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#1 2010-07-11 04:35:35

UlfrAndi
Spirit Walker
From: Your Darkest Dreams
Registered: 2010-05-26
Posts: 13066

Misconceptions

i dont really know if this one is anygood or not seeing as i am typing this its completely off the top of my mind so.... here i go


Misconceptions on Dark and Light,
Occur quite frequently, but let me ask this:
Why, when the Day ends, do we accept the Night?
Is it that Mankind cant remeber what we were before Life?
Before we could even comprehend mutuality or strife?
Or that they don't realize that they are two parts of something more?
Just as Chaos and Order are balanced so are the two mentioned before.
But we are still young and have much to learn in our time.
And hopefully we won't commit the ultimate crime....

not my best but then again its right off the top of my head so give me your opinion and thank you for reading.


And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do

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#2 2010-07-11 13:57:57

Kormiak Rue
Bard of the Forum
From: Warrior's Hold
Registered: 2010-06-19
Posts: 4476

Re: Misconceptions

Not bad, but I must admit, the fact that you did it on the fly really shows.  Still, not bad, in spite of that!


"Póg mo thóin!"  -Irish "Saying"............
"Molon labe"  -Meaning "Come and get them"  This was the Greek response to the Persians order to surrender their weapons at the Thermopylae pass in 480 B.C.E.................
"Qoud vides fecisse, factum ducas" -Latin, meaning "What you see is done, so consider it done"

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#3 2010-07-12 13:55:43

curiousape
Member
Registered: 2010-03-25
Posts: 47

Re: Misconceptions

on the fly takes talent my friend


if you expect something to happen, it will; whether good, bad or judgmental 
but if you hold no expectations, the world opens up with myriad possibility

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#4 2010-07-12 14:28:20

UlfrAndi
Spirit Walker
From: Your Darkest Dreams
Registered: 2010-05-26
Posts: 13066

Re: Misconceptions

i'm not sure what your implying. is it that i did good or that i shouldn't try that until i get better?


And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do

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#5 2010-07-12 14:31:53

FenrirFinale
Member
From: N.C. Look me up
Registered: 2008-06-02
Posts: 12222

Re: Misconceptions

UlfrAndi wrote:

i dont really know if this one is anygood or not seeing as i am typing this its completely off the top of my mind so.... here i go


Misconceptions on Dark and Light,
Occur quite frequently, but let me ask this:
Why, when the Day ends, do we accept the Night?
Is it that Mankind cant remeber what we were before Life?
Before we could even comprehend mutuality or strife?
Or that they don't realize that they are two parts of something more?
Just as Chaos and Order are balanced so are the two mentioned before.
But we are still young and have much to learn in our time.
And hopefully we won't commit the ultimate crime....

not my best but then again its right off the top of my head so give me your opinion and thank you for reading.

A single spelling error in the work. Not bad for something instant. This is a poem that could go either way. With a bit of refinement it could become a great work. I especially like the repetition of sound. All in all it's a pretty good work for something quick, Ulfr. smile You do have talent so don't waste it


Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.

Seize the Night~

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#6 2010-07-12 14:55:00

UlfrAndi
Spirit Walker
From: Your Darkest Dreams
Registered: 2010-05-26
Posts: 13066

Re: Misconceptions

thanks man and i just saw that as i opened the page (the spelling error) funny it was the first thing i noticed XD, anyways i wont waste it, thanks for the feedback. big_smile


And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do

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#7 2010-07-12 14:56:53

FenrirFinale
Member
From: N.C. Look me up
Registered: 2008-06-02
Posts: 12222

Re: Misconceptions

lol. Word of advice. If possible always let someone else proofread what you've typed before submitting. Get two people to do it if you can. They will almost always catch something you missed.


Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.

Seize the Night~

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#8 2010-07-12 15:02:09

UlfrAndi
Spirit Walker
From: Your Darkest Dreams
Registered: 2010-05-26
Posts: 13066

Re: Misconceptions

yeah i know what you mean. i didnt have anyone over to help though so... yeah. but thanks for the advice and i will be sure to use it smile


And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do

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#9 2010-07-12 15:02:54

FenrirFinale
Member
From: N.C. Look me up
Registered: 2008-06-02
Posts: 12222

Re: Misconceptions

If you want a proof reader send it to my email. I'll be happy to help.


Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.

Seize the Night~

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#10 2010-07-12 15:06:21

UlfrAndi
Spirit Walker
From: Your Darkest Dreams
Registered: 2010-05-26
Posts: 13066

Re: Misconceptions

all right thanks. hey does it tell you who its from when you use the email from here?


And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do

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#11 2010-07-12 15:08:22

FenrirFinale
Member
From: N.C. Look me up
Registered: 2008-06-02
Posts: 12222

Re: Misconceptions

mhm. Or you can just copy the email address from the profile.


Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.

Seize the Night~

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#12 2010-07-12 15:10:35

UlfrAndi
Spirit Walker
From: Your Darkest Dreams
Registered: 2010-05-26
Posts: 13066

Re: Misconceptions

yeah i know but i just needed to know in case of a need for anonymity in the future. (i know anyone can find it on the profile pages, but still i am just a bit paranoid)


And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do

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#13 2010-07-12 15:12:26

FenrirFinale
Member
From: N.C. Look me up
Registered: 2008-06-02
Posts: 12222

Re: Misconceptions

I can understand that perfectly. *smiles*


Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.

Seize the Night~

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#14 2010-07-12 15:16:07

UlfrAndi
Spirit Walker
From: Your Darkest Dreams
Registered: 2010-05-26
Posts: 13066

Re: Misconceptions

funny thing is: i have no reason to be paranoid. i just am. but then again it could be more of an odd state of awareness... but paranoid is a simpler way to explain it i suppose....


And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do

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#15 2010-07-12 15:17:00

FenrirFinale
Member
From: N.C. Look me up
Registered: 2008-06-02
Posts: 12222

Re: Misconceptions

Cautious is a kinder word. I'm the same way. You like knowing all your options. Correct?


Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.

Seize the Night~

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#16 2010-07-12 15:19:45

UlfrAndi
Spirit Walker
From: Your Darkest Dreams
Registered: 2010-05-26
Posts: 13066

Re: Misconceptions

most if not all so yeah pretty much.


And if strength is born from heartbreak,
Then mountains I could move.
And if walls could speak,
I pray that they would tell me what to do

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#17 2010-07-12 15:22:06

FenrirFinale
Member
From: N.C. Look me up
Registered: 2008-06-02
Posts: 12222

Re: Misconceptions

Aye. Well we need to get back on topic lol. Just talk in the personal forums before I lose my mod position for breaking the rules XD


Always happy to chat so add me on Kik at ArcticRhapsody.

Seize the Night~

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