My heart just shattered and I don't know why. 

I'm torn again between anger and misery.

I realize now that you're the only person I can talk to anymore.

I'm crying silently now hoping no one walks in to see.

I must never show weakness around anyone.

I promised myself I'd stay strong no matter what.

That I wouldn't turn back into the sad trembling little boy who grew up waiting to die just for relief.

This hurts so much.

This indecision, this crushing weight of despair.

I'm breaking shattering apart as I sit here. 

All I want is a pair of arms to wrap around me to let me know I'm loved.

But I can't ask that of anyone here. 

I've gotta stay strong and save my tears for the night when the only ones who see are the stars and the moon.