You are not logged in.
#1 2010-07-11 04:35:35
- UlfrAndi
- Spirit Walker
- From: Your Darkest Dreams
- Registered: 2010-05-26
- Posts: 13066
Misconceptions
i dont really know if this one is anygood or not seeing as i am typing this its completely off the top of my mind so.... here i go
Misconceptions on Dark and Light,
Occur quite frequently, but let me ask this:
Why, when the Day ends, do we accept the Night?
Is it that Mankind cant remeber what we were before Life?
Before we could even comprehend mutuality or strife?
Or that they don't realize that they are two parts of something more?
Just as Chaos and Order are balanced so are the two mentioned before.
But we are still young and have much to learn in our time.
And hopefully we won't commit the ultimate crime....
not my best but then again its right off the top of my head so give me your opinion and thank you for reading.
And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do
Offline
#2 2010-07-11 13:57:57
- Kormiak Rue
- Bard of the Forum
- From: Warrior's Hold
- Registered: 2010-06-19
- Posts: 4476
Re: Misconceptions
Not bad, but I must admit, the fact that you did it on the fly really shows. Still, not bad, in spite of that!
"Póg mo thóin!" -Irish "Saying"............
"Molon labe" -Meaning "Come and get them" This was the Greek response to the Persians order to surrender their weapons at the Thermopylae pass in 480 B.C.E.................
"Qoud vides fecisse, factum ducas" -Latin, meaning "What you see is done, so consider it done"
Offline
#3 2010-07-12 13:55:43
- curiousape
- Member
- Registered: 2010-03-25
- Posts: 47
Re: Misconceptions
on the fly takes talent my friend
if you expect something to happen, it will; whether good, bad or judgmental
but if you hold no expectations, the world opens up with myriad possibility
Offline
#4 2010-07-12 14:28:20
- UlfrAndi
- Spirit Walker
- From: Your Darkest Dreams
- Registered: 2010-05-26
- Posts: 13066
Re: Misconceptions
i'm not sure what your implying. is it that i did good or that i shouldn't try that until i get better?
And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do
Offline
#5 2010-07-12 14:31:53
- FenrirFinale
- Member
- From: N.C. Look me up
- Registered: 2008-06-02
- Posts: 12222
Re: Misconceptions
UlfrAndi wrote:
i dont really know if this one is anygood or not seeing as i am typing this its completely off the top of my mind so.... here i go
Misconceptions on Dark and Light,
Occur quite frequently, but let me ask this:
Why, when the Day ends, do we accept the Night?
Is it that Mankind cant remeber what we were before Life?
Before we could even comprehend mutuality or strife?
Or that they don't realize that they are two parts of something more?
Just as Chaos and Order are balanced so are the two mentioned before.
But we are still young and have much to learn in our time.
And hopefully we won't commit the ultimate crime....
not my best but then again its right off the top of my head so give me your opinion and thank you for reading.
A single spelling error in the work. Not bad for something instant. This is a poem that could go either way. With a bit of refinement it could become a great work. I especially like the repetition of sound. All in all it's a pretty good work for something quick, Ulfr. 
You do have talent so don't waste it
Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.
Seize the Night~
Offline
#6 2010-07-12 14:55:00
- UlfrAndi
- Spirit Walker
- From: Your Darkest Dreams
- Registered: 2010-05-26
- Posts: 13066
Re: Misconceptions
thanks man and i just saw that as i opened the page (the spelling error) funny it was the first thing i noticed XD, anyways i wont waste it, thanks for the feedback. 
And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do
Offline
#7 2010-07-12 14:56:53
- FenrirFinale
- Member
- From: N.C. Look me up
- Registered: 2008-06-02
- Posts: 12222
Re: Misconceptions
lol. Word of advice. If possible always let someone else proofread what you've typed before submitting. Get two people to do it if you can. They will almost always catch something you missed.
Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.
Seize the Night~
Offline
#8 2010-07-12 15:02:09
- UlfrAndi
- Spirit Walker
- From: Your Darkest Dreams
- Registered: 2010-05-26
- Posts: 13066
Re: Misconceptions
yeah i know what you mean. i didnt have anyone over to help though so... yeah. but thanks for the advice and i will be sure to use it
And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do
Offline
#9 2010-07-12 15:02:54
- FenrirFinale
- Member
- From: N.C. Look me up
- Registered: 2008-06-02
- Posts: 12222
Re: Misconceptions
If you want a proof reader send it to my email. I'll be happy to help.
Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.
Seize the Night~
Offline
#10 2010-07-12 15:06:21
- UlfrAndi
- Spirit Walker
- From: Your Darkest Dreams
- Registered: 2010-05-26
- Posts: 13066
Re: Misconceptions
all right thanks. hey does it tell you who its from when you use the email from here?
And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do
Offline
#11 2010-07-12 15:08:22
- FenrirFinale
- Member
- From: N.C. Look me up
- Registered: 2008-06-02
- Posts: 12222
Re: Misconceptions
mhm. Or you can just copy the email address from the profile.
Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.
Seize the Night~
Offline
#12 2010-07-12 15:10:35
- UlfrAndi
- Spirit Walker
- From: Your Darkest Dreams
- Registered: 2010-05-26
- Posts: 13066
Re: Misconceptions
yeah i know but i just needed to know in case of a need for anonymity in the future. (i know anyone can find it on the profile pages, but still i am just a bit paranoid)
And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do
Offline
#13 2010-07-12 15:12:26
- FenrirFinale
- Member
- From: N.C. Look me up
- Registered: 2008-06-02
- Posts: 12222
Re: Misconceptions
I can understand that perfectly. *smiles*
Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.
Seize the Night~
Offline
#14 2010-07-12 15:16:07
- UlfrAndi
- Spirit Walker
- From: Your Darkest Dreams
- Registered: 2010-05-26
- Posts: 13066
Re: Misconceptions
funny thing is: i have no reason to be paranoid. i just am. but then again it could be more of an odd state of awareness... but paranoid is a simpler way to explain it i suppose....
And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do
Offline
#15 2010-07-12 15:17:00
- FenrirFinale
- Member
- From: N.C. Look me up
- Registered: 2008-06-02
- Posts: 12222
Re: Misconceptions
Cautious is a kinder word. I'm the same way. You like knowing all your options. Correct?
Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.
Seize the Night~
Offline
#16 2010-07-12 15:19:45
- UlfrAndi
- Spirit Walker
- From: Your Darkest Dreams
- Registered: 2010-05-26
- Posts: 13066
Re: Misconceptions
most if not all so yeah pretty much.
And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do
Offline
#17 2010-07-12 15:22:06
- FenrirFinale
- Member
- From: N.C. Look me up
- Registered: 2008-06-02
- Posts: 12222
Re: Misconceptions
Aye. Well we need to get back on topic lol. Just talk in the personal forums before I lose my mod position for breaking the rules XD
Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.
Seize the Night~
Offline
|
|
|
