That is very interesting. It leaves a lot of questions to the reader, which definitely works to capture their attention. A very good opening Fenrir. I would definitely like to read more. I will say it is confusing, however, I believe it is supposed to play out that way. It is very well written as well. Keep up the writing.

Your welcome.

woah.nice work

I love it!

This is awesome!
*Donates $20*

The scenes produced in my head from this are very surreal.  Even though it would appear that only the first part was a dream, we're still very much inside the character's mind.  You've done well at making me feel like I am one of his thoughts.   Weird...   More...

tommorow is here,tommorow is always here for today is yesterdays tommorow.

My apologies to anyone waiting for the update you may have to wait a little longer. We've got some pretty bad storms happening around here right now and I'm not leaving the computer plugged in. ( I've already lost one tower that way. XP )

Hopefully I'll be on sometime later to post it and if not I'll be on tomorrow morning.

FenrirFinale wrote:

Part 2: Reality

" I can feel the water and hear the waves. If I open my eyes I'll see the sun above me through the blue. " The boy thought with a grimace. But when he opened his eyes it wasn't water above him but the sky thick with puffy clouds flowing across the horizon.   

" No it was just a dream. " He realizes as he blinks the sun from his eyes. " I came out here to relax on the hillside and feel asleep that's all.  " He told himself in a desperate mumble as he sat up. But no, dreams didn't feel that real. At least not for him.

As he sat he remembered the man named Isaac with the scar on his cheek. And he thought of that gorgeous sunset and the view from the cliff.  Then his mind skipped ahead to the feeling of falling from the cliff and into the water. He shuddered without knowing it and stood his skin cool even in the bright sunlight.

" I should just walk this off. " He muttered to himself as he started down the hillside and towards the woods that surrounded it. This far from town he knew he wouldn't meet anyone. Not that it would have mattered if he had. Most people just glanced over him their gazes slipping from one side to the next almost as if he wasn't there at all.

So he walking into the woods oblivious to which direction he was going and to where he had come from. That may have been his mistake from the beginning. Those of us who walk with no real destination tend to end up in the strangest of places.

But still he walked thinking about the dream and wondering where the place where Isaac lived was. Even if he'd been looking he wouldn't have seen the hole. Thick tall grass grew around the rim of the gap in the earth and a log to the left made it seem logical to just cut through the tall green blades.

No one ever said the logical choice was the right one.

As the boy stepped into the grass patch he realized something was wrong. The feeling of his foot being suspended in open air giving that away. So he fell the small pinprick of light that the sun cast into the ground disappearing in seconds.  He had enough time to think. " This is like falling in the dream except this time I won't hit water but stone. " Then everything went black.


End of Part 2: Reality

Hey Frenir I like were you are taking the plot. It is very intriguing. I enjoy the way you keep it simple and detailed at the same moment. Keep it up.

None of us remember being born. The boy was able to experience it first hand though waking up in a world of unknowns without even the comfort of knowing his own name.

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Part 3: Unreality


" Hey! " The voice that called was brash and rough, distinctly male. " Hey! Get up kid! You alright? " Whoever was near him called out. Something resembling  concern showing in their voice.

That's when he realized that surrounding him was the sound of waves and gulls. Before his mind could get any further in processing this new information he felt a large hand on his shoulder shaking him gently. " Yo, you alive? " The voice asked concern now etched into his tone.

The boy groaned his eyes opening slowly to the bight sky above him. He groaned again quickly dropping the lids back down to block the early morning sun. " Ouch. "  He breathed out in one long sigh.

The hand on his shoulder relaxed it's grip the owner of the voice relaxing with it. " Pain's good kid it means you get to live for another day. " His voice was steady but relieve hide under the rough surface. " Glad  to see you're not dead digging graves is hard work. " He chuckled slightly at his attempt at humor.

" Sorry, I wouldn't have wanted to inconvenience you. " The boy laughed his hands flying up to his skull as the action revealed a throbbing headache in his cranium.

His eyes edged open slowly as the ache faded and he saw for the first time who his would be gravedigger was.
The man was large to say the least; the shirt he was sleeveless revealing muscles large enough to snap a small tree trunk. The hand still on his shoulder was roughly the size of a small plate and could have surely crushed the boy's bones as soon as help him to his feet.

" Wow it's a giant. " He mumbled before anything logical could come from his mouth.

The giant laughed leaning back onto his haunches as his bellows raised a flock of gulls resting on the rocks. " No I'm not a giant boy, just a big man. " His laughter eased some and he smiled at the kid, standing and lifting him to his feet in one move. " My name's Isaac. I'm a fisherman and this here is my beach and my home. "

End of Part 3 : Unreality

Last edited by FenrirFinale (2009-08-06 11:28:09)

Very good. I love this.