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#1 2009-09-14 13:08:42

Chandra Lowell
Member
From: The Other World
Registered: 2009-05-15
Posts: 57
Website

Chandra Lowell and the Dragons Sapphire

This is another book I'm writing. I've finished Moon-Struck and someone might illistraight it while someone in my family is looking for a publisher.
So here is another book that is my Werewolf like.
This is about a Werewolf, Chandra Lowell, who is 11 going to be 12 and her friends, Mitena and Candra. It is their first year at the Werewolf school Asdions.

Chapter One
Last day of School

Chandra Lowell woke up on the 2nd of June.
"Last day of Primary School" she jumped out of bed and ran straight to her Mum and Dads room, Fang was close behind her. Fang was a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Blenheim colour. Or so everyone thought.
Chandras brother was at School. He went to a 'Special' School and not in type everyone thinks. Her brother, Ulmar, is very intelligent but, like his family, has a Secret.
Candra, Chandras mother, got out of Bed.
Candra has brownish hair. She says she is a red head but it looks brown.
She has brown eyes and is a kind and determined person and a loving mother.
"Ok, I'm up. C'mon we better get breakkie before you going to your last day of Primary 7" her mother was excited as well. Her youngest child off to her High School made Candra feel upset, she wouldn’t see either of them apart from the Summer Holidays.
Once they'd had breakfast Candra and Chandra got in the Car and started driving to her School.
“Hey Mitena, come over here!” Chandra called to Mitena, one of her best Friends.
“Hi Chandra” Mitena called back.
“Where’s Candra?” Chandra asked.
“Right here” they heard a familiar voice.
“Candra!” Mitena and Chandra shouted in unison.
“They gang’s all here” Candra was as excited as Mitena and Chandra.
The bell rang,
“We better get in line” Chandra muttered.
“Why? We can’t loose Golden Time ‘cause it’s our last day and it’s Thursday” Candra muttered.
“You’re right” Chandra remembered, the teachers couldn’t do nothin’ about it.
“Hardy can’t stop us this time!” Mitena shouted.
They walked slowly to the door.
Mrs Hardlast opened the door.
“Yikes!” Chandra whispered to Mitena and Candra as they ran for the door.


Author of Moon-Struck and the Chandra Lowell series.
Welcome to my happy world now get your sh*t and leave-Snape is Happy song

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#2 2009-09-14 16:44:31

Berserker
Member
From: Athens, GA
Registered: 2008-10-31
Posts: 49

Re: Chandra Lowell and the Dragons Sapphire

Is this a book for children? It would seem so, but if not, there are quite a few things wrong with it. The amount of material here is extremely scant; this text would barely fit on a single page, much less an entire chapter. There are many spelling and grammar errors. The writing style is very simplistic, without much variation in character dynamic or voice, and there's not enough detail.


Our Marcuse, only better.

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#3 2009-10-04 13:11:38

Chandra Lowell
Member
From: The Other World
Registered: 2009-05-15
Posts: 57
Website

Re: Chandra Lowell and the Dragons Sapphire

Yeah it is a childrens book and that is just part of Chapter One.
I thought that it had a certain amount for each message.
The Full Chapter one is 4 1/4 A4 computer pages long


Author of Moon-Struck and the Chandra Lowell series.
Welcome to my happy world now get your sh*t and leave-Snape is Happy song

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#4 2009-10-07 02:50:46

Grayle
Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006
Website

Re: Chandra Lowell and the Dragons Sapphire

I like how you are keeping the terminology at the level of your target audience, but I'm afraid they may get the names a little mixed up. I did.

Not too much else to go by, but it would be interesting to see how younger ones like the idea of reading about werewolf 'cubs'. I'd read it.


To thy known wolf be true...


"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir

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#5 2009-10-23 13:14:14

Chandra Lowell
Member
From: The Other World
Registered: 2009-05-15
Posts: 57
Website

Re: Chandra Lowell and the Dragons Sapphire

That's why it's a Boarding School so there are no people with the same names


Author of Moon-Struck and the Chandra Lowell series.
Welcome to my happy world now get your sh*t and leave-Snape is Happy song

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