(I've worked on this page, hopefully it sounds better than the one on my website)

Chapter 1: First day of School

The birds twittered in the cool morning air since 5 AM, waking up Susan. She dragged herself out of bed and went to the bathroom at the end of the hall where she spent most of her early morning putting on makeup and getting dressed.
She was close to getting dressed and was now doing her hair and trying to hurry. She faced the mirror that hung over the white marble sink, trying to put her blond hair in a bun. While she was busy with her hair, she began to hear a loud buzzing.
    "Coal, get up!" Susan yelled from the bathroom when the alarm didn't stop buzzing. Heavy footsteps hit the floor with each step and then the alarm clock suddenly became silent. It took Susan another ten minutes to finish her hair. She stood back from the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. She wore a light blue silk shirt and a light blue dress that reached to her knees.
Satisfied with how she looked, she left the bathroom, passing Coal's room. She noticed the closed door and listened for sounds of Coal getting up but there was no noise coming from the room. She assumed he had went back to sleep.
    "Coal!" Susan shouted at the door
    "Downstairs, mom!" Coal shouted from downstairs.
Susan smiled, relieved that he got up in time for school and yet surprised at how fast he got up.
She hurried downstairs and walked through the hall to the kitchen. The lights were turned on and the curtains over the windows was closed. Coal sat at the small round wooden table in the kitchen with a yellow bowl full of cheerios and milk. The sun barley peaked in the horizon, turning the sky a light shade of yellow, pink and pale blue.
    "You didn't waste time getting downstairs," Susan noticed walking to the table where her gray and white messenger bag sat opened. Coal didn't respond, he just wanted to hurry and finish eating. Susan opened her bag and, shuffling through the books and papers, making sure she didn't forget anything.
    "Did you forget something?" Coal asked looking up at her with his blue eyes.
She paused and looked up at him from her bag, "I hope not," She answered, looking at Coal's black messy hair. "Did you brush your hair yet?"
    "I got up and you were using the bathroom," Coal answered, yawning tiredly.
    "Brush your hair before we leave for school in a few minutes," Susan told him.
Coal rushed his breakfast while checking the clock on the wall sitting in front of him. The needle on the clock came closer to 6:30 with every tick.
After he had finished eating, he took his bowl to the kitchen counter and sat it down in the sink. He turned from the counter noticing his mother running back and forth through the kitchen and living room. She obviously had forgot something, seeing how she was stuffing papers in her messenger bag.
    "Coal, hurry," Susan told him rushing out of the kitchen.
    "Mom, what's the hurry?" Coal asked loudly, "We're not going to be late for school."
    "I want to get there before the school buses do," Susan answered from the living room.
Coal left the kitchen and hurried upstairs to the bathroom. He picked up his blue brush that hung on the wall to his right and brushed his hair. He stroked the brush down over his S shaped scar to hide it, then he stroked the rest of his hair.
    "Coal!" Susan shouted from downstairs.
    "Just a minute!" Coal yelled impatiently.
He hung the brush back on the wall and hurried downstairs where Susan was waiting at the door. Coal went to the living room, picked up his black and gray backpack, then hurried out of the house with Susan behind him.
    "Mom, can't you just home school me like you use to?" Coal asked standing behind her. This will be his first time stepping inside a school and he was already feeling a little nervous.
Susan locked the front door with her key and walked Coal to her dark red car. She opened the back door of her car and dropped her bag on the backseat then she closed the door.
    "I can't anymore. I don't have time, so you have to go to school like everyone else," Susan answered as she opened the driver's side of the door. She paused for a moment and smiled at Coal, "besides, you just might make some friends."
Coal sighed, he didn't like the idea of going to school with a crowed, especially if it's anything like the TV shows. He liked it at home, it was quiet and hardly anyone bothered him.
Coal climbed into the car on the passenger side, closed the door and put his seat belt on. He left his backpack on the floor beside his feet while Susan got into the car.
    "Your first day at school. Are you exited?" Susan asked, putting on her seat belt and backing the car out of the driveway.
    "No, not one bit. It'll be noisy, crowed...and simply terrible," Coal replied, leaning on his head on the window and stared outside. His mother was obviously more excited than he was. She had always dreamed of taking Coal to school like normal people.
Susan smiled, "It won't be that bad, Coal." She pulled out onto the street, put the car in dive and drove off.
Susan took a quick look at him and saw that he was pouting, "Coal, going to school is just what you need. You can't stay home all the time."
    "I can try," Coal muttered without looking at his mother. He was still upset that he had to go to school.
Coal watched the big towering city in the distance as Susan drove through the neighborhood and onto the busy street. Trees occasionally blocked Coal's view of the city which had interested him. As they drove closer to the edge of town, the city buildings began to look taller.
    "There it is, Coal," Susan pointed to the red bricked building that was higher than the trees.
When they came to a clearing just short of the school yard, Coal looked at the large red school building. It was three stories high with large windows on it. A fairly large tree sat at the front of the building barly casting a shadow as the sun started to rise. A row of cut rectangle bushes grew against the school building. Coal immediately noticed the yellow painted curb in front of the school and wondered if it had something to do with buses or parking for special people.
Susan drove into the parking lot at the side of the school building which was partially full of cars. She parked her dark red car next to the grass and a blue van.
Coal took his seat belt off and opened the door. There were a few students walking to school, some were dropped off by their parents in front of the school.
    "Do you have your schedule?" Susan asked getting out of the car and opening the back car door.
    "Yes," Coal answered, getting out of the car and hanging his backpack on his shoulder.
His mother had given him a list of teachers, class numbers and times for the week. She wanted to be sure he didn't get lost.
    "Good. Can you find your room without me?" Susan asked taking her messenger bag off the seat and closing the door.
    "I guess," Coal answered, taking a piece of paper out of his backpack.
He wasn't sure where his room was or his locker since the paper didn't show a map. He will just have to explore the halls.
Susan hung her messenger bag on her shoulder and walked Coal followed the path to the School doors.
Once they were inside, they stopped and looked down the four large halls. Susan remembered where the office was, just around the corner. She had visited the office on her first job interview.
    "Couldn't you have gotten another job?" Coal asked, feeling uneasy about the whole idea of going to school.
    "Getting a job as a science teacher is perfect for me and you. I can be with you most of the time, especially if you have any trouble at school." Susan answered. "Well, I'm going to find my classroom." Susan left Coal and went upstairs just down the left hall.
Coal looked at his paper and read his locker number, "210, I wonder where that is?"
He walked to the hall ahead of him, reading all the locker numbers as he past them. Then he went down several more halls till he came to one with windows on one side.
    "110...150...200" Coal stopped, he knew he was close to his locker, "205...210."
Just five lockers away from a door that lead outside was a green locker with his number on it.
He opened his locker, took out his lunch bag from his backpack and sat it in his locker. Then he closed the locker door.
Coal left his locker as the halls started to pack with kids coming into the building. Coal gasped, he didn't want to be caught in the crowed, he hurried down the hall towards the stairs and rushed up. On the second floor, he looked at the room numbers above the doors till he found his room. He peaked inside and saw his new teacher preparing paperwork on her desk. He carefully walked in, not wanting to disturb the teacher but it was to late, as soon as he stepped through the doorway, the small spot on the floor creaked.
    "Hello," the teachers said looking up from her desk, "You must be Coal."
    "Yes," Coal replied.
    "Well have a seat, Coal," The teacher pointed to a desk in front of her.
Time flew quickly while Coal was in the room doing math. The bell rang and the teacher announced to the class that it was lunch time.
Everyone put their books in their backpacks or carried them rushing to get out of the room. When the room was clear, Coal was of course the last to leave, he didn't want to get ran over or pushed. He went downstairs to his locker and took out his lunch leaving his backpack in his locker. Coal turned, startled at first when he saw a dark blond girl watching him. He was new and didn't see why anyone would want to bother him or stare at him. He stood for a few minutes looking at her. She wore jeans and a sleeveless shirt.
She smiled at him, "Hi, I'm Raya. You’re the new kid in school...right?"
    "Yes," Coal answered, not sure why she was talking to him or what she wanted.
Just then 3 other kids joined Raya, standing next to her. A light brown headed boy and a red headed boy with a long black haired girl.
    "What's your name?" Raya asked.
    "Coal," he answered, looking at the other three kids.
    "This is Ava, Mike and Darik. Do you want to join us for lunch?" Raya asked happily.
Coal didn't feel comfortable eating with someone he barley knew. He would never have thought someone would ask him such a question. They must be the strangest people he's seen.
    "No thanks," Coal answered, then he went outside through the door.
    "He's the new kid in school?" Darik asked, watching Coal walk away.
    "Perhaps he's shy?" Ava guessed
    "Come on, lets join him instead," Raya proposed, walking outside.
    "He said no, though," Mike reminded her.
    "He's not going to join us so we'll join him instead," Raya told him.
    "Why are you bothering with him anyway?" Mike asked following her outside.
Raya stopped and looked at him with a serious face, "Because, he's new."
Raya continued walking outside with her three friends, following Coal to the far end of the courtyard towards the field.
Coal found a spot to sit by the walk, it was far enough away from other kids. He sat down on the grass and took out his sandwich.
Raya and her three friends approached Coal, startling him and sat down around him. Coal sighed, and continued eating his sandwich while listening to Raya talk. He never thought it was possible for someone to talk so much.
    "Coal, you don't talk much," Raya noticed.
    "No one talks as much as you do," Darik remarked dumping his bag on the grass to sort out his lunch.
Raya felt annoyed by his remark, "I can't help it. I have a lot to say."
    "Yeah. A lot about nothing," Darik agreed as he and Mike began laughing, even Ava giggled.
Coal sat with a blank look on his face wondering what was so funny. This was why he wanted to eat alone.
When he finished eating, he packed his empty cartons, baggies and spoon into his lunch bag and stood up, "bye." Then he left.
    "Ummm...wait!" Raya exclaimed, "Lunch isn't over yet."
    "I'm done eating so lunch is over for me. Bye," Then Coal turned and left, heading back into school.
    "Well, he's not the talkative type," Darik noticed.
    "We didn't even get to find out much about him, just his name," Mike said.
    "Well, lets go ask him some questions and-" Raya started to suggest something but Mike interrupted her.
    "Let him be. You pestered him enough for one day," Mike told her.

Coal dropped his lunch bag in the trash bin by the door and went inside the school. He went to his locker and took out his backpack then stood at the window gazing at the 4 kids that sat with him.
    "What an odd group. Is everyone here like that?" Coal muttered.
The halls were quiet, no one was nearby. He turned from the window he went upstairs to his next class.
He pushed and shoved his way to class during each bell. He couldn't wait to get home where it was quiet and no one around to push him out-of-the-way.  When the last bell rang, he left his classroom and hurried to join his mother in her classroom, by then everyone had left and only his mother was there still packing papers in her bag.
Susan looked up from her desk and smiled, "Coal, ready to head home?"
    "Yes," Coal answered standing at the door, looking miserable.
    "Smile Coal. School wasn't that bad...was it?" Susan asked approaching him.
    "It was ok...I guess," Coal answered reluctantly.
    "Ok?" Susan asked pausing in front of him.
    "The kids in school talk to much and it's crowed and..." Coal paused for a moment when his mother began laughing. It caught him by surprise, surly he saw nothing funny about it.
    "Sounds like when I went to school," Susan laughed, "Come on, lets go home."
Susan walked Coal to the hall and closed the door. Then she led him down the hall to the stairs. Once Coal was outside, he stopped, surprised to see so many school buses. He had seen school buses before but never wanted to ride one.
    "Hay Coal!" Raya shouted running towards him.
Coal sighed, he knew that voice instantly. He looked away from the buses, only to find Raya with her three friends approaching him.
    "Coal, I guess we'll be seeing you at lunch tomorrow then?" Raya asked.
She sounded hopeful, unfortunately for Coal she wasn't about to leave him alone.
    "That is if he doesn't mind chatterbox," Darik added.
    "Of course he doesn't mind," Susan said suddenly walking through the school doors.
    "Mom," Coal whispered to her, wanting her to stay out of his problem. He knew this was just what his mother was hoping for.
    "Are you Miss Withers the new science teacher?" Mike asked surprised to see her.
    "Yes I am," Susan answered smiling.
    "Your Coal's mother?" Darik asked surprisingly.
    "Yes. Are you four, friends of Coal?" Susan asked them.
    "We'd like to be," Ava answered shyly.
Susan was happy and felt like a weight had been lifted from her. She glanced at Coal who didn't seem happy about it but she hoped he would learn to be friends.
    "That's wonderful. Coal never had friends before. School is new to him too," Susan commented.
Coal folded his arms in frustration, "Mom...please."
Susan giggled at her son's impatience to leave, "Well we better go. Bye."
The four kids said good-bye and hurried to the cars that were waiting for them.
Coal walked to the dark red car in the parking lot. Most of the cars had left the parking lot, even the van that sat next to his mother's car. He opened car door and climbed inside. Coal dropped his bag of books on the floor next to his feet. Susan sat her bag on the backseat and climbed in the diver side.
    "How about that? Four new friends," Susan commented.
    "I didn't ask for friends," Coal told her in a grouchy voice.
    "You need friends," Susan told him.
    "No I don't. I was fine without them all these years," Coal replied.
    "Everyone needs friends, Coal. It will be a lonely world without them," Susan told him. Then she backed the car out the parking spot and left the school parking lot, heading home.

Last edited by LunaCat (2010-02-12 18:04:29)

Thank you for your suggestions. Before I even think of an editor, I am going to rework the story a but more.
I'm also going to try and learn a bit more on writing mechanics.

Last edited by LunaCat (2010-02-13 21:50:13)

Thank you so much. I had no idea I jumped between Present, past and future so much.
I'll post a redo of the chapters soon, hopefully I have worked out all my bad habits.

you could use a spelling checker