Hi everybody,
I got a bit of a pickle. As you all know I'm a black werewolf and it has something to do with that but I wasn't sure where to put this so I put it here. Anyway, a couple of months ago I was with a wonderful woman. She's sweet, nice, funny, smart, etc, etc, etc. you know? Anyway, the problem is I broke up with her because I didn't think she could handle my wolf or anything of that nature. And now she's with someone else and I'm happy for her. But I keep thinking about her all the time and wonder if I made a mistake. Oh I forgot to mention she loves wolves. So that's what got me thinking that I might have made a mistake of letting her go. I would really apperciate any advice or comments from anybody who wants to comment.
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First off, let me say - if you made the decision to break it off with her because YOU decided she couldn't handle your wolf, then the joke's on you. It was incredibly unfair of you to make that decision for her. You could have given her the chance to decide for herself wether or not she could handle it. I know it is a natural instinct to want to protect the people we love, but making decisions for them is disrespectful. It's like saying that we don't trust them to make wise decisions on their own - which is the opposite of love.
As for what to do now... If she is with someone else, that complicates matters. Probably the best you can do is just try to talk to her, or send her a letter if she isn't will or the circumstances don't allow you a face to face talk. Just tell her why you broke it off, why you feel it was wrong of you, and let her know that you would like a second chance. Of course, asking her for a second chance with you is asking her to break it off with her new guy - and that may not be the most honorable thing to do. I think it would mainly depend upon how serious the relationship is at this point. If they are still in a "casually dating, but exclusive to each other" stage, then I'd say asking her to leave him for you would be fine. Then you'll just have to leave it to her to make a decision, and respect her decision even if it isn't the one you want. If, however, they are more seriously involved - as in, they have a committment to each other that is something like engagement or they are living together, then asking her to leave him for you would be underhanded and kind of sleazy. I mean, you're the one that broke it off with her, after all. If they are that close, then I would suggest still telling her why you broke it off, because if you hadn't already then she does deserve an explanation of the truth. But don't ask her to leave him and don't try to pressure her. If she wants, she could still leave the other guy to get back together with you - but you won't have been actively encouraging her to break a committment to someone else.
Either way, good luck. I hope that everything works out well for the both of you in the long run.
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I agree with Moonlit Hunter. what he says makes a lot of sense, its what i would say but worded much better than i can even dream of doing heheh, but anyways good luck to ya.
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Thanks guys. That helps a lot. And thanks for the luck. I'll need it badly.
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i hope it works out well.
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So do I. I want her to be my omega. At least that's what I've heard females are called in the werewolf world.
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sorry i normally hear mate or something like that.
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Well one of the werewolves on the other site told me their called the female alpha and the omegas are the ones that are new to the pack.
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Okay, you need to not beliee everything you hear on the Internet. In fact, you'd better take everything you hear wth a grain of salt. If I were a woman and you told me you want me to be your omega, if I didn't do you bodily harm, the least you could expect is not to ever see me again.
The jerk on the other end of cyberspace must have the idea that every woman wants to be dominated.
Look, if she's not a Werewolf, don't drag her into the wild and wooly world of lycanthropy. Let her be what she is. She doesn't have to be a "mate" to have a relationship with you. Don't be so caught up in "your thing" that you miss a good thing.
Gyah! "Omega" (brrrrr)
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Wait, let me make that somewhat clearer. Quit playing games. If you lost her, you lost herby playing games in the first place (you're trying to second guess her). Learn a lesson here.
And if you're a Werewolf, you probaby need to lose the humaside - the wolfside isn't a game player. The humanside is just going to keep you in trouble.
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To be honest I have thought about losing the human side. But I'm not sure if I could get used to being a full time wolf you know? I mean I've been stuck between both worlds for so long. It's hard to get used or to choose which one to lose.
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That's a problem but it's your problem and you're going to have to do something about it. I hope you make the right decision - you have a lot to lose.
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I know. That's why I'm taking my time to think. Espically at night when I can think without anyone around.
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You sounded like you had things all planned out.
Look, Werewolves appreciate two things - experience and the willingness to serve the community. Those will get you an alpha position.
Women appreciate that you care about them specifically.
Don't tell anybody anything that you're not willing to back up completely by your behavior.
Werewolves will read you like a book. Don't say anything around them you don't mean. Don't promise them anything you can't carry out. With them, it's a heck of a lot easier to gain a good reputation than to try to regain one.
My advise, if you've never been around Therians before, spend some time around them (and I don't mean on the Internet), get to know what they're like and don't make undue assumptions before you even get started.
Find an established Howl and attend it. You can find one close to you on the Werelist but please don't start with a post like the ones you've posted here - they'll eat you alive. Lurk awhile, pay attention to the other posters and then start posting.
And where ever you got the advise on women - go somehwere else, they're not living in the same universe that you're in.
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Thanks. I'll think about what you said for a while and see what I decide.
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*facepaw*
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Well, I would advise you to figure out your therianthropy a bit more. Some research into the topic might help, and try and figure out a bit more about your so called "changing" , because there may be a more rational explanation for it. If you can't work this out rationally, you may look into being commited.
Last edited by Ochiruya (2010-08-02 01:33:01)
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