I will piece it together this weekend and send a copy your way. Thanks so much for your help and input. I don't think I'd have made it to the end without your help!
Offline
Part 38 Epilogue
She sat on the edge of the bed, looking deeply into the old photograph in the tarnished frame. “It’s that day again, “she thought to herself as she ran her finger over the face in the photograph. Her mind was so engrossed she didn’t hear the soft knock on her door. Memories of the good times and the bad whirled in her head until she felt a hand press upon her shoulder. Startled she looked up at the young man standing beside her.
“You alright mom?”
She smiled and petted the young man’s hand, “I’m alright, just taking a stroll down memory lane.” She handed him the picture and stretched her legs as she stood up from the bed; she realized she had been sitting there longer than she first thought.
“This is a good picture of her, “the young man remarked, “I remember that she never liked sitting for the camera.”
“Yep, she was quite the character. Let me get my jacket and I’ll be downstairs in a minuet honey.”
“Okay mom.” The young man sat the framed picture on the dresser as he walked out of the room. The woman sighed to herself and said softly, “Momma, I wish you were here now.” She put on her jacket and picked up the picture once more and kissed the glass. “I love you momma.”
Minuets later Elizabeth and Julian left the farm house and climbed into the old pickup truck. Julian got into the driver seat and started the truck while Elizabeth clutched a wreath of dried wildflowers. “Now take it easy with the gas son, don’t scare me with your driving now.”
Julian shot his mother a nasty look but then chuckled to himself, “Okay mom, I’ll do my best not to scare you.” They both chortled as the truck headed down the old dirt driveway to the county road. After several minuets of bumping along the old highway, the old truck pulled to a stop along the road side. “That is it, right there, right mom?” Julian pointing to a small pathway in the field next to them. It was barely noticeable, but for people with senses sharp enough, it was very obvious.
“That’s the one.” Elizabeth said.
Carefully they exited the truck and made their way down the path and into the forest beyond the field. A cold autumn wind rustled the branches of the trees; taking a few more leaves from the thinning boughs. Mother and son walked together in a reverent science; no words were needed to express what they were feeling, just the two of them being there, together, was all they needed.
When they reached the end of the path they found a small clearing and in the center was one large stone. On the stone were strange markings, made by the claws of something wild. Elizabeth approached the stone and laid the wreath of flowers upon it, and began to cry. Julian moved forward and put his arms around his mother as tears filled his eyes too. Together they cried and held each other, and when their eyes ceased their tearing, they tuned around and made their way back along the path. As they left, a bead of water ran down the front of the stone. She wanted to cry out to her daughter and grandson, but she knew it would only cause them to stay, and Agatha knew that they had to return to the farmhouse. The family must continue doing as they have done from their beginning, for their work was never really done.
Offline
woot!love it
Offline
Very nice wolfsongx! It's well worth the read and I think that anyone that hasn't read it should ^_^ I'd love to know what that entity was meant to properly symbolise though? Was it meant to be a real creature? or the pain of the transformation or temptation? or anything else?
Last edited by BrokenHowls (2009-08-27 14:17:24)
Offline
Moonfur wrote:
woot!love it
Golly! Thanks Moonfur!
Offline
BrokenHowls wrote:
Very nice wolfsongx! It's well worth the read and I think that anyone that hasn't read it should ^_^ I'd love to know what that entity was meant to properly symbolise though? Was it meant to be a real creature? or the pain of the transformation or temptation? or anything else?
Thanks BrokenHowls. I'm happy you enjoyed it. As for the entity, I kinda envision it as entropy incarnate.
Offline
Ah right ^_^ interesting
Offline
that was teh sweetness of awesome town. XD almost like sweet candy. lol
Offline
Very interesting epilogue, Wolfsong.
The tone of finality is prevalent throughout the epilogue, giving a feeling of ending, but it feels like the ending of a different chapter, not the current one. It feels as though this epilogue is meant to entice more questions than reveal answers. Using speculation, I'd say Agatha sacrificed herself to the entity or perhaps fell prey to it, turning to living stone as her family's safety was preserved. Of course, you don't explain what happened, so the reader is left wondering how this turn of events came to be.
It's a soft ending, filled with contentment as well as hope for the family and Julian, not to mention Elizabeth. Therefore we wonder what happened between Julian's ceremony and the epilogue, and as a result you have an obligation to your readers to fill that void. (That's actually just a plea for more; hope it's not too strong.)
Technical Stuff:
I understand your musical nature, but I'm not certain replacing the word 'minute' with the musical term 'minuet' would get past an editor. Other than that there isn't any glaring anomalies, and the flow of the epilogue is steady as well as somber. It's a good bit of writing, Wolfsong.
I can hardly stress enough that the living stone bears explanation, not to mention the plight which met the rest of the family. I certainly hope you bring on another story, for no other reason than our enjoyment your wonderful writing and storytelling abilities.
Well done, Wolfsong.
P.S. - The proofreading offer still stands. Just send me an email to hammer out the details, okay?
Offline
Goldie wrote:
that was teh sweetness of awesome town. XD almost like sweet candy. lol
Golly, thanks Goldie!
Offline
Grayle wrote:
Very interesting epilogue, Wolfsong.
The tone of finality is prevalent throughout the epilogue, giving a feeling of ending, but it feels like the ending of a different chapter, not the current one. It feels as though this epilogue is meant to entice more questions than reveal answers. Using speculation, I'd say Agatha sacrificed herself to the entity or perhaps fell prey to it, turning to living stone as her family's safety was preserved. Of course, you don't explain what happened, so the reader is left wondering how this turn of events came to be.
It's a soft ending, filled with contentment as well as hope for the family and Julian, not to mention Elizabeth. Therefore we wonder what happened between Julian's ceremony and the epilogue, and as a result you have an obligation to your readers to fill that void. (That's actually just a plea for more; hope it's not too strong.)
Technical Stuff:
I understand your musical nature, but I'm not certain replacing the word 'minute' with the musical term 'minuet' would get past an editor. Other than that there isn't any glaring anomalies, and the flow of the epilogue is steady as well as somber. It's a good bit of writing, Wolfsong.
I can hardly stress enough that the living stone bears explanation, not to mention the plight which met the rest of the family. I certainly hope you bring on another story, for no other reason than our enjoyment your wonderful writing and storytelling abilities.
Well done, Wolfsong.
P.S. - The proofreading offer still stands. Just send me an email to hammer out the details, okay?
Roger that, thanks Grayle! I'll shoot you an email later this week probably, I'm a little behind on things, as usual. I'm glad you liked the epilogue, I hope to come up with more to fill in the gap from Julian's transformation to the epilogue.
Offline
i am now confused. Where's Agitha, or rather, where is nearly everyone? i feel like i missed something.
Offline
I like that! I really enjoy reading his story. I can't wait for the next chapter of your story. It seems like a real life story. By the way, I just want to know what that entity was meant to properly symbolize?
_________________
Offline