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#1 2010-04-24 13:52:53

ShadowWolf2010
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From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484
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The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer:
How the People of the Forest Were Forgotten.

from Chapter 15 of R.A. Dodson's History of Lycanthropia: A Examination of Cultural Lycanthropic Peoples and Histories, pages 345-347.


In the darkest past of humanity, when men and animals were separated by little more than sticks and stones, the world was a different place. There was time before time, an age before an age, when there was no civility, no war, no trust or light, only survival of those that did not die first. Humans were a dying race, suffocated by their own weaknesses, their pitiful scrambling to claw out a meager existence barely keeping their primitive species alive.

There were other people in the world in those days. The greatest of these, were the Old Ones, the Shia-Nuk. They were not human but Wolf. They lived in a great cities, deep within the forests of the world, and they were many clans. The most powerful of the clans, the Deshani, lived in the largest city of them all, hidden deep within the darkest forest, in the darkest part of the world across the Great Water, just on its shores.

They hunted, created, lived and died in peace, raising families, passing down their traditions and magick through the generations. The Deshani were a special clan, a warrior clan, with the power to turn from the wolf on four legs to a Wolf Man on two at will. They were a proud people, living in harmony with nature, avoiding man, fearing what He could become.

One day while hunting, a Deshani warrior, Manantak, was wounded by his prey, a Great Bison. The angry beast leveled itself with Manantak, lowering its head for the kill, surely to kill the son of the Warrior chief, the Council Elder, Sonara. It charged at him, its deadly horns seeking his throat when suddenly the monstrous beast dropped dead to the ground, falling violently, a long wooden spear lodged in its throat.

Astounded, Manantak looked to the hill above him and saw a lone human male standing there, naked except for the furs he had somehow seen to clothe himself with, his arm still outstretched with the sheer force he had used to hurl the spear into the Great Bison, saving Manantak’s life. Manantak wanted to run, to escape; his father and his elders warned him against Humans, as they were dangerous beasts incapable of caring or love or compassion or mercy.

The Human did not attack him, but rather moved slowly, carefully, and finally knelt next to Manantak in curiosity, seeing the broken leg that had nearly cost Manantak his life. The Human did nothing but stare and for a moment, the two Beings did nothing. Manantak knew that his leg would heal due to the old magick in his people but he was vulnerable until it had, and he realized he was at the mercy of this savage Human, the Hairless One.

Manantak spoke to the Human, who only turned his head to the side, unable to speak in return. Frustrated at first, Manantak eventually saw how to use his hands to show the Human what was needed. He showed the Human how to build a fire and tend the flame, keeping the more dangerous predators at bay. Strangely, this Human stayed the entire night with Manantak and did not leave his side.

By morning, Manantak was able to help the human cut the bison and clean it, roasting its flesh on the fire, and Manantak realized he was breaking the sacred Laws of the Elders by being with this human but something was different about this Human. They were not what they seemed. Having dined with the Human, Manantak tried to get the Human to speak, teaching him words of the Wolfen tongue.

At first, the Human could not manage the sounds and when Manantak was about to forgo his efforts, the Human managed to speak a single Wolfen word: larunmae.

The Wolfen word for friend.

Within a fortnight, the bison was nearly gone and Manantak’s leg had healed. Deciding that perhaps the Elders were wrong about Humans, Manantak took the Human back to Racianir, the Deshani city, deep within the forests, far from other Humans. At first, the other Deshani had wanted to kill the Human, seeing him as a threat. Manantak vouched for him in the tribunal and spared his life on the condition that he could teach the Human to be civilized.

After months and many moon cycles of work and effort, the Human learned to speak, to write, to read, to carry himself as a Deshani. Manantak taught the Human the ways of the Wolf Warrior, the sacred Deshani and finally, he was as the Wolfen were, a civilized being, a proud and capable warrior.

The Deshani then gave the human a final test, to prove that his kind could be taught and sent him back to his own tribe, to pass on what he had learned. The Human, now called Kanis, was able to teach the ways of the Wolf to his people, the ways of community, order, and knowledge. Kanis eventually brought his people and the Wolf people together in a union of societies that brought a period of great bounty to both peoples, a time of plenty and security. This was known as the Beginning Time.

As a reward for making peace between the Humans and the People of the Forest, the Wolf people, Kanis was finally made into a Deshani warrior and having passed his trial, was bestowed upon the greatest of the gifts the Wolf people could give: the gift of the Change, allowing Kanis to become the first Man to be able to change into a Manwolf and back to a Man again at will. Kanis used his new gifts, becoming a guardian of the Deshani and the Human tribes as Humans and Wolf People began to live together in an open society, as a single heart and mind. Humans and Wolf People married, had children and families, extending the legacy of the old magick of the Change to new generations.

It was said in the day, that the most powerful warriors had Wolves for mothers .

The Time of Beginning was past, and the Time of Plenty soon turned into a dark despair as the greed and corruption and fear began to spread through both Shia-Nuk and the Humans. Poverty and hunger began to spread as the world grew cold and lifeless, as unending snows fell, freezing the world.

Finally, after many long years of life, the last of Elders died, leaving no Council to rule the people of Racianir. A young but cold hearted Changer, the last son of the Elders, took over the society, ruling it with an iron fist, punishing those who would not bow to his wishes or commands. In time, after the ice left, the people grew oppressed and fearful of the Changers and the Wolf People, the People of the Forest. Finally, unfettered by the Council and tired of ruling  Racianir, the Dark One set his black heart on conquest, attacking the city with his own troops, turning on his own people, killing them.

For months, the streets ran with blood and for the first time since its foundation, the City of the Racianir knew death and evil.

Despite being older now in his last days, Kanis formed a group of the last Warriors of the Deshani to stand against the Dark One and free his people, both the Wolfen and the Humans, from the Dark One’s oppression. He challenged the Dark One, taking his rightful place as the first Human Changer as the last Elder and led a fight against the Dark One, one last time to save the civilization that had been built over hundreds of years.

The war was long and drawn out and when it was over, the Dark One lay dead, his hold  on the people broken. So horrible was the fighting, the death and the loss of life, that Humans began to openly hate and fear any Changer and so, the bond that brought Wolf and Man together was broken forever, shattered beyond repair. The Warriors of Deshani were outcast from the society they formed to protect and Kanis, being the first Human Changer, died at last, some say from a broken heart, as he lay down in the very spot where he first met his Wolf Brother, Manantak.

Again the snows and ice came, driving the people of Racianir out of the ruined city, crushing the old homes, temples and towers into rubble, burying them in the ages of time. Humans fell back into their savage ways, entering a dark age of superstition and terror, with horrified whispers of men that changed into wolves lurking in the forests, always out to get children and do evil deeds, forgetting the once glorious society that brought the two People’s together from a single act of tolerance and peace as darkness finally took the land and drove from it the magick of the Elders, the first Changers.

Last edited by ShadowWolf2010 (2011-03-27 16:11:48)


--Tony
"Woof."

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#2 2010-04-25 05:25:24

lonewolf13
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From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 161

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

wow O.O


"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist

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#3 2010-04-25 13:28:32

ShadowWolf2010
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From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484
Website

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

I take it that's a good thing. smile lol


--Tony
"Woof."

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#4 2010-04-26 01:39:50

lonewolf13
Member
From: a time long forgotten
Registered: 2009-06-12
Posts: 161

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

yes
smile


"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. ...In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth...."
    Alphonse Elric --- Fullmetal Alchemist

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#5 2010-04-26 09:01:48

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484
Website

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

Ok then! smile thanks!


--Tony
"Woof."

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#6 2011-03-28 23:43:05

mrRW
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Registered: 2009-12-01
Posts: 127

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

This is pretty darn cool.  One question though:

"They hunted, created, lived and died in peace, raising families, passing down their traditions and magick through the generations. The Deshani were a special clan, a warrior clan,"

Seems slightly contradictory that a warrior clan would live and die in peace, no?

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#7 2011-04-01 08:51:16

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484
Website

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

mrRW wrote:

This is pretty darn cool.  One question though:

"They hunted, created, lived and died in peace, raising families, passing down their traditions and magick through the generations. The Deshani were a special clan, a warrior clan,"

Seems slightly contradictory that a warrior clan would live and die in peace, no?

The Deshani weren't the only clans to live in the world at that time. While they did live in peace, they did have threats from outside the clans walls. The world was a strange place back then. smile


--Tony
"Woof."

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#8 2011-04-01 17:33:56

Ridgewolf
Member
From: New Zealand
Registered: 2010-11-15
Posts: 92

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

On nom nom.

More writting from my favorite author, time to read :3

EDIT: probably already said... But wow.

Last edited by Ridgewolf (2011-04-01 17:44:49)


Wolfs 'n' Minecraft <3

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#9 2011-04-02 00:25:16

RedMoonstruck
Member
Registered: 2011-03-30
Posts: 161

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

Wow! I am really, really liking this myth! I had to read the entire thing twice! I love the names and is well written in the spirit of a folkloric tale. It definitely kept me interested. smile

A few things I noticed:

-Pronouns! In a few places, you used a lot of proper names like this (I made them big so you could see them as I can't seem to bold or italicize anything in these posts): "THE HUMAN did not attack him, but rather moved slowly, carefully, and finally knelt next to Manantak in curiosity, seeing the broken leg that had nearly cost Manantak his life. THE HUMAN did nothing but stare and for a moment, the two Beings did nothing. Manantak knew that his leg would heal due to the old magick in his people but he was vulnerable until it had, and he realized he was at the mercy of this savage HUMAN, the Hairless One.

Manantak spoke to THE HUMAN, who only turned his head to the side, unable to speak in return. Frustrated at first, Manantak eventually saw how to use his hands to show THE HUMAN what was needed. He showed THE HUMAN how to build a fire and tend the flame, keeping the more dangerous predators at bay. Strangely, THIS HUMAN  stayed the entire night with Manantak and did not leave his side."

I have the same problem when I'm writing in first person. You get into a rhythm in your head, and it's easy to do when you're telling a story that's meant to sound like a folk tale. But, the repetition doesn't really work that well here. Try using more descriptive words like "the man", "the strange creature/being", "the young male", etc. I liked 'The Hairless One' reference. You should use that a bit more, methinks. You only use it once. smile

-I've noticed this in your other writing, too. You tell too much. If you can, when you can, SHOW the reader what is happening, rather than tell them. Make them feel the bitterness of that freezing rain! The heat of the inferno! The terrible, suffocating pain of being stabbed in the chest! Anyone can tell what happened, but it's a good writer than knows how to make the reader wince from a blow or smile from a kiss. smile For this little story, it's okay, I guess, because of the style you're going for. You obviously have a good grasp of how words work together - you've got some beautiful clauses in here. Expand upon that and I guarantee your writing will be all the more gripping! You already do especially well with tension in your writing. smile
For example: When Manatak first spies the human on top of the ridge, you could imply that the human is more feral or more primitive by describing his movements, the state of his dress (which you do mention the furs), his smell, whether she shaves or not, etc. Even in a folktale like this one, you can squeeze in a few sights. smile I had a hard time picturing how he looked. Also, what do Wolf cities look like? Are we talking like, rustic, Middle Age "city" (in that it's more of a very large village or town), or something more Modern (Renaissance era, kinda sorta). Do the Wolves wear any kind of clothing?

-Maybe it's me but I'm not entirely sure why the Humans and Changers decided that they did not like each other. I understand that the fighting had been terrible, and the humans had apparently developed a fear of the Wolves due to the Dark Lord's rule, but...that part's a bit vague to me. How exactly did the Dark One make the Humans so mistrustful of the Shia-Nuk. I'm assuming he played favorites with his own race and forced the Humans underfoot? Perhaps go into a bit more detail here. smile

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#10 2011-04-02 19:18:53

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484
Website

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

RedMoonstruck wrote:

Wow! I am really, really liking this myth! I had to read the entire thing twice! I love the names and is well written in the spirit of a folkloric tale. It definitely kept me interested. smile

A few things I noticed:

-Pronouns! In a few places, you used a lot of proper names like this (I made them big so you could see them as I can't seem to bold or italicize anything in these posts): "THE HUMAN did not attack him, but rather moved slowly, carefully, and finally knelt next to Manantak in curiosity, seeing the broken leg that had nearly cost Manantak his life. THE HUMAN did nothing but stare and for a moment, the two Beings did nothing. Manantak knew that his leg would heal due to the old magick in his people but he was vulnerable until it had, and he realized he was at the mercy of this savage HUMAN, the Hairless One.

Manantak spoke to THE HUMAN, who only turned his head to the side, unable to speak in return. Frustrated at first, Manantak eventually saw how to use his hands to show THE HUMAN what was needed. He showed THE HUMAN how to build a fire and tend the flame, keeping the more dangerous predators at bay. Strangely, THIS HUMAN  stayed the entire night with Manantak and did not leave his side."

I have the same problem when I'm writing in first person. You get into a rhythm in your head, and it's easy to do when you're telling a story that's meant to sound like a folk tale. But, the repetition doesn't really work that well here. Try using more descriptive words like "the man", "the strange creature/being", "the young male", etc. I liked 'The Hairless One' reference. You should use that a bit more, methinks. You only use it once. smile

-I've noticed this in your other writing, too. You tell too much. If you can, when you can, SHOW the reader what is happening, rather than tell them. Make them feel the bitterness of that freezing rain! The heat of the inferno! The terrible, suffocating pain of being stabbed in the chest! Anyone can tell what happened, but it's a good writer than knows how to make the reader wince from a blow or smile from a kiss. smile For this little story, it's okay, I guess, because of the style you're going for. You obviously have a good grasp of how words work together - you've got some beautiful clauses in here. Expand upon that and I guarantee your writing will be all the more gripping! You already do especially well with tension in your writing. smile
For example: When Manatak first spies the human on top of the ridge, you could imply that the human is more feral or more primitive by describing his movements, the state of his dress (which you do mention the furs), his smell, whether she shaves or not, etc. Even in a folktale like this one, you can squeeze in a few sights. smile I had a hard time picturing how he looked. Also, what do Wolf cities look like? Are we talking like, rustic, Middle Age "city" (in that it's more of a very large village or town), or something more Modern (Renaissance era, kinda sorta). Do the Wolves wear any kind of clothing?

-Maybe it's me but I'm not entirely sure why the Humans and Changers decided that they did not like each other. I understand that the fighting had been terrible, and the humans had apparently developed a fear of the Wolves due to the Dark Lord's rule, but...that part's a bit vague to me. How exactly did the Dark One make the Humans so mistrustful of the Shia-Nuk. I'm assuming he played favorites with his own race and forced the Humans underfoot? Perhaps go into a bit more detail here. smile

thank you for the insight! This piece is written from an "in-universe" book from the "Wolf" stories. This is a snippet from the collection in Draco's library. I didnt go into detail deliberately because this legend will be explored in much great depth in the main book itself. smile I'm glad you guys liked this. I may post more stuff from the "Wolf" universe...maybe some of raven's science notes or Rakino's manifesto. smile never know!


--Tony
"Woof."

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#11 2011-04-02 19:39:42

RedMoonstruck
Member
Registered: 2011-03-30
Posts: 161

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

No problem! I would like to read more of your stuff - especially from your 'Wolf' universe. Is that it's real title or just a tentative one?

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#12 2011-04-02 22:08:15

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484
Website

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

RedMoonstruck wrote:

No problem! I would like to read more of your stuff - especially from your 'Wolf' universe. Is that it's real title or just a tentative one?

"Wolf" is the title of the first book in the main series and "wolf universe" refers to any character, location, science, history, legends, etc from that universe which is essentially the same as ours but with werewolves (everythings better with werewolves).

If you havent found it already, you can find "Wolf" on here under the post "Wolf, Prologue" and you can find a few more pieces of writing (including Wolf) here:

http://www.fictionpress.com/u/745725/Anthony_Milhorn

Have fun!


--Tony
"Woof."

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#13 2011-04-15 14:05:01

Oldwolf81
Member
Registered: 2011-02-19
Posts: 123

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

So, we have a preparatory phase for your storytelling.


the texas octogenerian
wolf favorite animal

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#14 2011-04-15 14:14:29

ShadowWolf2010
Member
From: TN
Registered: 2010-01-17
Posts: 484
Website

Re: The Legend of the Shia-Nuk and the First Changer

Oldwolf81 wrote:

So, we have a preparatory phase for your storytelling.

Sorry? smile


--Tony
"Woof."

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