how sad.

Thanks wsw

I really like this FenrirFinale, I write poetry myself but I don't think it really suits the werewolf theme, do you post your work anywhere else? I tend to post mine on allpoetry.com, you can meet some other really good poets on there and get some great feedback

Oh I read that one, it was really good too and I can undestand that, I get the same sort of feeling on another forum i'm a part of but you shouldn't stop posting them Fenrir because I find that people read them, enjoy them and in some cases can't say much to be of help because they're not really into poetry or that they can't directly see any problems with the work, I really like this and if I was going to give any criticism it would be that the piece has no defined rhythm because of the way you have two short lines at the start and then longer lines in the middle and then short lines again, which for me personally throws me off a little but that might just be me and that you don't really have a defined rhyming scheme:

Diamonds are forever

Hearts never last

With every beat they wither away so very very  fast

Memories are lost and hopes are undone

This is something that happens sadly to everyone

But not to me, for I've a heart of stone you see

Chipped and cracked but not broken it rests in me

They call me cold because of this

I really don't see why

This is how I live my life

This is how I die

I think if you effect the form by either merging some of the shorter lines together or shortening the longer lines or bulking up shorter lines ect. that would probably help the change in rhyme scheme, if it were me personally i'd shorten the longer lines because I think the shorter ones flow well and then you could have the whole no rhyme, rhyme, no rhyme, rhyme ect. form but that's just me, I hope this helps ^_^

Last edited by BrokenHowls (2010-07-10 19:07:38)

Ah.. so that was a complete waste of my time XD hahaha, oh well, though if they're meant to be fitted to music, do you actually make something out of them? That'd be nice to hear ^_^

True true, well who likes boxes anyway, I tend to keep to the older styles more because it's part of my own natural form than anything and I just kinda assumed with the rhyme that you were going for that sort thing ^^' oh well, I hope you do well with a publisher though

hey i just read this and i gotta say this is in my opinion really good material. so please by all means keep posting your work on here. i read a few of the others and i enjoyed them. also good luck on the publisher thing man.

no problem. when i see good literature of anykind i try to give my opinion.

will do. you post it and ill be sure to check it out and comment (just so you know i just checked some of the other things you put on here and all good so far)

well keep in mind that at any given time there seems to be (at most) 15 people who check in regularly and im not sure who looks where but just cuz theres no comments doesnt mean its not good. a few things i read i cant really comment on simply cuz i dont know what to say on them besides they are good... then again ive only been on here for about two months now so i may have missed some people... but you get my point though, right?

not to mention that you have multiple works, that are both stories or poetry, and you plan on publishing them. thats a lot more than most people can say if you ask me. i do a bit of poetry but i dont plan on publishing or anything mainly cuz i still gotta figure out the finer points of it all. and also if you get that all published i think it will work out quite well

nice. i particularly enjoyed those. when were those written/typed?