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#1 2010-11-17 21:48:52

A-Cursed-Sacrifice
Member
Registered: 2010-11-15
Posts: 19

The Beast Within

I look to the sky
and see my new master
I ask her why
as my blood moves faster

The moon shines bright
but she doesn't reply
And despite the night
i try to deny

The evil inside
but i don't have control
She's raising the tide
as she's taking my soul

My scream echoes loud
as i fall to the ground
I have been endowed
with the curse of the hound

I wake up at dawn
and i have been fed
The beast is gone
but my heart is dead.

i'm not sure if i should keep the last stanza, i really like it but i don't know.
this was my first poem about werewolves but i liked it a lot, tell me what you think.


"One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching."
"Everything in the right dose is poison, Aconitum, Laceflower, Monkshood, Love..."

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#2 2010-11-19 23:10:14

A-Cursed-Sacrifice
Member
Registered: 2010-11-15
Posts: 19

Re: The Beast Within

come now you must have something to say about it?


"One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching."
"Everything in the right dose is poison, Aconitum, Laceflower, Monkshood, Love..."

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#3 2010-11-20 18:38:10

Afflicted.Soul
Member
From: Fayetteville, North Carolina
Registered: 2010-11-18
Posts: 137

Re: The Beast Within

=] I like it. I must say it is simply written, but very entertaining, I think.


Why didn't you just jump....

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#4 2011-05-24 14:20:44

shadow_paws
Member
From: a little town called Capac
Registered: 2011-05-23
Posts: 14

Re: The Beast Within

Good, very much like what being a new werewolf would feel like - or being a werewolf not in control of yourself, like a curse.


If you take a copy of the Christian bible and put it in the wind and rain it will disintegrate,
our bible IS the wind and rain.

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