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#1 2010-12-20 12:58:30

WolflikeCriminal
Member
From: Rock Bottom
Registered: 2010-11-18
Posts: 605

And It Starts Here... (Read and Comment)

Chapter 1: The Beginning of It All


He stood behind her, the love of his life, and watched her look over the cliff. Her long brunette hair blew in the ocean mist as she held

her arms around her stomach. Her body was little and petite, with not many curves, and small hips. The scene was so perfect. She looked like a

fallen angel, with only one purpose. She was there for him. In addition, he loved her.



The cliff she stood over was 30 feet tall and looked over the deep-sea waves crashing against the rocks. Slowly, he walked towards her.



“Shadow,” he whispered as he neared her. As she turned he saw her chocolate brown eyes; blood shot and wet.  Gently wiping a tear

from her face, he whispered again. “What’s wrong?”



Shadow reached up and touched his hand. “I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you,” she paused and laid his hand by his side.



“I don’t understand,”


               
“Nether do I,” she replied through shaky gasps.  She turned her back to him breathing deeply.



He reached for her waist as she took one more deep breath.



“I love you,” was the last words she mumbled before she dove off the cliff. He grabbed for her, but it was too late. Watching his fiancé

fall faster and faster away from him, hitting the water at full force, he felt his heart shatter. Shock took over his body as his knees gave way. The

tears began to trickle, slowly forming into a delicate waterfall over his cheeks.



He could fell everything and nothing at the same time as he lay on his back with his eyes closed on the cold ground. The earth offered

numbing relief of his pain as he felt himself become one with the scents. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think, he could barely release his

wheezing breaths. He choked on his gasps for air but felt as if he were being choked as earth filled his lungs.



His body jerked up in one awkward movement as he coughed hysterically. Yellow eyes shot open as he took his final breath of humanity.





Comments are very welcome smile


Tell me im worthless,useless and pathetic. I will believe you. But in the end im the one who succeeds.

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#2 2010-12-20 16:06:17

SilentStrider
Member
From: Michigan, Oscoda
Registered: 2008-09-10
Posts: 441

Re: And It Starts Here... (Read and Comment)

Intense beginning!  You made me want to know more.

I would recommend cleaning up the format after you post.  It takes some getting used to, but with a little trial and error you'll figure out what works for you

Last edited by SilentStrider (2010-12-20 16:07:44)

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#3 2010-12-23 12:14:09

Afflicted.Soul
Member
From: Fayetteville, North Carolina
Registered: 2010-11-18
Posts: 137

Re: And It Starts Here... (Read and Comment)

=] You talk pretty...


Why didn't you just jump....

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