A lengthy interview.  This is mainly for informational purposes (basically for Ex).  Enjoy!  You guys want to read more stuff about "The Saint"?

Interview with a Werewolf Hunter
Interviewer: Billy Bombs
Interviewee: Arnold “The Saint� Paxton

BB: So Arnold, first of all I want to thank you for taking your time and joining me.

AP: My pleasure, anything to keep people safe.  Is this little montage over here for something?
(A montage of various clips from werewolf movies plays in the backdrop of Ozzy Ozborne’s “Bark at the Moon� on a large screen beside the men).

BB: Uh yeah, leads right up to my first question. How many werewolf movies do you think pay close homage to the werewolf myth?

AP: Quite honestly, not many of them.  Dog Soldiers and Bad Moonlight seem to be the best movies in my opinion.  Of course there is the 1940’s Wolf Man, which was always entertaining for a film from the past.

BB: I’ve seen Wolf Man and Bad Moonlight, but I’ve honestly missed the pleasure of seeing Dog Soldiers.  Anyway, what aspects of those movies do you agree with?

AP: Well, in Dog Soldiers, think about Predator with bad ass looking werewolves.  It’s actually a complete gore fest that is extremely suspenseful, has a good plot, and it is fun to watch.  It keeps you awake and thinking.  So back to your question, the true aspects in Bad Moonlight and Dog Soldiers are what the werewolves look like.  It follows closely to what an actual werewolf looks like.  The eight foot monster that runs around on two legs and opposable thumbs, that’s what a real werewolf looks like.  And the other aspect mainly seen in Bad Moonlight is the full moon factor.

BB: What’s the full moon factor?   Also, what happened with the four legged werewolf sometimes seen?

AP: The full moon factor is when the werewolf does all of that transformation shite.  It doesn’t matter what phase the moon is, the werewolf can turn at anytime it wants.  Some werewolves run around in the day time.  So basically, any damn time they want to turn, they turn.  Except on the full moon, they have no choice but to turn.  Once night falls, they succumb to the beast; no matter how well they think they can control it. 

BB: Well, if they don’t have a choice on a full moon, why do you hunt them?

AP: Because it doesn’t matter if they don’t kill someone on a full moon.  Most of them have the tendencies to kill when it’s a waning or waxing crescent.  On the nights that aren’t on a full moon, somewhere a werewolf will kill someone, or terrorize people for fun.  It’s my job to eliminate any threat to other’s lives.  At least supernatural threats, I try to ignore when the threat is by a normal human.  If it is not a monster, I won’t go after it. 

BB: You said any threat?  So why don’t you save a woman being assaulted in an alley?

AP: Everyone’s heard about the Lunar Riders I work with by now.  One of the first codes in our law is to not break the law.  So, if I found a woman being raped, the rapist would lie in a pool of his own blood within ten seconds.  He’ll never feel the warmth of a woman again. 

BB: Well, when you kill a werewolf, isn’t that breaking the law? 

AP: Werewolves are not human, so the law doesn’t protect them.

BB: Okay, so what do you think about Congress trying to make laws that protect werewolves.

AP (leans forward in seat, stares into Billy’s eyes): This answer is directly for Congress.  If you want to protect America, you won’t give werewolves rights.  If they want to have a place to live, they should go to Hell, or they should live in the ones like the animals they are.  And besides, not like I’m going to follow that rule.  If they do pass some protection for werewolves, they are going to have a ton of bodies lying around.

BB: So you’ll risk life in prison or worse just to kill some werewolves?

AP: I don’t think you’re listening carefully Billy.

BB (Interrupts Arnold): I am listening Arnold, it’s just… just…

AP: Just that I’m gently caressing insane?  Listen up Earth; I know this is an internationally taped interview.  Every single one of us Lunar Riders around the world are ready to die!  Not just for a local ridding of a few werewolves.  I am talking about an entire extermination of monsters globally!  Every werewolf is a threat to society!  For there to peace, calmness, and order; all werewolves must die!

BB: Look, Mr. Paxton, your honestly sounding like a radical Nazi, or a terrorist.

AP:  We are not terrorists!  We are the last hope humanity has against the deadliest beasts to walk on this God forsaken earth!  If it weren’t for men like me, you wouldn’t be here.  Werewolves take solace in chaos.  Men like me want an order to be kept between men and beasts.

(A few minutes pass in silence as Arnold calms himself down).
AP: Okay I’m sorry for losing my temper.  Fire ahead with your next question, I’m ready to answer.

BB: Do you think you have enough hunters to kill all werewolves globally?  What makes it so easy for you hunters to kill them?

AP: Our organization was built in the fifteenth century.  Every generation since has been initiated into the Lunar Riders.  Basically, we have thousands among tens of thousands of members.  As regular people start to see werewolves as a threat, our numbers will grow.

BB: How do people who don’t know how to hunt werewolves learn; do they have to be part of the Lunar Riders?

AP: No, they don’t have to be one of us.  We will give information and tips on killing if we’re asked.  I assume that is your next question.

BB: Well yes.  How do you kill a werewolf?

AP: First of all, people need to know the two main types of werewolves.  The first is a feral werewolf.  They honestly scare the shite out of me.

BB: How so?

AP: Feral werewolves base their entire lives on pure animal instinct.  They were so used to being the beast, they stayed that way.  It only takes a few days for the beast to completely destroy the human mind.

BB: So what, only the animal mind is left?

AP: Think about it this way.  You’re trapped in a cage, guns pointed at your head.  Your family is held somewhere else.  You’re cornered from all angles.  As your heart rate rises exponentially and your body shakes in rage; you realize something life altering.  A sound starts to materialize in your head; it is the sound of a raging beast.  There are two beings that might beat the guns, the beast or the gun.  It is always the beast.

BB: Why is it always the beast?

AP: The beast is truly unstoppable.  Corner any animal and it’s going to reach far beyond its normal power to escape.  As the beast attacks, the rage is an impenetrable shield.  No matter how many bullets you put into it, the beast inside you will stop at nothing to protect your body and family. 

BB: So, basically the werewolf is some kind of shield for the human body.

AP: You’re not really catching what I’m saying Billy.  I’ve hunted five feral werewolves out of my nearly three hundred victim resume.  The fifth was the most terrifying.  The werewolf and I were battling it out like immortals; we were tired but we both had a career to keep.  Neither of us stopping for a rest, it wasn’t in either one of our nature. 

BB: So did you eventually kill it?

AP: That’s what is so interesting about this particular hunt.  The werewolf pinned me to a tree, massive hands squeezing my throat.  We looked into each other’s eyes; all I saw were pools of black.  Those eyes absorbed an animal soul I’ve never had the liberty of seeing before.  I had my rifle jammed under the werewolf’s jaw.  A sharp howl cut through the air around us.  Looking past the beast, I saw its family.

BB (coughs into his elbow): Hold on!  The werewolf had a family?  How many members?

AP (shrugs): The only ones I saw were a mother in animal form and a little girl.  She was still human.  I nearly had a heart attack.  The little girl looked so normal.  She was wearing a little white dress, an angelic but frightened face.  Her crying was what made me stop.  “Please,â€� she cried, “Don’t hurt my father!â€�  Once I heard her voice, I immediately just dropped the gun. 

BB: What did the father do next?

AP: He eventually dropped me to the ground.  He was definitely pissed; he never stopped snarling through the entire ordeal.  Then the daughter and wife gripped their family member’s arm and vanished into the darkness.  After silence swallowed everything I raced back to my truck.

BB: What exactly are you getting at here?

AP: I’m saying that any being on this earth, including werewolves, will do anything for their loved ones.  That feral werewolf only had to tear my throat and we’d both be dead.  I honestly don’t know what it means though.  I truly don’t.

BB: Uh-huh, you said you saw a female werewolf.  How did you know it was female?

AP: Just because they don’t look human in most aspects, doesn’t mean they don’t have sexual organs.  Females do have breasts and the nether regions.  Obviously you’ll have to have a major fetish for hairy people to want to gently caress them in any form.  Same goes for male werewolves but there is so much fur it covers their nether regions quite well. 

BB: All right, back to the feral werewolves, what else makes them so dangerous?
       
AP: Well, you know how humans are poisoned by wolfs bane?  Feral werewolves are immune because they don’t have any more human aspects. 

BB: Wow, that’s unfortunate.  What other types of werewolves are there?  Can they be killed by wolfs bane?

AP: Werewolves are only forced into their human form by wolfs bane, not killed.  But yes, it works on half and full bred werewolves.  I’ll only discuss full bred though.  Half bred isn’t too special.  They only had one parent as a werewolf.  They are dangerous but at the bottom of the werewolf food chain.

BB: Full bred werewolves have both parents who are werewolves…

AP: Exactly, excellent job!  Anyway, a full bred can lure victims by gently caressing with their minds; they are telepathic.  Basically, they are a mellowed down feral werewolf.  They’re still extremely fast, highly aggressive, and they’re persistent.  I’ll tell you that much. 

BB: Interesting stuff, I think we need to wrap this up soon though.  How tall can a werewolf normally get?

AP: They can get from seven to nine feet.

BB: How about their lifespan?

AP: They live to about 150 years old, and in some cases a little older. 

BB: OK, other than wolfs bane, what is a good weapon against them?

AP: Any sort of big gun.  If you don’t have silver, blow their head off.  A silver knife works well with either brain or heart.  Also; werewolves can’t heal wounds caused by silver. 

BB: All right, last question.  How can you tell what a werewolf looks like in their human form?

AP: I’m not the one to tell you that, its one of the things my boss doesn’t want me to say.

BB: Oh… well, no matter than.  Thank you for your time, and I’m sorry about offending you with some of the questions. 

AP: It’s no problem at all.  Just a reminder, don’t get bitten folks!