Insane

Lonely and slowly fading away, eroding slowly into the dust filled wind where you left me.
I gave you my heart... and you played with it eventually breaking it. I have nothing left worth to say so i stitch my mouth shut. I've seen to much so i stitch my eyes shut. I've been listening and heard to much so i become deaf. And finally i felt so much so i cut a hole where my heart should be to empty the broken pieces from my chest and become numb. I lay still in the world I've created myself where I'm alone... like i always been. A world where i can feel comfortable. A place where i feel no pain. A place where i can feel free.......

then again... it gets lonely here...



Seconds feel like hours.. and hours turn into days.. and I'm still alone..

uncared for, neglected, and forgotten like a wild dog no where to call home or to love. Slowly dying of the loners sickness I roam around trapped in my own mind of insanity wanting to get out. I try to call for help but i cant speak. I try to look around and see but all i see is darkness. I try to listen for any signs of life of someone and hear that I'm not alone but I can't hear. I reach out to find some one but i don't know where I am.. I am lost..
Spiraling deep down in a ocean of my insanity I howl in agony and anger tearing apart the stitches that bound me in my head opening my eyes to see a crowd of people watching me in horror as i uttered something from my mouth.

"What did I say? Why are the looking at me like that? What did i do? Stop it? I didn't mean to. Can someone please help me?  leave me alone... leave me alone... LEAVE ME ALONE! Go away. Stop staring at me. What do you want from me?"

They still stand there looking at me in horror as if they feel sorry for me as if they can see how bad I'm suffering. I open my eyes more and see more clearly that those people are family friends and loved ones. People who i thought would never be there for me.. I look at myself standing in a puddle of blood pale as the moon.

"It's too late for me.. it's my time to go.. i cant take it anymore. You were too late. i waited too long.."

I look up one more time only to see myself in front of the crowd crying blood.. I see myself say something but its in a whisper and all i can make out is... "We did all we could. its time to set our minds free."
I walk up to myself only to see myself transform into death himself, greeting me with a gift of freedom.. a gun. i gladly take his offering for now we are friends. I put it up to my head.. with a smile on my face my final words... "This is how it should of been......."