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#101 2010-01-02 02:56:55

From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 161

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

nice post keep it coming

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist



#102 2010-01-02 03:43:47

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

Ahhh, Lonewolf... you are one very loyal wolf smile
I am very glad to have you with me as I continue to write this story.

Here's my next segment.  It's shorter than my usual posts but I kind of like the suspenseful situation it leaves off at.  There's one more post after this one that brings us to the end of chapter six big_smile


       Sean moved up to the back wall of the restaurant so it would help to block out some of the city noise.  He adjusted his hearing so that it would be able to hear more than his normal human ears could.  Then he dialed the number Chris had used to contact Tara last night, and listened to the digital ring from his phone.

       “Hello?” came Tara’s voice from the other end.

       “Tara, it’s me…,” Sean paused a second to give her a chance to recognize who she was speaking to, “Sean.”

       “Sean?!” she shouted in dismay. “What are you doing calling me?  Where are you?” Sean could tell that she was mad and had no idea why he was calling her.  From the sounds he could make out in the background she was driving, but he couldn’t hear anything to distinguish where.

       “I’m still in the parking lot of the restaurant.  I never left.”

       “You’re lying.  I waited until the last person left and locked the door.  You never came out.  You’re avoiding me and I told you that it would be something you would regret.” She sounded angry but something in the undertone of her voice told Sean there was some doubt.

       “If I’m lying then why don’t you test me with that little thing you were holding in your hand?” She was silent for a moment, and then he heard her rustle about as though she was searching for something.  When he heard the noise cease he spoke again. “I never went beyond the parking lot of the restaurant.”

       “Where’d you go?”

       “I went out the back door.”

       “You were avoiding me weren’t you?” she fired off her accusation like the crack of a bullet.

       “No!  I wasn’t,” Sean said more forcefully than he intended.

       “Then why’d you do it?”

       “I had a problem, but I fixed it.”

       “What sort of problem?” Her question made Sean pause for a second.  He didn’t want to answer that in detail.

       “It was personal.  Look if we’re going to talk I’d rather do this in person”

       “Personal?” she said in disbelief. “You lost your privilege to privacy when you got involved with me and my friends.”

       “What?!  What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Sean couldn’t believe she was trying to make him look like the one who victimized Chris. “I saved Chris’ life and you’re accusing me like I was the one who attacked her.”

       “How do I know that?  All I know is that Chris got her head split open and you were around when it happened.  You’ve been hiding the truth from me since the moment I met you.  So, no, I don’t trust you.  If you want to come clean with me, fine, I’ll give you that chance.  But if you so much as try anything else, I won’t even give you the opportunity to blink before I put you down.” She was aggressive, and Sean could tell that she was every bit as true to herself as he had seen represented by that golden ball.

       “Ok.  Where do you want to meet?” 

       Before Sean could finish his question a car came pulling into the parking lot.  He was taken by surprise as it pulled up right in front of him with its high beams impairing his vision.  Sean knew who it had to be.

       “Right where you’re standing,” was the last thing Tara said before she hung up.

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-01-02 03:45:20)



#103 2010-01-02 14:58:03

Registered: 2009-12-01
Posts: 127

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

nice segment. 

I didnt mean in music class and you had mentioned earlier if the story that he had partial success transforming with mediation so i figure why not a harp out in park or somewhere secluded.

All i took from Sean and Tara's encounter was that it just seemed to build the tension between them.



#104 2010-01-02 16:13:26

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

I'll keep that suggestion in mind mrRW.  I might actually have a scene in mind where something like that can work, but I have to sit on it and let it stew, you know, to find the best way to present it in a light I feel works with my overall story plan.  I think I let my subconscious fill in some words there... something in regards to how music tames the beast.  I'm pretty sure you're familiar with that phrase.

And yes the tension builds between Sean and Tara.  He doesn't yet know who or what she is, and during his time spent living with his uncle he has been warned about the many hidden supernatural things in the world.  Could Tara be a threat to him?  You'll see in this next post that concludes chapter six. 

I'm a big fan of Jim Butcher's books, "The Dresden Files" and "The Sword of Truth" series by Terry Goodkind.  I didn't realize it at first but I guess I kind of paid them a little tribute in this scene.  See what you think.

Read, enjoy and comment please smile


       Sean closed his phone and tucked it away into his pocket without taking his eyes off of the vehicle.  It was an older style Cadillac, completely white, possibly mid eighties.  Sean was never good at identifying cars, but he knew a little bit.  From what he could hear of the engine it sounded like the owner took good care of it.

       The driver side door opened, and out stepped the silhouette of Tara.  She closed the door, leaving the car running, and walked around the front to stand between the two blinding spotlights.  Sean could make out that she was now wearing a long coat, possibly synthetic leather by the smell of it, and thought he caught the outline of a long barrel shotgun in her hand.  When she took her stance in front of him and he heard the click, it confirmed she was aiming a gun in his direction.

       “So, how have I held up to lie detector?” he asked in an attempt to break the ice.

       “Good so far,” she admitted, “but you haven’t told me much yet, have you?  Why were you following Chris?”

       “I can tell you, but that depends on what you already know about her.” Sean didn’t know anything about the woman standing in front of him, and if she had no idea about Chris he wasn’t about to betray her.

       “What do you mean by that?”

       “Are you aware that she’s special?” Although it was difficult, Sean thought that he could make out the rhythm of Tara’s steady heartbeat, and he listened carefully for any kind of stress, or skipped beat that would indicate she may be lying.

       “Yes,” She responded.  Her heart rhythm stayed constant.  She was calm cool and collected, and he was sure the shotgun he could barely see wasn’t wavering in the slightest.

       “Well, that’s why I was following her.  When I first met Chris she attempted to poke around in my head.  I guess she couldn’t tell that I could feel her every time she tried, until one day she startled me.  Ever since then she’s been to avoiding me.

       “Why were you following her?”

       “I wanted to know more about her, and to find out if she was a threat to me.”

       “And…,” Tara drew the word out indicating that she wanted Sean to give another reason. “What else?”

       “What do you mean what else?” Sean believed he was being a hundred percent truthful with her, so when she pursued her line of questioning he wasn’t pretending to be confused.

       “My little sword here is saying there’s more that you’re not telling.”

       Tara shifted her left hand that was holding the barrel of the gun, and a miniature sword dangled from a chain.  Sean realized it must’ve been the item that he suspected she was hiding during their first encounter within the restaurant.  If it was able to do more than just tell her if he was lying, and could show her half truths whether or not the person being questioned knew it, what Tara held was a very valuable magical item.  Sean was aware if he was going to gain her trust he would have to be completely honest with her.

       He searched deep within himself trying to find the truth. “To make sure she got home safe?” he answered, not sure if that was what Tara’s sword expected.

       “Don’t ask me.  Say it in a statement form.”

       “A picky little item,” Sean thought to himself.  Then he repeated the question without doubt.

       “Huh… You’re telling the truth.” Tara lowered the gun, taking some of the pressure off of Sean.  The whole time they were talking he was doing his best to sort out the myriad smells before him trying to pick out anything with the slightest bit of silver, but to his relief he found nothing.

       “Now the important question,” Tara continued her interrogation, “What are you?”

       “I’m a shapeshifter.” Sean responded straight forwardly, and without hesitating.  He could’ve told her that he was a werewolf, but he didn’t want to give everything away.

       “What kind of shapeshifter?”

       “I’ve answered a lot of your questions.  How about you answer some of mine?” Sean said as he took a couple of steps toward her.  Maybe it was stupid, but he wanted to see if she really did have anything that she could harm him with.

       “Watch it!  I’m still holding a gun.” Tara lifted the gun and pointed it leveled with the center of his body mass.  She even took a couple of steps closer to him letting him know she didn’t mind the opportunity for a point blank shot.

       “If you want you can go ahead and shoot me,” Sean dared her. “It won’t do you much good.”

       “Oh, really?” Sean could make out the lines of her face create a single raised eyebrow. “What if I were to shoot you right between the eyes?” she offered as she closed the distance between them with two more steps, and jabbed the gun an inch away from the bridge of his nose.  Sean could see quite clearly down into the double barrel gun.  He winced at the thought of it being fired into his face.

       “I think that would really, really hurt, but I’d still get back up.” Sean didn’t back up in the slightest.  With the gun this close to him he could definitely tell there wasn’t the slightest element of silver within it.

       “Yea?  What if I told you they were silver bullets?”

       Sean smiled at her, looking down the twin barrels straight into her eyes “I’d say you were bluffing.  Nice try though.”

       Disregarding her as a threat, Sean walked past her toward her car and leaned on the front where the engine was still running.  The warmth felt nice and helped to take the nip out of the night air.  Evidently Tara didn’t like being in the light where she couldn’t see Sean, so she moved to where he was.  She seemed to wrestle with the thought of whether or not she should still keep the deadly end of the gun pointing at him.  It only took her a second to accept that the weapon she held was virtually useless against Sean, and if he really wanted to hurt her he likely would have already.

       She took up a position leaning against the car like Sean was, and they were both silent for about a minute as they considered each other and how they might move beyond this point.

       “What do you want with Chris?” Tara continued her line of questioning

       Sean shrugged. “Nothing.  I just wanted to make sure she didn’t want me.”

       “Why would you think that?”

       “Time out, Nancy Drew.  My turn.  What are you, a spellcaster?”


       “What kind?”

       “I’m not telling you that.”

       “What?!” Sean declared in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?  Are we going to spend all night playing twenty-one questions, with me going down a list of all the different types of spellcasters I know until I guess right?”  He rolled his eyes at her for the added affect. “Come on!”

       “I’m not telling you,” Tara insisted without showing any signs of giving in. “I don’t know anything about you.”

       “You just spent the past several minutes grilling me,” Sean continued, “and I answered all your questions even though I didn’t have to.” Tara glanced down at her gun, and Sean anticipated what she was going to say next. “And before you even say it, no, the shotgun wasn’t doing anything to make me talk.  I wanted to know if you were someone I had to be concerned about.”

       “Oh, I can be if you want me to.” Tara tried to make herself sound intimidating, but the affect was lost on Sean.  He felt it was more for show and that she had lost her steam.

       “I’m not looking for any trouble, Tara.  I’m just trying to keep my head down and stay out of trouble.  If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine.  I have to get home.  There’s someone waiting for me.” Sean straightened up and gave an unceremonious salute without looking at her and started walking home.

       “Who’s waiting for you?” Tara asked before he took more than five steps.

       “My cat,” Sean said over his shoulder without stopping.

       “Wait!” Tara hollered at him before he stepped out of the parking lot.  Sean turned around this time and stared back giving her a chance to say one last thing.

       “If you hop in I’ll give you a ride,” she offered.

       Sean considered her suggestion, and wondered if he should.  It wasn’t that far of walk, and she probably knew that since she had already been to where he lived when she and her friend came and got Chris.  Sean figured she would likely try to get more answers out of him, and that was her excuse for the kind gesture.  Sean told himself that she could try but he wasn’t going to give her any more information without getting something in return.

       In response to her invitation Sean headed back to the car and got in the passenger side.  She followed suit and had her door open before Sean closed his.  Tara sat behind the wheel, and Sean couldn’t help but to think she looked tiny and a little silly driving a Cadillac.  She glanced at him and he used a hand to wipe the smile off his face.

       Tara pulled the car out of the parking lot and said out of the blue, “I’m a Wizard.”

       “Ahh…,” Sean said with understanding. “That’s pretty high up there, isn’t it?” To Sean’s knowledge, Wizards were among the most important kind of spellcasters, because they weren’t limited with the spectrum of magic and had the potential to use a wider variety of spells.  Wizards were valuable and rare.

       “Yea,” Tara answered Sean. “Just so I’m clear on this, you are a werewolf, right?”

       Sean stayed quiet and just stared ahead, trying to avoid answering any more questions.  He thought it would be funny to keep her in suspense a little longer.

       “Right!?”  Tara demanded, raising her voice slightly.

       This time Sean didn’t bother hiding his smile, and he almost chuckled. “Relax, I was just teasing you,” he reassured her. “Yea I am.”

       Tara asked him to confirm a turn and he told her she was going the right way.  He gave her a brief description of the outside of his apartment complex in case she needed the reminder, but he doubted she did.  When he had felt her mind before, it was razor sharp and she knew how to store her knowledge in a way so she could easily recall information when she wanted it.

       “What do you remember happening in the alley?” Tara asked casually.

       “Honestly?  Not much.” Sean started answering her before he could catch himself, but he figured it didn’t hurt to tell her what little he could. “I remember coming around the corner, and something gripping my senses.  Whatever it was pulled the werewolf right out of me before I even knew it happened.  The next thing I know I was waking up in my apartment and Chris was lying on my couch.  I was going to call an ambulance, but she insisted on calling you.”

       “You can’t remember anything else about the alleyway?”


       “What happens when you change?  Do you black out?”

       “Yea,” Sean responded.  The question bothered him, but especially so coming from her.  There was no rational reason for it.  It just agitated him. “Can we change the topic?  This isn’t a comfortable one for me.”

       “Sean, how old are you?”

       “Twenty,” Sean didn’t know if she was trying to connect this with what they were just talking about, or if she was taking their conversation in an entirely new direction.

       Tara shook her head, and Sean thought that she might be doing it out of pity. “Well if I were you I would be trying my hardest to come to terms with being a werewolf, because if you don’t the older you get the worse it will be.”

       “What do you mean?” Sean had never heard Gregor mention this.  What did she know?  If it was important, wouldn’t his uncle have said something?

       “You can’t stay divided forever,” Tara explained. “One side will eventually win over the other, and it’s usually not the human side.  You’d be better off if you can come to terms with what you are, and surrender.”

       “I’ve been trying that.”

       She laughed, but not in a cruel way. “That’s what they all say, but I bet you haven’t.”

       “Yes I have!” Sean’s voice was more firm and he felt offended that she would think that he wasn’t trying his best to control the power he hid within himself 

       “Do you want me to see if I can help you?”

       “I guess,” He answered, uncertain what her proposal might entail.  If she could indeed do something that had a chance of helping him then he would be foolish not to swallow his pride and accept her assistance.

       “Alright, I’ll see what I can do.” She sounded pleased with herself.

       Sean stood there on the sidewalk looking at her expecting a farewell before she drove off, but instead she sat there staring ahead at nothing thinking of something else.  He thought she was trying to think of another question, and Sean started to turn away before she could hit him with it.  Before he could complete his turn she started to talk again.

       “Listen,” she said to get his attention and to give her another second to consider her next few words. “I wouldn’t normally do this, but I feel like I came down on you a little too hard, and I did swear to myself if you really were trying to help Chris then I would offer.  So, if you’re up for it, me and the girls usually eat out at someplace different every Friday night.  You’re welcomed to join us.”

       “Umm… Yea.” Again she threw something else at Sean that he wasn’t sure he ought to agree with, but he found himself doing it anyway. “I think that sounds good,” Sean said trying to reaffirm his decision.

       “Do you know where TGIF is downtown?” Tara asked as she shifted the car into drive.


       “That’s where.  Tomorrow night.  Five o’clock.  And one more thing,” she leaned her head out of the window as she started to pull away, “no funny talk about werewolves and wizards, in front of Chris and Dawn, okay?”

       She didn’t wait for a response and Sean watched her drive away taking her white car down the lamp lit street.  He figured she was probably one of those people who had to have the last word, like it meant something. 

       He continued to watch her until the car disappeared from sight, as he reflected on the odd conversation they had just shared. It was strange how easy it was for him to talk to her, and Sean mentally kicked himself for not having the foresight to think she could’ve been employing more than one magical item.  She probably had some kind of trinket that subtly made him more agreeable. 

       He didn’t know for sure, but he made a mental note to ask her when he saw her next.  If he found it to be true, he would have to be extra cautious around the little Wizard.

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-01-05 04:14:16)



#105 2010-01-02 17:07:40

From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 161

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

nice nice please post more soon.

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist



#106 2010-01-03 05:15:55

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

I shall post more soon, or at the very least post updates to let you know I'm still alive, and where I'm at with the next chapter.  Unfortunately I anticipate the next week to be slow for me in regards to getting work done on chapter 7 sad  My wife and daughter will be leaving to go up to New York to visit family and see snow (my daughters first time smile ), but they wont be leaving for another two weeks as long as nothing prevents them from going.  I'm going to have a bunch of chores to get done while they're gone, but I hope to be able to knock them out and get at least three more chapters done within a week and a half.

I don't know if I'll be able to fulfill my goal.  It's a pretty tall order and will involve me sitting at the computer for long hours like ten or more consecutive hours in a row.  I swear I can sit at my computer longer than that ignoring food, water, and even bathroom breaks.  I'm so bad my stomach even complains with very audible growls (like a wolf haha).  I'm just saying that's how bad I want to get this story written and out of me while I've got the writing bug.  I kind of feel that while my wife and kid are gone this will be my next best uninterrupted opportunity to get as much as I can committed to paper.  I don't know when I'll get my next best chance to write like I have been, and that kind of depresses me. 

I know I'm blabbing but I don't feel like I get much support from my better half with this story I'm trying to create, that's why the werewolf cafe has gotten the privilege to read it.  It's bad of me to say but I'm weak and really look forward to the few of you willing to support and take interest in what I'm writing.  For me it's just an incredible feeling to finally get this story out of me that's been sitting for years inside my imagination.  I honestly don't know if what I'm producing is worthy of eventually getting published or not, but one thing I feel for certain is that my last 3 chapters maybe even four have far exceeded my expectations, and have really made me feel like I've accomplished something.

It's always been a concern of mine of whether or not I could do the characters I have living inside my head justice.  Could I ever make them breath and give them life from a two-dimensional piece of black and white paper?  I don't know how anyone else perceives my work, but when I re-read what I have written to date I'm in shock that it actually came from me.  This has got to be so conceited of me to be talking like this, I know, and I'm sorry.  It's just right now I feel like I don't have enough people to talk with about my story or the kind of feedback I hunger for, and this place is my best outlet.

Enough of me blowing off some steam.  I just felt like sharing what was on my mind and letting anyone interested know I'm working on the first scene in chapter 7.  I've only got four pages done so far, but it's still moving forward.  Sorry to disappoint anyone who saw that I made a new post and you logged on to just read me saying bla bla bla bla.  Well back to the grind wink let me see what I can knock out tonight.

Oh yea, one more thing, I started a personal forum here called SilentStrider's Crossroads.  Took me a week to decide what to call it, but I thought that title depicted me the best.  Feel free to stop by and drop me a line everynow and then, and I'll try to keep posts like this one over there lol

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-01-04 04:43:59)



#107 2010-01-08 05:56:25

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

I'm still working on chapter 7.  I've gotten the beginning first few pages typed out and the rest of it is in an outline format.  I need to go back through it and convert it to story reading material.  I'm still wrestling with the placement of some supernatural elements to spruce up the dinner encounter.  I may get it done tomorrow at work if there isn't much for us to do and my boss doesn't have an ethic attack and finds work for us to do (I've got my bird on my shoulder and he keeps shifting from shoulder to shoulder distracting me lol ).  If you don't see a new post from me tomorrow evening/early morning then you can expect to see the next chapter, or at least the beginning of it, by the middle of next week.



#108 2010-01-08 14:06:35

From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 161

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story


"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist



#109 2010-01-19 01:18:06

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

I know this post is long and I'm sorry about that, but I couldn't decide on a good breaking point within the chapter.  There's a lot of dialogue and interaction between these four characters, so unfortunately this chapter may seem to drag on too much.  If it does indeed feel that way please let me know, so I can have some clue of how much editing and deleting I need to do.

I tried to limit the dialogue to information that may be considered important within the grand scheme I have outlined, and some of it is to help keep feeling natural instead of forced.

These three girls are going to prove to be very important to my main character, which is why I'm devoting a lot of words to develop them.  In a sense you can consider them secondary main characters.  I wonder how well they are developed at this point.  I'd love to read some feedback on that topic if you guys don't mind spending that little bit of extra time to let me know.


Chapter  7

       A gray overcast had settled over the city, and the air was full with a light mist that seemed like it was going to last for a long time.  The weather reports indicated that it would be raining all weekend and the humid cold was having a noticeable affect on the number of people that normally traveled on foot in the city.  Many people were walking around with umbrellas, but the way the rain hung in the air and drifted on the slightest breeze, the overhead protection did little to keep them dry.  The smart ones were the ones that wore rain jackets and boots, and those with a sense of style used windbreakers and matching pants if they had them.

       Sean had neither since it had never been a big concern for him.  When it had rained in the past he generally stayed inside, or where ever he was, until it ended.  In the few cases it had happened in between classes, he rushed from one building to the next.  He figured the rain was so light he wouldn’t have to worry about walking the distance from the downtown train station to the TGIF restaurant where he was supposed to meet Tara, Chris and the blond, whom he presumed was Dawn.

       He couldn’t resist yawning as he walked along the sidewalk.  He still hadn’t gotten any sleep since Thursday afternoon and he was going beyond twenty-six hours.  There was no doubt that he felt tired, but since the last nightmare experience he wasn’t ready for anymore sleep until he could take an abnormal dose of pills to ensure he wouldn’t dream.  He did contemplate going to bed right after his last class Friday morning, but he decided it wouldn’t allow him enough time to recover and get to where Tara wanted to meet him. 

       Aside from that the thought of heading into unknown territory had him unsettled.  He wasn’t sure how to prepare for what magics the short Wizard might have in store for him or what, if anything, should he expect from Dawn.  Sean thought Tara’s departing request of not mentioning any funny stuff about Wizards and werewolves was odd.  It made him second guess his original assumption of the blond.  The events of Wednesday night seemed like a blurry memory and he couldn’t recall anything specific that identified her as special, just a vague feeling.  He questioned whether or not Tara’s suggestion meant that she wasn’t in the know regarding the supernatural.

       These thoughts plagued Sean as the cold wet weather made progress in penetrating his clothes.  He walked with the hood to his sweat jacket pulled up, and his head down to protect his face from the specks of water that stayed suspended in the air.  If he was less than what he was he would probably be feeling a chill that went to his bones, but instead the only uncomfortable sensation he had to deal with was his clothes getting soaked. 

       Sean had misjudged how effective the mist was going to be at getting him wet, and he didn’t like the thought of looking inappropriate to strangers, especially a Wizard who might try to manipulate him.  He wasn’t sure what Tara’s angle on him was, but Sean wanted to present himself with as strong a front as possible.  He couldn’t just ignore her.  He felt as though they had crossed each other’s boundaries and he couldn’t rest easy until he knew where he stood with her.

       He arrived across the street from where TGIF was and stood there for a couple of minutes half hidden by one of the few trees that were allowed to grow through the concrete sidewalk.  He took the time to scan the windows to the place trying to see if on the off chance he could spot the girls he was expecting to meet.  Within a couple of seconds he was able to find the faces of Tara and Dawn sitting at a window booth, but he didn’t see Chris.  The two girls looked as though they were relaxed, and enjoying a decent conversation with an occasional laugh.  Sean checked the time on his phone and saw that he was running five minutes late, and wondered if Chris might’ve chosen not to come once she heard he was invited.

       Sean continued to watch for several more minutes in case she was actually inside and had left the table for some reason.  He checked his phone again and saw that the time was now twelve after.  He decided he had stood long enough outside in the gloomy weather and crossed the street to head on in.

       He entered the restaurant and was immediately greeted by the hostess.  Before she could finish asking him if he was alone and wanted either a table or a bar stool, Sean told her that he was meeting some others that were already there.  He thanked her politely and walked off toward the booth where his company sat.

       Sean wasn’t surprised to see that Tara was sitting facing the entrance and could see him as he approached the table.  He had his senses fully alert and focused on both girls, wary of danger.  The first and foremost subject on his mind was if they had silver on or near them.  He didn’t detect any as he walked up to the table, but that didn’t mean Tara had some way to disguise it from him.  Until he knew more about her and exactly what she was capable of he couldn’t take anything for granted.

       Tara waved to him, making it obvious to Sean which table was theirs, and letting him know she saw him.  He also suspected the gesture was to give Dawn a heads up that he was there since she was sitting with her back to him.  As Tara made her gesture Dawn turned in her seat to see Sean approach.  Both girls greeted him with a smile as he moved toward them, and he found their demeanor to be disarming.  Sean was ready to encounter an atmosphere of caution and to see signs of both girls being defensive, but instead they were warm and inviting.  Sean forced a smile onto his face and tried to duplicate the same appearance Tara and Dawn were portraying.

       They both were wearing a hint of makeup and were well dressed.  Tara smelled of the same lavender perfume he had picked up on her when they met in the backroom of (restaurant name).  Dawn smelled subtly of strawberries with the faintest hint of something Sean thought of as the fresh country air.

       Compared to both girls, Sean felt like he was underdressed.  He wore a plain black t-shirt and a pair of light blue jeans that were getting worn out around the ankles.

       “Hi,” Tara welcomed him. “Did the weather make you run late?” She made a show of eyeing him and his damp jacket.  The wet navy blue color was even darker now than it was before, which made it look black.

       “Did you walk here?” Dawn asked, picking right up where Tara’s question ended.

       There was something stunning about the sound of Dawn’s voice.  He had difficulty focusing on anything else.  He didn’t know what it was about her when she spoke, because it certainly wasn’t her mundane words.  There was something in the under tones that hid the faintest resonating hum of bells or the tinkling sound of distant wind chimes colliding on a light summer breeze.  It was odd for him to try and define it.  The echoing affect of her voice still held him, making him wish he could hear her say something else.  It didn’t matter what it was, just as long as she spoke again, and he could hear that beautiful voice once more.  He knew absolutely nothing of the wonder that sat in front of him, but the mystery of her had him riveted

       Sean forced himself to blink trying to break the mesmerizing affect that the gorgeous diva had over him.  He resisted the urge to shake his head which would have been a more dramatic measure, and he didn’t want them to realize what affect Dawn had over him simply by speaking.  She had completely caught him off guard, and so suddenly that there was no way he could’ve been prepared for the unorthodox first impression.  Sean wiped at his eyes pretending he had gotten something in them, and then he refocused on Tara and Dawn.

       “I only walked from the train platform to here.  It wasn’t that far,” Sean responded looking at both girls.  He was in the process of removing his jacket when an attentive waiter came up to him and asked if he could hang it up for him.  He was grateful for his offer and glad he wouldn’t have sit with the thing on his lap.  Dawn was kind enough to slide over and offered Sean a seat on the bench next to her.

       “You two haven’t officially met,” Tara spoke, “Dawn this is Sean.  Sean, Dawn.  She’s been my best friend since forever.”

       Sean turned toward her and cordially offered his hand.  She smiled at him again and shook it firmly.  He admired her boldness and remade his evaluation of the young woman sitting next to him. 

       Everything about her embodied beauty and innocence.  Her smiling blue eyes were expressive, untainted, and willing to see the wonders of life.  She had golden yellow hair that spilled out from the top of her head in smooth flowing waves of silk, and collected on her shoulders in little curls where the weight of it wasn’t heavy enough to pull it straighter.  Her exquisite face had no lines or angles, but instead enjoyed a smooth blend of shadows and light, gaining its definition from gentle contours as though an artist had painted her into existence.

       The rest of her was hidden beneath an oversized red sweater that draped itself loosely about her frame disguising any true definition of her figure.  Centered on her chest hung a roughly cut smoky quartz crystal attached to a thin white metallic chain.   With the knowledge of what Tara was, Sean could only imagine that the necklace she wore was likely enchanted in some manner, but that offered no explanation as to Dawn’s nature, unless she too was some sort of spell caster.  However, her unearthly beauty gave Sean a gut feeling that she was something more than just human.

       Despite everything else about Dawn, Sean found her eyes to remain her most dominating feature.  They were like deep blue pools promising warmth and peace to anyone willing to lose themselves in her gaze.  They also had the slightest hint of the corners being turned up with the underlining suggestion of a smile never being too far away.  Her eyes showed honesty and inspired him to trust her without knowing why. 

       There couldn’t be anything dark or sinister harbored within her blue orbs of tranquility.  Her presence was like a siren’s call beckoning him to bathe himself within her inner light.  He could sense the tender love and forgiveness that her spirit offered and his soul yearned to experience that peace which had eluded him all his life. 

       How could he possibly resist?  Her eyes could easily swallow him whole if he wished it.  In fact, they were.

       It took effort on Sean’s part to break his eye contact with her.  Even as he turned his head to look back at Tara, his eyes adjusted to stay focused on Dawn, unwilling to give up the paradise that he glimpsed through the windows to her soul.  Sean had been so thoroughly engrossed in Dawn that he had failed to realize Tara was talking.  He could see her lips moving, but all the sound in the room seemed distant like he was fifty feet away from any source.  Once Sean became aware of his altered state reality coursed back into his senses and he picked up Tara in mid sentence.

       “…late.  I wonder what’s keeping her?” Sean could only presume she was talking about Chris, but he didn’t comment just to be on the safe side.

       “You just gave me a great idea of what I should get her for Christmas…,” Dawn said as her face lit up with inspiration. “…A watch!”

       Tara chuckled softly at her friends comment. “That probably would make a good gift for her considering how she depends on her phone like a watch.  She usually forgets to charge the thing until after it’s gone completely dead.”

       When Dawn spoke again Sean noticed that her voice had the same enchanting quality as it did before, but its impact seemed to have lessened.  He still found something about it that was both beautiful and bewitching, and he wanted to hear more of what she had to say.  However, the reminder of its influence was enough for him to stay vigilant and mentally distance himself from the affects.

       It was hard for Sean to concentrate on what the two girls were talking about, because of Dawn’s contributing voice.  There was no way that he was going to be able to survive the evening with the drastic affect she was having over him.  Every following sentence she spoke was eroding away his will to resist the blissful offer hidden within the sound that flowed from her lips.  How it was affecting him and no one else was baffling, until he realized that he was listening with an acute sense of hearing. 

       Sean gathered his will and refocused his attention onto Tara while she spoke about one of her college courses she was evidently enrolled in.  As she rambled on, he let himself slip into a brief state of concentration to readjust his hearing back to a more human level.  Tara concluded her story and both girls laughed at whatever the funny joke was that Sean had missed.  He pretended to laugh with them as though he had gotten the joke too, but his real focus was on the sound of Dawn’s voice.

       It sounded normal.  There was no hint of the enchanting quality that had been slowly enveloping him.  Sean was able to add the relief he felt to his false laughter, making it more convincing, and he relaxed with a slight grin on his face.  With the affect of Dawn’s voice out of the way, he believed he could make it through the rest of the evening.

       A lull in the conversation gave Sean a chance to scan through the menu to decide on what he would order.  It took less than a minute for him to make up his mind.  When he saw the picture of the restaurant’s famous bacon swiss hamburger with mushrooms he knew right away what he was going to have. 

       While they waited the waiter made his rounds back to their table checking to see if they were ready to order yet.  Tara declined, saying that they were still expecting one more person to arrive, but they would order their drinks.  Tara and Dawn both wanted water with a lemon wedge, and Sean had his usual orange soda.  Within a moment the man returned promptly serving them their drinks, and promising that he would check up on them every few minutes, or they could simply wave him down.

       Tara’s demeanor shifted slightly and Sean studied her for signs.  Her eyes were tracking movement over his left shoulder.  He turned in his seat to see what had gotten her attention, and even though he was expecting it, he was still surprised to see Chris walking down the aisle between tables.

       When she was in the process of approaching Sean’s back was to her, and she must’ve been uncertain and curious as to whom the strange male figure was sitting next to Dawn.  Once he turned so she could see his face Chris’ last two steps toward the table were noticeably hesitant and Sean could easily tell that she was shocked to see him there.  His mind leapt to the conclusion that Tara had not told Chris he was going to be there, and the fact that he was made her feel awkward.

       Sean was regretting having agreed to Tara’s invitation.

       Chris was wearing her customary sneakers and jeans that were speckled with dark spots from the rain.  Little droplets of water clung to her black and white Nike wind breaker, and a dark grey cap had taken the brunt of the weather.  With one hand she held onto the single strap of a backpack that was slung of her left shoulder.

       “Hey!  Sorry I’m late,” Chris said looking at Dawn and Tara while not acknowledging Sean. “I was at the library trying to get my English paper finished, and I completely lost track of time.  I was extremely lucky that my professor gave me a chance to finish it over the weekend, but I have to hand it to him complete by eight o’clock Monday morning before he even enters his office.  He won’t accept any excuses if I’m a second later.”

       “Did you get it done,” Tara inquired with a forgiving smile.

       “No.  Not yet.  I would’ve called but my phone was dead.”

       “See!” Dawn exclaimed looking directly at Tara to emphasize what they had been discussing just before Chris’ arrival.

       “What?” Chris asked, not understanding what Dawn was pointing out.

       “We were just talking how you don’t charge the battery to your phone when it needs it,” Dawn said as she shifted her gaze from Tara to Chris, “and you just proved my point.”

       “I don’t let it happen that often,” Chris tried defending herself, but it lacked conviction, and Sean suspected that it was indeed a common occurrence.

       “Yes you do,” Tara insisted.

       Chris looked at Dawn with a hint of pleading, as if to ask her to say something on her behalf.  All the while she stood near the table’s edge with Sean practically at her side, affectively cutting him out of her direct field of vision.  It was obvious to Sean she had no desire to have him there, and she was going to do whatever she thought she could get away with to drive him away.

       “Yea you do,” Dawn mumbled.  She tilted her head slightly, using her hair to shield the smirk that curled one corner of her mouth.  Tara’s expression mirrored Dawn’s, but she didn’t try to hide it.

       “Listen you guys, I’d love to stay but I can’t.” Chris spoke hastily, and Sean could tell that her stress level had gone up a notch. “I’ve got to get back to the library and finish my English paper, or else I’m going to flunk my class.  I would’ve called to let you guys know to go ahead and eat without me, but…” Chris’ voice trailed off, unwilling to incriminate herself with the obvious condition of her phone.

       Before anyone else could say something, and redirect the conversation Chris desperately took control once more. “Also, Tara, do you think it’ll be cool if I stay with you guys for the weekend?  My heater is acting up again and it’s blowing out cool air instead of warming the place up.”

       Tara considered Chris’ request for a couple of seconds studying her face and observing her obvious agitation.  Sean judged Tara as an observant person and figured she had to be able to tell that Chris was acting out of sorts because he was there.

       “Sure,” she finally agreed. “Under one condition though…” She paused for affect, with Chris hinging on her response. “…you eat dinner with us instead of running off.  I’ll even help you finish your paper if you do.”

       Chris looked at Tara with an incredulous expression.  Sean felt it had to be apparent to everyone at the table that she did not want him around, and the charade only furthered his discomfort.  Tara slid over in her seat emphasizing her point for Chris to sit and stay with them.  She gestured with her eyes for Chris to sit down, but she continued to stand and to stare back at her insistent friend.

       “Tara, can I talk to you for a second?” Chris pointedly invited her by taking a step back from the table.

       Tara closed her eyes and gave her head shake.  She slid across the seat to go with Chris, so the two of them could have their words in private.  Sean kept his attention trained on them, without watching as they walked down the aisle the way in which they had all arrived.  Even without the sensitivity of his hearing turned up, he was still able to track their movement behind him.

       “I can’t eat with him here,” Sean heard the harsh whisper come from Chris.  Judging by the distance he figured they went no further than the entrance to the restaurant.

       “Why not?” came Tara’s tart response.  She didn’t bother whispering which was an additional indication that she was annoyed with her friend’s attitude.

       “He creeps me out.” Chris spoke louder than she did before using her voice to rise up against Tara’s subtle challenge.

       Their argument paused and Sean could visualize the two of them, or at least Tara, looking back in his direction, aware that he might still be able to hear them.  With the extended silence, Sean became more conscious of Dawn sitting next to him and that she too was listening in on her friends.  She had her head slightly tilted, so that her ear was at a better angle to catch the verbal exchange.  He became distracted when Dawn rose part way to look over the back of the seat.

       “Their heading off into the bathrooms,” She reported so that Sean could hear.  She brought up her left leg and tucked it under her before lowering herself back down onto the bench.  In her new position she had her back facing the window with an elbow resting on the table, and the ends of her shirt sleeves unrolled to the knuckles which showed her four fingers clutching the cuffs. 

       He was more sensitive to Dawn’s presence with the other two girls gone, and an uncomfortable knot was growing in his stomach.  He reached for his glass of soda and took a sip so that the cool liquid would help with the parched feeling in his throat.

       “What did you do to Chris to make her not like you?” Dawn’s question broke the awkward silence that filled the absence of her other two friends.

       “I saved her,” which was the truth as far as Sean was concerned.  Before the incident in the alley, Sean had never directly involved himself with Chris.  Any opinion she had of him was related to her own perception.  He was quiet again and didn’t offer any words to fill the void. 

       “Tara didn’t tell her you’d be here, or else she wouldn’t have come.  For some reason she felt it was important for Chris to thank you personally.” Dawn stared at her drink and stirred the ice with her straw while she talked to her mute company. “She doesn’t do it often, but I don’t like it when T acts all manipulative.  But, I do agree with her that Chris should show some gratitude for what you did.” She let her statement hang there in the air before she continued.  “Thank you for saving my friend.  At least you know somebody appreciates what you did.”

       Dawn’s compliment made Sean feel like he was on the spot again.  Even though it was more positive, it was still extra attention that he wasn’t used to.  He tried to act stoic, but he couldn’t lie to himself.  It did feel good to be accepted and appreciated once more.  He realized that he had been distancing himself and remaining separated from other people ever since...

       He took another sip of ice cold soda to distract himself from the unaccustomed thoughts.  Now was not the time or place for him to mull over such disturbing topics.

       “How long are they going to be gone for?” Sean asked without expecting Dawn to answer.

       “I’m sure they won’t be too long, but does it really matter?  It’s not like we’re going to get up and leave, right?” Sean didn’t respond to her question, and started to seriously consider whether or not he should take the opportunity to remove himself from this uncomfortable situation.

       “So… tell me something about yourself, John?” Sean did his best not to cringe when he heard his false name being spoken yet again.  He didn’t think he would ever get used to it.

       “What would you like to know?”

       “How about how old are you?” Dawn prompted.


       “Really?” she said, arching both eyebrows. “You look older.”

       “Yea?  How old do I look?”

       “I was going to guess at least twenty-five.”

       “Wow, guess that means I won’t age well.” Sean gave her a smile indicating that he was teasing. “My turn…”

       Sean took his time looking at her, wondering exactly what kind of person she was to have invoked such a powerful affect a moment ago without apparently trying.  Another point of interest was that he didn’t think that Tara had even been aware of the affect Dawn’s voice or eyes had on him.  Which left the question: did either one of them realize what she had done?

       He wished he could find out more about her, but he didn’t dare drop his mental shields as he did his previous encounter with Tara, especially not in a place where there was three times the amount of people.  He didn’t need his senses to be in overdrive to tell there was something subtly different about Dawn that set her apart from normal people, but Sean didn’t understand enough about her to guess what she was.

       He let his eyes settle on her face and gazed at her angelic beauty.  Her eyes easily became the center of his focus once again, but this time with his enhanced senses lowered they didn’t have the same overwhelming affect as they did before.  Although, Sean imagined he could still feel a slight pull, beckoning him to listen to the music of her soul.  It was a wondrous experience, but he was grateful not to be lost in it as he was before.

       “Twenty!” Sean finally guessed.  He was a little worried that she might’ve thought he was staring for too long.  Fortunately she didn’t give any signs of looking bothered. 

       “Close.  I’m nineteen, but I turn twenty on Christmas day.”

       “Your birthday is on Christmas?” Sean repeated, confirming what he had just heard.


       “That must be kind of cool.”

       “Usually not,” Dawn sighed. “My birthday mostly gets forgotten about in the hustle and bustle of the holiday.”

       “Oh!  When you consider that, I guess having your birthday on Christmas day isn’t that great.”

       “I don’t worry about it.  I like all the holiday decorations, and sometimes it’s nice to pretend they’re for me.”

       Sean imagined briefly what the holidays might be like for him this year.  Before he enveloped himself too deeply on a topic that threatened to be depressing, Dawn asked another question that diverted his thoughts. “Are you going to school at the university here?”

       “Yea,” Sean responded automatically. “It was kind of a last minute decision.  I didn’t know what I wanted to major in, but I knew I wanted to take some college courses, so I signed up for liberal arts.  How about you?”

       “Well, I’m not exactly sure yet but I know I want it to be something in art. I love drawing, painting, singing, pretty much anything to do with being an artist.  Mainly music though.  I love singing.”

       “That sounds like a pretty wide range.  I’m guessing you’re officially labeled as a liberal arts student too.” As Sean ended his sentence another irresistible yawn spread across his face and he covered his open mouth with the back of his hand.

       “Yea but I don’t like calling it that.  It makes it sound like I don’t really care what I get a degree in, but I do.  I feel like a lot of people don’t respect an education in art, but my folks always told me if that’s what I feel the most passionate about then I have to go for it, or else I’ll just be letting myself down in the end.”

       “Sounds like you’re lucky to have supportive parents.”

       “Believe me I know it, and I don’t take them for granted.  Without their help I wouldn’t be able to pay for college.”

       “So, how did you and Tara meet?” Sean blamed himself for not asking this question sooner, but in light of how distracting Dawn was up close and the attitude that Chris brought with her, it was no wonder why he was having trouble getting his mind organized.

       The question brought a sweet innocent smile to Dawns face while she recalled some distant memory. “She and I have known each other since before high school.  We met in middle school when we were fifth graders.  Ever since then we’ve been best friends.”

       Sean waited for more, not sure of what other details she might add to his question, but she seemed to be either too lost in thought or searching for a starting point to share with him the tale of how she met her best friend. 

       Just as the topic flow was promising to be informative, Chris and Tara returned.  Wordlessly they took their seats across from him with Chris sitting down first and Tara taking the aisle seat.  Sean figured that it was Chris’ preference to sit there so that she wouldn’t have to be directly across from Sean.  Her petty attitude was really starting to get on his nerves.

       A quick evaluation of the two returning girls told Sean that they were both irritated.   Tara did a far better job at disguising how she felt and maintaining her pleasant composure, while Chris seemed to radiate negativity and sarcasm.

       Not waiting for a chance to let sparks fire off a heated discussion, Sean immediately started to scan for their waiter, but the attentive fellow must’ve been paying attention too, because he was already just a few steps away and approaching their table.   He wasted no time in writing down their orders.  Tara requested shrimp scampi, and both Dawn and Chris were each going to have a large sample platter of all the different appetizers.  Sean ordered his burger and the waiter took their menus informing them that their food would be ready in just a moment.

       As soon as the waiter left Tara and Dawn stared straight at their guest with an expression he couldn’t read, while Chris looked elsewhere, determined to continue ignoring him.

       “He doesn’t know, does he?” Dawn asked to no one in particular.

       “Know what?” Sean asked, looking confused as to what he was missing.

       “One of our traditions when we eat out like this is,” Tara began to clarify, “is that we all sample one another’s food.  So, usually when we pick what we’re going to eat, we try to keep in mind that we’re going to be sharing it.”

       “A burger ought to be interesting,” Dawn commented with an amused look.

       “You can’t split a burger,” Chris complained. “Especially the one he’s getting.  It’s stacked too high with all this stuff on it.”

       “Don’t worry about it John,” Tara reassured, “you didn’t know.  Besides, it’s our tradition.  You don’t have to do it.”

       Sean thought about for a second, and then said, “Sounds strange, but I don’t mind trying it.  Just let pick something different.” He looked around to see if he could catch their waiter before it was too late to correct his order.

       To his surprise Chris stared at him for the first time that evening and actually proceeded to acknowledge him. “You’ve already ordered.  It’s too late for you to get something else.”

       “No it’s not,” he said defiantly, and to prove his point he started to get up from his seat with determination.

       “No, John,” Tara interrupted. “Seriously, it’s not worth it.” Sean hesitated, and looked directly at her.  Within her expression he recognized that he was acting almost as immature as Chris was, so he did his best to shrug off the attitude he was developing, and sat back down.  He decided If Chris wanted to behave that way then so be it, but knew better, and he didn’t want to disrespect the hospitality that Tara was offering.

       “Yea don’t change your order,” Dawn said to help smooth things over. “It’ll be kind of fun trying to split your bacon swiss burger.” She grinned mischievously while looking down at the table imagining the potential mess it was going to make. 

       “I’m not having anything to do with it,” Chris said, continuing to be stubborn.

       “Aww, come on Chris,” Dawn pleaded. “Try something different.  Isn’t that the reason why we do this.”

       “You can if you want too, but I’m not.”

       “What about you T, are you in?”

       Tara shrugged her shoulders, “As long as Sean wants to try it, sure.”

       Sean forced himself to relax and to not let Chris bother him any longer.  The thought of trying to share the burger started to look interesting and funny to him, and he allowed the idea to settled with him. “Sure, why not?  Like she said, It’ll be fun trying to split the thing I ordered.”

       Dawn stared at Chris looking to see if her opinion might be swayed. 

       “I’m not doing it,” She said staring back at her friend, remaining resolute in her decision.

       Tara looked dissatisfied with Chris’ behavior. “Okay if that’s how you want to be, but you know the rules: if you don’t contribute you don’t get to share.”

       “Oh come on Chris,” Dawn begged, “we’ve been doing this for three months now.  Don’t break or tradition.”

       “I don’t mind sharing my food.  I just don’t want any of his.”

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-01-25 04:18:44)



#110 2010-01-19 23:58:23

Registered: 2009-12-01
Posts: 127

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

On the girls:  I'd say Tara is the most complete character at this point as youve gone over what she is and given her some direct interaction w/Sean.

As for Chris, a lot of time has been devoted to her story but not so much to her personality so while we have a lot of info on her there is still a lot left uncovered. 

With Dawn the physical description of her was great so we can really picture.   Her demeanor seems fairly easy going and simple but we still have yet to figure out the mystery of what she is.

I liked this chapter but Im anxious to see what Tara can do for Sean as it is the the begining of the weekend and Sean is scheduled go out and do 'his thing' 

One thing that confuses me a bit is how the girls keep switching between Sean and John.....



#111 2010-01-20 00:56:50

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

Excellent observations mrRW!  I think when I go through my editing phase I'll have to reconsider how I introduce Chris in chapter five.  I believe in regards to her personality I was trying to show it more than tell it, but perhaps it needs a bit more work.  If you notice this chapter and the prior two focus on each of the girls.  Chapter five advances the story through Chris' point of view, chapter six involves Tara confronting Sean, and in this chapter Sean gets an up close introduction of Dawn.  From here on out the four of them are going to be interacting as a group, which makes them important characters.  The truth about Dawn won't be revealed until chapter nine and at this point the only character that knows what Dawn is is Tara.  Not even Dawn knows the hidden truth about herself.  That's a bit of background info that the reader doesn't have at this point, but l give to you as a little reward for taking the time to read my story.

In the next chapter I do have a scene planned for showing how Tara begins aiding Sean with mastering his werewolf nature, but first she has to form some sort of base line to know where Sean is at and to make a better evaluation of the problems Sean is dealing with.  I'm still deciding how much progress he will make within the first book.  I need to work through a couple of scenes that involve him in his werewolf from and to what degree of control is necessary for him to have in order to make what I have planned play out right.  Along the topic of Sean wolfing out, here's another spoiler: with Chris' help you're going to get to see in detail through Sean's memories as a werewolf what exactly happened in the alley way where Chris was attacked.  That scene will be in chapter nine.

In chapter five I had explained that Gregor had informed Sean that he was going to have to lay low, because he feared the Veil discovering him.  To help Sean stay unnoticed Gregor hooked him up with a false identity, so now the official world knows him as Jonathan Amaric, and when ever he hears this name it feels very unnatural to him.  Something I just realized is I may have been misspelling his abbreviated name.  Should I be writing it as Jon, instead of John?

I must say I truly appreciate you taking the time to respond to my questions and concerns with how I'm developing my tale thus far.  It's only through input such as what you gave that I'm going to improve my story.  I hope I eventually attract more readers of your caliber mrRW.  Thanks again smile

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-01-20 01:07:58)



#112 2010-01-20 01:28:14

From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

I am not usually a vampire person but your story has grabbed my interest and may change that! sweet work. Does gregor have an accent? almost like a gentle british accent and a deep voice? is that how you hear him speak...almost like silk, yet dangerous and it has the hint that he knows something you dont...he is a very interesting character.




#113 2010-01-20 03:11:28

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

OOooo... another reader! big_smile I'm very happy to share my story with you ShadowWolf and and even more so to hear that you like it.  I'm guessing based on your post that you're still in the process of reading the beginning, which is just fine.  If that is indeed the case I'd like to encourage you to feel free to post whatever comments or questions you may have regardless of where you're at in the story.  I'm always looking for feedback and I more than appreciate listening/reading other people's opinion of what I have written so far.

It's funny you should mention how you're normally not a vampire person, because neither am I.  However, when I play D&D, and I'm role playing a vampire as an NPC (non playing character) my wife always says how my vampire characters seem so much more interesting than my werewolf NPC's.  I still personally prefer the werewolf type over vampires, but I have also learned that vampires can be pretty intriguing as well.  I find it encouraging seeing how Gregor has captured your attention.  I guess I'm doing a fairly good job with how I'm presenting him thus far.

I do very much like the questions you present with Gregor's character and I shall definitely take those points into consideration when I redo my first two chapters.  I don't mind adding some of those details here right now if you'll indulge me.  I have a lot of background info written down that will probably never make it into the story, but I can share it in posts like these if anyone has interest enough to ask.

Gregor is of European decent and originally from Romania.  He was turned in a not so pleasant manner and treated poorly while he, and several others were forced to serve an older vampire.  Eventually Gregor was able to escape his master in such a violent fashion which left him to believe he had killed him.  Afterward he spent many years disciplining himself and coming to terms with how to control his abilities and bloodlust.  He traveled to many places within the modern world at that time (which doesn't include the American continent), and eventually settled in Great Britain making that country his home for several years.  When America was officially discovered (Haha what an odd thing to say, like it was never there until Columbus noticed it) he boldly moved there and throughout the past two centuries made it his new home.  He has never been one to fit the typical mold of a vampire which in my world are mostly reclusive and prefer to keep themselves hidden from the world at large.  Gregor has done many things that have influenced the course of humanity, some of which has gotten himself into severe trouble with the Arcanus (a large majority of spellcasters that basically govern the supernatural things of the world).

I digress slightly.  To get back on topic: Gregors voice and the mannerism in which he speaks.

His accent is dominated by a British one, but there are odd undertones that reflect the many other languages that he knows, so it makes defining his exotic accent difficult.  When strangers hear him speak for the first time they usually find it odd, but are also intrigued by the mystery he seems to be.  The way you envision his voice to sound is very accurate to how I see him speaking as well.  A deep, silky voice that flows smoothly with confidence and entices others to listen, because they're captivated.  And within his eyes there's customarily a hint of him knowing something important that his audience doesn't.  One could say that he is a polite and sophisticated speaker with a gently veiled presence of power.

Gregor is a dominant character within the first two chapters, and he plays an important role as Sean's mentor.  You'll get to see him again briefly in the middle of this story and then again within the the last three or four chapters.  I could say you'll see him in the second book as well, but that of course would be assuming he survives the first one. 

Does this mean he dies?  I won't say, because I like my characters to have a sense of mortality, and if they're immortal, it makes it all that much more interesting to break them of that illusion.  It doesn't necessarily mean they have to die, but just come to an understanding that they can.

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-01-20 03:16:02)



#114 2010-01-20 05:19:23

From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 161

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

*bow down, bow down* this is great, keep it coming.

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist



#115 2010-01-21 23:15:24

Literary Lycanthrope
From: My Desk. Duh.
Registered: 2007-09-04
Posts: 2006

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

Strider, you're next on my list - but I have to use borrowed time and a very very small screen. It'll take me a bit to catch up. Bear with me, okay?

To thy known wolf be true...

"Yay! We're Doomed!"  -- Gir



#116 2010-01-22 00:46:35

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

Grayle!!  I'm so happy to finally see your return big_smile  I am once again honored to have you read through my story.  I know I have posted a lot since the last time you've read it, and if you're able to read the posts in between those of my story, you'll see a bunch of questions that I have, and as of right now many remain unanswered.  I know that you have been very busy as of late, and I fully understand that it will take you a fair amount of time to read through what I have so far, and doubly so if you're able to answer the numerous questions too.  Take your time, and hopefully you'll also be able to enjoy it.

You're one of the very few people that I have disclosed to how the first book progresses and how it ends.  Since the last time I wrote to you about my outline I feel as though there are a great deal more things that I have developed, and as long as you don't mind me spoiling the grand plot, I don't mind going over it with you too.

It's always great to hear from you smile and welcome back.



#117 2010-01-22 07:30:46

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

I was sort of bad and I stayed up all night to work some more on chapter seven.  I'm sure those of you that are reading it will appreciate it smile  I realize that this whole scene might feel like it's dragging on too long with dialogue, but one of the things I'm trying to accomplish is developing a working relationship with these four characters.  They're going to play a very important role in how my main character develops, and their fate becomes entwined.  I basically wanted to use this chapter showing them all interacting and creating a basis for a friendship, as well as including some information that will lay the ground works for other parts of this story.  As always I'm forever interested in hearing what you all think, so please don't be concerned with sparing my feelings in letting me know what you think.

If you don't see it yet, let me inform you that I'm going to use the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays as a way to bring them all closer together.  During the Thanksgiving holiday your going to get to witness some major development between these four important characters, and within the next two chapters their secrets will be revealed to each other.  Ahhh, but let me not give too much away.  You're going to have be somewhat patient with me as I unfold this story chapter by chapter.


        Sean was shocked with the blatant disrespect she was showing him, and he couldn’t fully understand why she was behaving in such a manner.  Even her friends did little to sway her into acting more politely, as if there was something else going on that made them feel sympathetic to her.  He imagined that Tara’s private talk with Chris had been something about convincing her to stay for dinner, and possibly for her to thank him, like Dawn had hinted at.  But, with the attitude that Chris was displaying Sean had his doubts that any such display of gratitude from her would be sincere.

        He stared out onto the dining room floor imitating Chris in the way she was avoiding looking at him.  He tried to imagine what the repercussions would be, if any, should he choose to simply get up and walk on out of the restaurant.  However, a sense of misguided responsibility kept him in his seat, and his honor acted like an invisible cage directing him to see this evening to its end. 

        In addition, he supposed insulting a Wizard that happened to be living in the same neighborhood as he would be a stupid move on his part.  Until he knew more about Tara, and what she was about, he had no wish to give her a reason to dislike him. He was hungry and very tired, and he was doing his best to refrain from acting impolite. 

        Tara and Dawn talked mostly, managing to fill in the gap of time which they waited for their food to arrive.  Sean and Chris’ contribution to the conversation was minimal, and he considered nothing that was discussed to be of any real importance.  Several times he resisted his urge to yawn, but a couple of them still managed to get through and he politely covered his mouth with a whispered apology.

        At one point while they were waiting, Sean was scanning the floor somewhat absentmindedly when out of the peripheral of his vision he caught Tara making strange faces at Chris.  He turned quickly trying to catch what was going on, but Tara’s head whipped around to face him feigning a smile of innocence.  In response to it all, Chris’ shoulders slumped as she gave an exaggerated sigh.  She lifted her head so it was facing him, but her eyes were rolled up, looking toward the ceiling.

        “Thank you Sean, for saving me.” Her last two words were barely audible, and sure enough, it sounded nothing like a sincere thank you, but at least she managed to say it.  Sean showed his appreciation with a quiet nod toward her, and it felt like some of the ugly ambience lifted from the table.

        Chris was spared from her obligation being prolonged by the timely arrival of their diner.  Their waiter accurately distributed the plates in front of each of them, and offered to refill their drinks.  He wasted no time in returning to top off everyone’s glasses, and left them to their privacy once more.

        “So, how do you want to split this thing?” Sean asked as he looked at his hamburger that sat more than four inches tall with melted white cheese and mushrooms spilling out its sides.  In addition there was also lettuce and tomatoes that added to its impressive bulk, making the prospect of sharing the thing unseemly.

        “I say just use your knife and cut it,” Dawn offered.

        “You know what,” Tara said, “why don’t you cut it in half, and Dawn and I will split one of them.”

        Sean agreed, picked up his knife, and proceeded to do his best at dividing the oversized stacked burger.  He expected it to become an absolute mess, but was impressed that he was able to do a fairly good job at keeping it all intact.  Since the first cut had worked pretty well Sean lifted the knife again and went ahead with cutting it into quarters.  It didn’t go quite as smoothly as the first slice, but never the less each part still had the semblance of looking like a hamburger.

        “I told you I didn’t want any,” Chris reiterated as Sean completed his second cut.

        “You don’t need to worry about,” Sean reassured her. “I’m going to bring that fourth piece home as a treat for my cat.” He smiled at the idea of it, enjoying the fact that Chris was actually starting to recognize that he was present at the table, and wondering how much Serenity would appreciate what he was going to be bringing home to her.

        “Isn’t that just precious,” Chris mumbled, not bothering to disguise her pessimism.

        Abruptly, a sharp giggle escaped from Dawn, and she kept her head down, staring at her large platter of assorted appetizers.  Sean glanced at her, and saw across the table Tara was biting her lip trying hard to keep from smiling, and adding to Dawn’s outburst.  Sean didn’t bother hiding the grin that spread across his face and he released a chuckle that seemed to have taken root in response from both girls trying to repress their laughter.  Dawn didn’t bother to hold back her outburst anymore, and in turn Tara stopped fighting the same feeling.  Together their humor fed Sean, and he too let himself laugh a bit harder.

        “What?!” Chris said raising her voice to be heard over the others. “What’s so funny?”

        Dawn managed to suppress her bubbly laughter enough to tell her, “You are!” and she said so, shamelessly.

        “Seriously, Chris,” Tara spoke with the remnant of her own amusement still being reflected on her face, “You’re trying too hard.  Despite whatever crazy ideas you have of John, he’s not a bad person.  If you’d just give him a chance you might see that too.”

        Chris’ sighed and the tension that gripped her face left as she exhaled. “I don’t know.  Maybe you’re right,” she said with her voice dropping down low in guilt. “I’m sorry for my attitude,” she apologized to no one specifically, and this time there wasn’t a bitter bite to her words.

        “Don’t worry about it.  Just get over it,” Tara said as everyone else started to sober up.

        Sean lifted his plate up and moved it closer to Tara’s and Dawn’s in turn, offering them each a part of his hamburger.  Tara instructed him to hold his plate close to hers and she scooped some of her shrimp scampi onto his.  Witnessing the whole act of all of them sharing what they each had gave Sean a warm feeling of acceptance, and he found himself beginning to enjoy the company he was with.

        In the midst of eating another yawn crept up on him, and despite his effort to stifle it he had to bring his hand up to cover his mouth.

        “Have you been burning the midnight oil?”  Tara questioned him.

        “Yea.  Sorry.  I can’t help it.  I had trouble sleeping last night.”


        “It’s nothing really.  I just had a nightmare, and I couldn’t go back to sleep.” Sean watched Tara’s face as he spoke, looking for that tell tale sign that she suspected more than what he was telling, and sure enough he saw her right eyebrow twitch upwards.  He was also willing to hazard a guess that she had secreted on her person somewhere that miniature sword charm she had demonstrated to him the other night.

        “What was it about?”  Dawn innocently asked.  Sean didn’t answer her right away as he chewed a mouthful of pasta. “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to pry,” She added, feeling as though she were being a little too invasive.

        “It was about school,” Sean lied, just so he could mend the awkward moment. “You know, finals approaching and the stress of studying for that one major test that either makes or breaks your final grade.” He risked another glance at Tara, looking for any other physical signs of her knowing the untruth within his words, but the only thing that gave her away was the single eyebrow that raised even higher.

        “When I wake up from a nightmare,” Sean continued, “it disrupts my whole sleeping schedule, and I have trouble getting back to sleep.  Trust me after we’re done here, I’m looking forward to going home and going straight to bed.”

        “Speaking about going home…,” Dawn directed herself at Chris, “you’re coming with us again, right?”

        “Where?” she responded back.

        “Thanks giving.  It’s next week,” Dawn clarified. “We haven’t talked about it yet, but I don’t want anything left up until the last minute, so I’m just making it clear that you’re not staying here.”

        Tara tittered softly. “Yep, doesn’t look like you get a choice in this one.  I think Dawn has made up her mind that you’re coming with us even if we have to kidnap you.”

        Chris nearly laughed in response. “Trust me you don’t have to go to that extreme.  There’s no way I’m going to spend the holidays in my house.  I’d be so depressed.”

        “And cold,” Sean added.

        “Ehhh,” Chris moaned, none too happily. “Don’t remind me.”

        “What about you Sean?  What do you do for the Holidays?” Tara asked as she attempted to take a bite of her piece of the hamburger.  It fell apart as her teeth sank into it, and she half laughed at herself with the mess she made. “Let’s not get one of these again.” Everyone else added a snicker or a giggle to Tara’s comment.

        Sean picked the conversation back up where Tara’s question left off. “Normally I’d be back home with my uncle.  This is the first year I won’t see him.” He stalled, reflecting on what he had just said. “Huh, feels kind of strange now that I’m thinking about it.”

        “You’re not going home for Thanks giving?” came Dawn’s question as she turned to face him.

        “No.  But it won’t be so bad.  He’s been like a father to me and I care about him a lot, but we’re always fighting.  We’re like polar opposites in some ways.  It might be kind of nice to enjoy one holiday season without him.”

        “Wait,” Dawn exclaimed. “So you’re going to be staying here by yourself?”

        “Yea.  It’s no big deal.”

        Tara stared at Dawn anticipating what she was going to say next. “Dawn, don’t.”

        “Tara,” she pleaded, “he’s going to be here alone for the holiday.  It would be heartless not to invite him.”

        Chris suddenly started choking and everyone stared at her out of concern.  She waved at them with one hand, indicating that she was all right, while reaching for her water. “I’m okay. I just swallowed wrong,” she said as she tried to calm her coughing fit by taking small sips of her water.  Sean was starting to think that it was a nice change that Chris was seemingly warming up to him, but evidently not enough to feel comfortable with him joining them for any lengthy period of time.  Even he had to admit that it was a shocking offer considering how they had just recently met.

        “You can’t just go inviting everyone and anyone you want,” Tara tried to reason with Dawn.

        “I’m not.  Just him.”

        “But Dawn…”

        “It’s okay,” Sean intervened. “I appreciate the offer.  I’d like to say yes, and that I would be delighted to go with you, but I can’t.  I’ve got work.  Besides I don’t have anyone to take care of my cat.”

        “You don’t have anybody else that could take care of her?” Dawn’s expressive eyes clearly showed how sorry she felt that he would be spending the holiday with no one else to share it with.

        “No. I live by myself.”

        He could easily tell that Dawn genuinely felt bad for him, and although he suspected she was trying to hide how she felt, her face was to honest and betrayed her inner emotions.  Sean looked across the table and he could see how the other two girls tried to ignore it, but Tara could not remain oblivious to the affect Dawn was having on her.  He could see the evidence of her will crumble as she shook her head in disbelief.

        Finally Tara spoke up, admitting her inability to resist the influence her friend had on her. “You could bring your cat along if you really wanted to.”

        Chris glanced to her side at Tara, unable to believe that she was supporting Dawn’s spontaneous gesture of kindness.  Sean hated being in the middle like this, clearly sensing Chris’ unease about the whole possibility of him being with them for the holidays.  He knew if he was going to salvage the evening, he was going to have to say something.

        “You guys are too kind,” he began, “but I still have work so I can’t just get up and go.  Besides I might be having some kind of get together with some friends.” The last part was another out-right lie, and he checked Tara again to see if she’d acknowledge what he had just said.  To his surprise she kicked him right in the shin.

        He froze, staring in her direction, but failing to really seeing anything as he concentrated on not reacting to the pain that spiked through his leg.  He swallowed hard to avoid making any sound and took a couple of gulps from his drink to take his mind off the pain.  He decided that from here on out it would behoove him to be completely honest whenever Tara was present.

        Dawn conceded to the answer he gave, but Sean still felt suspicious that it didn’t sit quite well with her, and she did her best to avoid looking directly at him for the remainder of their meal.  It wasn’t long after that the waiter came back to their table asking if they were interested in staying for dessert.  They declined unanimously, and then the kind gentleman asked if they wanted separate receipts or not.

        Tara quickly responded, “All together please.”

        “You don’t have to do that,” Sean objected. “I’ll pay my share.”

        “No, you won’t,” Tara announced with enough conviction in her voice to make Sean reconsider.  The waiter stood still watching to see if the decision had been made final. 

        “First off you’re our guest,” Tara continued, expanding upon her explanation. “Secondly this is supposed to be a token of appreciation for what you did for Chris.  I would consider it an insult if you didn’t accept it.” She looked up at the waiter and he could tell by the look in her eyes that she would not lose this argument.  The fellow stepped back taking the silence to indicate that Tara was going to get her way, and he walked off to print out the bill.

        Sean was beginning to understand what dawn had meant with her earlier comment about how manipulative Tara could be.  Sean considered himself to have a strong sense of honor, and she used that aspect to convince him that he would be insulting her if he tried to pay.  There was no denying how clever she was, and Sean made a mental note to himself that he would have to watch out for that little fact. 

        “Man, you can be pretty persuasive,’ Sean boldly stated.

        Tara smiled at him slyly. “Yes, I can.”

        “You won’t mind if I get the tip then.” Sean tried to make it sound more like a statement hoping she would feel like she didn’t have a choice. 

        Tara was already sifting through her purse before Sean could finish his last sentence. “Yes I would mind,” she said with simple finality.

        Sean dramatically threw his hands part way up in the air with a show of surrendering. “I give up,” he declared.

        The waiter returned for the last time and Tara gave the gentleman a fifty, telling him he could keep the rest as his tip.  He happily thanked them, and they began filing out of their seats to leave the restaurant.

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-01-25 04:30:09)



#118 2010-01-22 12:24:43

Registered: 2009-12-01
Posts: 127

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

I think this piece flows very well w/the part before it.  It definitely accomplishes your goal of having the characters interact more and sort of establish their friendship.  I might say it lacks a bit of the supernatural but that would be my only real complaint.



#119 2010-01-22 14:01:17

From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 161

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

nice this is a nice segment. i hope you can post more soon.
P.S. be glad you are not in norway right now. *slips on icy side walk*

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist



#120 2010-01-24 22:29:08

From: my own little world...
Registered: 2009-09-25
Posts: 394

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

Just finished reading the story so far and  it seems a pretty interesting composition. Please keep it up!



#121 2010-01-25 06:07:48

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

Thank you mrRW, Lonewolf, stoic (I hope you don't mind the shortened version of your name) for reading my story and enjoying it so far.  I've said it a lot and I'm sure I'll say it many times more... without your words to encourage me I would never have gotten as far as I have.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

mrRW:  True this segment doesn't have much in the way of the supernatural, and as funny as it may sound, I share your feeling of regret.  However, when viewed as a whole chapter you still get a sense of the extraordinary, especially when Sean observes Dawn for the first time with his enhanced senses.  There are also a few comments thrown in there about his caution of silver, and the fact that Tara is a Wizard, but other than that the supernatural is kind of sparse.  As much as I love writing about the unusual, I'm also trying to keep in mind character development and to bring a certain quality of depth to who they are.  Ideally I would love it if my readers laughed when something comical happened or felt their heart wrench when my characters experience a great personal loss.  That, to me, is a pivotal defining moment to a writer that lets them know that they can write.  That's what I strive for, and hope to one day achieve.  Even if I don't find someone willing to publish my story, knowing that I was able to stir even one person emotions to that degree would make me feel like a success.

Lonewolf:  As always, I truly appreciate your dedication as a faithful reader, and I must admit it always tickles my heart to read you trademark comment, "more please." Speaking of icy sidewalks, I miss the snow.  Living here in Florida I haven't gotten to see snow in about eleven years now.  I grew up in New York, on Long Island and I certainly miss being able to enjoy all four seasons.  Now I only get to see two, spring and summer, LOL!  Oh well.

stoic:  Nothing pleases me more than to see that I have attracted the attention of another reader.  I can't convey to you in words how great that makes me feel, and I hope I'm able to keep your interest all the way through.  If I could get some feedback from you, since you're new, that would be awesome.  So, let me ask you a question (and anyone can feel free to offer their opinion as well):  What do  you think of chapter four?  Mainly what are your feelings about the romance I had between Sean and Rose?  Also, if you would, tell me what  you think and feel about how I had Sean awaken to find her dead, and the manner in which it happened?

To date, out of my completed chapters, it's my favorite one so far.  I'm not sure exactly what that says about me, but I hope that I was able to stir at least a little emotion within that chapter.  What do my readers think?

Just to keep my fans updated, I am still working on completing the last segment to chapter seven.  I actually took a brief break from converting the outline of it to a story format, because I felt I needed to get cracking on more research and defining some fine details about future characters and events that are to unfold.  There are things that I write now, and little details that you have already read that allude to some of the future events I have planned.  Although I'm sure it will happen no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I'm doing my best not to wind up causing a contradiction, but if I do, I hope that you guys are able to catch it and to let me know.

All right, enough typing here.  Let me see how much I can get done before a lay myself down to sleep for a couple of hours before I have to start my Monday.  Bleh, Mondays!

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-01-25 06:19:58)



#122 2010-01-31 05:25:04

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

It's been a while, I know, but the time I have to devote to advancing my story has been drastically reduced.  Never the less I'm still determined to continue writing until I reach the last dot of the last sentence of the last chapter big_smile  This post concludes chapter seven.  I might add due to the constant breaks I've been forced to endure between completing pages, I fear my writing quality may have declined a bit, but I'll keep doing my best to put out the best story I can.

Well here's the rest of this chapter.

Read, Enjoy, Comment smile


        Darkness had fallen across the city making the sky look like a sheet of pitch black.  The light pollution from the street lamps, passing cars and advertising signs of other stores made it easier to see the specks of rain that continued to soak into the city, creating puddles and little rivers that ran the length of the streets until they ended in a rain gutter.  Sean didn’t look forward to his return trip home in such unpleasant weather as the night portrayed.  He stifled yet another yawn, and was reminded of the blissful, dreamless sleep he was going to be able to enjoy as soon as he got back to his apartment.  That minor fact gave him a small amount of assurance.

        “John, how are you getting home?” Tara asked him as she watched him observe the mist filled air.

        “The same way I got here.”

        “Let me give you a lift,” she suggested.

        Sean made it a point to look at Chris who had deliberately turned her head so that neither one of them had a good view of her face.  He was sure she was trying to hide an expression that would clearly tell him she didn’t approve of Tara’s offer.  Even though Tara’s eyes stayed on him, he knew she had to be aware of Chris’ reaction and to recognize that her idea didn’t bode well with her. 

        He was surprised that Chris had been able to warm up to his presence toward the end of the evening, but he didn’t feel like it was important to push the subject any more than it already had been.  He looked back at Tara who waited for his response, and for a couple of seconds he tried to comprehend what her purpose was for continually forcing the issue of him being around Chris.  If his mind wasn’t so sleep deprived then perhaps he would’ve been able to come up with possibilities for Tara’s unexplained actions, but at the moment he lacked the clarity of thought to wrestle with such subjects. 

        “That’s kind of you, but I don’t mind the walk.” He did his best to respond diplomatically, and hoped that Tara would except his answer, and not chance the rest of the evening to the confined space of a car, no matter how short the ride was.

        “In this weather?” Tara said with exaggeration. “You’d only be proving yourself a fool if you didn’t accept my offer.”

        Sean shook his head, finding it hard to believe how Tara was so easily able to manipulate his sensibilities into feeling compelled to accept her offer.  Despite the reasons why he thought he should graciously turn it down, his irrational honor dictated he couldn’t allow her to see him as a fool.   Somehow there seemed to be a contradiction hidden within that line of thought, but he wasn’t thinking clearly enough to pursue it, and he cursed himself for feeling like he was getting suckered into accepting the car ride. 

        “How about a compromise,” he spontaneously suggested hoping to control the situation to some degree. “You can drop me off at the train station.”

        “If that’s how you want it,” Tara replied.  She tried to keep a straight face, but Sean thought he detected some aspect of amusement that she tried to keep from making an outward appearance.  There was no denying that the Wizard he was dealing with was complicated, and who knew for sure how many secret agendas she had on her plate.  At the moment Sean wasn’t too concerned with what sort of elusive game she was playing at.  All he was truly interested in was getting home so he could slip into a coma, and to not have any concerns of when he woke up.

        Sean could clearly sense Chris’ disappointment that he would be remaining with them for a few more minutes, and he found himself wishing he knew why she abhorred him so much.  Perhaps at some point in the future he could try and get some insight through Tara, assuming she had some idea, which she probably did.  She was supposed to be a Wizard, and based on everything he was taught and had observed; a typical Wizard usually enjoyed an extended lifespan and they had a reputation for meddling in the lives of all the people they ever met.  Of course the meddling part was just a stereotype, but Sean didn’t disregard that such things had a basis of truth.

        They walked around the side of the dirty white stucco building to the small parking lot belonging to the restaurant.  The area was crammed tight with cars without a single parking spot available.  As they walked to Tara’s Cadillac a black Corvette with tinted windows, and the bass of some kind of rap music playing annoyingly loud, stalked them.  Sean kept a suspicious eye on the vehicle, wary of any potential danger, even though it was likely waiting so it could take their spot as soon as they left,

        Chris made sure she walked ahead in order to claim the front passenger seat, so she wouldn’t get stuck sitting in the back next to Sean, which was fine by him.  He felt like they had made some minor progress inside the restaurant, but it seemed like the close proximity was forcing her to act standoffish once again.  Tara unlocked the car with her keys, and Sean promised himself as they all took their seats that he would keep himself as quiet as he could so he didn’t say or do anything that would cause Chris to further dislike him.

        Sure enough, as soon as she pulled out the Corvette stole the spot they had occupied, and some stylish, spoiled teenager got out along with his preppy girlfriend.  Sean was relieved that he was able to easily dismiss his paranoid suspicions, but unfortunately he caught Tara staring at him through the driver’s rear view mirror.  He suddenly wondered how apparent he was while he had kept a wary eye on the potential danger. 

        He decided he was too tired to care what she thought.  Tara would make her own observation and opinions of him regardless of what he did or didn’t do.  All in all he figured that the evening didn’t turn out too bad and he felt like the possibility existed that he might see them again.  It wasn’t as though he had run into an abundant of other supernatural beings during his time spent here in Louisville, and seeing these three suspicious girls together made him wonder how natural it might be for other extraordinary individuals to gravitate toward one another.

        “Hey!  Wake up!”

        Sean felt disorientated, and his head seemed to be filled with cotton.  He heard Dawn’s voice followed by girlish laughter, which was also accompanied by a teasing giggle from Chris’ direction.  His face was pressed up against the door and the realization that he had nodded off became apparent to him.  Embarrassment immediately flushed his face and an automatic apology escaped him as he forced himself to readjust to the waking world.

        “You must be a heavy sleeper,” Chris said, cutting her snicker off short.

        “Are you going to make it up to your place alright on your own?” Tara asked him with a mix of concern and mirth.

        Sean looked out the car window and understood the extra meaning behind Tara’s words.  The familiar sight of his apartment building loomed in front of him, and he figured he must’ve been so solidly asleep that she took the liberty of driving him all the way back to his place. 

        “Yea, I’ll be fine.” He spoke more clearly with the humiliation of what he had done increasing the blood flow to his head hastening his ability to comprehend his surroundings.  He pulled the handle to the car door and pushed it open to let himself out. “Thanks again for tonight’s dinner.  It was…”

        He paused in mid sentence for a split second reflecting briefly on how the evening had gone for him. “… it was good,” he finished, feeling strangely positive about the entire experience.

        He slid out of the car, but before he could close the door he heard Dawn shout, “Wait!” He turned around to see what she wanted, and in her hands she was offering a styrofoam container that he had almost forgotten.

        “Don’t forget your cat’s snack,” Dawn told him as he gratefully took the box from her and offered his thanks again.

        He closed the door and stepped back from the vehicle with a farewell gesture.  Tara cracked her window halfway open, unable to resist having the last word and told him to get some rest, as she was pulling away.  Sean stared after the white car until it reached the end of the block and made a right turn, disappearing from view.   

        He turned and headed into his building with his mind still looking back on how the evening turned out.  He had hoped that he might discover some answers as to what Tara and her friends were about, or at the very least determine that they weren’t a threat to him.  Without learning anything definitive, he had a strong feeling that they harbored no ill will toward him, but a hunch was only hunch and not something to be relied on unless you were making a quick decision and had nothing else to go by.   

        Dawn was a complete mystery to him.  He had absolutely no idea what she was, and the way she behaved in such a simple, innocent manner, he had to wonder if she even realized the influence she initially had over him.  She exuded a positive aura of tranquility which he had a difficult time managing the affects while his enhanced senses were activated.  Sean wasn’t aware of many creatures that could do something like that.  Sirens were one type that came to mind, but they were sea creatures that required salt water to live, and there certainly wasn’t anything sea-like in Dawn’s appearance.   He knew that she was something special, and he strongly suspected that Tara knew the truth of the matter.

        In fact when, he considered the overall picture, Tara knew what they all were, and seemed to be the linchpin that held them all together.  Again the why of it gnawed at him, but he didn’t know enough yet of the Wizard to determine if her intentions were something that agreed with him or not.

        Another odd point was her request not to bring up the topic of the supernatural in front of Chris and Dawn.  He knew that she considered them to be her friends and judging by what he had accidentally witnessed of Tara’s core self, she was loyal and devoted to those she cared about.  He didn’t think she would ever do anything to jeopardize her friendship with the other two girls, so perhaps she felt they weren’t yet ready to know about the hidden world that they were unknowingly a part of.  Whatever her true purpose was, he had a strong feeling that she was keeping them in the dark for a good reason, and he had seen little to contradict Tara being a decent, humane individual.

        These questions and thoughts continued to plague him even after he had reached the door to his apartment and secured the locks behind him.  True to herself, Serenity met him at the door and he rewarded her with the little treat he had brought back with him by placing it into her food bowl.  Just to make sure she had enough to eat he added a little bit of her dry food to her dinner, and then retreated to the bathroom.

        Sean stripped himself of the clothes that had been made damp by the rain during his initial trek to the restaurant, but were mostly dry now.  He discarded them into the hamper to be dealt with later and took a fast shower to clean himself off from the city rain.  He was only in it for a couple of minutes, not even enough to steam up the mirror, then he stepped out and leaned over the sink to study his reflection.  His hazel predatory like eyes had the early beginnings of crow’s feet developing at the outside corners.  Perhaps he had been letting his eyes squint with suspicion on a more regular basis, creating the lines of concern he hadn’t seen before. 

        He studied the roots of his hair and saw that there was more white showing than he was comfortable with, and he promised himself that he would have to re-dye his hair black again sometime during this weekend.  On average he had to dye it twice a month, usually after the nights he allowed himself to transform.  That’s when his hair looked the worst.  There was even one morning he had woken up, after the werewolf side of him had enjoyed a full night of romping around, and for some strange reason his hair had been fully white.  He didn’t understand why it happened, or if there had been anything unusual that had happened to him that evening, but he didn’t notice anything else out of the ordinary.

        Did he really look like he was at least twenty-five years old, or older?  That’s what Dawn had said she thought he looked like, and although he laughed it off at the time, it did bother him to some degree.  It wasn’t a matter of vanity, at least that’s what he told himself.  He was more concerned with his overall health and wondered if all the trauma that had happened to him was the key factor to his aged appearance. 

        Sean sighed, and told himself that it was an overall insignificant thing that hardly mattered.  Without another thought, he opened up the medicine cabinet and took out eight of the little yellow sleeping pills and popped them into his mouth.  He cupped his hand and filled it with water from the sink to swallow them all in a single gulp.  His normal dosage was six, but he knew that his body was building up a tolerance for the drug and that he was going to have to kick it up a notch very soon to ward off the nightmares.  He figured he might as well save himself the trouble and do it now, so he didn’t have to waste his time figuring it out latter.  He really needed a goodnights rest.

        He brushed his teeth and then headed on to his bedroom to slip on some briefs before he collapsed onto his bed.  It felt so nice to finally be able to lie down and to not have any time restraints on when he had to wake up. 

        He felt the edges of sleep begin to creep over him and a few distant troubling thoughts clung to his consciousness.  Why was he even allowing himself to get as involved as he was with the new strangers of his life?  Was he lying to himself that he was doing it to make sure he wasn’t in danger, or was he letting the loneliness that he constantly felt, influence his need for companionship?  There was a horrible danger that awaited anyone that got close to him, and he had no right to endanger anyone else’s life to satisfy his own need.  Nothing was worth having to endure that kind of tragedy again.  In fact he knew he wasn’t even fully dealing with the issues of what he had experienced.  On some level he knew that his uncle had repressed those memories just so he could move on with his life, but the warning that the blocks he had put into place would slowly degrade stung him like a slow poison making its way through his body.  He would have to come to terms with everything eventually, but he dreaded that moment and he doubted that he was going to handle it well.  Still though, that time would come, and he knew he’d have to face it one way or another.

        He tried to think of something else to distract his mind of stressful things, and he found his thoughts wandering over to his uncle and his prodigy, Anna.  It had been nearly six months since he had heard how either one of them were doing and he missed them.  Thoughts of home and feelings of homesickness were the last thing that held him as a dreamless sleep finally swept over him.

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-01-31 05:26:06)



#123 2010-02-04 01:49:26

From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 161

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

this is an excelent segment hope to get more soon

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist



#124 2010-02-04 05:27:34

From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story

Thanks, Lonewolf.  I wish I had more to post, but things are progressing slower now that my schedule at work has gotten busier again.  Our down time during the holidays gave me lots of time to sit at the computers at work and make some tremendous head way, but now most of my free time is late at night after everyone else has gone to bed and I sneak off to the computer to try and accomplish a little here and there.  During my lunch breaks I've been writing in my journal trying to work through some scenes in finer detail, and discovering some loose ends where I missed a key scene or two in my outline.  Don't worry it doesn't affect anything that you've read thus far.  Although, my first chapter will get some major overhauling done to improve it and make it flow better.

I'm still working out chapter eight.  I know how I want it to begin, I've got a few objectives or points that I want the chapter to get across, and I've got a critical scene within it that will lead to a more revealing scene in chapter nine that I'm really looking forward to writing.  It's supposed to be an emotional one, or at least that's how I feel about it.  I'm not exactly sure how well I'll be able to convey it, though I hope I do it well enough to at least cause a feeling of sympathy from my readers for one of my characters.  We'll see.  Don't worry, it has nothing to do with anyone dying... yet.  Mwhaha!

Once again, thanks for your continued support Lonewolf.  I''m not sure if I'd be able to find the inner strength to keep writing without devoted readers such as yourself.  Your comments, along with everyone else gives me the inspiration I need forge ahead.  You're awesome!

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-02-04 05:32:14)



#125 2010-02-04 06:03:53

From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 161

Re: SilentStrider's untitled story


"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist



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